THE GOLDEN ERA Host: Computer-generated imagery of a pioneer of the industry: First up, Charlie Chaplin. Next year, Mary Pickford and Douglas Fairbanks co-host. Producer: Anyone who made a movie before 1985. Ideal Best Picture Winner: Any period piece starring an actor/actress over 40 with a slew of remade classics as runner-up nominees. Opening Number: A "We Are The World" type number with a crowd of film stars from the last century singing in unison. Anyone who can sing lyrics from a teleprompter without bifocals and walk on stage without breaking a hip is eligible. Call your agent. Clips Reel: In lieu of speeches from any and all winners (stand, take a bow, sit back down--we'll mail your little golden guy), clip reels, montages and more clip reels! Log Line: The way we were.
I'm working on the Chinatown connection. Let's see, a child rapist flicks a shiv through the nostril of a PI. And The Wanderer is slapped by little Henrik Ibsen. And this girl's sister is her own aunt.
That's a pretty straightforward allegory for hiding the water plan, i e, protecting the anti-semitic lush who is the son of a holocaust denier.
Forget about "personal or familial activity" for a moment: How exactly is the State of California going to define "celebrity?' To borrow from Seth Meyers/SNL's Weekend Update this past weekend, we've sunk to a new low as a society in that "celebrity" means "mammal." #tmz
I love how the paparazzi hide behind the first amendment as if pictures, video and/or interviews of celebrities at the airport or outside a restaurant constitutes as real news that it needs to be protected. As for protecting sources, unless it's about legitimate criminal activity then I really don't need to know that Paris Hilton refuses to take a shit in prison lest someone take a pic on their cell phone. Whatever. The celebrities who alert the paps for coverage will continue to do so and those that want to protect their privacy and that of their families will finally be able to prosecute if they wish. #tmz
THE OSCARS THAT SHOULD BE Host: Ricky Gervais Producer: Ricky Gervais Ideal Best Picture Winner: Can't say yet as the movies I've seen: Jennifer's Body, An Education, 500 Days of Summer, The Hurt Locker, Transformers: ROTF, Public Enemies, Taken, The September Issue, none really stands out as the best of anything. Opening Number: Ricky riffing on the death of the studios and the star system as studio heads and aging former powerhouses cringe in their seats. Clips Reel: None. The show is too long as is Log Line : The truth and nothing but the truth, so help us all #oscars
Host: Ricky Gervais Producer: Karl Pilkington Ideal Best Picture Winner: Give Pixar what it fucking deserves... Up Opening Number: Stephen Merchant doing the robot Clips Reel: Spoof of Twilight Log Line: Laugh & Let Die #oscars
Very funny. You forgot the Sci Fi Oscars, though, with Spielberg producing and Carrie Fisher hosting dressed as Princess Leia while interjecting tales of her alcohlic adventures. #oscars
@naugahydeinplainsight: EVERY Oscars is the Holocaust Oscars. Has there ever been a Holocaust-related documentary/short/feature that didn't earn an award? #oscars
10/21/09
10/21/09
And that would be a good thing. #tmz
10/21/09
10/20/09
Host: Computer-generated imagery of a pioneer of the industry: First up, Charlie Chaplin. Next year, Mary Pickford and Douglas Fairbanks co-host.
Producer: Anyone who made a movie before 1985.
Ideal Best Picture Winner: Any period piece starring an actor/actress over 40 with a slew of remade classics as runner-up nominees.
Opening Number: A "We Are The World" type number with a crowd of film stars from the last century singing in unison. Anyone who can sing lyrics from a teleprompter without bifocals and walk on stage without breaking a hip is eligible. Call your agent.
Clips Reel: In lieu of speeches from any and all winners (stand, take a bow, sit back down--we'll mail your little golden guy), clip reels, montages and more clip reels!
Log Line: The way we were.
10/20/09
That's a pretty straightforward allegory for hiding the water plan, i e, protecting the anti-semitic lush who is the son of a holocaust denier.
10/20/09
10/20/09
10/20/09
10/20/09
10/20/09
10/20/09
10/20/09
10/20/09
10/20/09
10/20/09
Host: Ricky Gervais
Producer: Ricky Gervais
Ideal Best Picture Winner: Can't say yet as the movies I've seen: Jennifer's Body, An Education, 500 Days of Summer, The Hurt Locker, Transformers: ROTF, Public Enemies, Taken, The September Issue, none really stands out as the best of anything.
Opening Number: Ricky riffing on the death of the studios and the star system as studio heads and aging former powerhouses cringe in their seats.
Clips Reel: None. The show is too long as is
Log Line : The truth and nothing but the truth, so help us all #oscars
10/21/09
Host: Ricky Gervais
Producer: Karl Pilkington
Ideal Best Picture Winner: Give Pixar what it fucking deserves... Up
Opening Number: Stephen Merchant doing the robot
Clips Reel: Spoof of Twilight
Log Line: Laugh & Let Die #oscars
10/20/09
10/20/09
10/20/09
The Holocaust Oscars, where no one has a good time but every film is a winner. #oscars
10/20/09
10/20/09
10/20/09
10/20/09
10/20/09