Jon Caramanica's reading of the Grammys' antiquated value system is a ferocious explanation of last night's mess.
Forget What You Heard: Ellen Staring at Katy Perry's Boobs Is the Only Grammy Moment Worth Revisiting

J.Lo joked about CBS's now-infamous wardrobe memo, but Katy Perry openly defied it — and some took notice.
Here is a Video of Famous People Dancing at the Grammys in Order of Decreasing Emotional Investment
If we learned anything from the Grammys last night it was that Taylor Swift had the best time and Jay-Z didn't really give a shit. But not everyone could identify with one of those two extremes. In fact, one might say emotional investment at the Grammys existed on more of a spectrum. So in between your Taylors…
Seven GIFs and a Video Showing How Taylor Swift and Jay-Z Won the Grammys

There are only two true approaches to being in the audience at a major televised awards show, forever in conflict: full, 100-percent commitment to having the time of your life, and full, 100-percent commitment to not giving a shit. On Sunday night at the Grammys, Taylor Swift took the first path, and Jay-Z took the…
Let's All Talk About the Grammys As We Watch Them
The 55th annual Grammy Awards, the music industry's best-catered sham, will air tonight at 8 p.m. on CBS. Let's watch them and talk about them and love them and hate them here.
Of Course, Justin Bieber's Mom Thinks the Grammys 'Blew It' by Snubbing Her Son
In a Fuse interview with pop cultural cockroach Alexa Chung (she will not go away), Justin Bieber's mom Pattie Mallette revealed her displeasure over his lack of nominations for the upcoming Grammy Awards. Just like everyone in his circle, including his own self-entitled ass, she has an issue with him being denied the…
Justin Bieber Thinks He Deserves a Grammy, Is Rapidly Becoming an Insufferable Brat
Justin Bieber has a giant chip on his perpetually shirtless shoulder. He isn't doing much press for his new Believe Acoustic album, but he did sit down with Billboard's Bill Werde for a Q&A. Werde describes him as "unfailingly polite, though occasionally he flattens himself down into a black leather couch, hands…
Can We Talk About Cee-Lo and Gwyneth Paltrow's Grammys Duet?
Tonight's Grammy Awards got much more interesting when Cee-Lo Green—decked out in some sort of rainbow-colored Liberace/Muppet/Peacock ensemble—took to the stage to perform "F*ck You." But wait! Then, Gwyneth Paltrow showed up. And sang. In Ebonics.
Watch the Awkward Wail-Off That Opened the Grammys
Tonight, the 53rd Annual Grammy Awards opened with an Aretha Franklin tribute—featuring Yolanda Adams, Christina Aguilera, Jennifer Hudson, Martina McBride, and Florence Welch—that seemed more like Divas Live than an awards show performance. Then, Aguilera took a tumble!
Lady Gaga Hatches from Her Egg to Debut "Born This Way" at the Grammys
Tonight, after what seemed like an eternal musical tribute to Aretha Franklin, the 53rd Annual Grammy Awards really got started when pop diva Lady Gaga hatched from the egg she arrived in to perform her new single, "Born This Way."
Justin Bieber's Stupid Grammy Nomination Acceptance Speech
Tonight, the nominations for next year's Grammy Awards were announced live during an hourlong concert on CBS. Unsurprisingly, Justin Bieber was nominated for Best New Artist. Somewhat surprisingly, Bieber reacted by giving a weird, seemingly pre-written acceptance speech. Watch inside.
Chris Brown Sorry About Rihanna Incident
Without admitting anything specific, Chris Brown apologized for "what transpired" with Rihanna, the girlfriend he allegedly attacked right before the Grammys. Savvy timing, jerk.
Grammy Awards Let Themselves Go, But Cling To Sexy Past
We know you, like we, have Grammy fever, with hotly contested office pools and of course a yearly themed party, replete with Victrola shaped cookies and a home-karaoke stage for guests to put their spin on all the best song nominees. It is, after all, music's biggest night, celebrating and rewarding the very best…
