The interview in question took place yesterday on Live With Regis and Kelly while Cooper was filling in for Regis Philbin. You have to kind of admire him for cutting to the chase and asking the question that so many wonder but dare never to ask, and then turning around and defending himself with such animated vigor. Then again, he is the son of an octogenarian smut-peddler, so it kind of figures that he'd dive right in and ask about the boning that went on behind the scenes on the show.

But the highlight of the clip may actually be when Harris replies that she kissed ten guys on the show, provoking Cooper to say, "You know what...I just threw up in my mouth a little." Oh come on Andy—really?!

The passage she's chosen [very NSFW] is about a slave girl or something in a gold chain performing fellatio and waiting for milk and ohhhh God it's really wonderful/terribly disturbing. Perfect Friday fare.

Enjoy!

Cooper said that he went to Studio 54 with Jackson and a "bunch of people" when he was a 10 year-old child. He made no mention of whether or not his mother, octogenarian smut-peddler Gloria Vanderbilt, was one of those "bunch of people," so it's possible that Vanderbilt allowed Michael Jackson to take her 10 year-old son to what was New York City's most notorious den of drugs and sexual promiscuity without her.

I don't know whether I should feel jealous or outraged.

Vanderbilt is a famous romancer of famous men and generally could be described as "Fabbbbbbulous"—fabbbbbulous enough to write Obsession: An Erotic Tale at age 85, and make the New York Times blush:

But it nevertheless uses vocabulary and describes activities of a sort that readers of The New York Times are usually shielded from. There are scenes involving dildos, whips, silken cords and golden nipple clamps, not to mention an ebony, smooth-backed Mason Pearson hairbrush purchased at Harrods. As the book explains, spanking with a Mason-Pearson is a "serious matter," not the kind of thing that is rewarded with the "luscious afterglow of warm cocoa butter." Mint, cayenne pepper and a fresh garden carrot are deployed in the book in ways never envisioned by "The Joy of Cooking." And there is also a unicorn, though, blessedly, it remains a bystander.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Did you understand the implications of that, New York Times readers? They're saying that the unicorn's horn is not used as a dildo in this Glorida Vanderbilt book. AC seems a little sheepish but supportive, and Vanderbilt herself is incredibly blasé about the whole thing, so we must give her our hearty support and admiration for doing her thing as she wants in the face of the prim opposition of New York Times standards editors. If you know any such editors, be sure to buy them a smooth-backed hairbrush.
[NYT. Pic via]

Gloria Vanderbilt—a rich old lady, grrrr—has written a sexy smut book. Andrea Peyser is forced to quote from it extensively!

"I will begin, softly at first so that you can sleep a few more minutes, the long, slow, delicious process of licking your —--, and since I must have your honey milk . . . I will struggle to stay quiet . . . Master, I whisper as you surrender to our ecstasy."

Andrea Peyser is positively scandalized. Or not:

Sorry, son. Mommy has graduated to the full monty. But at 143 pages, "Obsession," you'll be relieved to know, is easily read with one hand.

I guess there comes a point in one's life where a dame must say, "What the hell!"

How we prayed that this day would come! Just remember Andrea, female vampires have nothing on bloggers. Call us. [NYP]