Gawker: hannah montana

The Kiddies Are Abandoning Miley Cyrus!

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 07 May 2008 10:40:45 EDT

Hannah Montana, the kids' show starring exploited teenager (or, alternately, picture-posing strumpet) Miley Cyrus, ran its first new episode in two months last Sunday. And the ratings were down 24%! Could this be the end for our hero—done in by Annie Leibovitz, Vanity Fair, and a child-unfriendly wave of bad publicity?

The Daily News' Richard Huff points out that ratings for the previous episode, which aired before the photo controversy broke, were also down:

Compared to the first original show of the year, which aired in January, viewership for Sunday's show was down 33%.
That suggests the hubbub over series star Miley Cyrus' questionable photos in Vanity Fair neither helped nor hurt with viewership. Rather, "Hannah" was on a decline before the photo dustup.

Disney CEO Bob Iger has the obligatory quote about how the Miley "franchise" is "incredibly robust." But Huff suggest that she could already be on an inevitable downward slide, at least among young fans. Which would certainly cause her advisers to tell her to grow up, quick.

Experience shows that kid franchises such as "Hannah" that hit the rare white-hot phase are good for roughly 18 months, then start to fade.

"Hannah Montana" had been the top-rated show with young viewers the past two seasons, but because of the slow rollout this year, the heat has moved to the "Wizards of Waverly Place," starring Selena Gomez (who has appeared on "Hannah"), which now holds the slot as Disney's top show.

'Times' Correction: Topless Miley Cyrus Not Topless

Pareene — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 14:14:36 EDT

The New York Times ran a "correction" of their Business section front page story yesterday on how young Miley "Hannah Montana" Cyrus was totally topless on the cover of Vanity Fair, due to her recent run-in with a Jewish lesbian mystic, who hypnotized her. Now, the Times claims Cyrus was topped. The correction:

A headline and an article on Monday about a Vanity Fair photograph showing the actress Miley Cyrus in a suggestive pose left the incorrect impression that she was bare-breasted. While the pose was indeed revealing, she was wrapped in what appeared to be a bedsheet; she was not topless.

Did Disney complain? Or Billy Ray? Surely they wouldn't give a shit if Conde Nast called. Regardless—it's official. Topless Miley Cyrus was wearing a bedsheet, and therefore not topless. So STOP SAYING IT.

Truth

Richard — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 16:38:00 EDT

Hannah Montana has a seven-figure book deal and you don't.

Miley Cyrus Aims To Kill Your Children

Richard — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 14:40:05 EDT

Miley Cyrus, who plays (is? What?) Hannah Montana, is harming children. No, not with her music! (But, yes with her music.) She's actually hurting them through her branded toys and accessories, which, like every other fun thing in the world, are becoming increasingly deadly. You see, various items in the Hannah Montana line of products, specifically those with vinyl in them, were found by the Center for Environmental Health to contain high levels of lead. (Though, really what item meant for children doesn't, these days.) The CEH called it a "poison plastic," deftly summing up every celebrity currently idolized by the tweenagers. So parents! That Hannah Montana purse or knapsack or full-body fetish suit that your ten-year-old child has should not be ingested or touched or anything. Oh, and while you're at it, please tell her (or him) to stop licking that Zac Efron doll. Because, you know. [CNNMoney via OhNoTheyDidn't] If the lead poisoning has not yet killed your child, the video after the jump just might do the trick.

The Breathless Gossip Vlogger Who Will Replace Us All

Nick Douglas — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 14:03:11 EST

YouTube's only watchable dude-at-a-desk show is What the Buck, a daily on celeb gossip. In the latest episode, catty host Michael Buckley here thanks Satan for providing dirty photos of Hannah "underage in every state" Montana.

What the Buck is still struggling to become an established show, but the CW called him a "weblebrity," a term meaning "we just found out people get famous on the Internet, let's do a segment."

[What the Buck: recent episodes]

It is the greatest story of the year. A six-year-old ...

Emily Gould — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 12:59:42 EST

It is the greatest story of the year. A six-year-old girl who won tickets to a "Hannah Montana" concert by beginning an essay "My daddy died this year in Iraq" may not get to see Miley Cyrus live and in person after all—her dad didn't die in Iraq one bit! Awesome. [AP]

Russian Prez Putin Is 'Time' Person Of The Year

Maggie — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 13:00:04 EST

Time magazine's 'Person of the Year' is Russian president Vladimir Putin! Congrats Vlad! The guy has restored relative economic stability to one of the most fascinating countries of our time and his loose interpretation of term limits and free speech make him a political lightning rod. Over the last several decades, we've come to rely on 'Time' to put someone admirable and fairly easy to digest on the last cover of the year—the Pope, American women, the computer! The last time the magazine chose a less than popular figure, it was Ayatollah Khomeini in 1979; readers were so outraged that many canceled their subscriptions.

Hey, Time, were we feeling a little sheepish after last year's softie copout? Ooh, let's kick Brian William's suggestion of Mamasita Earth to the curb and get back to putting someone serious and newsy on the cover! How about a former KGB agent! Serious. Boring! But newsy.

The rest of Time's 2007 list feels a little more familiar: J.K. Rowling, Don Imus, The Jena 6, Radiohead, Britney Spears—Hannah Montana, for God's sakes. And of course, let's not forget Al Gore, who'll probably put on at least ten pounds this month just dealing with the fact that once again, he's runner-up. Always a bridesmaid, Albert, never the bride.

Time: Person Of The Year
Earlier: 'Time' Person Of The Year: Might Be Less Sucky Than Last Year?