We're struggling for the term for the opposite of trainwreck...or when something is so complete and perfect a trainwreck that it becomes brilliant. Well, that's what the Gervais-helmed has the potential to be.

It takes real character for a show which owes its acclaim to a booze-fueled multi-decade run of awkward and embarrassing moments to double down on its off the rails strengths and book a host famed for creating legendary awkward and embarrassing moments. The combination of Gervais' bizarre out-of-sync with humanity style and a line of drunken award winners, could create the most brilliantly uncomfortable show of all time.

Certainly, this choice will widen the gap between the Globes and Oscars; as Oscar attempts to return to old timey glamour (and stodginess) the Globes will more become the free-wheeling, cantankerous, spontaneous alternative. There's definitely a market for both, but in this media environment, we know which side of the canyon we'd want to be on.

Much of the country did manage to witness the offending digit-extension (above), however. That in turn elicited 18 separate complaints to the FCC from outraged Americans—citizens not all that different from you or us, save for their distaste for Aronosfky's obscene (but artistically assured) hand gesture. From the LAT:

"We received 18 complaints about the Golden Globes telecast," FCC spokeswoman Edie Herman wrote in an e-mail to The Times, "and the commission is reviewing the matter."

An NBC spokeswoman confirmed that it aired the Aronofsky gesture on the live telecast. "On the West Coast, it went to black for two seconds," the spokeswoman e-mailed. "Beyond that, we have no further comment."

We're in a very different climate from the post-NippleGate days, when the FCC could strike terror in the hearts of network-heads by affixing ludicrous penalty sums to exposed parts (somewhere in the vicinity of $250k per mammilla) of Janet Jackson's anatomy. Of course, that would be overturned four years later, and it's going to take something a lot worse than a middle finger to shock more than 18 Americans these days—especially when the airwaves have run amok with vulgarities like Rosie Live! and Cloris Leachman's malfunctioning nethers.

• Breaking: FCC reviewing NBC's Golden Globes telecast [LAT]

Watching actors, soused on booze or just recognition, pal around from the Globes stage, it's easy to assume that Hollywood recognition translates into a comfortable life, that fame is the same as fortune.

But it's not always so. Take Brad Beyer, a top cast member in CBS' Jericho, the post-apocalyptic drama cancelled after an 18-month run. Fans loved the cult hit enough to convince CBS to give it a second try after an earlier cancellation.

Such a brief run did not allow Beyer, who originally hails from Waukesha, Wisconsin, to bide his post-cancellation free time next to the pool, waiting for his next opportunity.

Well, not his pool anyway: Our tipster sweats it was Beyer — "a bit heavier" in the nine months since his show was canceled — he saw working as a bell boy at the London Hotel in West Hollywood this past week. Perhaps the fringe benefits of the job include some time alongside the hotel's rooftop pool, though we doubt that. In the hospitality industry, the help generally do not get to mix with guests on their off hours.

The A-list is not nearly so constrained. The same night Beyer was spotted, Mickey Rourke was seen at a party thrown by oily Jason Binn's LA Confidential, wearing "shiny orange shoes" and stubbing out a cigarette inside the venue. Naughty.

Often the only thing that saves an awards show from being a total bore (aside from the fashion) is the prospect that a celebrity will deliver a charming and/or emotional acceptance speech that will be added to the annual clip reel of the most memorable moments. From the opening gasps of Winslet's acceptance speech for her second Golden Globe on Sunday night, it was clear it was such a speech (video below). But, while it seems many American critics found Winslet's speech endearingly flustered, the British were mortified.

Winslet apologizied to the other nominees (and dared to forget Angelina Jolie's name), but according to The Independent, it's not her fellow actresses who need an apology. "Never mind sorry to Anne, Meryl, Kristin and oh God, who's the other one," says the review. "It's us, her loyal British fans, to whom she should apologise. We expect less of you, Kate, much less."

Reviews of the Golden Globes from the British press attacked Winslet for everything from playing up British stereotypes to possibly being inebriated. The review in The Independent said the speech would "make a corpse wince with embarrassment" and that it was unexpected of an actress, "whose irreproachably middle-class upbringing in Reading has always seemed to imbue her with a rather sensible outlook on life." According to The Guardian, the speech "raises the occasional wave of nausea, swiftly followed by a rush of hands to eyes in order to block out the spectacle." The reviewer said of Winslet's urging herself out loud to "gather," "It would be interesting to know if anyone has ever said this outside the Mitford family, since 1932." And The Times critique asked if her second emotional trip to the podium could have been the result of her "down[ing] some bubbly between her two awards."

With The Telegraph reporting that bookmakers say Winslet is an "absolute certainty" to win at least one Oscar following her Golden Globes success, should Winslet start penning her Academy Awards speech now, lest she make a career-ruining speech and further anger the Brits? Angelina Jolie may have come back from announcing during her 2000 Best Supporting Actress Awards speech, "I'm so in love with my brother right now!" However, while he was leaping around the stage after his 1996 win for Jerry Maguire, Cuba Gooding Jr. probably didn't imagine he'd end up in Snow Dogs.

Winslet's first win for Best Supporting Actress for The Reader:

Winslet's second win for Best Actress for Revolutionary Road

Brian Viner: Get A Grip, Kate. You're Embarrassing Us [The Independent]
Winslet Joins The Cast Of Hollywood Howlers [The Times]
Gather! How To Accept An Award The Kate Winslet Way [The Guardian]
Kate Winslet Favourite To Follow Golden Globes With Oscar Win [The Telegraph]

We pass O'Neil's spineless self-defense on to you without comment — except of course for the requisite disclaimer that he does not speak on our behalf. And that we hope contrite Los Angeles Times representatives will soon arrive at our doors to apologize for O'Neil's continued, unchecked awards-season terrorism. No camera necessary.

• Tina Fey Accepts Our Apology [The Envelope]

Roger Friedman—from, gulp, Fox News—had a quick chat with the Entourage actor, who abruptly up and quit the Broadway production of Speed-the-Plow in which he was starring last month, citing mercury poisoning. From eating too much sushi and stuff! Piven told Friedman:

I was so sick for most of the run of the show. Some days I would sleep right until the time I had to go to the theater. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I was exhausted.

Hm... You know what else makes people sleep all day? Snorting a lot of cocaine and then staying up all night sending booty-call text messages to bevies of models. That has also been known to make a person want to sleep late into the afternoon. Not saying. Just sayin'.

Friedman does note that Piven's ironclad contract would prevent him from leaving the show without an accurate medical report. To that we say, good thing he has a fishy celebrity doctor in his back pocket.

Though, yes, Piven did seem healthy and chipper and past all of it last night (he even warmly commented on playwright David Mamet's crack that Piven wanted to be a thermometer), we know that his troubles may not be over yet. Can't a guy who's made millions of dollars and won lots of beautiful awards for basically playing himself just get a damn break once in a while?

Image, from a Golden Globes party last night, via Splash

1. Is this Kate Winslet's year, like, for real this time? To the extent we all love to hate the Globes and downplay their implications in the awards-season sweepstakes, the Best Actress winners are reliable-enough indicators of the competition in that Oscar category. Without a Helen Mirren or Reese Witherspoon tear-assing ahead of the pack, we get home-stretch sprints like last year's Julie Christie/Marion Cotillard race — revived this year as Winslet vs. Happy-Go-Lucky's Sally Hawkins. The latter actress has a Globe, Miramax and virtually the entire critical establishment at her back; Winslet has her own Globe, Scott Rudin, and gales of sentimental support at hers — not an unfavorable scenario, except she's only 33, and her movie is deplorable. Despite seven previous losses, the Academy doesn't owe her anything, and it will require a little more convincing than last night's showing to honor Winslet before it's ready. For now, it's still Hawkins's Oscar to lose.

2. Was Sunday night the beginning of the end for Sean Penn? Some observers have noted the HFPA's general distaste for Penn, a 2003 no-show when he won for Mystic River and an absentee loser last night to Mickey Rourke. But narcolepsy-inducing Globes politics aside, it's worth returning to the pre-Milk days, when Rourke was literally everywhere that mattered — Venice, Toronto, New York — stockpiling buzz, and Focus Features, for whatever reason, trickled Penn out with unusual deliberation. Milk's showing at last week's Critics Choice Awards implied Rourke may have peaked too soon, but Rourke's Globe allowed him a riveting onstage moment that the Academy will likely want to one-up.

3. Moreover, will Rourke dress any better to collect his Best Actor statuette next month? We're just saying, if only because that ridiculous wallet chain won't make it through the metal detector.

4. Does Paramount have any 11th-hour tricks up its sleeve for Benjamin Button? Slumdog Millionaire's Globes sweep doesn't portend Oscar supremacy, especially not in the continuing sting of 2007's indie-friendly awardscast backlash. Danny Boyle is all but assured Best Director, but Paramount has a suitcase full of campaign cash holding the Best Picture window open. But how much? Button slipped at the box office this week, but it's still a probable $120 million-grosser by Oscars night, and alongside The Dark Knight, it's the Academy's only hope of studio bone-throwing in a year when someone, anyone is needed to counteract the minimajors. Let the fourth-quarter comeback begin.

5. Wasn't it great to see Harvey Weinstein smile? A Best Picture for Vicky Cristina Barcelona and Winslet's supporting prize for The Reader took us back to the good old pre-suicide-threat/million-dollar-bet-losing days. He'll be at the Oscars with at least Winslet and Penelope Cruz and maybe a couple screenplay nods for their respective films. Baby steps, Harvey, baby steps. 2009 is all yours — we can feel it.

• The pair was seen last week with a group of 10 or so people at Lure in Soho enjoying a three-hour tour. Billionaire man-about-town Ron Burkle was there. The captains of wealth ate and ate and ate, their mouths glistening with fish grease, their bellies sloshing with beer, the salty dogs laughing heartily all evening. Sexy! [P6]
• Don't worry. The Blue Parrot, the "honky tonk" Mexican restaurant in decidedly un-honky tonk and un-Mexican East Hampton, will live again. And it will refuse to modernize or "go trendy." Phew. [P6]
• For $50,000 wan actress Chloe Sevigny will show up to your party and sulk for a while, then whine to you that she doesn't know how much a quart of milk costs. For an extra ten grand, she'll chain smoke in the corner and pass out in a heap on the floor. [P6]
• Swoony vampire hunk Robert Pattinson, from teen sex tingler Twilight, apparently told a young lady at a bar: "If I could, I’d have a — on the inside of my elbow so I could lick it all day long.” We're assuming the "—" is code for popsicle. [NYDN]
• Everyone at the Golden Globes took home bags and bags fabulous, glittery swag except for a few pompous principled little prisses. Vanessa Hudgens, the superstar from High School Musical, chatted modestly about her enormous new house while taking $12,000 worth of free shit, like a BlackBerry and a year's worth of movie passes and a gym membership and she smiled and politely farted while outside a hobo ran by in flames and helicopters began dropping out of the sky. [NYDN]
• Elsewhere at the Golden Globe Awards last night: Sascha Baron Cohen scandalized everyone by calling Guy Ritchie Madonna's hired help, Tina Fey made fun of bloggers, Kate Winslet won all the awards, Brad Pitt and Brangelina or whatever were "chaotic and messy," Aaron Eckhart said that Heath Ledger's posthumous meaningless trophy was "fantastic," a movie about horrifyingly impoverished Mumbai won many awards (the ones Kate Winslet didn't snatch away) as well as lots of self-congratulating nodding, knowing applause from the audience, and then across the country everyone else went broke [Us, NYT]

Image via Splash

As a result, Golden Globes were actually interesting. Outside of Hollywood.

Tina Fey killed by telling the internet to "suck it." Only Sacha Baron Cohen seemed to go over the line and fall on his face, because there's just no sport in laughing at Madonna's ex-husband.

Colin Farrell explained his case of the sniffles:

If Tracy Morgan doesn't get an Emmy nomination for his Golden Globe speech, hope is dead in America:

Tina Fey wisely conserved her ammo for her own speech:

Darren Aronofsky turned an entire generation of children into future thugs, with obscenity:

Sascha Baron Cohen died a little inside (and a lot outside):

Kate Winslet would like to apologize to all the losers, for being so awesome. What's that one loser's name? Brange-something?

Some points of clarification, though. Two of the three commenters Fey called out in her speech (video above) are the same person — "dianefan" used to be "cougar-letter." And the third, "BabsonLacrosse," totally got caught in the crossfire.

Dianefan has been kind of a d-bag, as Fey would put it. Since at least September, when she was slamming the choice of Fey to play Sarah Palin on Saturday Night Live:

I think there are lots of choices other than Tina... Megan Mullally, Sarah Silverman, Teri Hatcher, Shannon Doherty... Not everyone has to think that Tina Fey is the be all and end all... I simply think all of those actresses have some spunk in them that could work.

Dianefan was more vicious Oct. 23 2008, as cougar-letter (see quotes in later posts), on the idea of Fey hosting the Oscars:

Tina Fey would be a dreadful host. That Sarah Palin bit is getting very old.

Gotta love the animated puking graphic! Dianefan has been big on those.

Nov. 20 2008, in the official 30 Rock Season 3 thread:

Tina Fey was simply like the pimple on my face - just there ....  I think that the key issue here is the fact that when Tina is at her best, she's just not that great.

Dec. 14 2008, after the Golden Globe nominations were announced:

I just hope they give the win to anyone but Tina Fey. Boy I can't wait until Edie Falco comes back on the scene just to wipe that smug look off Tina's face.

Dec. 16, after Fey failed to garner a nod from the vaunted "Golden Satellite Awards:"

These wins are sooooo inspiring. I'm so stoked that Tina Fey didn't win.

Jan. 10, day before the awards:

This Tina Fey love fest is a bloody joke at this point. I am rooting for anyone else in that category.

Well, that didn't work.

But at least she got a shout-out! Maybe that will make Dianefan a bit less of b? Hahahaha no. From tonight:

I'm famous. She mentioned BabsonLacrosse too. Sorry Tina Fey but I still don't think you deserved to win.

BabsonLacrosse (now "KateWinsGG") has not posted much on Fey. She seems to kind of adore her, though:

Dec. 14 , in reaction to the Golden Globe nominations:

Tina Fey and Christina Applegate are the 2 best comedic actresses on TV right now. To suggest they got in due to the Palin impersonation or breast cancer is absurd.

What got Fey was probably this slightly bitchy comment, in agreement with the dreaded dianefan, Jan. 10:

Fey if she wins might as well start thanking Sarah Palin because while I like Fey on 30 Rock, she's certainly won enough for it as of now.

And now, BabsonLacrosse, YA BURNT.

In the most flattering way, of course. It's a long way up from anonymous Web board haunt to televised-awards-speech diss fodder. And that may have been the idea. In addition to being clever and funny, Fey's faux-rant had the effect of bringing Fey and her show down to Earth, closer to its intended audience. Jack Donaghy would never endorse such a move, but then Jack Donaghy and his real-life ilk have never seen first-hand the free publicity that comes from being a YouTube darling. Fey has.

(Last clip in video from LA Times.)

11:02: And we're out! Where's the Bollywood dance number? The least the Globes could do is have a poop-covered Christine Lahti emerge from the bathroom to claim Tom Cruise's autograph!

10:59: And the winner of Best Motion Picture Drama is Slumdog MillionZZZZ. The only thing unpredictable about the win is how bedazzled the producing team's tuxedos are.

10:53: Rourke's plastic surgery-correcting plastic surgery has really settled nicely. Wait, our screen just blanked out as Rourke called Darren Aronofsky "one tough mother—" We'll just assume he did a near-fatal (yet triumphant!) Ram Jam.

10:52: "Mickey Rourke, Mickey Rourke! Whose wallet chain are you wearing?"

10:49: Every gay at this party is tangentially connected to someone on-screen. Someone's parents are friends with Nicole Kidman's mother! The boy we're dating is the second cousin of Joan from Mad Men! The dude in the kitchen personally applied the sequins to Best Actor winner Mickey Rourke's scarf! It never ends (much like this ceremony).

10:43: Rainn Wilson introduced himself self-effacingly as a "TV actor." Now. Mad Men wins TV Drama. Oooh, Elisabeth Moss is there! Can't wait for the inevitable Page Six story on her weepy backstage confrontation with former Speed-the-Plow costar Jeremy Piven.

10:38: Mark Wahlberg Talks (Shit About Gabriel Byrne) to Cameron Diaz! The Best Actress Globe goes to Kate Winslet. Now, when we make jokes about her pair of Golden Globes, we'll be forced to be more specific.

10:31: Sacha Baron Cohen is introduced as the star of Bruno, and we can barely believe the HFPA didn't use the Defamer-appended subtitle. The Comedy winner? Vicky Cristina Barcelona! Drew Barrymore approves. The Globe is accepted by, uh, a sparkly Donna Pescow?

10:30: Salma Hayek faces a cavalier crowd willing to natter on through her awards show patter. Talk in rapid, authoritative Spanish, Salma!

10:22 Colin Farrell wins a Globe for In Bruges! Free hummus and pita bread for everybody!

10:21: Sandra Bullock breaks her "Flemish" hymen on air, an act that earns the ceremony an abrupt MA rating.

10:15: Scalpings, Parte Tres: Emma Thompson has absconded with Glenn Close's Damages lace-front. Best Director? Danny Boyle, for Slumdog Millionaire.

10:14: Oh, these He's Just Not That Into You commercials! "He Myspaced me!" "Don't cyber-stalk him!" Can we have some Geocities jokes? God, isn't it a pain when you want to email your distant fiancee but AOL keeps giving you a busy modem signal?

10:04: At the podium now, Spielberg comments on the superfluous Golden Globe award redesign (kind of like those CG'd-to-death E.T. reissue clips that played during the montage).

10:02: Joan Crawford gets more face time in this Spielberg montage then either The Terminal or The Lost World.

9:57: Seriously? One more hour? The ceremony sacrifices its breakneck speed to give an honorary award to severely undervalued auteur Steven Spielberg.

9:47: David Duchovny and Jane Krakowski display uncomfortable sparks as Krakowski gives a Golden Globe to Tina Fey, who calls out internet commenters for their hatin'. We're sorry, Tina!

9:45: Kate Beckinsale (or Sally Hawkins? We're not sure!) is terrified of Sean Combs.

9:43: "When I used to listen to ABBA as a wee, hairy-chested eight-year-old," Pierce Brosnan overshares, "I had no idea I would one day star in a movie that desecrates those songs. Who knew that was even possible?"

9:36: Tracy Morgan starts a feud with Cate Blanchett while accepting 30 Rock's Best TV Comedy Golden Globe. He's in fine, big-breasted company.

9:32: A disheveled, mutton-chopped Paul Giamatti wins Best TV Actor for John Adams and calls out Tom Wilkinson as a Camel Lights pusher. He then goes back to his hunch-shouldered work sending the Russians into space.

9:30: Renée Zellweger, dressed in a funereal straitjacket, delivers the most pissed-off introduction to The Reader possible. Thanks a lot, Entertainment Weekly!

9:22: Ledger-hating presenter Amy Poehler hands an award to Alec Baldwin for 30 Rock, who displays his comedy prowess by telling a Rumer Willis non-joke that the confused audience decides they should probably laugh at anyway.

9:21: Simon Beaufoy wins Best Screenplay for Slumdog Millionaire! We weren't aware this award was given to first halves of screenplays.

9:19: The whittled-down Seth Rogen is in serious danger of resembling his stick figure stand-in on the Zack and Miri poster.

9:12: Best Actress in a TV Drama or Miniseries winner Laura Linney should really be thanking HD rather than HBO. Them cheeks are luminous!

9:10: The scalpings continue: Shirley MacLaine has stolen Clay Aiken's hair.

9:07: Colin Farrell makes a family-friendly reference to his past, sex tape-enabling cocaine use before presenting an award to Waltz with Bashir director Ari Folman.

9:05: Tom Brokaw, sounding more like Barbara Walters every year.

8:57: Amy Poehler: Not that big a fan of Supporting Actor winner Heath Ledger!

8:55: Proud mother Demi Moore gives a shout-out to Miss Golden Globe, her daughter Rumer. Mother/daughter knee lifts at Dr. Lipshitz's this Tuesday!

8:54: Drew Barrymore has scalped Angie Dickinson. That is all.

8:50: Three degrees of Jake Gyllenhaal! One of this viewing party's gays (don't you have some at yours?) reveals that his husband tutored the on-screen Jake Gyllenhaal in math at age 17.

8:47: Sally: Rebecca Hall and Kate Beckinsale called. They want their face and dramatic brunette updo back.

8:45: Sally Hawkins wins Best Actress in a Comedy for Happy-Go-Lucky! It seems like an impressive achievement until you realize she was competing against Meryl Streep not for Doubt but for Mamma Mia.

8:44: Who was that text-messaging next to America Ferrera? We hope not Blake Lively!

8:41: Haha, Wall-E director Andrew Stanton is virtually out of his seat and at the podium before they actually announce that he's won the Animated Film award.

8:39: Ricky Gervais (drink in hand!) continues his awards show trek, despite being a noted Oscar-eschewer. Awards ceremonies, he's just not that into you. (Sorry, the pervasive commercials have finally demolished our defenses. Who wants to make an appletini date at the Arclight?).

8:35: Zachary Quinto just surged past Zac Efron in the night's Skinny Tie Sweepstakes. Gentlemen, it's not too late to rock a bolo! Anna Paquin wins the presented prize, for Best Profanity-Laden Reaction to Finding Out That Your Second Love Interest Can Lick His Own Balls.

8:33: Best Actor in a TV Drama goes to Gabriel Byrne over Michael C. Hall. How many sisters does a guy have to fuck for a Golden Globe in this town?

8:29: Eva Mendes (who's clearly been buying turquoise necklaces from Tuba City jewelry shop owner Whoopi Goldberg) brings out HFPA president Jorge Camara, who is introduced to weirdly specific Cuban music. All right then.

8:27: Don Cheadle gets the introduction he's worked his whole life for: "And now, the star of upcoming film Hotel for Dogs!"

8:15: A hearty, hale Jeremy Piven loses the supporting actor TV prize to Tom Wilkinson for John Adams. Golden Globe producers celebrate the moment by cutting to the 30 Rock table, where a blond to the right of Alec Baldwin chooses the perfect moment to solicit lip gloss from Tina Fey.

8:07: Is that hirsute mountain man Jason Priestly presenting Best Song? No, it's Sting, somehow! Miley Cyrus greets the announcement of her nomination with a Gaston-soliciting tongue extension before Bruce Springsteen is handed the prize.

8:03: "Mama's talking," complains ignored presenter Jennifer Lopez. She presents Best Supporting Actress in a Film to Kate Winslet, for The Reader. That sound you hear is Scott Rudin and Harvey Weinstein unfiring two assistants.

8:00: It's starting! As always, the Globes have chosen a terribly Zeitgeisty pop song to intro us in (in this case, from the Pussycat Dolls). Where are the revised, Globe-specific lyrics, though? Either go full-shame or go home, HFPA!

7:45: In Bruges costars Brendan Gleeson and Colin Farrell are being interviewed. "Who's the fat guy?" asks a friend. "Some eccentric gay billionaire who bought Colin Farrell?"

7:30: Nancy O'Dell and her minions have assembled some seemingly random celebrity pairs to interview during the pre-show: Sigourney Weaver and Beyonce! Aaron Eckhart and Rachel Griffiths! Sadly, O'Dell doesn't ask Griffiths how it feels to pass the sibling-fucking torch to her former Six Feet Under costar Michael C. Hall.

7:20: Forgive us for our late start, as we've been busy assembling a cone of silence that involves not visiting the front page of Yahoo, the IMDb, or Facebook, lest we stumble upon a spoiler crumb dropped by our more fortunate East Coast brethren. We couldn't bear it if we knew ahead of time just how that nail-biting Supporting Actor race would turn out (we've heard Heath Ledger is a dark horse!).

Winners will be posted up top and in italics.

Winners (announced)

Best Motion Picture - Drama
The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button
Frost/Nixon
The Reader
Revolutionary Road
Slumdog Millionaire — winner

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama
Leonardo DiCaprio – Revolutionary Road
Frank Langella – Frost/Nixon
Sean Penn – Milk
Brad Pitt – The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button
Mickey Rourke – The Wrestler — winner (Darren Aronofsky flicks Rourke off during his acceptance speech. West Coast probably won't get to see that.)

Best Television Series - Drama
Dexter (SHOWTIME)
House (FOX)
In Treatment (HBO)
Mad Men (AMC) — winner
True Blood (HBO)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama
Anne Hathaway – Rachel Getting Married
Angelina Jolie – Changeling
Meryl Streep – Doubt
Kristin Scott Thomas – I've Loved You So Long
Kate Winslet – Revolutionary Road — winner (Paraphrase: Thanks Anne, Meryl, Kristen, and who's the other one? Oh yeah, Angelina. Zing!)

Best Motion Picture - Musical Or Comedy
Burn After Reading
Happy-Go-Lucky
In Bruges
Mamma Mia!
Vicky Cristina Barcelona — winner

Best Performance by an Actress In A Television Series - Musical Or Comedy
Christina Applegate – Samantha Who? (ABC)
America Ferrera – Ugly Betty (ABC)
Tina Fey – 30 Rock (NBC) — winner
Debra Messing – The Starter Wife (USA)
Mary-Louise Parker – Weeds (SHOWTIME)

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Musical Or Comedy
Javier Bardem – Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Colin Farrell – In Bruges — winner
James Franco – Pineapple Express
Brendan Gleeson – In Bruges
Dustin Hoffman – Last Chance Harvey

Best Director - Motion Picture
Danny Boyle – Slumdog Millionaire — winner
Stephen Daldry – The Reader
David Fincher – The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button
Ron Howard – Frost/Nixon
Sam Mendes – Revolutionary Road

Best Television Series - Musical Or Comedy
30 Rock (NBC) — winner (Tracy Morgan gave speech of the night for 30 Rock: Tina Fey and I had an agreement that if Barack Obama won I could speak for the show... Deal with it Kate Winslet, I am the face of post-racial America.) (Show took home a Best Comedy Emmy last year as well.)
Californication (SHOWTIME)
Entourage (HBO)
The Office (NBC)
Weeds (SHOWTIME)

Best Performance by an Actor in a Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Ralph Fiennes – Bernard And Doris (HBO)
Paul Giamatti – John Adams (HBO) — winner
Kevin Spacey – Recount (HBO)
Kiefer Sutherland – 24 (FOX)
Tom Wilkinson – Recount (HBO)

Best Performance by an Actor In A Television Series - Musical Or Comedy
Alec Baldwin – 30 Rock (NBC) — winner (Well earned. But he does already have one Emmy.)
Steve Carell – The Office (NBC)
Kevin Connolly – Entourage (HBO)
David Duchovny – Californication (SHOWTIME)
Tony Shalhoub – Monk (USA)

Best Screenplay - Motion Picture
The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button
Doubt
Frost/Nixon
The Reader
Slumdog Millionaire — winner

Best Performance by an Actress In A Mini-series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Judi Dench – Cranford (PBS)
Catherine Keener – An American Crime
Laura Linney – John Adams (HBO) — winner (Talky HBO shows continue their sweep this year. Even though The Wire was always dissed. Sigh.)
Shirley MacLaine – Coco Chanel
Susan Sarandon – Bernard And Doris (HBO)

Best Foreign Language Film
The Baader Meinhof Complex (Germany)
Everlasting Moments (Sweden, Denmark)
Gomorrah (Italy)
I've Loved You So Long (France)
Waltz With Bashir (Israel) — winner (Colin Farrell sniffles before he announced the winner. Says he's got a cold, "not what it used to be.")

Best Performance by an Actor In A Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
Tom Cruise – Tropic Thunder
Robert Downey Jr. – Tropic Thunder
Ralph Fiennes – The Duchess
Philip Seymour Hoffman – Doubt
Heath Ledger – The Dark Knight — winner

Best Mini-Series Or Motion Picture Made for Television
A Raisin In The Sun (ABC)
Bernard And Doris (HBO)
Cranford (PBS)
John Adams (HBO) — winner
Recount (HBO)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy
Rebecca Hall – Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Sally Hawkins – Happy-Go-Lucky — winner (Upsets Streep!)
Frances McDormand – Burn After Reading
Meryl Streep – Mamma Mia!
Emma Thompson – Last Chance Harvey

Best Animated Feature Film
Bolt
Kung Fu Panda
Wall-E — winner

Best Performance by an Actress In A Television Series - Drama
Sally Field – Brothers & Sisters (ABC)
Mariska Hargitay – Law & Order
January Jones – Mad Men (AMC)
Anna Paquin – True Blood (HBO) — winner
Kyra Sedgwick – The Closer (TNT)

Best Performance by an Actor In A Television Series - Drama
Gabriel Byrne – In Treatment (HBO) — winner (HBO's Dr. Hottie scores a massive upset over Jon Hamm. Which is probably why he wasn't even on hand to pick up the award.)
Michael C. Hall – Dexter (SHOWTIME)
Jon Hamm – Mad Men (AMC)
Hugh Laurie – House (FOX)
Jonathan Rhys Meyers – The Tudors (SHOWTIME)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Eileen Atkins – Cranford (PBS)
Laura Dern – Recount (HBO) — winner
Melissa George – In Treatment (HBO)
Rachel Griffiths – Brothers & Sisters (ABC)
Dianne Wiest – In Treatment (HBO)

Best Original Song - Motion Picture
"Down To Earth" – Wall-E
"Gran Torino" – Gran Torino
"I Thought I Lost You" – Bolt
"Once In A Lifetime" – Cadillac Records
"The Wrestler" – The Wrestler (Bruce Springsteen) — winner

Best Performance by an Actress In A Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
Amy Adams – Doubt
Penélope Cruz – Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Viola Davis – Doubt
Marisa Tomei – The Wrestler
Kate Winslet – The Reader — winner

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Neil Patrick Harris – How I Met Your Mother (CBS)
Denis Leary – Recount (HBO)
Jeremy Piven – Entourage (HBO)
Blair Underwood – In Treatment (HBO)
Tom Wilkinson – John Adams (HBO) — winner

· Undettered by the economy, studios are meeting NBC's exorbitant $3 million-per-half-minute Super Bowl ad fees to unveil tentpole releases like Up, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, and G.I. Joe. [Variety]
· If it did nothing else, The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet contributed the Spaghetti Cat censor photo (featured here, along with our proposed alternates that never really caught on) to the world, and for that, it will be sorely missed. [Mediaweek]
· Acquitted of murder, Sopranos and A Bronx Tale star Lillo Brancato Jr. still got ten years for burglary. [Variety]
· After the disaster that was last year's strike-and-Billy Bush-afflicted Golden Globes, the International Hollywood Junket Whores Association's annual kudosfest is back in swinging form. Who cares about world misery and the economy: Bring on the swag and 20-foot-high chocolatefalls! [THR]

The semi-glorious hardware was unveiled today at a press conference hosted by Jorge Camara, president of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. It's the statuette's first revision since 1945, trading the bowling-trophy marble base for a sleeker kitchen-counter granite and, for the first time ever, offering actual gold-plated resin Globes instead of the cheap plastic gewgaws that have lined the shelves of area pawn shops and been exchanged as white-elephant gifts for nigh on 65 years. And just because GG alumna Pia Zadora wants an upgrade today doesn't mean you shouldn't want yours this weekend, nominees. You've earned it.

• Meet the new and improved Golden Globe [The Envelope]

· There's no use crying over spilled Milk. Gus Van Sant's Harvey Milk biopic followed its early awards-season success with exactly one nomination for Best Actor candidate Sean Penn. This is more of a reflection of the HFPA's susceptibility to studio campaigns then any harbinger of future drought; if Focus Features can draw four nominations for its all-but-forgotten comedy In Bruges (not to mention two for Burn After Reading) while its plenty-lauded Milk goes virtually ignored, rest assured that both parties are satisfied with a deal negotiated somewhere along the line.

· The Dark Knight died so that others may live. As in: Had Revolutionary Road not drawn its four nominations for Picture, Director, Actor and Actress, then no fewer than two randomly selected Scott Rudin assistants would be toe-tagged right now with blunt phone-force trauma to the head.

· Alternatively, The Dark Knight died because Warner Bros. is saving its money for real awards. The studio's other prospective nominees Gran Torino and Sex and the City flailed as well. Coincidence, or ambivalence?

· Never mind the starfucking. Critical darlings and possible Oscar underdogs Richard Jenkins (The Visitor) and Melissa Leo (Frozen River) were shut out from the dramatic acting categories as well. Why? Because Leonardo DiCaprio and Angelina Jolie look better in the ballroom. Again, this means little for the Oscars, where Leo (Melissa, not DiCaprio) is a presumptive fifth nominee and Jenkins will likely lose his spot anyway to Gran Torino's Clint Eastwood — another awards-season favorite overlooked here because the HFPA couldn't get away with leaving Sean Penn off the guest list. See also: Tom Cruise, nominee for Tropic Thunder.

· James Franco is a Best Actor candidate for Pineapple Express. Clearly a testament to how totally fucking high the HFPA members were when it came time for nominations. Too bad David Frost wasn't a pot dealer; then Michael Sheen, too, could have avoided his 100th awards snub of the season in the supporting category.

· We were right about the Weinsteins. It didn't look very good there for a while, but however relentlessly lobbied-for, their eight Globe nominations — four apiece for The Reader and Vicky Christina Barcelona — are resurgent enough for us.

· "Honestly, I had no clue that these things were today. I was in dead sleep. I heard voices on my answering machine. I thought 'That's weird, somebody is yelling in my answering machine at 5:30 in the morning.' . . . It's crazy!" – Kevin Connolly, actor, Entourage

Plausibility: On a scale of 1-10, where 1 implies maximum, publicist-crafted tomfoolery and 10 implies complete sincerity, this rates a 3. Connolly made the savvy choice to leave the supporting category for lead actor this season, so he can't be too awards-ignorant.

· "I was in bed sleeping and I got a phone call." – America Ferrera, actress, Ugly Betty

Plausibility: 5. Maybe because Ferrera is such an eternal lock for this category, she could be expected to be blasé about the announcements. Nevertheless, this earns one Blake Lively eye-roll.

· "When I got a phone call early this morning, my heart dropped because I thought my nanny was calling in sick!!! I am so thrilled! It is a joy to go to work everyday and this is the icing on the cake. Congratulations to Sally [Field]!" – Rachel Griffiths, supporting actress, Brothers and Sisters

Plausibility: 3. Griffiths is a former Golden Globe winner who was nominated for this role last year. It's one thing to trot out an excuse, but quite another to add three exclamation points.

· "I was dead asleep, and I didn't know why the phone was ringing." – Marisa Tomei, supporting actress, The Wrestler

Plausibility: 4. Kevin Connolly already used that one, Marisa.

· "I live in a complete fool's paradise. I didn't even know it was Golden Globes today. I was taken aback when someone rang me to tell me I was nominated." – David Hare, screenwriter, The Reader

Plausibility: 1. The Reader wouldn't even be rushed out right now if it weren't for two mornings: today, and January 22, when the Oscar nominations are announced. Could Hare could really have shut out all the text messages from Harvey Weinstein saying, "WHERE ARE U? NEED U FOR 'READER' SCREENING AT VAN NUYS RETIREMENT HOME. TELL RUDIN 2 GO 2 HELL"? If so, we'll take those sedatives.

• Reactions to Golden Globe noms [Variety]

• JGolden Globe nominees' reactions [THR]

• Golden Globe Reactions: Brooke Shields Congratulates 'Tremendous' Tom Cruise [People]