David Silver and Samantha Micelli Will Never, Ever Die

Both rappers who are real and rappers who were on silly shows from the early-mid 90's are getting acting work in Hollywood. Plus TV stars of old and new get good news. More »

Newspaper Industry Destroyed by Ageless Gay Elf

A teen reigns at the box office once again, this time though, it's a boy! Plus politics and newspapers don't resound too much with audiences, nor do dark Taxi Driver-esque mall comedies. More »

Miley Cyrus Twitter Hack Full Of Missed Opportunities, Misspellings

It's a shame that someone went to the trouble of hacking Miley Cyrus's Twitter account, then eschewed the imaginative vagina prose of his forebears to merely imagine X-rated episodes of The Miley and Mandy Show. More »

Margaret Cho Gifts Miley Cyrus With Hit New Ballad 'Chinky Eyes'

If Miley Cyrus wants to make amends with the Asian community in the wake of her scandalous, slanty-eyed snapshots, perhaps she should ring up Margaret Cho, who's just penned her a new tune. More »

42-Year-Old Stephen Baldwin Reveals Tattoo of Teenaged Miley Cyrus

Allow us to introduce to you our Inverse Baldwin Theory, which goes a little something like this: whenever one Baldwin rises in the public's estimation, another Baldwin must descend to heretofore unknown levels of douchebaggery to balance out the universe. Thus, it is so that as Alec Baldwin enjoys near-universal acclaim and awards for his role on 30 Rock, baby brother Stephen has been reduced to stunts like becoming a right-wing Republican, Celebrity Apprentice, and now... this. More »

'Stage-Parenting Tips For Barack Obama,' By Billy Ray Cyrus

When it comes to satisfying their children's tween dreams, Barack and Michelle Obama have been fairly generous, arranging a Jonas Brothers meet-and-greet on the set of Ellen that found Joe practicing his phone breakup techniques on Malia and left Sasha, weirdly, with a purity ring on her left thumb. Still, there's one place that even the Obamas deem too frightening for their girls: the set of Hannah Montana! After Billy Ray Cyrus issued an invitation for the younger Obamas to make an appearance on the show that was greeted with a firm "Uh...," Miley's father attempted a retraction tinged with some unexpected advice: More »

Every Day Is Ice Cream Sundae For Miley Cyrus

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Billy Ray Cyrus Sees A Lot Of His Young Self In Underwear Model Currently Banging His Daughter

Our little Miley is growing up so fast! This weekend, the Hannah Montana threw her Sweet 16 extravaganza at Disneyland (despite the fact that she won't actually turn sixteen for several more weeks) and one of the most notable acts was a rendition of "Achy Breaky Heart" performed by both her father, Billy Ray Cyrus, and Miley's new underwear-modeling beau, Justin Gaston. Though some fathers might blanch at the idea of a smooth-crooning 20-year-old dating their 15-year-old daughter, Billy Ray tells Access Hollywood that he sees a lot of himself in the briefs-clad hunk: More »

Is Ask.com feeling lucky?

Ask.com's latest revamp, unveiled by CEO Jim Safka to the New York Times, attempts to dive deeper into the Web, pulling "structured data," a fashionable buzzword, from sources like TV listings and health databases. Give Barry Diller's scrappy search engine, owned by his IAC conglomerate, this much: When at first it doesn't succeed, it tries, tries, tries again. But you can't blame the market, or users, for finding all this trying, well, trying. More »

Miley Cyrus Has Nothing Up Her Sleeves

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Miley Cyrus Finds Her Head Has Grown Too Big For 'Hannah Montana' Wig

For many girls, turning sixteen is a landmark event that signals the end of being a kid and the onset of new, adult behavior. Why, just check out how tween queen Miley Cyrus is preparing for the occasion: she's kissing girls, eating her clothes off, dating an underwear model, and ready to party with thousands of her favorite gays! There's only one inconvenient reminder of her childhood left: her Disney hit Hannah Montana, which TMZ says Cyrus is keen to leave behind by any means necessary: More »

Cyrus Says 'Peace Out' To The Underwear Model

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Miley Cyrus Will Leave The Stripping to Her New Underwear Model Boytoy

Tween queen Miley Cyrus has a complicated relationship with her clothes: sometimes she's lured out of them by unscrupulous Vanity Fair photographers, and sometimes she simply wants to eat the American Eagle t-shirt off her chest like any other 15-year-old girl. This rampant teen licentiousness has caused cultural stewards the world over to clutch their pearls, and now it seems that a defiant Cyrus has added a like-minded clothes-eschewer to her coterie: 20-year-old singing underwear model Justin Gaston, with whom she was just snapped at church. Is he Miley's latest attempt to pander to the gays, or is this budding, bulging love? More pictures, video, and analysis, after the jump: More »

Miley Cyrus, Toluca Lake’s Most Notorious Loiterer

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Busted!

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Miley's Sweet 16: You (and 30,000 Gays) are Invited!

OMG! The birthday-celebrating opportunity of your tween's lifetime is right around the corner at Disneyland, where plans for Miley Cyrus's Sweet-16 bash on Oct. 5 are coming together with saucy, serendipitous panache. Never mind the $250 face value of the limited tickets going on sale Aug. 30 — the guest list validates a price even double that. Take, for starters, the Jonas Brothers and Miley's other Disney cohorts, throw in a few volunteers handpicked from Youth Service America, and finish it off with a two-story birthday cake full of gays. Or at least a theme park full of them, according to The Advocate: More »

As Miley Cyrus Prepares To Go Nude In New Role, Tween Rivals Challenge Her To A Strip-Off

After many months spent posing topless in glossies, making out with girls, and staging her very own wet t-shirt photo shoots, Miley Cyrus is finally giving up on that whole innocent tween image perfected by Disney and is officially turning into Lindsay Lohan. As MSNBC reports, Cyrus is supposedly “really interested” in nabbing a role in Undiscovered Gyrl, a screen adaptation of an as-yet-unreleased novel written by Naomi Watts’ ex-fiancé. So what does the role of “Gyrl” entail? The plot of the novel revolves around an 18-year old blogger whose interests include alcohol abuse, sleeping around with as many men as possible, and reckless partying. Naturally, a part like this will require several nude scenes, meaning the 15-year old belly dancer and tween icon would finally get paid for revealing her naughty bits this time around, should she get the part. But stripping down and playing bad girls on-screen isn’t the only sign that Miley is Lindsay 2.0 — thanks to her newfound (nudity-based) fame, the underage millionaire has already launched a nasty war of words against her competition, morphing into a real-live Mean Girl overnight: More »

Miley Cyrus, Genuine Class

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Rising Disney Star Eyes Miley Cyrus' Tweenybop Throne, Earns Spot On All-Time Best Teen Feuds List

After a bumpy spring protecting and investing their billion dollar baby Miley Cyrus, today brings news that there may be additional troubles brewing over at the Mouse House. 15-year old Selena Gomez, the rising star of the newest Disney series Wizards Of Waverly Place, whose elevator pitch was most likely "Gossip Girl Meets Harry Potter Meets Charmed But Like, Happy!," is reportedly usurping the scandal-plagued Cyrus' dimming star power. Quietly crowned “The Next Miley Cyrus” by various newsies, the Miley lookalike (minus gummy smile, plus premature Jolie-level hotness) plays Alex, whose painfully ironic mantra is "cast magic first, ask questions later." But the turbulence among competing teens trying to catch their big break by stepping over their peers left and right is a trend as old as the Mousketeers’ first dimpled disciples. After the jump, we count down our top three favorite teen feuds of yesteryear. More »

Billy Ray Cyrus's Touching Loyalty To Daughter Miley Underscored By Poignant Poop-Stomping Metaphor

Billy Ray Cyrus, virtue-hoarding father and achy-breaky-svengali to cultural tween phenomenon Miley Cyrus, appeared on The Today Show this morning, where for the first time he was made to address the now-infamous Virgin Miley study that recently graced the pages of Vanity Fair. An unwavering Meredith Vieira was determined to figure out where he was as photographer Annie Leibovitz crouched beneath a lighting umbrella, pressing two index fingers to her lips as she spitballed aloud, "For the next one, maybe lose the clothes, clutch that sheet to your chest, and give me your best 'Got Milk?' face." More »

Those Highly-Anticipated Miley Cyrus 'First Kiss' Photos Worth $150K? Yeah, We Got 'Em Already

At this point, seeing photos of 15-year old Miley Cyrus posing topless or seductively baring her taut tummy for rumored paramour Nick Jonas is the very definition of old news. But when it comes to the tween millionaire appearing in photos actually kissing a boy (or, gasp, a girl!) in public, these photos would likely tighten a few paparazzo’s trousers. As the LA Times reports today, pictures of Miley’s “first kiss” could potentially earn one lucky photographer anywhere between $30k to $150k. And we are officially confused. Why? Well, we happen to have more than a few pictures of Miley making out with all kinds of suitors, starting back when she was 14. So where’s our cash? After the jump, see how the magic of Google can instantly debunk all the heated speculation on when Miley will have her first kiss, and when, oh when, will we get to see them. The time is now, Defamer readers: More »

The Kiddies Are Abandoning Miley Cyrus!

Hannah Montana, the kids' show starring exploited teenager (or, alternately, picture-posing strumpet) Miley Cyrus, ran its first new episode in two months last Sunday. And the ratings were down 24%! Could this be the end for our hero—done in by Annie Leibovitz, Vanity Fair, and a child-unfriendly wave of bad publicity? More »

All Grown-Up Miley Cyrus Goes Agency Hopping to UTA

Congratulations to the gang at United Talent Agency, who last weekend offset a series of high-profile defections with the addition of Mitchell Gossett — the Agent to the Child Stars who brings along top client and recent teenagers-fucking firebrand Miley Cyrus. Nikki Finke had the news Saturday, reporting that Billy Ray Cyrus would be tagging along out of Gossett's former headquarters at Cunningham Escott Slevin Doherty, sort of a halfway house for transitioning young talent (and, evidently, their middling parents). Finke notes that it's anyone's guess how Miley's Vanity Fair bedsheet-rocking played into the deal, but the timing seems clear enough to us. More »

Teenagers Fuck (And Other Lessons From The Miley Cyrus Debacle)

We're so confused. An extra day's digestion of the Miley Cyrus/Vanity Fair photo "scandal" hasn't cleared much up for us in the way of morals, betrayals, exploitations and career management of the young Hannah Montana star, but the public meltdown has alerted us to a more basic truth that is helping guide us through the fog of outrage. This isn't about Miley Cyrus without a shirt on or if she's been seen somewhere in her lingerie, or if her father dropped the ball. More »

'Times' Correction: Topless Miley Cyrus Not Topless

The New York Times ran a "correction" of their Business section front page story yesterday on how young Miley "Hannah Montana" Cyrus was totally topless on the cover of Vanity Fair, due to her recent run-in with a Jewish lesbian mystic, who hypnotized her. Now, the Times claims Cyrus was topped. The correction: More »

Investigating The Miley Cyrus 'Topless' Photo Scandal: Career-Ender Or Standard Starlet Move?

Vanity Fair has done it again. In their upcoming issue, famed photographer Annie Leibovitz shot a controversial photo spread featuring Billion Dollar Girl Miley Cyrus, prompting public outrage from the Christian Coalition, Disney and, naturally, the ladies of The View. Leibovitz and VF are being accused of crossing the line between art and pedophilia by shooting Cyrus in what some are calling "topless" photos (shown after the jump). Before the issue has even hit newsstands, Miley has apologized to her fans and Disney, concerned that the spread could affect the Hannah Montana cash cow. But this isn't the first time VF has hired one of their star photographers to use her lens in an effort to reinvent the images of underage starlets by featuring them in a slightly more provocative and mature light... More »

Miley Cyrus Aims To Kill Your Children

Miley Cyrus, who plays (is? What?) Hannah Montana, is harming children. No, not with her music! (But, yes with her music.) She's actually hurting them through her branded toys and accessories, which, like every other fun thing in the world, are becoming increasingly deadly. You see, various items in the Hannah Montana line of products, specifically those with vinyl in them, were found by the Center for Environmental Health to contain high levels of lead. (Though, really what item meant for children doesn't, these days.) The CEH called it a "poison plastic," deftly summing up every celebrity currently idolized by the tweenagers. So parents! That Hannah Montana purse or knapsack or full-body fetish suit that your ten-year-old child has should not be ingested or touched or anything. Oh, and while you're at it, please tell her (or him) to stop licking that Zac Efron doll. Because, you know. [CNNMoney via OhNoTheyDidn't] If the lead poisoning has not yet killed your child, the video after the jump just might do the trick. More »

Directing Debut Of Miley Cyrus Brings Upstart Reese Witherspoon to Knees

In a fluky show of solidarity, an Oscar winner and an Oscar presenter/hopeful/soon-to-be-exile spent the week demonstrating the full spectrum of women's power behind the camera. First, Reese Witherspoon hit the press circuit for Penelope, the new indie featuring Christina Ricci as a girl cursed with a pig nose and co-star Witherspoon in her debut as a producer. Stepping up from the more nominal executive producing duties she adopted for Legally Blonde 2, Witherspoon oversaw everything from development to distribution for her Type A Films shingle: More »

Engulfed by automotive-safety-related controversy following a disturbing Consumer Reports exposé on their failure to wear seatbelts in a single scene in Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour, the Cyrus family was forced to apologize for giving millions of teens the false impression that Miley thinks it's totally hot to die in a car accident. It's totally not, says a regretful Billy Ray, so buckle up even if it's just a short minivan ride to your Hannah shows, rainbow parties, or whatever it is the kids are into these days: "We got caught up in the moment of filming, and we made a mistake and forgot to buckle our seatbelts. Seatbelt safety is extremely important." [People, Consumer Reports]

Every Tween In America Turns Out For Hannah Montana's Big Screen Debut

As you and your loved one attempt to pry off the beer helmet that became glued to your head by a combination of sweat and Coors Light runoff, enjoy the weekend box office numbers: More »

Hannah Montana Tweens Set To, Like, Totally Go To The Movies This Weekend And Stuff

Yesterday, Fandango.com released a gushing statement to the press declaring that Hannah Montana & Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert had officially become their "best-selling concert film ever." Now, Var tells us this morning that the tweeny 3D release may be a biggie in more ways than just pre-sale ticket figures; some pundits are projecting that the concert movie could trump Jessica Alba's The Eye at the B.O. this weekend. The larger question, though? Have tweenybops become the new target demo for box office breakouts? Or will the potentially sold-out-everywhere Montana movie just turn out line upon line of horndogs recently captivated by those recently surfaced Miley Underwear pics? More »

The Breathless Gossip Vlogger Who Will Replace Us All

YouTube's only watchable dude-at-a-desk show is What the Buck, a daily on celeb gossip. In the latest episode, catty host Michael Buckley here thanks Satan for providing dirty photos of Hannah "underage in every state" Montana. More »

Miley Cyrus Defends Herself Against Shared-Licorice Lesbian Teen Romp Rumors

In a story that tidily summed up the Spirit of the Holidays™, a Texas girls' clothing chain offering four seats and a flight to see Miley Cyrus's solidly sold-out concert tour chose as the winner of its essay contest the six-year-old who began her entry, "My daddy died this year in Iraq." Trouble was, her daddy had never been to Iraq, and was alive and well living in the next town over. To listen to her mother, who orchestrated the entire thing, go on at length with a TV reporter about how she was never once told the "essay had to be true" and thus took offense at being labeled a liar, is to truly catch a chilling glimpse into the dark heart of a Hannah Montana concert-ticket-seeking parent's soul. But that would prove to be the lesser of two weekend controversies for the Disney Channel star: More »

It is the greatest story of the year. A six-year-old girl who won tickets to a "Hannah Montana" concert by beginning an essay "My daddy died this year in Iraq" may not get to see Miley Cyrus live and in person after all—her dad didn't die in Iraq one bit! Awesome. [AP]

Russian Prez Putin Is 'Time' Person Of The Year

Time magazine's 'Person of the Year' is Russian president Vladimir Putin! Congrats Vlad! The guy has restored relative economic stability to one of the most fascinating countries of our time and his loose interpretation of term limits and free speech make him a political lightning rod. Over the last several decades, we've come to rely on 'Time' to put someone admirable and fairly easy to digest on the last cover of the year—the Pope, American women, the computer! The last time the magazine chose a less than popular figure, it was Ayatollah Khomeini in 1979; readers were so outraged that many canceled their subscriptions. More »