Jut ask the fellow at right in the picture above, snapped by Web developer Sean Percival on Oct. 31. It's an impressively faithful likeness of Rose's unintentional BusinessWeek pose. Rose, for his part, has a sense of humor about the costume, which is impressive, given that his unprofitable company is still waiting for its long-promised payday, and that his cover picture is now apparently a cultural icon of an absurd tech-bubble thinking.

(Right pic above by Sean Percival)

Yes! Tomorrow's that whole "Fall Back" holiday where you used to see the little square at the top of the newspapers with the leaves "falling" "backwards" to signify that tomorrow night at 3:72 AM, you set your clock back an ENTIRE HOUR. #GameChanger. America will now have an extra hour of industry, an extra hour of possibility, an extra hour to come to terms with the fact that we will never get to use that little square on the newspaper anymore because print is dying and our phones/clocks/computers now know to do this for us. It's an hour to make up for the fact that we invented things that make life easier in ways sometime we wish it weren't. [Ed. And an extra hour for you to GET YOUR FIRST POST UP ON TIME.]

But really, it's an hour to sweat and drool out all the Bourbon most of us are about to put our faces into if you haven't already started. Life will get an hour better, except for you treasonous fucks in Arizona, who don't observe Daylight Savings time. Sucks. To. Be. You. Oh, also, we get plunged into darkness about five hours earlier, and if you live in New York, you're never gonna see the sun again on a workday for another five months. Eh. Win some, lose some. We don't need no stinkin' sunlight. There are no cats in America. Etc.

So: what'd you dress up as? Sadly, my Lady Gaga Penis Investigations costume fell through, so I'll be attending tonight's $255,000.00 VICE party wearing the costume of an overworked, cracked-out blogger. I'll also be on the job with Party Crash photographer Mo Pitz, who you may remember from our last adventure together. That was fun. This will be funner. Because if you're the crackheads at VICE who are spending a quarter mil on a party...in Brooklyn...how do you spend it? Oh. We're gonna find out.

Also, Altarcations, tomorrow, 2:30. And another nice surprise: we're sending one of our patented Delta Force Interns on a Black Ops mission tomorrow evening to get some video. That'll be fun.

See you in November! Until then, the scariest song in the world will carry you creatures into the night:

Vampires are the worst. They're not evil-evil, anymore. They've been rendered powerless by True Blood and Twilight and now, The CW's The Vampire Diaries from fucked-up, baseless monsters who are honoring a timeless tradition of being terrifyingly rapey psychopaths who do nothing but sleep and kill, into very, very, very pretty people who are super-horny about their weird fetishes and yeah, I guess they want your blood, but what they really want is your girlfriend, homie. If you put fangs on everyone in The O.C. and set it a little further east, all it would take now is one "Welcome to the Transylvania, Bitch" to set off a cultural touchstone, now. It's cheap, stupid bullshit. Vampires—male and female alike—have been castrated of their fear-factor. Christopher Walken performing "Poker Face" is scarier than Twilight, the most famous vampire franchise of our time. Hell, Twilight fans are scarier than the vampires in Twilight. Just ask Robert Pattinson.

In this month's GQ, Tom Carson penned a essay sharing my distaste for what now passes for scary, compelling, and sexy, titled (naturally) "There's A Sucker Born Every Minute." While he enjoys True Blood for what it is, Carson closes by arguing that even zombies, undead as they are, are a smarter buy than vampires:

No wonder the bloodsuckers' main competition in pop circles is a renewed craze for zombies, the ultimate fantasy of mindless egalitarianism turned comic nightmare. Funny enough, they were always American: Defined a scant forty years ago by George A. Romero's Night of the Living Dead, they could be the only genuinely original contribution to monster lore we've ever made. As a given-we may be dumb, but we've got working brains-zombies feed on their superiors. But I can't think of a vampire tale in which that's been true, which is the sickest reason we can sneakily imagine ourselves being one. Not exactly a pretty picture of our secret lives in 2009, is it? Go vampire or go zombie, America: It's your choice. Just don't say this great country doesn't offer you one.

Remember when teenage girls loved the Backstreet Boys in a narrative where Lou Pearlman was the villain? Anything that can remotely make those seem like The Days absolutely blows. Vampires are not the new gays. Vampires belong nowhere near the word "tampons." Vampires should not be a clever narrative eye-wink joke to those who adopt them as "bloodsuckers." Vampires are the most boring, dumbed-down, unsexy, overplayed, ridiculous narrative device out there. This used to be the stuff of good literature! Holler back, Vampire Archives scholar Otto Penzler:

All (teenage girl Twilight fans) are in love with the vampire. Why is that? Because he's cool. He has got good manners. He's good looking. He's thoughtful of his girlfriend. Whereas most teenage boys are lame. They're at the mall with their baseball caps on backwards and they act like idiots. Girls are looking for someone a little more sophisticated and a little cooler.

Right, well, that guy doesn't exist in 8th grade. And soon, when Twilight fans grow up, they'll realize that vampires' sense of "romance" was just the long-con to get in their pants; male, female, doesn't matter. But forget the perceptions, forget the implications on teenagers, forget the literary device. Forget all that stuff. There are just better stories out there. Bottom line. We've got better scaries in Rabbi Boteach and Glenn Beck and 3/4ths of Murray Hill past 2AM on a Thursday night than any vampire can ever give us.

Give me a break. Vampires are fuckin' stupid. I hope they die. Forever.

Eaten by a shark? Check. Deadly alien? Check. Killer Snowman? Check. Creature crawling out of the fridge to pull you in? You betcha! Gore-obsessed video intern Brad Clark scoured countless horror movies to find the most creatively campy, disgustingly delirious, and just plain shitty ways to die and condensed it to under a minute. Now you have your whole weekend to do productive things like make a costume or figure out how to put razor blades into apples. You're welcome.

The films these moments came from are:
Deep Blue Sea
Chopping Mall
Final Destination (A whole bunch of 'em)
Friday the 13th Part 8
Scanners
Deadly Friend
Dead Alive
Nightmare on Elm Street 5: Dream Child
Jack Frost
From Beyond
Ichi the Killer
Slither
Cube
Day of the Dead
Parasite
House of Wax

Not exactly all of them, but a whole bunch. It was like watching our nightmares come true on Live with Regis and Kelly. Daytime's dizzy duo do a bunch of really ornate and totally uninspired costumes for Halloween every year. Because it's 2009, they chose the Gosselins, The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Lady Gaga (with a Susan Boyle). If that wasn't bad enough, their producer, Michael Gelman, made a guest appearance as Balloon Boy. Yes, all of those were on the list. For people who are going to put a ton of time, money, and effort into the execution of their costumes—and these are professional-grade turkeys—why not spend a little bit longer on the concepts and make that Mad Men John Deere lawnmower incident come to life?

The only acceptable exception to our list would have been if sometimes guest host Anderson Cooper showed up dressed as his favorite Real Housewife, NeNe Leakes. Now that is a frightening bit of unoriginality that we can endorse!

So I'm going to propose a fun little diversion for us to participate in before and during tonight's live blog (which, as always, happens in the comments section below, when the show gets underway on Lifetime at 10 Eastern). In the comments section, please describe any Halloween costumes you plan to create/wear this weekend, and I'll post a selection of some of more interesting or funny ones in next week's live blog post.

Also, if you're so inclined, e-mail a picture of yourself in your costume to me by clicking here (between now and next Tuesday). I may include a link to a selection of those pictures in next week's post as well. Just be sure your face is obscured in any picture you send me if you want to remain anonymous. Depending on how many pictures I receive, I may even turn it into some kind of "Project Halloween" contest and ask folks to vote for a winner.

I'm guessing that would be a blast because, as I mentioned above, you're a witty bunch. As evidence of that, click here to read a selection of some of my favorite comments from last week's live blog. But don't do that just yet, because I've spun my little preview DVD from Lifetime and have the following "sneak peeks" to share regarding tonight's episode:

• Christopher will describe his time so far on Project Runway as follows: "Congratulations, great work, fantastic, stunning …. sucky, we hate it, we hate you, you're fat." That's actually a pretty apt summary (except for the "fat" part).
• Logan will say: "Irina has the nickname ‘Mean-a-rena' for a reason." Hey Logan, you have the nickname "Fug-Clothin' Logan" for a reason too.
• Althea will accuse Logan of stealing her ideas. Talk about petty theft!
• The guest judge is actress Kerry Washington who, according to IMDB.com, is part Native American. Maybe Bob Mackie can design her one of these.

Ok, time to get tricking and treating, kids. See you down in the comments!

[Image via Getty]

"DC Journos Talk Halloween Costumes." Fantastic. George Stephanopoulos says his daughters "are pushing for me to be a pizza deliveryman!" They weren't talking about Halloween, dude.


John Koblin says that Conde Nast has no plans to reduce the frequency of any of its monthly magazines. Good news for magazines still publishing, and the staffers still employed at those magazines.


France! Look what they're doing there: Giving free yearlong newspaper subscriptions to 18-24 year olds. Maybe French papers will learn from the USA by hiring a bunch of consultants to come in and retool their papers until they appear indistinguishable from US Weekly in order to appeal to these valuable younger readers. It worked for us!


A tipster has sent us the menu for tonight's "GQ dinner." (What dinner? We're not sure. Let us know). Here it is:

WHEN:
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
7:00 PM - 11:00 PM

WHERE:
The Edison Ballroom
228 West 47th Street, New York City

Flowers:
OVANDO, New York City

Chef:
Mina Newman

Menu:
FIRST COURSE
Arugula, Endive and Radicchio Salad with Shaved Parmesan
SECOND COURSE
Miso glazed Bronzino with Parmesan Risotto Cake
Grilled Filet Mignon with Grilled Asparagus and Scallop Potatoes
Recommended pairing: Stella Artois
DESSERT
Passed at Ketel One vodka After Party
A mix of mini cannolis, petit fours, fruit tarts

If you want to show up at a party wearing something totally unique—unlike the hordes of Balloon Boys, Gosselins, and zombies—here are a few inspirations for you. Not everyone may get it, but if you have to explain it, that's a great way to meet people. See, we're here to make sure you look good and get laid. How servicey is that!

All but one of these ideas came right from you, the readers, and we just stole them from the comments of our last two Halloween posts and fleshed them out a bit. Thanks for the effort, and sorry if we ruined your concept by putting it out there for the world to copy.

Think you can do better? The comments are open!

Costume: McKinsey Executive
What You'll Need: A power suit, covered in fake blood. Old copies of Gourmet, Cookie, and Domino with a knife through them.
Works Best For: Media Insiders, those collecting severance from Conde.
Recommended By: Former English Major

Costume: Ernie Anastos the Fox New York anchor who coined the phrase "Keep Fucking that Chicken."
What You'll Need: A suit, and a whole raw chicken, attached to the crotch of your pants. To go that extra mile, get some bad face work done.
Works Best For: Carnivores, men.
Recommended By: HamburgerHotdog

Costume: Glee's Sue Motherfucking Sylvester
What You'll Need: A short blond wig, a track suit, a whistle, a protein shake, no uterus, and a ton of bitch quips.
Works Best For: Lesbians, gay guys, theater dorks, Gleeks.
Recommended By: NotSewFast

Costume: John Fitzgerald Page, the worst person in the world
What You'll Need: Just like BettyCrocker said, "'80s prepwear (yellow suspenders, cufflinks shaped like $$) and a total lack of self-awareness."
Works Best For: Gawker diehards, frat boys.
Recommended By: BettyCrocker

Costume: Mary Murphy, the exuberant judge on So You Think You Can Dance
What You'll Need: Fake tan, a brunette wig, a tacky outfit, a loud scream, and a miniture "hot tamale train" to circle your head.
Works Best For: Reality show fiends.
Recommended By: Spirit Fingers

Costume: Anna Wintour in line to see the The September Issue
What You'll Need: Tight jeans, loafers, Fashion's Night Out T-shirt, sunglasses, bob wig. Bonus points for a snake coat or bringing a friend dressed as Grace Coddington to laugh at you.
Works Best For: PR girls, skinny people, those with a mean glint in their eye.
Recommended By: Brian Moylan

[Image via Getty]

Park's work explores the "increasing banalization of plastic surgery." Judging from her YouTube, it's only a matter of time before freaky body LEDs end up in Halloween costumes, horror movie wardrobes and, who knows, maybe in some sort of cosmetic body implant. People are talking these up as a Halloween costume, but Park's personal website is down, so you may be out of luck — this year.

Do you still need proof of how many other Balloon Boys you'll run into if you go through with your oh-so-original-and-topical costume idea? There's a company that want to rush you a Balloon Boy costume. If you want to be one of the legions wearing this thing — and can't find any mylar and hangers laying around — it will only cost you $20 and your dignity.

And since we've had some time to think about it (and some great suggestions from the commenters) we came up with some more outfits that you shouldn't bother getting together unless you want to be dressed like everyone else.

Lady Gaga
Why Not: We love her dedication to her look, but no one can do Gaga like Gaga. Plus, half of gay New York has already bought all the cheap wrap-around sunglasses to encrust with rhinestones, so it's going to be hard to pull off. And Gaga never looks the same twice, so there isn't one iconic look. No, you do not get bonus points for attaching a dildo to your costume and going as Lady Gaga's penis.
Safe Alternative: Madonna
What You Need to Make It: Madge from any era is a timeless costume. It will work every year. The easiest look to pull off would be from the red-haired, purple-leotarded Confessions on a Dance Floor era, but it will be a little dated. Just give a friend a unibrow and some '80s togs and you have your own Lourdes Leon accessory!

The Gosselins
Why Not: Kate Gosselin wigs are already sold out, and going as dumpy Jon in Ed Hardy with a cigarette hanging out of your mouth isn't very inventive either. People will just mistake you for a frat boy who didn't bother dressing up for Halloween. Also: since these two entered the public consciousness as a joke, making fun of them isn't subversive. It's hive-inducing.
Safe Alternative: Grown-up, fucked-up Gosselin kid
What You Need to Make It: There are so many ways you can take this. Maybe dress up as an attention-craving porn star Hannah. Maybe a washed-up junkie Joel. Psycho, straight jacket twins Mady and Cara? Yes and yes. Let your imagination run as wild as these kids will be living in about 10 years.

Any Real Housewife
Why Not: There are plenty to choose from, but there will be packs of girls and gays who are going to get together and do this as a group. We even heard of an entire party themed around the Real Housewives of Atlanta. Besides, on Halloween some fake tits, tight dress, blond wig, and a bad attitude won't make you stand out.
Safe Alternative: Kim Zolciak's wig
What You Need to Make It: Take a whole lot of cheap blond weave hair, and just glue it to some clothing. Be sure to buy a cheap wig to wear on your own head, and some red lipstick. But be careful, I like this idea so much, I might steal it for myself.

Every year there are a bunch of people who all decide to take something topical as inspiration for a "witty" outfit. We have a good idea what they'll be this year, and you should check yourself before you scare everyone. So, to avoid the great Borat outbreak of 2006 or the Dark Knight/Joker takeover of 2008, here are some pop cultural outfits that you definitely want to leave in the costume shop if you don't want to run into several dozen other yahoos wearing the exact same getup.

Sarah Palin
Why Not: It was a bad idea last year. It's even worse this year. Besides, while everyone who doesn't race snow machines is still trying to forget her, you'll just be helping her sell books.
Safe Alternative: Levi Johnston
What You Need to Make It: This is a boy's only costume. All you'll need is a nude body stocking (or a pair of briefs if you're bold) and attach a vintage copy of Playgirl to the crotch. Bonus points for carrying a baby and/or a bag of pistachio nuts. If you have a friend who will dress up as Tank Jones, your look is made.

Max from Where the Wild Things Are
Why Not: This would have been cute a year ago, but now that the movie's out, everyone's going to try to replicate it. You can do better than that.
Safe Alternative: H.R. Puffinstuff
What You Need to Make It: You're going to need a whole lot of paper machine, fabric, paint, and time to do this other retro children's hero up right, but it will be a huge hit.

Summer of Death Celebrities
Why Not: No, it's not too soon, it's just not very creative. So yes, that means no Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Patrick Swayze, Ed McMahon, Billy Mays, or any of the others we've lost recently. It's not edgy, just lazy.
Safe Alternative: Elizabeth Taylor or Kirk Douglas. They're not dead yet, but they could be any day. Go as the next dead celebrity.
What You Need to Make It: For Dame Liz, a wheelchair, a crazy hat, and some White Diamonds perfume. For Kirk, a cleft chin, a tuxedo, and disappointment in your son, Michael.

Zombie/Vampire
Why Not: Because every movie, TV show and book these days is about one or the other. Every teenage girl and boy is going to be rocking this, so you'll look like you're trying too hard to be down with the youngs.
Safe Alternative: A banshee. They are so the monster of 2010.
What You Need to Make It: Long hair (a wig will do), a long white gown preferably tattered, and a loud shouting voice.

Balloon Boy
Why Not: This is going to be popular because it will be easy to rig together and everyone will think it's funny and current. It's neither. And let's hope that in 11 days this story is officially over.
Safe Alternative: The old man from Up.
What You Need to Make It: Square glasses, grey hair, a sweater vest. Attach a bunch of baloons and a cardboard cutout of a house to your back and it's up, up, and away.

Don Draper from Mad Men
Why Not: Just because you put on a suit, a pocket square, and slicked down hair, you are not Don Draper. Everyone will know that you came up with this at 2pm on October 31 and probably never even watched the show. It is also not an excuse to drink and smoke a lot. Just do that on your own.
Safe Alternative: British Guy from Mad Men. You know, the one who got his foot run over with a lawn mower.
What You Need to Make It: An antique John Deere, a bloody stump, and several blood-sprayed onlookers with a shocked look on their faces. It's disgusting and creative. Perfect for Halloween!

[Image via Getty]

"ALM needs to be shamed," writes a desperate media employee drowning in the stank hellhole that is his office. Read and marvel at the depths to which what was once Steven Brill's prize jewel has sunk

OK. I got over, sort of, our furlough week (the unpaid vacation we all had
to take). The ever changing company name unnerves, but I'm a peon. As long
as the paycheck clears my money could come from the South Carolina GOP and
I wouldn't care. But this company has pushed me over the edge today. For
some reason I work with men who think it's cool to leave their reading
material in the bathroom. As the day moves on the bathroom is filled with
printed articles from ESPN and a few newspapers. Occasionally the stuff
left is work related. Only occasionally. All of this is left on the floor
as if the restroom is the private world of these media giants. And don't
get me started about seeing the number of people who walk out without
washing their hands!

Now I know you probably think I'm some neat freak who counts his paper
clips. I'm not (394 in case in you are wondering), but come on! Are we such
bottom media feeders we can't respect our co-workers, wash our hands AND
throw out our bathroom readings? Are we so ashamed of writing about lawyers
(shudder) that we forget courtesy to the person in the next pod?

Shame us Gawker. Tell us what slobs we are and to pick up our game. Point
to other media companies where this behavior is frowned upon. Remind ALM
employees that washing your hands is probably a good thing. Tell us the
restroom is not our home bathroom and to stop treating it as such! Please.
You are my last hope.

The restroom is not your home bathroom, ALM employees. Shame on you.


Irresponsible members of the liberal media at the Boston Globe published and disseminated to the public a suggestion for a Halloween pumpkin design that "called for decorators to create a pumpkin with a three-foot flame." After a stern warning from the fire marshal, the paper has removed the suggestion from its website. Score one for law and order.


Nifty: The Toledo Blade is offering $1 subscriptions to the unemployed. Since the unemployment rate in Toledo is one million percent, this should just make the Toledo Blade fold faster than ever. But, nice gesture.


A tipster sends more info on yesterday's layoffs at Glamour:

they let go two of the most beloved, smartest and most hard-working deputy editors, both of whom had been there around a decade. people left behind wonder how the magazine will even get printed without these two women.
also lost:
an accessories associate
fashion credits editor
articles editor
what most would agree were the best photo editor and the best graphic designer
a production director
and others
yikes
layoffs seemed very political...though the word was "reorganizing"...

[Bathroom pic: Flickr]

Purgatorio is a three-level nightclub that is brilliantly conceived and elegantly executed. Every nook, cranny, hallway, and bathroom is designed with the theme in mind and no detail has been over looked. However, it is kind of like partying in the world's classiest PATH train station, because the crowd is the worst in New York. Guys in untucked button downs and their girlfriends drunkenly wobbling on heels that are too high and in tops that are too tight abound. Even at the VIP opening reception, things weren't any better. Overly boozey broads caused trouble in the stairwells while the well-heeled and hip tried to stay out of their way.

The clash was even evident in the night's celebrities. Official host Perez Hilton may have been a draw for the targeted crowd, paying $39.99 and up, but he couldn't get celebrity guest Jude Law to hang out with him.

And it's a shame that the crowd may turn people off to the joint, because it is really something to behold. Viewers enter through a Victorian-themed funeral parlor that is staffed by a bunch of freakish-looking extras from the last Addams Family movie. They are then transported down to hell, the venue's first level. The path is one of the scariest and brilliant things I've ever experienced. In hell, a lounge-themed bar full of ghouls and gorgeous girls, a creepy show awaits before everyone graduates to Purgatory above. It is like the world's classiest S&M club, full of raunchy go-go dancers and several vocal and acrobatic performances. Attendees are then free to travel up to Heaven, a space dominated by a gorgeous chandelier looking device and dirty dancers dressed as angels. There's also an outdoor lounge for smokers and such with a great view of the Midtown skyline. There is nothing about any of it to improve upon, except the door policy.

Hammerstein and Weiner, the pair behind Lower East Side hotspot The Box know something about creating a unique space that is full of provocative performances. They also know something about the velvet rope. For the few who can get past the doorman at The Box, they'll find a paradise of beautiful people, crazy acts, and a devil-may-care attitude that is far too wanting in post-Guilliani hot spots. If The Box is a high end restaurant, then Purgatorio is that same restaurant during Restaurant Week, when it's more affordable and open to the rabble.

And isn't that the problem with Halloween in general, when the zombie denizens of the city's nightlife are forced to cede their exclusive realm to the spirits of girls in slutty costumes and the boys trying to get them drunk and out of those tiny little outfits? It's become an even bigger amateur night than New Year's Eve, and no matter how classy you may be, you're going to have to make room for the less qualified.

[Image via Getty and Thom Kaine]

In the clip above, Tina says that while she was doing the Bazaar shoot she thought, "Yeah, I look like this!" ... then they turn the wind machine off.

Below, she explains that her daughter is now old enough to pick her own Halloween costume, so the days of stuffing her in a ham sandwich costume and laughing at her are over. Tina doesn't want her to go as a "Barbie butterfly princess," but at least she doesn't want to be one of the Girls Next Door.

She got nine months in jail. Which is not too bad, considering all that stuff she did, allegedly. KSL.com reports:

The 22-year-old pleaded guilty in August to third-degree felony forgery, two misdemeanor counts of issuing a bad check or draft and one misdemeanor count each of attempted forgery, attempted identify fraud and attempted issuing a bad check or draft.

Ferrell on Friday was given credit for 132 days she already served behind bars. She also was ordered to pay a $1,000 fine and $4,194 in restitution.

Bucky Turco notes that she actually beat one of her charges. Way to be! We don't know whether Kari will get time off for good behavior, but either way she should be free before Valentine's Day—just in time for our Win a Date With Kari contest.

But ex-cons need jobs. What's next for Kari? Yea, she can try the blogger thing, and maybe sell her story as a tell-all, or try to squeeze some money out of someone for a TV interview. But realistically that's not going to make her rich. Expand the book idea, hmmm? She can write a guide to picking up hipsters, or something. Tell men how to get hipster women. And how to tell if they're grifters! Get it at the Barnes & Noble checkout racks all across Middle America! Who else is better positioned to explain the young artsy coastal elites to citizens of Utah-like states? Build your brand, Kari! Build your brand!

Email us and we'll help. Also, stop all the crime stuff. That's mean.

[Oh and FYI Hipster Grifter Halloween costumes are one of the very coolest ones you can wear this year, according to TONY. Make a note! Nerd.]