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Mon Dec 28
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Of Harvard and Hogwarts: Ivy League Schools Using Harry Potter to Whore Themselves Out
There Is No Such Thing as a 'Two-Part Finale'
So tonight is the Top Chef finale. Oh what? You thought it was last week? No, last week was the first half of the "two-part finale." We are so sick of this stupid stunt. More »Dick Joke Involving Child-Rearing Expert Tom Cruise Gets Funnier
Buy Glenn Beck's Book So His Daughter Can Attend an Elitist Ivy League School
Look what popped up on Simon & Schuster's YouTube channel tonight! It's Glenn Beck, imploring the masses, including liberals, to buy his book so he can send his daughter to Obama's alma mater, that noted communist think-tank, Columbia University. More »Dumbledore's Corpse Eaten by Guinea Pigs, Potter Enslaved and Forced to Run On Giant Wheel
Monday morning means box office. And a hot Monday morning means summer box office. Which means big, depressing numbers for big, depressing movies. Like G-Force, a Jerry Bruckheimer-produced sorta-animated movie about guinea pigs. Yes, guinea pigs. More »In Rare Burst Of Sanity, Pope Now Lovin' Evil Gay Oscar Wilde And Evil Wizard Harry Potter
Feeling sprightly after recovering from wrist surgery yesterday, Pope Benedict the &!# gives that corrupter of innocence Harry Potter and flagrant 'mosexual Oscar Wilde the thumbs up. It's another loony episode of "That's Our Benny!" More »Wait, Is Tyler Perry Jewish?
Between the Wizards and the Avatar there's a lot of money floating through Hollywood right now. Vast riches unknown by the average shmo! Sure glad we have the Jews to take care of it for us. More »New Harry Potter Officially a Juggernaut
Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince opened on 3,003 screens nationwide at midnight and hauled in $22.2 million, shattering the previous midnight screening record of $18.5 million set by The Dark Knight. [LA Times]Those Cute Kids of Yesteryear Are Now Getting Drunk in Capes
Harry Potter's PR Strategy: Charm The Kids
Are the young Harry Potter actors not the best? They are, because they're not ridiculous celebrity assholes, instead choosing acting in Broadway shows, going to Ivy League schools, and throwing down the charm offensive on young 12-year-old reporters. Seriously: More »Harry Potter Wizards Dream Of Gossip Girl While Jon Gosselin Dreams Of Ed Hardy's Sparkles
Harry Potter and Gossip Girl finally meet in the middle, Jon Gosselin wants to capitalize on the worst fashion trend in the History of the Universe, Robert Pattinson's good in bed, Jim Carry's a scary grandparent, and celebrity DUI time! More »Harry Potter Does Not Get Its Romantic Ideals from Twilight, Thank You Very Much
Supernatural-obsessed youngsters are delicate creatures to cater to. Just ask the producers of Harry Potter and Twilight. The juggernauts often square off in ideological combat, but when it comes to their movies, they mostly stay far away from each other. More »Britney Spears: Almost a Jew
Britney is converting to Judaism, Gwyneth is brainwashing her GOOP death cult into thinking that a cleansed colon is the way to God, Jeremy Piven preaches the horrors of fish and Katy Perry frolics in a bikini in Turkey. More »Never Throw Your Drink at Anna Kournikova
Anna Kournikova viciously brawls with another woman in a Vegas club, Leighton Meester sings and acts in a video for Cobra Starship, Michael Jackson looked frail on stage at his concert rehearsals and Chris Brown gets shut down by Jay-Z. More »Aaden Gosselin Is Not Meaty Enough To Sate The Ratings Deities
A child of Jon and Kate Gosselin is injured after an unsuccessful sacrificial offering to Nielsen gods by TLC. Madonna's child caper! Susan Boyle: distraught. Harry Potter and Radiohead? Yeezey's girlfriend! Presenting your Sunday morning gossip roundup. Happy Father's Day! More »Allen Ups Skirt, Wang Pulls Out, Zellweger Gets Taken For A Ride
Small songstress Lilly Allen Wears Bo-Peep Costume, Exposes Curds and Whey [Daily Mail] More »The Deathly Hallows of Online Community
LiveJournal's users are revolting! And not just because of their weird obsession with writing dirty stories about Harry Potter. It's a cautionary tale for anyone hoping to profit from online community. More »India Doesn't Need To Steal Your Stupid Wizard Movie
Early Photos Of Dumbledore Reveal That, Yes, OK, Fine. Yeah. He Was Gay.
Naked Harry Potter Will Teach You Things About Yourself
J.K. Rowling Prevails Over Superdumb Harry Potter Encyclopedia