What do we talk about when we talk about snow? Does it matter? Those are some cute dogs, right? [CLICK THEM.] It matters to the NYT's Weddings & Celebrations section, though, and thus, matters to Gawker Weddings Expert Phyllis Nefler.

Gawker Weddings Expert Phyllis Nefler has #GoneSkiing again, leaving me at the Altar(cations) with the NYT's Weddings & Celebrations in my hand. Thankfully, our J-School Embed and onetime weekend editor Hunter Walker did me a solid. Hunter, be fearless.

Sometimes, even Phyllis Nefler's gotta take a break, and she's gone skiing—skiing-skiing—this weekend. Taking her place to rock the NYT's Weddings & Celebrations is my bloggy colleague Lilit Marcus, the Nice Jewish Girl behind Save the Assistants. Lilit?

ChiChi! Joo got the yayo, mane? No boss, we got something better. The addictive shit that is the uncut NYT Weddings & Celebrations section. Our pusherman? Phyllis Nefler, moving mad weight weekly, who dips into the product just for you.

Every week, Phyllis Nefler scores the NYT's Weddings & Celebrations pages for the various Times-reading women and gay men who need their own special version of sabermetrics, and the straight men like me who deny reading them. These are Altarcations.

Are you a struggling teacher looking to really reach your students and make money? Well, just give them some blow. That's what one woman did. Now she's going to jail. Shame!

Sigh. It used to be that coke dealers would mix their product with normal, safe things, like baking powder. Well, those days are over, because they've found an innovative new ingredient: levamisole. And it will kill you.

Yeah, yeah, we all know cocaine's a hell of a drug. But did you know that coke-related deaths in Britain are up more than 50%. Heroin-related deaths are up about 25%. That's fucking scary. Don't do it! [The Sun]

Cocaine's a hell of a drug. It's the only one you blow money on, when it gets bad, blow for, and (funnest of all), blow with money. But can the government track your use on bills? Cops, man, cops! AGH!