10.Ambrel. Halloween photo #2676: I tend to find the hipster photoblogs to be - somewhat ironically - less frightening around Halloween, because it's the one time of the year where EVERYONE is dressed up in ridiculous costumes, which sort of takes the shock out of seeing some naked dude who's painted his entire body neon pink and has a giant glowstick hanging out of his ass just because its a Wednesday night. Which is why I've got to give it up to the couple on the right in this picture for STILL managing to scare the fucking shit out of me.

9.The Cobrasnake. October Octupus photo #1185: This guy actually went out of his way to dress himself up as a fashion-handicapped child molester whose entire life revolves around taking point-and-click pics of wasted scenesters? This is esentially a costume of a costume, or what it would have looked like if MC Escher drew stuff that was retarded.

8. Ambrel. Halloween photo #2554: Um, I'm not really getting this one. Slutty Incognito Girl Who Shits Hair?

7. The Cobrasnake. October Octopus photo #0551: Ok, time for a fun holiday game called "Hipster or Halloween Costume?" Is this a person who is dressed up for Halloween, or is it a messy-haired hipster who chose to leave the house in a wolf jacket and big silly glasses just for the hell of it? ANSWER: Trick question! It's a guy whose Halloween costume IS a Hipster, bearing a pretty decent likeness to our old friend Kid's Meal. At least that's what I think he's doing.

6. Ambrel. Paper Nightlife Awards photo #2251: So I heard The Cobrasnake won "best nightlife photographer" in Paper's annual awards show recognizing NYC "Nightlife" and the comically-deluded sense of importance of the people who are a part of it. Nikola, if you're ready to get serious about this whole hipster photography thing, I recommend you cool it with the "artful, aesthetically-pleasing pictures" stuff, invest in some fannypacks, and start taking some poorly-composed snap shots of high school girls on heroin nodding off into their pizza.

5. Nicky Digital. All Hallow's Madness @ Judson Church photo #62103: Reenacting your own birth is not only a creative Halloween costume, it's also a great way to come to better terms with hating your parents for everything that is now wrong with you.

4. Last Night's Party. The Beautiful photo #9811: I don't even think this is a costume. I think Carl the Guy Who Sadistically Tortures And Kills People Then Buries Them In The Crawl Space Under His House only leaves his demonic blood dungeon once a year, on Halloween, because it's the one night he can be who he is.

3. Nicky Digital. All Hallow's Madness @ Judson Church photo #62208: Ok, "Hipster or Halloween Costume?" Round 2! Is this a group of friends dressed up in 80's Zombies costumes, or are these hipsters who just can't fucking get enough face paint and neon clothing? ANSWER: Hipsters! The people in this picture are actually the members of an unsuccessful indie rock electro-dance band called Disco Is Dead.

2. Ambrel. Paper Magazine Nightlife Awards photo #2271: I was actually supposed to cover the Paper Nightlife Awards for Gawker again this year, but had another thing come up that I felt was more important (turned out there was a marathon of MacGuyver re-runs on TBS that night) and ultimately couldn't make it. So you can imagine the disappointment and regret I felt the next day when I looked at this picture and saw exactly what I had missed.

1. Ambrel. Halloween photo #2683: Whatever, EVERYONE went as a Slutty Rape Victim this year.

Here is who we saw:

I was shopping yesterday Park Slope on 5th Avenue and almost every clothing store was out of candy at 6pm!! How is it possible for stores to sell sweaters for $400 and spend so little on candy for local kids on Halloween? I specifically remember Diane Kane had none, and the store owner two doors down from Diane Kane was complaining that she spent $25 on candy and it was all gone at 6pm. $25 is nothing! Ironically, Beacon's Closet had someone in front of the store giving away TONS of candy.

does anyone happen to know why several dozen police officers and at least two ambulances — all with sirens blaring — converged on 5th avenue between president and carroll st. at around 8.30pm halloween night?

i overheard someone in the crowd saying that two men were fighting, the cops tried to break it up, and one of the men started fighting with the cops. but i came upon the scene about 60 seconds too late to figure it out for myself.

Halloween Night Disturbance: 5th Ave and President [Park Slope Forum]

NIGHTLIFE Halloween Nightlife Decathalon

How many parties can you hit tonight? There's The Onion's comedy bash at Union Hall in Park Slope, with the indie rockers Cassettes Won't Listen and a slew of comedians from the Adult Swim show "Lucy, the Daughter of the Devil;" expect a lot of pasty white dudes. There's the Night of the Coney Island Dead at the Brooklyn Lyceum, with burlesque dancers and performances from Nellie McKay; expect a lot of sexy shimmy. Theater for the New City, which first started holding the Village Halloween parade 31 years ago, now has its own event, with jazz and Latin bands and a costume contest; expect theatricality. And there's Swalloweenie at Stain Bar in Williamsburg, which involves bobbing for hot dogs. Do not expect buns.

Urban Eye [NYT]

And here, in the most psychotic graph EVER CREATED, ARE ALL THE REST OF THEM.

Click to enlarge, IF YOU DARE! THE DEAD WILL RISE AND WALK AMONGST US IN "GIRL'S POODLE JACKET" AND "WONDER WOMAN (TODDLER)"! HAIL SATAN!

Buried Alive begins with a terrifying darkness, the sound of staccato breathing, spurts of weeping, and the horrifying screech of fingernails against metal. Someone is buried alive. Rick, a handsome, 20 year-old, is just one of the victims trapped in a coffin. Illuminated in the darkness by the flame of a cigarette lighter, the details of the scene come into focus as a night-vision camera, embedded in the corner of the coffin, captures his every move. On his left, an ominous warning: SAVE YOUR BREATH.

Buried Alive [Sony Pictures]

Obviously, the strippers know to be on their best behavior when dealing with such special children. "I'm not going to be inappropriate or exposed," one (totally hot) dancer said. And the parents understand too! Everyone is understanding!

"As long as they keep their clothes on I don't see the problem," said Aileen Reyes, 36, of Park Slope, mother of Hunter, 10, and Taylor, 6. "As long as they dress as witches - not sexy witches - my 10-year-old can go."

The Scores dancers are thrilled for the opportunity to give back to the community, especially after their attempts at raising money for 9/11 Orphans and Police Widows were met with refusals. After widows and orphans, Park Slope children are obviously some of the most deserving subjects for charity in the city.

Scores strippers help pass out candy at Halloween carnival [NYDN]

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

We'll pass the winning entry along to Jules. You're free to offer your write-in suggestions in the comments, but let's not be predictable and go with some permutation of "a vulva." You people are better than that. Think out of the box.

Here's our second-favorite passage:

I was jealous in life. I admit it. I would admit it to her. But it was because of my connection to her. I would explain that. When we held each other, I had no past at all, no present but her body, no future but to lie there and not let her go. I was an egg hatched beneath her crouching body, I entered as a chick into her wet sky of a body, and all that I wished was to sit on her shoulder and fluff my feathers and lay my head against her cheek, my neck exposed to her hand.

And then the cracker [as the parrot has dubbed the lover, who is also described as having "a thick Georgia truck-stop accent" ] comes around the corner. He wears only his rattlesnake boots. I take one look at his miserable, featherless body and shake my head. We keep our sexual parts hidden, we parrots, and this man is a pitiful sight. "Peanut," I say.

Reich & Wrong [NYP]

[I]t's days like Halloween on which I think Ann wonders how she got from a journalism degree and two LA-area Emmys to a job that requires her to parade around in a Cher costume, exposing her bits (toned though they may be) in a spangly spandex jumpsuit while people across America gape in unsettled alarm. Not because there is anything wrong with her figure, but because this is Ann f'ing Curry, and America is not ready for their relationship with Ann f'ing Curry to get to this level.

And with that, we officially bid Halloween '06 adieu, and begin thinking of how Ann Curry can reveal her toned bits next year in a way that doesn't involve an accident with the sequin truck.

If you were too hungover (or sensible) to make it to last night's Greenwich Village Halloween Parade, fear not: Gawker videographer Richard Blakeley was on the secne, and he's distilled it down to this minute-long clip of fright and fabulosity. Watch if you dare. Or just watch, it only takes a minute.

After the jump, Malcolm and the Malcomettes.

Hmm. Oh yes. Jack-o-lantern indeed.

YES SURI, SHES OUR PUMPKIN! [Livejournal via goldenfiddle]

This past Saturday night, Gawker lensman Nikola Tamindzic worked like a slug in a salt mine to gather the best in Halloween party zoological photography. Thus, we have three different galleries of hipster degradation to thrill your loins. First, there's the Robot Rock party at Movida to get you in the mood with generic costumery and tomfoolery (Nikola's full gallery here). Then, fully aroused, it's time for the Rated X Panty Party, which sports a few most definitely NSFW shots (full gallery here). Lastly, our very own Nick Denton throws a shindig for the few and fortunate, and don't you wish you got to lounge around on those famous couches (full gallery here). If you like, you can review all three galleries' worth of photos simultaneously for maximum 'weenage. More to come of course, but this should keep you in ass cheeks and garter belts till Tuesday.

We apologize in advance for this highly sophomoric clip, but it emerged from video minion Richard Blakeley's fascination with Conan O'Brien's whiteboy dance moves. Hence, a compilation of Conan's antics set to the calendar-appropriate "Monster Mash." Refined discourse will resume after this message.