Here's the story: My girlfriend moved to Connecticut from Greenpoint last year. She misses it terribly, and constantly pines for the days spent with friends in the neighborhood. So, for her birthday this weekend, on Sunday night I installed a life-sized cutout of her at the southeast corner of Franklin and Noble Streets in Greenpoint. I am asking anyone who can to go to Greenpoint and photograph themselves with the Birthday Girl, and then, email or pix message the photo to birthdaygirl08@gmail.com . Soon she will have an entire album of images of herself and many, many friends partyting in Greenpoint! I will also be uploading all images to my flickr account, so all can watch as the piece progresses.

First off, if you don't like the hair, you should probably move on, because Chris is embracing it. Here he is on "Mullet Row:"

Here's a slightly more romantic shot of the mullet after dark:

Chris, a "full time composer" with an "artsy circle of freakish friends" is not afraid to be a little avant guard with his profile photography:

The profile basics:

In addition to being a composer and cellist...

• "I love, LOVE food and alchohol."
• Chris's apartment is indeed in Williamsburg.
• "My home town is 'The OC,' and my second home is Rio di Janiero."
• "I watch Lost."
• "My favorite colors are pink and black."
• "I compose for modern dance mostly"
• "I've had lots of haircuts and colors."

If you are hungry for more, green-eyed females who drink regularly, you can check the whole profile at the link below. I really only care about the hair.

[Match]

[Photos: by Bryan Derballa via Brooklyn Kickball]

About that margarita machine: it's ten bucks for a huge Styrofoam cup of it! We love the Turkey's Nest. What other place has old men, hipsters, and Hasidic Jews watching sports?

If you can't stomach reading through the whole letter, we understand and offer highlights of the demands:

1) A four-year cash bonus
2) Keys to the bar
3) "I'm tired of bullshit from those aforementioned employees. Let them know I am one of them."
4) A laminated drink card granting free drinks, forevermore, for him and his "lady of the evening." Hey!
5) The Turkey's Nest should pay for all kickball-related expenses: "the permits, the equipment, the balls, everything." And a shed: "I'm tired of the softball leagues stealing my shit."
6) Finally, a weekly wage.

[Photo: Rachelleb.com]

As someone who's been not only playing in the league since year 2, but has been a captain all but one year, I would like to say first off that league veterans deserve no more special treatment than newbies. If someone was there on your kickball day one screwing you our of playing, you wouldn't have any games under your belt. I don't think this has been much of an issue though.

However, what I feel is and always has been an issue is this. So many people are proud to call themselves "vets" and talk about how long they've been around and that's all well and good, playing kickball is only half of what it means to be a kickballer, in my opinion. I've busted my ass as hard or harder than most people without an official title for years. I'm there just about every week picking up trash on all of the fields (and grumbled slightly under my breath every time a new field was added). I remember who was always out there with me, who would stick around when the few of us shouted that everyone should grab at least one cup on their way off the field to generally be ignored. I've carried equipment bags that weigh more than 3 dead bodies when I could barely move my legs after a long ass day, especially a special event day... especially a special event say where I end up with sun poisoning because I umped every second I was there.

So if you're a kickballer who plays every week and never misses games and is always there on tie, I don't doubt your dedication or your right to call yourselves as such. However if you've been there week after week without being asked helping because you love the park and the league as much as you love the bar and your friends then you've garnered a little more respect from me.

With lenghty (sic0 thought out on the table I would like to cover a few things.

First off, preregistration basically killed any chance a new team had to play for the next 5 weeks. If we couldn't get registered for any reason (and my team couldnt) then you're going to have to wait for a team to drop off. I don't know about anyone else, but if I paid 150 bucks to play 5 weeks, I'd be there every week, rain or shine, team or no. Where as 5% of teams would have fallen off in two weeks, there is now more powerful persuasion to be there for 3 extra weeks, if not more.

As for a waiting list. That is going to KILL new teams. The league will cannibalize them. More people will play and make friends yea, but let's be honest, not everyone is a people person right off the bat. Their nice friends will get teams right off, and they'll be left with the mourning of a team that never got to play. If the new teams on the waiting list waited and showed every Sunday to see who didn't come and if there's be a spot well, there'd be a lot of waiting. WORSE than this is the fact that, with people having paid so much money, those teams who paid without even having a full roster or who don't have committed people will run around before game time grabbing lawn candy to play with them. not only did we give teams who can't fill their roster (since we're so up on sticking to regulations this year)a huge pool to grab from, the vultures will be picking the flesh from the unfortunate teams player by player.

Sorry this is so long, but I have a good bunch to say, so if you bear through it all I super appreciate it...

I started a team. Sort of. I created a team name, and had two people on my roster who played last year and have told me specifically that they don't want to play kickball, they NEED to. I'm sure many of you can understand this. I was on that Free Agents list every damn day replying to every person on there, telling them about what I wanted my team to be, and spouting what has become the much abandoned rhetoric of the league. "It's kickball. We hang out in the park and have fun. If you want to play, just come to McCarren at 6pm on a Sunday with a team or with the willingness to find one."

I found many willing players. It's difficult to be sure that people who have enthusiasm on Myspace will still show and have the same enthusiasm on a recruitment day, but I was pleasantly surprised. This past Sunday, on the only Sunday of pre season that I could get the evening off, "the Screws" ended up with a 12 or so person team. 90% of the team was eager, excitable newbies who agreed with our team philosophy of "let's just have a good time." I have every damn Sunday and Monday off from Opening day on. I am going to be driving a U-Haul van from Ann Arbor, Michigan to help a friend move to NYC and we have to leave after Saturday before opening day. you bet your ass my plan was to head out on Saturday morning at 4am to be sure I could make it, pull the van up to the field, fall out of it, and play some fucking kickball. I had my season as well planned as I could.

Divergence aside, I could not and would not promise that I had a team and $150 anytime before I actually did. While I may not agree with the rules, they are there and I wanted to make sure those that were more prepared had their deserved place. I took as much time as I could manage to plan the team and season, but bullshitting about being able to register a team when I couldn't was beyond me. I got a call, on the field, before registration ended asking me if I could go register. I replied that I could not. I did not have the money, I had just gotten enough people to say they wanted to play with us to be happy, and had in my mind no doubt that there would be kickball for all as there always has been. Obviously I was wrong.

What I've seen and been a part of since is a shitstorm that no one, not even Commish, should have to deal with. The league is expanding. It always is, we have no reason to believe that it will ever stop doing so. But after the Kick Ball it seems that no one wanted to think about it save for maybe Kev. The solutions are all out on the table now, but the captains list was a vacant area, hell even the BKKB board was a dry well all winter long. I'm not saying I had any thought about it or had tried to raise awareness or whatever. I'm also not saying I'm above blame for this one.

I've made no bones about how I feel about pre registration. I think it's a shitty solution to a growing issue. It is a solution, and that is fine. Rules are rules, and I will abide by them, as I always have (whether or not they were put into action retrospectively). But now there are teams that cannot play as such. Friends that won't have achance to be on the same team. people who cannot play at all because they wont be able to find a spot. "first come first serve" was all well and good when it applied to the board. it just doesn't seem right when it comes to having to either lose the chance to play or bullshit your way into a spot.

This is BKKB. It's great and has always been the most fun I have all year. let's face it though, there's always a little wiggle room for people who talk the right bullshit. I'm not one of those people and it bit me in the ass. Worse yet is that it bit the 12 people who I promised could be on a team, who got excited at the notion of playing together, who met as strangers on the field and left the Nest as friends on their collective asses as well. They might make friends on a team they get onto. They might even get onto a team. But I bet you are hoping you're not the captain that has to tell them that you can't fit anymore into your roster as much as I regret having to be the one to tell them that we don't have a team.

It's easy to say "everyone who made it did the right thing" and suggest some obviously subpar solutions for those who didn't. I'm glad in a way that I didn't make it onto the list because I realize now how shitty it is to get left out. i've had offers from more than a few teams to join them and just play out the season as I always have. But now I think I'll wait and do what I can. I want to make sure everyone who wanted to play kickball get to before I step on the field. That may never happen, but at least I'll feel better about trying.It was always in the back of my mind that BKKB might to get too big for itself and no longer be the league that I loved. Meeting 90 or so new people every day was the highlight of my year.

I kind of always figured that when the whole thing became exclusive and incorporated ideas like scheduling games season preregistration (and who's to say next year you won't have to register for the entire season in advance? It may have to come to that) that I would leave it behind and find something new.

That's so much harder than it sounds, but now it seems almost inevitable. There's obviously a few more weeks to figure out something, really anything to do. However, i can already see that everyone who registered on time (despite how boastful they were the week prior about never, ever paying $150 to play kickball) is less interested in anything but supplying a self congratulatory pat on the back, a weak proposition, and never thinking about it again. there's already teams trolling the forums that I built my team out of in order to fill a roster. An already registered roster.

I'm getting tired of talking about it, i'm going to think really hard about something to do about it. but it doesn't look like I'll "see you out there." this season.

So have fun, and remember. Save up this winter, because you might get left out next year.

p.s. this was a lot longer than I expected.

Nicole Brydson from the Observer used to live in Greenpoint, and now when she goes back, she's not even the only one! Or as she wryly puts it, "I've recently found myself traveling north to Williamsburg and Greenpoint for a night out more often and apparently, I'm not alone!"

Trendwatch! SEA Thai restaurant is so bridge-and-tunnel! Greenpoint has clubs and a bowling alley! And Nicole tells us that, at long last, "with its mix of hipster residue and tragically suburban folk, Bedford Avenue finally completed its transformation into the new Avenue A." Tragic. Let's hope word of this doesn't get out to the hip young hipster crowd attending their musical shows around the neighborhood. It would make them so mad!

Having gotten fed up with all the stumblebums and glitterati roaming the streets of Greenpoint, she says she's now "totally content to return to my quiet, peaceful neighborhood" of Prospect Heights. That's cool but, is your old apartment available? I really want to get in on this Greenpoint thing before it gets spoiled!

Whether or not it is ethical to post photos of your herpes-donor on telephone poles and the internet is questionable. But so is "Drew's" behavior! "I think we have all been in the situation where we have already succumbed to this pre-sex near penetration and when a guy can't keep it up with a condom and you just want to get laid and he's like, c'mon it's basically been in you anyway, you have inevitably and against your better judgment said yes."

Ugh, indeed.

She goes on: "I am not innocent. I am partly to blame. But let's just talk about practicing versus preaching for a second. For instance... we all know that STDs can spread through oral sex. But does anyone actually give a blowjob over a condom? Really, has anyone ever done that? Has this ever in the history of sex actually happened?"

Well, no.

"And please, if anyone out there has ever seen a dental dam outside of 8th grade health class please fess up. Seriously, i wouldn't even know what to do with one of those things. Likewise, there are plenty of pre-sex moves that guys are always trying to work on you that involve all sorts of near-penetration that without a condom could spread all sorts of diseases. But we do it anyway. We all do. Don't deny it. You have let a guy rub his dick against you, not quite putting it in, but certainly loitering very very close to the goal posts."

This blog is clearly going to eliminate this kind of irresponsible behavior from Greenpoint and Williamsburg (and who knows, maybe even elsewhere in Brooklyn and quite possibly in lower Manhattan!) forever.

They were requesting the possible use of the building—perhaps the tackiest-looking place in Greenpoint—for an exterior shot for NBC's version of Bushnell's book, "Lipstick Jungle."

"The series depicts three successful, dynamic executives as they balance the myriad aspects of the professional and personal sides of their lives," the missive explains helpfully.

The building is not well-known for its successful and dynamic executives.

What was it that attracted them so—the many eagles adorning the building, or the eerie white horse heads lining the gate? Either way, NBC promised, "if selected, you will be compensated"! Well, it's almost the end of the month. Film all you want for, say, $675?

They were mostly creamy and bland. Some of them were disgusting, while others were disgusting in a good way. A favorite was called "Trypto-Fan." It was sort of like Thanksgiving dinner mushed up in a dish, but it didn't take any prizes.

The winning casserole, which will be featured on Brooklyn Label's menu for a month, is called "Cheese Love," and all that we could discern about it was that it contains a lot of cheese. Christine Onorati, owner of beloved Franklin Street bookstore Word, was stoked, but was disappointed that her favorite hadn't won. "You have to try it! It's so spicy, though, I'm warning you," she'd said earlier. We tried it and it tasted like the flavor packet from a thing of spicy ramen. Later we thought we had food poisoning for a minute but maybe it was just Casserole Fever.

From an on-the-scene report:

Last night they played this secret show at a bar in Greenpoint that I heard about at the last minute. It was totally amazing. Small room, everybody singing, smiling, horns, accordians, just an amazing feeling in the room. it was one of the best concert experiences I've ever had....I think it was the afterparty for a commercial shoot for Axe Body Spray, that's what I heard.

[Photo: ObsceneNYC/dave00327]

Well, look at that! 'Vice' is doing a public service announcement about all the nasty-ass crap that's in the air and soil in Greenpoint and Williamsburg. Not that that's news, exactly, but we do like their implication that anyone buying one of those lovely million-dollar lofts springing up in the neighborhood is just asking for a great big case of cancer. They've got the obligatory quote from the hardened longtime Greenpoint resident, who tells the camera, "If I had that type of money I would be so out of here it wouldn't even be funny." Of course, they can't resist introducing the whole thing with a quickie anthropo-cultural tour of the area: "If you've been kicked out of art school anywhere in America in the past three years you're more than likely tending bar somewhere in the neighborhood." Or pretending to, at least. —Doree

Toxic Brooklyn: The Poisoning of William Green, Part 1 of 6 [VBS.tv]

Book Keeping: Behold Jane Pratt's Legacy [Galleycat]

Polish Joke Leads To Anger Vs. Magazine [NYDN]
New Yorker Cartoon by Robert Weber [Cartoon Bank]

The triumvirate of Estrada and neighbors Stephen Szczepanek and Harrison Williams, who were also on-hand, repeatedly stated that a total moratorium was the only solution. "These concerts have ruined our quality of life," Szczepanek said. "We have to close our windows, and [even then], the glass shakes. We want all the noise to stop."

McCarren Better Barren? Nabes Want Shows Nixed [Brooklyn Downtown Star via Brooklyn Record]
Earlier: Polacks Protest Haverford Alum's 'Satire'