Here Is the Latest Bold Lie From Thomas Friedman
"I've never been a fan of global conferences to solve problems," writes floating mustache Thomas Friedman in his newspaper column today. Really?
Time to Retire, Dave Barry
I'm not "too cool" to admit that Dave Barry was funny. Dave Barry was funny. Was funny. I'm saddened to announce that Dave Barry's funny days are now over.
Alleged Hacker Threatens Albuquerque Residents: "i love you isis"
Employees at the Albuquerque Journal are still trying to figure out how ISIS propaganda threatening local residents got posted on the paper's website Thursday.
North Korea Denies Involvement in Sony Hacks, Threatens U.S.
North Korea has said that it would like to work together with the United States to prove that it had nothing to do with the Sony hacks while also threatening the United States if it refuses to cooperate with this very sincere and real invitation.
Today in the opinion section of the world's most influential newspaper, Frank Bruni writes about his family's Thanksgiving food, and Thomas Friedman writes about "news drumsticks to chew on," including the fact that Stevie Wonder recently won an award. Please try harder.
Richard Cohen Is a Real Man, Unlike All You Rapists
Richard Cohen is a dotty old racist newspaper columnist with the Washington Post and one of the worst professional opinion writers in America. More importantly: he's a man. A real man.
Sony Offline After Hackers Stole Passwords, Threatened Blackmail: Report
Sony Pictures went offline Monday after a group calling themselves #GOP hacked into the company, leaving behind an ominous demand displayed on employees' computers in New York and L.A.
David Brooks Knows Some Guys
Well-moisturized Republican David Brooks fancies himself a bit of a social scientist. Not really in the sense of like, doing science. More in the sense of "knowing some guys."
Andrew Sullivan Warns of the Radical-Feminist Plot to Seize Twitter
Self-employed former Gap spokesmodel Andrew Sullivan has been typing about the Gamergate movement again. Previously, when he weighed in, he began by telling his readers that they knew gamer culture "far, far better than I."
Just a Very Thomas Friedmanesque Explanation of Things
"We've just had a nonsense midterm election," basic bitch Thomas Friedman writes today. "Never has more money been spent to think so little about a future so in flux. What would we have discussed if we'd had a serious election?" Well? What???
Thomas Friedman's Foreign Policy Theories Based Solely on the Alphabet
Hyperconnected pontificator Thomas Friedman's column this weekend was one long extended metaphor purporting to explain the threatening nature of the Islamic State. Like The Da Vinci Code, his theory has a hidden, stupid secret.
Thomas Friedman Diagnoses National Mood Using Only a Door Handle
Chin-stroking idea muppet Thomas Friedman has written and published a nationally-distributed newspaper column again today. Has he told you his door handle story? I think you will find it very instructive.
David Brooks Columns In One Sentence or Less
I bet thinking up two new column topics every single week is pretty hard, after a while.
Mustachioed simpleton Thomas Friedman today writes about a survey showing that successful students have mentors with "a real interest in their aspirations." For Thomas Friedman's daughter's college roommate, that mentor is clearly Thomas Friedman.
Ten Celebrity Photos I Wish Hackers Would Leak
The recent flood of leaked celebrity nudes was a number of things: Gross, sad, frustrating, eye-opening. And, finally, somewhere down the list, it was: BORING.
Thomas Friedman Has Some Baffling Metaphors to Share With You
Mustachioed CEO-whisperer Thomas Friedman is a bit of a savant when it comes to the Middle East. So yes, now that you ask, he does have some thoughts about ISIS. Some... kind... of thoughts.
Thomas Friedman Assures You He Knows About Important Stuff
Lost child Thomas Friedman enjoys few things more than penning a good ol' paean to a hyperconnected corporation. Yet Thomas Friedman also has a reputation to maintain— as a person that dumb people think is a smart foreign policy thinker. What happens when these two things clash?
"Penis Penis Penis" Message Floods Tweetdeck as Hackers Spam Users
Tweetdeck got hacked Wednesday morning.
Thomas Friedman Learned a New Shape
Reassuringly cuddly platitude coiner Thomas Friedman is a very respected and influential interpreter of world events. Not for his insight into these events, but for his ability to make up a name for them that his fans—children—can understand.
