hannah montana

The Kiddies Are Abandoning Miley Cyrus!

Hannah Montana, the kids' show starring exploited teenager (or, alternately, picture-posing strumpet) Miley Cyrus, ran its first new episode in two months last Sunday. And the ratings were down 24%! Could this be the end for our hero—done in by Annie Leibovitz, Vanity Fair, and a child-unfriendly wave of bad publicity? More »

15 blue

'Times' Correction: Topless Miley Cyrus Not Topless

The New York Times ran a "correction" of their Business section front page story yesterday on how young Miley "Hannah Montana" Cyrus was totally topless on the cover of Vanity Fair, due to her recent run-in with a Jewish lesbian mystic, who hypnotized her. Now, the Times claims Cyrus was topped. The correction: More »

poison!

Miley Cyrus Aims To Kill Your Children

Miley Cyrus, who plays (is? What?) Hannah Montana, is harming children. No, not with her music! (But, yes with her music.) She's actually hurting them through her branded toys and accessories, which, like every other fun thing in the world, are becoming increasingly deadly. You see, various items in the Hannah Montana line of products, specifically those with vinyl in them, were found by the Center for Environmental Health to contain high levels of lead. (Though, really what item meant for children doesn't, these days.) The CEH called it a "poison plastic," deftly summing up every celebrity currently idolized by the tweenagers. So parents! That Hannah Montana purse or knapsack or full-body fetish suit that your ten-year-old child has should not be ingested or touched or anything. Oh, and while you're at it, please tell her (or him) to stop licking that Zac Efron doll. Because, you know. [CNNMoney via OhNoTheyDidn't] If the lead poisoning has not yet killed your child, the video after the jump just might do the trick. More »

boring but newsy

Russian Prez Putin Is 'Time' Person Of The Year

Time magazine's 'Person of the Year' is Russian president Vladimir Putin! Congrats Vlad! The guy has restored relative economic stability to one of the most fascinating countries of our time and his loose interpretation of term limits and free speech make him a political lightning rod. Over the last several decades, we've come to rely on 'Time' to put someone admirable and fairly easy to digest on the last cover of the year—the Pope, American women, the computer! The last time the magazine chose a less than popular figure, it was Ayatollah Khomeini in 1979; readers were so outraged that many canceled their subscriptions. More »