Malia Obama's favorite band One Direction were on Ellen yesterday. Blindfolded fans felt them up, the uber-doober British boy band performed a song, and Liam Payne touched Harry Styles in the pooper. You can see it in the screenshot right there.

There's really almost nothing to be said about this except that yes, we are ashamed of ourselves. While perusing New York Social Diary's photos from the American Cancer Society's "Celebration of Life" ball (looked like a blast!), well, we noticed the couple at the far right, reenacting a prom that happened before you…