Hamdi Ulukaya, the creator of the execrable yogurt brand Chobani, has pledged to donate most of his billion-dollar fortune to charity, when all we really want is our $1.69 back for that nasty cup of Chobani.

Hamdi Ulukaya, the recently demoted CEO of garbage yogurt company Chobani, is now focusing his efforts on “developing new products like Flips, a yogurt with toppings on the side.” The only way that could be a more blatant ripoff of Fage would be if Chobani also tasted good.