The Montag-Pratts formally end their divorce charade. Heidi Klum quits Victoria's Secret. Lindsay Lohan wears fancy outfits at rehab. Charlie Sheen's daughter has a Twilight-themed wedding. TGIFriday gossip.

[Obviously this picture of Spencer and Heidi Pratt is staged and we really shouldn't indulge them, but oh well. Appropriately, it's from Splash]

See the shopping bags in this picture? The stuff inside is worth more than your college education. Are Annette Bening and Warren Beatty on the rocks? Will Christina Hendricks do nude scenes? Thursday gossip asks hard questions.

In the aftermath of Lady Gaga's meaty VMA performance, erotic revelations. Kanye West is a puddle of sorrow. Robert DeNiro cures boner problems with Tiger Balm. Andre Leon Talley falls off a bench. Monday gossip starts the week right.

Paris Hilton's mug shot looks better than most people's regular photos. Will Spencer Pratt cough up his sex tape? All of Jersey Shore sued for assault. Leonardo DiCaprio gets a restraining order. That is not Sunday Gossip Roundup's purse.

Kim Kardashian's search for an Emmys dress frustrates. Lindsay Lohan drives a Maserati after midnight. Taylor Swift frolics with a possible boyfriend. Heidi Montag worries about her face falling off. TGIFriday gossip.

Elin Nordegren gives her first and last interview. Lindsay Lohan is freed from rehab. Heidi Montag wants her old boobs back, but not before she sells her sex tape. Wednesday gossip declares its independence.

Why did Lourdes Leon wear a marijuana-themed wristband? Lindsay Lohan may go free tomorrow. Taylor Momsen rather regrets her latest teen angst interview. Cuba Gooding Jr. parties with Johnny Weir. Tuesday gossip makes bold statements.

Welcome to Monday's gossip roundup, in which we gather every horrifying new detail about Speidi's sex tape (blackmail! ultimatums!) and how it inspires Snooki's ex. Meanwhile, Brad Pitt wants to murder BP executives and LiLo's lawyer heads back to court.

The Heidi Montag Sex Tape keeps getting sexier! Justin Timberlake is the face of a women's perfume. A Jonas brother has a new girlfriend. True Blood stars get married! Sunday Gossip Roundup is battered and deep fried.

Semi-famous white guy Spencer Pratt, who is shopping a sex tape of himself and soon-to-be ex-wife Heidi Montag, has reportedly set an asking price of $5 million: "This is the best thing I can do for my ex-wife." [TMZ; Bauer-Griffin]

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag's Sex Tape Will Feature pre- and post-op Heidi. Lindsay Lohan can't exercise. Real Housewives of New Jersey blow-up! Saturday Gossip Round-up is part of the problem.

This was inevitable: Spencer Pratt is reportedly negotiating the sale of a sex tape starring his soon-to-be ex-wife Heidi Montag. No word, as of yet, whether it was shot before or after Heidi's Barbie-like surgical makeover. [TMZ, image via INF]

Now is your chance to reprimand Jennifer Aniston. Spencer Pratt is writing a tell-all. Miranda Kerr is with child. Lindsay Lohan is off drugs. Twelve Duggars get the chicken pox at the same time. TGIFriday gossip.

J.Lo's assistants aren't allowed significant others or vacations. Fred Armisen dumped Elisabeth Moss for a younger SNL cast member. Montana Fishburne explains the weird spots on her butt. Naomi Campbell cheats on her taxes. Thursday gossip rules with fear.

Alexander Skarsgard doesn't use a sock for sex scenes, but Anna Paquin uses a "patch." Lindsay's first post-jail interview and Duff's wedding pictures are both worth $1 million. Erykah Badu gets probation for going nude. Wednesday gossip bares all.

Plastic surgeon to the stars, Dr. Frank Ryan, accidentally drove his car off the Pacific Coast Highway yesterday and died. He performed 10 surgeries in one day on Heidi Montag, who is still surviving the car wreck of her life.

A guy is trying to sell Heidiandspencer.com on eBay for $21 million. He must be banking on Heidi and Spencer getting back together, because he says it's the "Greatest Domain Ever." Act now: There are only three days left! [Radar]

Maxim's new Lindsay Lohan cover story coincides with the starlet's freedom. Gisele Bundchen tells women what to do with their breasts. Christina Hendricks used to be goth. Pregnant man has third child. Tuesday gossip lifts and separates.

Snooki avoids spending the night in jail. Levi Johnston's ex-girlfriend denies he knocked her up. Casey Affleck has more trouble on his hands. Oh, and there's a big wedding happening today. It's time for a delayed installment of Saturday gossip.