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Subtle Media Sarcasm Watch
So the press was entirely shut out of Sarah Palin's magical journey through the UN today. They are making up for it by being quietly bitchy. The headlines: "Palin meets her first world leaders in New York." (You know, from first world countries like Afghanistan!) And here is the most sarcastic Associated Press lead sentence ever: More »
siren song
Black Hole Fun
CERN's Large Hadron Collider, "the biggest physics experiment in history," fired its proton beam down its 17-mile tunnel this morning. No miniature black holes resulted. (So far.) To learn everything you need to know about the news today, just click to see how Matt Drudge put it, in what is perhaps the single finest one-two-punch headline combination he's ever crafted. [Drudge, all posts tagged 'Science With Drudge']
headlines
Ted Kennedy Wins Rave Reviews
We were told Ted Kennedy, who's battling advanced brain cancer, had mere weeks to live. We were told there'd be a macabre video salute to the man in lieu of an actual appearance in Denver. So when he actually showed up on stage at the DNC to deliver a genuinely rousing speech, well, it was an emotional moment. So emotional that the major tabloids of both New York and Boston could not come up with original headlines. More »
shouting heads
Should We Bother Getting Offended by Rush Limbaugh?
People are outraged that Rush Limbaugh just said something offensive! This is him talking about Barack Obama somehow: "I think it really goes back to the fact that nobody had the guts to stand up and say no to a black guy." Except Rush, obv! Racist! But, you know, who cares? This is probably a sign that the terrorists have WON but it is actually impossible to be outraged by this man anymore. Did you even notice that he said two even more offensive things about Barack Obama this week? More »
silly season
Crazy Dog-Cloner is Crazy Missionary-Assaulter
Bernann McKinney mortgaged her home to travel to South Korea to have her pit bull cloned. Turns out, 30 years ago she kidnapped a Mormon missionary, chained him to a bed, and allegedly forced him to have sex with her. The Times of London further reports: "To add further mystery and zing to the whole story, Mr Anderson was said to have been wearing a Mormon chastity belt at the time." [The Australian, The Times]
headlines
OK, not really, but hah! "I thought it was a stick," the befrosted American Idol host said. "I wasn't sure what had happened." Motorcycles are attacking Lindsay! Alcohol is sneaking its way into Shia LaBeouf's bloodstream and forcing his hand to turn the ignition key! And now Seacrest is being eaten by wild animals. I take it back! News is not slow! [Us]
Us Weekly Offers Correction to Previous 'Ryan Seacrest Not Bit By Shark' Story
OK, not really, but hah! "I thought it was a stick," the befrosted American Idol host said. "I wasn't sure what had happened." Motorcycles are attacking Lindsay! Alcohol is sneaking its way into Shia LaBeouf's bloodstream and forcing his hand to turn the ignition key! And now Seacrest is being eaten by wild animals. I take it back! News is not slow! [Us]
headlines
From the New York Times. Prized playwright Tom Stoppard has current affairs-induced writer's block. The Times, on the other hand, keeps on churning out sad, telling little oddities like this. "Arts, Briefly." Man oh man.
Man, 71, Upset About Things
From the New York Times. Prized playwright Tom Stoppard has current affairs-induced writer's block. The Times, on the other hand, keeps on churning out sad, telling little oddities like this. "Arts, Briefly." Man oh man.
