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Howards Hughes' 1000 Heirs Will All Inherit Nothing
Alex von Furstenberg Wants to Tell You Who Seduced His Fiancée
Young Sulzberger Finally Dispatched to War Zone
Rich Playboy Written About in Paper
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Bottle-Of-Smoke
08/12/09

In reply to Alex von Furstenberg Wants to Tell You Who Seduced His Fiancée
How Oedipal. Ms. Kay certainly has DvF's eyebrow arch and social striving down pat. And in Alex's defense, killer abs are usually an adequate substitute for brains and talent.
If famously degrading yourself is what it takes to protect dear old Mommy, do what you must, son.
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Conchie Birdie
08/11/09

In reply to Alex von Furstenberg Wants to Tell You Who Seduced His Fiancée
...former Indiana Pacers star Reggie Miller, who by the way can totally blow me for beating the Knicks all those times,- you crack me up.
As for Alex, I guess what goes around comes around.
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HypocriticalOath
08/11/09

In reply to Alex von Furstenberg Wants to Tell You Who Seduced His Fiancée
Dear Douche von Furstenberg: you cheated on your wife with a tween, and now a few years later, she's cheating on you? Let me break out my big bag of pity....and by pity I mean schadenfreude.
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Muggs Bigglesworth
08/11/09

In reply to Alex von Furstenberg Wants to Tell You Who Seduced His Fiancée
Jesus, dump her because she appears interested in Reggie fucking Miller. He's one alien step below Sam Cassell.
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Cynical Media Bitch promoted this comment Muggs Bigglesworth was starred

Dave J.
08/11/09

@Muggs Bigglesworth: My thinking exactly. It's one thing if she's sending naked texts to LeBron or something. But...Reggie Miller? Feh!
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Bottle-Of-Smoke
08/12/09

@Dave J.: Clearly she has a thing for ballers, evidenced by the above pic with Matt Geiger.
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Paul.B.Dodd
08/11/09

In reply to Alex von Furstenberg Wants to Tell You Who Seduced His Fiancée
This kid being a douchebag has nothing to do with whether or not he's a Lakers fan. Leave our reigning world champions out of it.
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BookishLookish
08/11/09

In reply to Alex von Furstenberg Wants to Tell You Who Seduced His Fiancée
I posted this on Deadspin already, but it bears repeating: This is an all-around fail. Ali, your trade craft is poor, girl. Don't poke at a fire unless you can put it out. And if a man is giving you unwanted attention, tell him to cut it the fuck out, don't schlep your rich-boy fiance into it and get all lawyered up. 'Cause, believe me, you're going to need all the biz-handling practice you can get for when Alex VF starts fucking around on you, in about four years, starting now.
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sweetpickles
08/11/09

@BookishLookish: I think we are lowering our standards by just commenting on these two, um, three. Reggie Miller broke my heart many times. And it wasn't the sexy pictures my girlfriend kept sending him. He molested Anthony Mason at the three and buried my chance at seeing the Knicks win a championship with Ewing. I will never forgive him. But flying a plane overhead to send a message? Hell no! I'll just watch Spike Lee heckle him as he calls the games now. Worth repeating: Alex VF is a rich pussy. Have some balls and confront the dude.
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BookishLookish
08/11/09

@sweetpickles: It's a clusterfuck of lame.
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The One
08/11/09

@sweetpickles: That was the '95 Eastern Conf. semis, right? I remember that like it was yesterday: Knicks were up about 7 with maybe 15 seconds left on the clock. My dad actually got up and went to start the barbecue because he assumed the game was over. But no, Cheryl's brother suddenly got hot. I still maintain that if he hadn't gotten away with committing an offensive foul on Anthony Mason while hitting one of those evil 3s, the Knicks would have won that game and possibly the series. (Back then, I remember some stat about how maybe 80-85% of the teams that win game 1 in an NBA playoff series go on to win that series.)
Yes, I can hold a grudge and I've always despised that prick Reggie Miller since then.
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El_Gato
08/11/09

In reply to Alex von Furstenberg Wants to Tell You Who Seduced His Fiancée
Btw, their marriage should provide the residents of Malibu with years of entertainment. Here's another banner that should appear in about two or three years:
"Dear Malibu pool boys, stop bodog'n my wife."
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BookishLookish promoted this comment El_Gato was starred El_Gato was unstarred

BookishLookish
08/11/09

@El_Gato: I'm promoting you, darling.
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El_Gato
08/11/09

@BookishLookish: Haha, thanks Bookish. Coming from you, it is an honor.
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BookishLookish
08/11/09

@El_Gato: Would that I could do more.
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richardmarxhatesmyhair
08/11/09

@El_Gato: hilarious and awesome!
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CaptainFantastic
08/11/09

In reply to Alex von Furstenberg Wants to Tell You Who Seduced His Fiancée
Alex, can I interest you in a pre-nup and a frontal lobe?
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Victor Ward
08/11/09

In reply to Alex von Furstenberg Wants to Tell You Who Seduced His Fiancée
Wait, I think I'm missing something. Ali Kay is, like, a weight loss pill, right?
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TabithaIapetus
08/11/09

In reply to Alex von Furstenberg Wants to Tell You Who Seduced His Fiancée
I broke up with a girl in 8th grade and did the same thing. Only my banner read:
"Jill, quit hanging out with Jordan by his locker or I am so going to Assistant Principal Mr. Bradford and make him make you guys stay away from each other for like ever. I am so serious."
Didn't work for me either Alex.
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El_Gato
08/11/09

In reply to Alex von Furstenberg Wants to Tell You Who Seduced His Fiancée
Whoa, whoa, whoa ... that wasn't even the best part of the story. This is:
"According to a friend, 'Ali met Reggie at a Lakers game back in February 2009 and went back to Reggie's house afterward.'
That's when the texting began, the von Furstenberg pal said."
She wasn't going back there to practice free throws or meet Sheryl Miller. If Furstenberg thought it was bad, just wait til this chick meets Shaq. Or Kobe!! Hah!!
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mslewis
08/11/09

In reply to Alex von Furstenberg Wants to Tell You Who Seduced His Fiancée
Well, Ms. Ali Kay broke up Alex's marriage (he has two small children)when she was 19, so the fact that she sent Reggie some cute pics of herself does not surprise me. Girl is a slut!! What does surprise me is that she would want to mess up a relationship with a man who is rich from three sides (his designer mommy; his royal late daddy; and his filthy rich step-daddy). I mean, child, don't mess up. There's too much money at stake here. If necessary, you can spend your days having ex-basketball stars as lovers, just keep it on the down low!! You gotta work this right!!
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Island of Misfit Toys
08/11/09

A fling with a basketball player when she still needs to cross the community-property-finish-line with her multi moneyed bf? Amateur time, Ms. Kay.
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Island of Misfit Toys promoted this comment

GotlandMilk
08/11/09

@mslewis: How come Ali Kay, a nineteen-year-old kid broke up his marriage -- how come he didn't break up his own marriage. He was about 33 at the time! Why is the woman always blamed, not the philanderer. And this woman was a kid, who, really, had a lot less responsibility to know better than Von Furstenberg. Plus, why does everyone think she's after his money? Maybe she's rich herself, or maybe she's got a lot of other prospects.
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The One promoted this comment GotlandMilk was starred GotlandMilk was unstarred

The One
08/11/09

@GotlandMilk: If it makes you feel any better, he's not blaming her now, only the overrated ex-NBA player.
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kneetoe
08/11/09

@The One: Overrated?
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GotlandMilk
08/11/09

@The One: The commenter mslewis is blaming her -- but thanks for trying to make me feel better. It's always nice. Just to add another two-cents: why doesn't she get to sow her wild oats? How come only Alex Von Furstenberg does? He sowed them before his first marriage, during, and perhaps even during his time with Ali Kay. If she was only nineteen when they met, maybe she needs to spread her wings -- or whatever else -- and fly a bit. She deserves it. And who cares about his money? -- that's in answer to the "Island of Misfit Toys" commenter above. There are plenty, plenty of rich fish in the sea, especially if you're twenty-five, gorgeous, well educated, and athletic. All of which she is.
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Edited by GotlandMilk at 08/11/09 10:29 AM GotlandMilk was starred GotlandMilk was unstarred

The One
08/11/09

@kneetoe: Yes. Other than a decent outside shot, there was nothing extraordinary about him. That, and his big mouth.
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The One
08/11/09

@GotlandMilk: Well, as far as I'm concerned, Ali and Alex are both sluts, and I have a difficult time mustering up any sympathy for either one in this situation. But that's just me...
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Nice Beaver
08/11/09

@The One: Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner! Fella left his wife and kids for a teenager? Douche! Gal fucks around on her fella? Douche! Neither of these two seem to be draped in glory here.
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No Day Like Friday
08/11/09

In reply to Alex von Furstenberg Wants to Tell You Who Seduced His Fiancée
Oh.

Okay. I thought some big guy seduced the dude in that picture. Which would have been sweet, and I mean that affectionately.
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valet_of_the_dolls promoted this comment Edited by No Day Like Friday at 08/11/09 9:40 AM No Day Like Friday was starred

valet_of_the_dolls
08/11/09

@No Day Like Friday: I know, right? That surf shop smells of overcompensation.
And Sex Wax.
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dragonhorse
08/11/09

In reply to Alex von Furstenberg Wants to Tell You Who Seduced His Fiancée
Can a third party file a restraining order?
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i'm a bottle promoted this comment dragonhorse was starred dragonhorse was unstarred

secretagentman
08/11/09

@dragonhorse: I know right? If you can, I'd like to get a restraining order against Matt Damon's wife, cause she is the only thing standing in our way.
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hollygirl
08/11/09

@dragonhorse: Good point. No. At least not in NY State.
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pufflehuff
07/15/09

In reply to Young Sulzberger Finally Dispatched to War Zone
Oh Young A. G., dump the journalism, I hear it's dying anyway, write me a humorous novel or three NOW. You dreamboat.
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