That's good enough for Page Six!

[HYB via Animal]

Mosley, 68, brought the case earlier this month, saying the newspaper, which published pictures showing the Formula One boss being spanked by women dressed as prison guards, was responsible for a "gross and indefensible intrusion of his private life".

The News of the World had claimed Mosley was involved in Nazi-style role-playing and that the sex session was an example of "true depravity" not just harmless "hanky spanky".

Giving evidence during the case, Mosley confessed to having had a penchant for sado-masochism from an early age, but dismissed any suggestion of a Nazi fetish. He said he could think of few things more unerotic.

[Reuters]

• Heath Ledger's father proceeded with funding a nautically-themed bar in Greenpoint, in which Ledger had been a silent partner. The guy who designed Beatrice is involved. [Down By The Hipster, P6]
• Oh, hey, the Post has some John ; gossip! He wants to make a movie about poverty! Oh. Really? That's your John Edwards gossip? At least go for the obvious joke about how there will almost certainly be scenes in the film focused on the problem of unwed mothers, and Edwards sure knows a LOT ABOUT THAT, har har. [P6]
• Eliot Spitzer goes to Barton Gym on Upper East Side, people snicker, sad Spitzer leaves. [P6]
• After losing an initial court ruling, the crazy YouTube divorcée, Tricia Walsh-Smith, implied that her ex-husband Philip Smith and others at the Shubert Organization are behind a bunch of death threats. She's really inhabiting this role! [Post]
• The new backstory behind the Christian Bale assault allegations: His mother and sister wanted him to loan $200,000 to his sister, supposedly for her kids. He didn't want to give the money, and there was a fight, and the mom may have said some unkind things about Bale's wife. Then, the women say, Bale pushed and shoved them. The headline? Batman and sobbin'.
• Brad Pitt said the paparazzi BETTER stop taking pictures of his kids using their fancy "telephoto lenses." Situations involving the baby twins are private time, and will stay private time until he auctions them off to the highest bidder for celebrity magazine purposes. [LA Rag Mag]

Reports the Daily News:

According to friends, he still wonders whether Hathaway, 25, helped put him behind bars. “He was in Europe, working on a deal,” says a source. “He didn’t have to come back to New York. He knew he was being investigated. But she kept calling him, saying they needed to resolve their future. A few days after his return, he was arrested.”

Perhaps these are the same friends who recently tried to lure Hathaway back to Follieri's place to "come get her dog," lest something terrible happen to it. Hathaway is tough to reach — apparently, after dumping him, she shut down all the numbers Follieri had access to.

Everyone will probably learn whether Hathaway intentionally lured Follieri into a trap soon enough: FBI agents have supposedly seized her secret diaries. Which means (hopefully) they could turn into evidence, and thus public records.

And, eventually, into a movie script. No doubt.

[Daily News]

• Madonna heard about her brother Christopher Ciccone's tell-all book, so she emailed him "Call me." He was all, "Hello? I don’t respond to commands anymore." Besides, writing the book "was like a giant fucking orgasm." [Observer]
• The (supposed) backstory on the Christian Bale assault investigation: He was depressed about the death of Heath Ledger, and exhausted from the movie, and his Mom said "some very outrageous things about him, and his wife," according to a Mail source. Bale yelled at her but didn't touch her or the wife, supposedly. Bale also reportedly lashed out recently on the set of Terminator 4.
• Lorne Michaels, the Saturday Night Live producer, won an initial court decision against a man who keeps trying to contact him because the Long Island man claims Michaels is eavesdropping on his private conversations, "singing and/or other utterances." [Post]
• Socialites Tinsley and Topper Mortimer might get to join the very exclusive Southmampton Bathing Competition. It was in Bonfire of the Vanities and everything! Think good thoughts, so that the Tinz and her sis might some day be cordoned off from rabble like yourself. [Observer]
• Banking heir Matthew Melon promised, in writing, to pay his girlfriend and business partner $1 million if he ever did cocaine again. Now, of course, they've broken up and she's trying to enforce the contract. He was definitely high at some point! [P6]
• Actor Balthazar Getty acknowledged that he has separated rom his wife, in case the pictures of him groping Sienna Miller topless weren't confirmation enough. [P6]
• Lauren Conrad was two hours late to a paid appearance, even though there was a helicopter to ferry her to the party. [P6]
• Here's a picture of Matthew McConaughey's brand new baby. [OK!]

John McCain, you'll recall, had a very loyal wife who eagerly awaited his return from six years in a Vietnamese prisoner-of-war camp. Unfortunately, a terrible car accident left Carol McCain both shorter and fatter than the swimsuit model she had been when McCain married her. Said to be appalled by her appearance, McCain started seeing other women. He left her for a rich 25-year-old (his current wife!) after buying Carol a beach house, which turned out to be kind of a cruel gift to a woman with bum legs.

The thing is, Carol McCain blames herself for the end of the marriage, and supports her husband's political campaigns. She and others had an easier time forgiving McCain's behavior because of all he had been through in the war and the presumed emotional toll of that experience.

Edwards will not get such leniency, although it will probably noted that his life has not been without significant pain — not only is his wife battling cancer, but Edwards lost his only son Wade in a car accident in 1996, when the son was in high school.

Newt Gingrich has garnered even less sympathy for his treatment of Jackie Battley, his high school geometry teacher and first wife. As detailed in Salon in 1998, Battley bore Gingrich two daughters, put Gingrich through graduate school and stood by him over the course of two losing Congressional campaigns. So of course Gingrich had a bunch of affairs and insisted on working out his divorce from Battley while she was in the hospital recovering from uterine cancer surgery.

Gingrich, of course, went on to lead the first Republican takeover of the House of Representatives in 40 years, serving as speaker for half a decade. McCain will lead the Republican convention in Minneapolis this September. And Villaraigosa has been mentioned as a possible Democratic candidate for California governor.

And those are all guys who actually left their sick wives for other women. John Edwards' career might actually be totally fine! Oh, except for the love child thing — no one else has actually taken it that far. And the kid will make it hard for Edwards to hold together the marriage. So, actually, nevermind, John Edwards is still totally screwed.

"I decided to get going on Schooled at the Carlyle Hotel where my dad often took me for breakfast before beginning my Dalton days. The main dining room was always a power scene on weekday mornings and I’d leave feeling charged. These unique ways I sometimes began my days weren’t atypical for children who grew up in ‘the bubble’. When applied correctly, privilege cultivates intellect... I wasn’t special for the fact that I had caught Meet the Press or read so and so’s Op-Ed."

It sounds like these Dalton kids are indeed very high-minded! So what's a Dalton grad like Brill doing blogging for free about the Hamptons and C-list party-benefits?

[Essentially Emily]

• Dark Knight star Christian Bale is accused of assaulting his own mother and sister. Police apparently waited to question Bale about the incident because "it would have been wrong to have wrecked the premiere." Yes, one wouldn't want to interrupt the celebration of a fictional vigilante crime fighter with an awkward attempt to, you know, fight crime. [Sun]
• Alec Baldwin's book A Promise To Ourselves is about how the screwed up divorce and family court system made him very angry, resulting in the famously abusive voice mail he left his daughter. You know what else makes Baldwin very angry? Being rescheduled four times for an interview with Diane Sawyer about the book, just because her husband went into heart surgery or whatever. [R&M]
• Sarah Jessica Parker has an art competition show, and it's headed for Bravo. The creators of Project Runway are involved. [P6]
• Harvey Weinstein's Weinstein Co. is expanding with a full 11,000-square-foot floor in a TriBeCa building. Their credit is still good! Or at least it is with their old landlord. [Post]
• Britney Spears looks good in a bikini again, thanks to the magic of cool, refreshing cigarettes. [Egotastic]
• Madonna is taking time off from her tour under doctor's orders. Supposedly, the pop star fired two dancers and her tour manager was on the verge of walking out. "One of her closest pals says she has never seen Madonna so low." [Sun]
• Alex Rodriguez is negotiating with his wife Cynthia in New York this week to "quickly settle their divorce" and "avoid a public 'slugfest.'" Oh, good. Because one can only imagine the salacious gossip that might emerge from such a situation. [Post]
• Al Reynolds was spotted at Miami Fashion Week with a woman "who was the spitting image" of Star Jones, complete with four-inch stilettos. [Post]
• Larry Mendte, the Philadelphia TV news co-anchor of cop-puncher Alycia Lane, was charged by the feds with reading Lane's email, including during breaks from the 11 o'clock news, and presumably for also forwarding her email to various tabloids, because if low-grade email snooping alone is a federal crime this guy is one unlucky bastard. [P6]
• Miley Cyrus is interested in taking the movie role of "a lovable, lost suburban girl who descends into a life of reckless partying and promiscuity." How does Vanity Fair continue to manipulate her this way?? [Scoop]
• Fashion line Guess wants its lead model to look like Amy Winehouse. On purpose. [P6]
• Paris Hilton is maybe tired of boyfriend Benji Madden, even though she recently wanted to marry him and have his babies, according to rumor and so forth. [E!]

Beeler indicated he might not granted Smith the divorce if not for the videos.

"Had defendant not posted her videos on YouTube, a case could be made that her previous marital misconduct did not rise to the level of cruel and inhuman treatment, a claim that ironically she herself made on YouTube," Beeler wrote.

Tricia-Walsh Smith plans to appeal. But odds are the videos will be on hold for a while.

[Post]

• Jared Kushner owns the New York Observer. He also helps run his father Charles' real estate company. Charles Kushner is a convicted felon following schemes to funnel campaign donations throuh the names of real estate partners, and also because he hired a prostitute to seduce, and thus help Kushner get revenge against, his brother-in-law.
• In March 2007, Jared paraded Ivanka, daughter of famed loudmouth and Rosie O'Donnell hater Donald Trump, through the Observer offices in a suspicious way.
• In April 2007, Kushner's spokesman said the couple were just buddies, but this was irrefutably proven false when word leaked about the Observer trip, which for some reason Observer staffers had kept to themselves.
• Almost exactly one year later, Ivanka is spotted going to parties by herself. Speculation about the breakup centers on the religious issue, and also on speculation that maybe Charles wants to seem more independent and mogul-ish.
• A depressed Ivanka lost a very important online catfight.
• Now they're back together, with Ivanka pledged to maybe convert some day. No word on how the Donald took all this.

They even got back together in time to catch Dark Knight together. Something tells me that, against all odds, these two kids might make it. It's the feel-good heir-love story of the summer!

[Post]

• Cleese, 68, is in the midst of a divorce from his third wife.
• They met at a "power breakfast" in New York.
• Smiley: "We had this natural connection and became firm friends."
• Cleese: "I never thought I would be interested in somebody in marketing but she is so acute."
• Cleese took her on a European "divorcey-moon" tour arranged by his friend. Sounds sort of rebound-ey.
• Read between the lines: Smiley: "we are still getting to know each other... it is a very close, very warm friendship."
• Read between the lines: Cleese's friend on a dinner in Zurich: "I don’t think they’d had a major consummation before that, if I may put it that way."
• Cleese: "I am not sure when we’ll be seeing each other again."

In case anyone missed her point about the nature of her relationship with Cleese, Smiley updated her Facebook thusly:

The Sunday Times coverage never called Smiley a "friend," so one presumes the clarification is hers.

Oh, Veronica. At least rent Holy Grail before you put John on permanent "just friends" status.

[Mail]

(Photo via Daily Mail)

According to a tipster, Elle publisher Carol Smith signed a multimillion-dollar deal with Anne Klein to have Garcia—then an Elle staffer—do in-store appearance and promotions on behalf of the fashion brand. But Garcia refused to wear Anne Klein clothes at the appearances, because she believed it would be a "conflict of interest." This put the huge endorsement deal in jeopardy, we hear, and everyone from Elle's editor-in-chief to former Hachette boss Jack Kliger was putting pressure on Garcia to give in and wear the damn clothes to keep the customer happy.

But Garcia was stubborn! By the time her final mandatory appearance for Anne Klein rolled around, says the source, the publisher actually drove to Garcia's home and waited for her to make sure she wore an appropriately Klein-ish outfit. The entire ordeal was so outlandish that the whole staff was gossiping about it. Shortly after the endorsement deal wrapped up, Nina Garcia was fired—after Elle had made its money. Or so we hear.

In an odd way, we respect her crazily firm editorial commitment to picking her own clothes NO MATTER WHAT.

• On her new album, Britney Spears allegedly has a song called "ATM" where she sings, "Hey Mama, I know it’s my cash you seek." After being hospitalized in January and February, Spears stabilized her life and won increased visitation with her two sons, only to have her handlers push her back into various work endeavors. Point being, the song is probably more than mere celebrity whining, and I will actually purchase it on iTunes! (JUST LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE, etc.) [Mirror]
• Vogue's Anna Wintour is having another step-grandkid. But she can't enjoy this news because her intern, Sean Avery, is totally flirting with another fashion mag editrix! That's emotional cheating right there!
• Kathryn Walker is happy to talk about why she's hasn't been talking about her novel being partially based on ex-husband James Taylor. [Times]
• According to his friends, Alex Rodriguez's ex-wife is a dragon lady who hates his hispanic side, made him stop eating Spanish food and controlled his mind with her master's degree in psychology. Totally plausible. [P6]
• Singer Lance Bass is hooking up with personal trainer Sebastian Leal even though Brazil-born Leal has a wife of nine years. Sounds like a total citizenship marriage, though, so meh, whatever. [P6]
• Giorgio Armani, 74, invited Prince Caspian from Chronicles of Narnia — Ben Barnes, 26 — for a ride on his yacht. Don't eat the Turkish Delight! [R&M]
• Under pressure from doctors, Amy Winehouse has given away eight of her cats. Now she has to relinquish the final six, which are her favorites. Apparently they give her breathing problems. And I'm sure she doesn't give them breathing problems, since feline lungs are totally brilliant at filtering crack smoke. [Showbiz Spy]
• Sean Connery faces accusations he "stopped giving his son money to force him to make his own way in life." Wait, you can be accused of that? Like it's a bad thing? And people will write about it? [UPI]

Ryan Adams you fucking weasel. deal with it.858,00$
Current mood: determined

Listen this is another open letter
this to a beyond mediocre piece of shite- maybe its just my moment to fucking get the knives out of my back,
but in any case between 00 and 04 before ....well a dark pit of shit and fake names and insanity follows with lots and lots of people counting on Kookoo cherry not being able to prove things- and thats for another day- those people have not played chess with me.
But i was sitting with some people going thru the 29 american express cards that i didnt know existed that were connected to a few HUNDRED bank accounts,and there were all the bills for Ryan Adams worst record and one of the worst records i can think of in rock and roll history ironically called"Riock and Roll " and it was paid for by ME and mostly by my child.
and when i met Ryan we had a mild little flirtation, why not? but i made the deathly stupid decision to instead of just have very safe sex with him ( hes pretty dirty and man ive been around but im the virgin mary comparitevly) or make friends. no i fucking pimped my useless , ridiculaously terrible loser "Boyfriend" ( who ironically Edward Norton hates no one any more than this fuck and for good reason , yet Edwards OWN business manager put Barber up on West XXth street kitty corner from Edward, Barber could see into Edwards Apartment, and then he had his own Dean and Deluca account and an ABC Carpetand Home account and spent about 250,000 on furniture and another 600,000 dollars on travel, this loser who hasnt had a job since 98 - while Frances didnt have hardly enough to eat and i sure as hell didnt) i pimped Barber onto Ryan,"oooh hes a great producer"- maybe it wasbnt honourable0 i just wanted Barber gone, so maybe i used Ryan to get him gone,
yeah you listen to this shit im listening to my i tunes on right now who names a record "Rock n Roll" what assholes do that?

Got it? Me neither. Maybe Courtney can clear it up.

with these trebled up guitars my bandmate said sounded like "really horrific rem on steroids" all treble and compresssion and shit wirtten songs - but so what?
well on my amex atthat time the 858 but also from bank accounts....theres 200,000 thousnad dollar checks written to Barber for "comissions" ididnt even know where the fuck he was ! but here on Amex 28 is the entire invoice for Ryan- your ENTIRE album and meals and drugs and Hotels and outboard gear and wasted fabullous guitars STRAIGHT OUT OF FRANCES"S TRUST FUND
So you little shit, maybe you had NO IDEA right? is that why you used a hysterical voice mail of a very terrified and flipped out me- for your worst reviewed record and well deserved too, this record is shite totally one of the worst recordings ive ever heard yet Ryan you YOU spent 858,000 dolllars on this record of MY DAUGHTERS MONEY. so whats your paying me back plan? illbe in New York next week , you can start by working out your payment plan, because i will litiagate your thieving ass from here til eternity, your a thief and i used to think you had some subtsance to you then i find out your being managed or your money is by Victoria Blake? is that POSSIBLE? whata great PAL that lizard like cretin is t o you and i hope you had fun that week in :Jamaica" whilst more of my kids money was being shoved offshore- but thats not the point- Billy may have made my kid cry but i wasn't in the room - he's family and he always will be- he just laid his Billy trip on a person a little too young for it- I'm over it. but YOU RYAN, OWE FRANCES 858<000 dollars , so should isend the amex copies to Blake and he "staff"? because i would enjoy that very much,what a really good friend to leave you with someone whose been diagnosed as an "utter psychotic" by a professional foresnic psychiatrist.
This record sucks i mean WOW!
is this what youd like me to tell my kid a fraction of her money was stolen for this shite "Rock N Roll " cd shall i post the outboard gear and 4 seasons billls and fancy Nobu dinners, ahh so thats why you released two records at once where you getting paid a salary to let Gollum "produce" you cos we both know what a reall fucking genius that guy is, and this isnt about Gollum- hes inthe hands of the professionals, i walk away now knowing everything, all of it , its disgusting and its a fucking nuclear explosion of greed i dont think american history has ever seen but no other artist was ever involved in this scandalous vile behaviour ......but you were and i note to self; you suck on this record with your bile towards me, ande its gutless and cowardly and shit, and you know it,
Pay me back Ryan, Pay Frances back. an dtake my fucking voice off that piece of shit.

You can read the rest of the missive here, but I'd be remiss if I didn't include Courtney's sign off to Ryan: "still shooting smack? hows that going for you?"

• Britney Spears gave up custody of her two sons to ex-husband Kevin Federline, retaining only visitation rights. The singer had been showing signs of steady mental and physical improvement, so it seemed odd she'd give up her custody battle so readily. Meanwhile, Spears' handlers keep trying to nudge her into making some more money for them, already. Sad.
• Amy Poehler is leaving Saturday Night Live for a spinoff of the Office. I think it's safe to blame Chris Matthews. [AP]
• After admitting she was stung by Maxim magazine calling her the "unsexiest woman in the world," Sarah Jessica Parker had her trademark mole removed. Or maybe it had nothing to do with the stupid magazine thing and everything to do with the mole having to be digitally edited out of the Sex And The City movie, which would make anyone a touch self-conscious. [LA Times]
• The Who bandmates Pete Townsend and Roger Daltrey are supposed to do a $100 million tour but are already fighting over song selection and insisting on separate dressing rooms, hotels, travel arrangements and staff, because that's what cranky senior citizens do. [P6]
• Ryan Phillippe sent his brunette girlfriend, Australian actress Abbie Cornish, to get her hair dyed the same color as his blonde ex-wife, Reese Witherspoon — in the same salon. [P6]
• Pictures of British actress Dame Helen Mirren in a bikini: Surprisingly hot! [Daily Mail]
• Jennifer Aniston told Miley Cyrus she'd like to make a movie together. Cyrus gave a tentative OK, subject to Annie Leibovitz's approval. [Star]

• Jennifer Aniston spends $20,000 per month on beauty treatments, supposedly, including twice-a-month, $1,000-a-pop spa treatments for cellulite. All to impress John Mayer, who kissed Perez Hilton? [Enquirer]
• Actress Tatum O'Neal is paying a fine and attending two half-day drug-treatment sessions as punishment for her crack buy. Her dealer? Deported! No wonder he was saying he felt abandoned. [Post]
• Director Mike Nichols had a coronay bypass operation over the weekend and is recuperating. [P6]
• After deciding Sarah Jessica Parker was the "unsexiest woman alive," Maxim magazine is now calling her its "Unexpected Crush." Maxim is a 12 year-old boy. [Post]
• Before throwing herself at actress Drew Barrymore's ex, Justin Long, actress Kirsten Dunst followed actor Emile Hirsch to a club, by herself. [P6]
• Teen star Miley Cyrus gave a "rude hand gesture" to some paparazzi while riding a rollercoaster. But it somehow involved two fingers. One gesture, two fingers — how rude could it have been? [Showbiz Spy]
• The girlfriend of the brother of Lindsay Lohan's girlfriend Sam Ronson is "confirming" they are together. This would be what is meant by "inching out of the closet," right?? [Sun]

• Madonna did not show up to her alleged lover/disciple Alex Rodriguez's All-Star party, nor did his bitter teammates, so he hung out alone in the club with his mom and two "kabbalah buddies," including a woman spotted leaving his house the next day.
• Page Six detailed all the lies noted liar (and animal-hating monster) Paris Hilton has told them, although you never with the Post, really. One of the more bizarre ones is that Hilton smoked marijuana in front of Page Six staff and then promised to take a drug test, but never did. [P6]
• CNN's Washington, DC assignment editor is on the cover of Muscular Development, a magazine featuring guys with obscenely large muscles, and with a website hawking all kinds of, uh, "supplements." Fox News Channel's buddies at the Post think this makes him a "CABLE BULLY." [P6]
• A cat named Anderson Pooper was just named "Best In Show" on Daily Paws. And he's silver! [OMG]
• Lauren Conrad fails to bring dog to bitchfest, ends up crying and somehow flaking. [Emily Brill]
• It's not so much that Jesse Jackson thinks Barack Obama is "talking down to black people" when the presidential candidate tells black men to take responsibility for their children. It's that he thinks Obama is talking down to him, says the mother of Jackson's love child. [Enquirer]
• Cityfile, which profiles Gotham's rich and famous, is trying to take pictures of wealthy people coming in and out of their fancy apartment towers, and is getting harassed by goons and hangers-on. Genius. [P6]
• NBC Universal is eyeing new offices at 7 World Trade Center and 11 Times Square, a total of roughly 500,000 square feet. [Observer]
• Tatum O'Neal's crack dealer feels abandoned. And that's a bad thing? [Enquirer]
• Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were maybe going to name their baby boy Rex Leon? But didn't? And an embroidered play matt somehow proves that? Something like that. [R&M]
• Lord Of The Rings director Peter Jackson probably just bought a Tribeca duplex fo $17 million. [Observer]
• OK! magazine is finally showing those Jessica Alba pictures it paid so much for! Actually, $1.5 million is a bargain these days. [Sun]
• Michael J. Fox will return to TV for four episodes of Rescue Me. [Us]

When he quit as editor of the Gatecrasher column in the Daily News and left on an extended vacation, Widdicombe said he had burned out after a decade on the party circuit. He wrote: "Also lately I’ve developed a peculiar attitude towards scandal—with some of the items that have crossed my desk I’ve thought, this really isn’t any of my business. Which is problematic for a professional gossip columnist." But not as problematic as a pile of bills on Widdicombe's return from his soul-searching vacation, presumably.

Olbermann called Snow "optimistic, funny and courageous," adding, "While we could not have disagreed more on policy, we were in frequent contact, even during his days as Press Secretary."

The temerity!

...a true friend of Snow's says Olbermann had "no relationship with Tony, at all." In fact, Olbermann named Snow his "Worst Person in the World" on Jan. 9, 2007, accusing him of lying about President Bush's 2003 "mission accomplished" speech. Olbermann hissed, "You're just baldfaced lying. You were hired to lie . . . We're not all third-graders out here."

Clearly, Olbermann's parting words for Snow should have focused on their bitterest moments of disagreement rather than on what Olbermann admired about Snow. In fact, Olbermann should have included in his eulogy the phrase "worst person in the world," if only for the sake of consistency.

[Post]

• Jay Leno, on an erroneous magazine cutline reading "Host of The Tonight Show on ABC:" "It's like a headline from the future." [Deadline Hollywood]
• The bidding between People and OK! for exclusive pictures of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's twins now stands at $11 million to $12 million. Couldn't this have been taken care of previously? Or did everyone need to see how cute they were before bidding? [R&M]
• Pitt and Jolie decided the nice folks at their local newspaper in France, the 280,000-circulation Nice-Matin, should get the first news about their twins, including name, weight and gender and Pitt's first words after the birth. The paper created a special magazine insert for the occasion. [AP]
• Either Madonna has a five-point plan for saving her marriage to Guy Ritchie (including that Madonna can only work out three hours a day instead of four), or she's exploiting her rumored dalliance with Alex Rodriguez to drum up publicity for her upcoming concert tour, including by cheering the Yankees slugger at an All-Star game today. Or both!
• As reported previously, actor Josh Brolin took his role in the Bush biopic W a bit too seriously and got into a bar fight. Not reported previously: It might have been because someone used a racial slur against his co-star, who plays Colin Powell. [R&M]

In a column in Ad Age, Fuller claims to know that the A-Rod/Madonna text message affair has been going on for months. Her "own source" even witnessed Madonna enter an elevator with A-Rod six months ago! They didn't come back down for an hour!

Isn't it strange, then, that their relationship only went highly public just over three weeks ago when Madonna and her two sons turned up wearing Yankees gear and sitting in A-Rod's box at a Yankee Stadium baseball game?

Wasn't that just a couple of days after news reports had appeared saying the tickets for her upcoming tour weren't being snapped up as quickly as expected?

Yes! That makes perfect sense! Madonna entered into this affair half a year ago and has now gone public with it in order to boost ticket sales for her upcoming tour. One wonders why she didn't try this homewrecking celebrity scandal trick when she was, say, trying to boost sales of her album, but maybe she just thought she'd save the big guns for the slow July news season? This goes even deeper than you can possibly imagine!

Her supposedly "estranged" husband, Guy Ritchie, has joined her and appears to be completely in on the whole marketing plan. He's been photographed with his two sons wearing Yankee booty at Central Park in recent days. My guess is that if Madonna's marriage is almost over and out, as has been reported, it's being maintained now by two total pragmatists who have made a pact to divide the financial rewards of a successful concert tour and album sales.

As for all the kabbalah, I believe it's just a cover that's been used to give Madonna and her new conquest more private time together.

Wheels within wheels. We're through the looking glass here, people.

For our part, we wonder how the woman who practically single-handedly invented the modern Celebrity-Industrial Complex at Us Weekly and Star is now sounding like a crazy HuffPo commenter? It's probably due to some conspiracy she entered into with Madonna and the Church of Scientology or something.

Jossip says that Rosenberg saw a promo spot for a Ciccone interview, became enraged, and promptly made some phone calls to ensure that neither Entertainment Tonight nor The Insider would give his book any coverage. Considering Rosenberg's reputation for pulling strings—and her control of Madonna, a much huger bargaining chip than anything Ciccone could offer on a long term basis—it's plausible.

Now a clip of Good Morning America's interview—they're too big for Rosenberg to cow, apparently:

[Jossip]

• According to this one "firsthand, regular and up-close" source, Paris Hilton stopped drinking, because maybe she's pregnant. Or maybe she's just trying to get attention because she's jealous of Nicole Richie and her baby. [E!]
• Reggie Jackson, haggling with an artist over price: "Are you Jewish?" [Post]
• Lindsay Lohan clothing line includes "Mr. President" kneepads! [Rod Townsend]
• After getting taunted with Madonna's picture by opposing fans at a game and sl