Last week, Keith Kelly said that McKinsey was drawing up a plan that specifically spares all of Conde Nast's titles, even the weakest. Today, Michael Musto says, with no sourcing, "the latest rumor is that they've been advised to fold five titles!" Woo, we have competing leakers here! It's like a game of magazine death tennis! Takeaway: Everybody's still waiting to see what happens.


A senior editor at High Times sez: "the magazine industry is down across the board but High Times is up. That says something. I think there are a lot of people out there growing weed on the side to make money. Weed is recession proof." Laid-off journalists gotta eat. And eat.


More Amish media news(!): Whilst the edgier brethren focus on bonnet porn, did you know that the largest Amish paper is maybe the most boring thing ever?

The national edition of The Budget, now available in print only, is largely composed of submissions from hundreds of volunteer "scribes" from across the country. Typically, a scribe talks about the weather and segues into the goings-on in the local community. Around 500 scribe letters a week take up roughly 50 pages

It's like reading 500 blogs a day! Oh Amish! More porn please!


"Eight things that journalism students should demand from their journalism schools." #1 should be: A refund! SO MANY RIMSHOTS.

The Richland County (SC) sheriff who arrested the revelers has said that "we do not believe we have enough evidence to prosecute anyone that was present at the November party." A party during which Phelps and friends got blazed and then some narc took a picture. So justice has been done, except for whoever took that photo. They should still be strung up by their thumbs.

Phelps also handily managed not to get arrested at all during this whole kerfuffle. No, all he suffered was millions of dollars in endorsement money. So, um... win?

Here's the lengthy full statement from the sheriff, Leon Lott, in which he explains why he pursued any silly charges in the first place:

I had nothing to do with Michael Phelps coming to Columbia and making a bad decision. He did that. His bad decision and the highly published photo placed me and the Richland County Sheriff's Department in a no win situation. Ignore it and be criticized or address it and be criticized. I chose to do what was right. While to some it may not have been the most popular decision, it was and is the right decision because of the law and the negative impact it could have on our children in Richland County.

Michael Phelps is truly an American sports hero. I, along with the rest of America, cheered his victories and felt pride when he stood on the podium to receive his medals.

Even with his star status he is still obligated to obey the laws of our state. He is not immune from his responsibilities to do what is right. He is also human and can make a mistake.

I took an obligation in my oath as Sheriff to enforce the law equally and fairly without any personal bias or prejudice.

With Michael Phelps I had to remove his medals, his hero status, and look at him as any other person.

I felt it was important that he be treated fairly, equally and that a message be conveyed that illegal drug use is illegal by anyone.

Our investigation focused on the possession, use and distribution of illegal drugs in Richland County. The incident in November only initiated our investigation, which resulted in the arrests of adults who were at the time of their arrests in possession of illegal drugs. Contrary to some, this was not a special investigation or one that impacted our resources on other crimes. This was in fact a short investigation and simple investigation conducted by narcotics investigators whose sole responsibility is to investigate drug violations. The time and resources were quite minimal when compared to other drug investigations. In the time this investigation was being conducted we solved a murder, ATM robberies and numerous other crimes.

The house of the November party had previously been the subject of a drug case and other crimes. The related house in Irmo had also been the subject of a previous drug case. Both locations were the source of problems in our community.

The charges of those arrested in this investigation will be handled as we do in other similar type arrests.

As with any cop, my responsibility is to enforce the law, not to create it or ignore it. Marijuana in the state of South Carolina is illegal and I am obligated to enforce the law again equally, fairly and without personal bias. I would have been remiss in my duty as Sheriff if I would have ignored the November incident and subsequent drug violations we discovered during our investigation.

By ignoring the November incident, I would have been sending a message of tolerance and condoning the use of illegal drugs. I could not do that, nor have I ever done that. I would be a hypocrite in view of our extensive Drug Abuse Resistance Education (DARE) program that I have been active in for many years. How can we teach kids through DARE not to do drugs, and then look the other way if it is an important person?

Our message has to be loud, clear, and consistent, don't do drugs.

I have always advocated that we cannot arrest our way out of the drug problem. We must do it through enforcement and education such as the DARE program utilizes.

Having thoroughly investigated this matter, we do not believe we have enough evidence to prosecute anyone that was present at the November party.

Michael Phelps and I agree that something positive needs to come from this incident and that is a message of not using drugs.

He can speak on this issue from his perspective.

My perspective is that the law pertains to everyone and our drug laws are to be enforced.

My hope again is that we all take this incident and make something positive from it. Parents please take this opportunity to talk with your children about illegal drug use. During my 34 years in law enforcement I have seen lives and communities destroyed due to drugs. We all must work together to protect our children and our communities. Now is the time to educate our young people, the decisions they make today can impact them for the rest of their lives.

Farmer, Cookie Maker, Ecologist, and Yes, The Future King [NYT]

So how did Vanity Fair manage such a tremendous comeback? Were the Veefers served pre-game HGH omelettes? Not so much. Instead, their sudden dominance was no doubt boosted by the magic of celebrity: Tom Hanks was in the stands, as his daughter Liz is the magazine's latest famous-spawn assistant. It's almost impossible to lose when you've got Jimmy Dugan on your side.

Softball 2006 [Vanity Fair]
Earlier: Gawker's Coverage of Media Softball

The legendary High Times bonghitters defeated the well-spoken kids from WNYC 9-2 last Thursday night, despite thunder, lightning, and enough rain to end the game after four and two-thirds innings. Meantime, we're finding it quite amusing the most diligent and responsible softball reports this summer are coming from the stoners. Ironic, ain't it?

Rainy Day Softball Stoners [Blooming Ideas]

Also, we dig the Van Halenish t-shirts.

Softball 2006 [VF.com]
Earlier: Media Softball: Bonghitters Bogart the Veefers

Bonghitters Rout Vanity Fair [Blooming Ideas]

Bonghitters' Streak to 3-0 [Blooming Ideas]

BusinessWeek's less-streaming report is after the jump.

RIVERSIDE PARK — A late-game rally wasn't enough for the Paris Review on Thursday night, as BusinessWeek rocked the highfalutin literary world and won its home opener, 13 to 5.

Dave Purcell pitched a gem on BusinessWeek's newly renovated, all-turf field, keeping the Paris Review hitless through the first three innings. Martin Sanchez and Burt Helm scored a home run each, while veterans Pradeep Varghese, Jonathan Byrne, Jen Girardier, Jan Simmonds, Jay Petrow, Craig Bell, and Jeff Fox all delivered with their usual aggressive, yet courteous, style of play. Promising rookies Kyle Sullivan and Janie Ho also put in solid performances. Brian Hindo hit into a fielder's choice, and did it with dignity. Well played ball!

We hope to see everyone next week when we take on DC Comics. The rest of the sked is below:

Thursday, April 20 (72nd St.) — Practice
Thursday, April 27 - High Times HT 12, BW 8, L
Thursday, May 4 (Riverside, 107th St.) - The Paris Review BW 15 PR 5, W
Thursday, May 11 —- DC Comics (6 p.m., DeWitt Clinton)
Thursday, May 18 (72nd St.) PRACTICE
Thursday, May 25 (Riverside, 107th St.) - The Wall Street Journal
Thursday, June 1 (Riverside, 107th St.) - Major League Baseball
Thursday, June 8 (Riverside, 107th St.) - Maxim
Thursday, June 15 (Riverside, 107th St.) - DC Comics
Thursday, June 22 (Riverside, 107th St.) - BusinessWeek biz side
Thursday, June 29 (72nd St.) PRACTICE
Thursday, July 6 (Riverside, 107th St.) - WNYC
Saturday, July 8 - (North Meadow) Wall Street Journal
Thursday, July 13 (Riverside, 107th St.) - High Times
Thursday, July 20 (Riverside, 107th St.) - Vanity Fair
Thursday, July 27 (Riverside, 107th St.) - Air America Radio
Thursday, Aug. 3 (Riverside, 107th St.) - The New York Times
Thursday, Aug. 10 (Riverside, 107th St.) - Fortune
Thursday, Aug. 17 (Riverside, 107th St.) - Dow Jones Wires
Thursday, Aug. 24 (Riverside, 107th St.) - BusinessWeek biz side

The legendary High Times Bonghitters softball team opened their 15th season with a 12-8 come-from-behind victory over Business Week. Next week's game is against The Onion.

Got more games? More details? Keep us posted, players...

Bonghitters Win Opener [Bloomingideas]

First, The New Yorker played Columbia Journalism Review on Tuesday night, and all we've heard is this terse dispatch from the vanquished:

We got crushed last night, man. I guess when you play one game, with about 30 minutes of practice beforehand, that's gonna happen.

The correspondent was too despondent to give much detail, or even a score, and to the best our knowledge there has not yet been a Dellinger wrapup circulated at The New Yorker.

Next, last night, The Nation played the mighty mighty High Times Bonghitters. Once again, we hear from the losers, who bury the lede — that lefty mag writers sometimes smoke pot. (Who knew?) The Nation's report:

The Nation was basically humiliated last night. High Times won 20-3. It kind of felt like we were the Falkland Islands and they were Britain and America.

They were still kind of cocky and attitudinal about it, but not nearly as obnoxious as they were last year. I don't think we made THAT many errors — it was just a case of them hitting almost every pitch we threw. They did share some kind of "experimental" baked goods with us though. And some of us partook of their after-game ceremony.

Finally, there was also an inter-Conde faceoff between Cargo and Vanity Fair last night, and there's a Today-GMA grudge match scheduled for today. We'll relay details on both as soon as we learn them.

As the man says, DEVELOPING...

Earlier: Softball

Coach D. makes up for lost time in this dispatch, a 1,200 word play-by-play of the High Times outing. Because we love you, it's after the jump.

From: Dellinger, Matt
Sent: Wednesday, August 17, 2005 9:55 PM
To: TNY Edit All; TNY Business All
Subject: You win some, you lose some

First of all, a bit of brief housekeeping: we beat Harper's 6-3 last week. I came down with a fever that night, not long after the Harper's publicist bought me a drink (coincidence, I think) and I suffered for days and failed to write a report. Until just now.

Ok.

NEW YORKER FALLS TO HIGH TIMES 6-4
After four innings tied, stoners win by a roach.

Calmed by their loss last week, and umpireless, the visiting Bonghitters eased nicely into our easy chair of low-intensity sportsmanship. Almost zero trash talking and chest beating last night. Instead, some damn fine softball.

Field "Field" Maloney jogged up to the game just as it began, removed his shirt, mopped himself with a bandana, folded the bandana very slowly and neatly, tied the bandana around his head, reapplied his shirt, took his post in left field, and caught the first out. Jonathan "Boom Boom" Shainin, cleverly positioned at short fielder (the Bonghitters can drop shallow) kept moving to other more conventional positions. Balls kept landing where he would have been standing. A run scored on an overthrow meanwhile, but finally Shainin stepped into place and caught the second out. Josh "babyface" Hersh got the third, a pop fly.

Hersh at the plate, a solid single past their accomplished shortstop. Corey "Sharpie" Tackman does the same. Ben "Babyface" McGrath flies out to right. Chris "Lillis" Meatto got Hersh to third (and Tackman out). Shainin brought Hersh home and put Meatto on second. Mort "the Fort" Gerber gets a hold of one and it drops into a centerfield gap. Meatto gets to third, rounds it, misses the "stay" and heads home. The throw too. He's tagged out. Inning over. 1-1.

Inning two: Shainin successfully shortfields again; McGrath to Corey at first; Maloney again. Short work. Even shorter at the plate. A pop-up and two ground outs. Still tied.

Inning three: Ed "Kalamity" Klaris on the mound. Meatto sucks one up in Center. McGrath and Hersh each get a grounder, throw tough ones towards first, testing Tackman and coming up clean. Ah, teamwork. Bonghitter coach Steve Bloom starts to ask "Don't the bases look a little FAR to you?" Well, no. And anyway, we have to run the same bases they do, which, er, is more than we could handle in the third. Zach "the Canine" Kanin grounds out. Klaris gets on with a single into right field, but he's thrown out at second on a grounder by Justin "Mr. Kamal" Vogt. Natasha "Honeybun" Lunn bunts a hot little single, but Louisa "Babyface" Thomas follows with a line drive to the shortstop, and it ends. Still 1-1.

Klaris barehands a grounder in the fourth and gets it to first in time. His glove's looking a little ratty, but he's had it since he was thirteen, and there's some things more important than catching things. Next, a long ball into right field. Oh dear. Lauren "Tom" Collins races the new guy, shortfielder Tim "Stretch" Farrington, for it. Farrington comes up with it. The batter, touching second, thinks it's a safe triple. Stretch disagrees. He hits Hersh, his cutoff man. Hersh turns and fires to McGrath. All of this comes off looking damn professional. The tag is placed. The greedy runner is out. Bloom mentions again the extraordinary length of the bases. None of our business, though — we won't be using them. Farrington flies out to center. Quinn "Kipp" Shamlian grounds out to, um, the catcher. And Collins, god bless her, strikes out.

In the fifth, Klaris' glove actually breaks and the teenage nostalgia is surrendered for the time being. Collins, our spare lefty, is brought in from Right field, rudely stripped of her glove, and replaced by Michael "Showtime" Schulman, who gets quite a scare when the next ball comes out that way. A run scores. Now the Bonghitters decide to pick on McGrath, who looks back the runner at third and makes a brilliant throw to first for out number one. Same thing on the next ball but the throw's high and Corey comes off the bag. Runner's safe. Run scores. Corey catches a pop fly for two. Then an impossible line drive down the third base line, off McGrath's glove, another run. Klaris stops the bleeding with his new generic glove and a safe throw to first. We respond with a whole lot of nothing. 4-1.

Sixth: Corey catches a pop fly at first. Hersh to Cory for out two. A single. A grounder to McGrath, who looks for Matt "slow burn" Dellinger at second but Dellinger's not there. Oops. Two men on. The bonghitter shortstop comes up. The outfield steps back, but not far enough. Deep right field. Farrington on the way. The two runners score. Batter thinks he'll join them. Farrington doesn't think so. He hits Hersh, his cutoff man. Hersh turns and fires home. Home is where Tim "The Smacker" Singer finds himself taking the same kind of hot throw he couldn't quite master a few games ago. Well no older brothers (or dad) around this time. Tim is well positioned and confident. He gets the throw, holds the ball, tags the cocky batter, and the home run is foiled. Foiled!

We answered their two runs with two of our own. Corey and McGrath started out with a couple singles. Shainin and Mort and Maloney collectively pushed the two leaders homeward, but were picked off in the process. 6-3.

Seventh inning. Getting dark now, which makes the long long bases even harder to deal with, I imagine. Except someone gets a triple just fine. No outs. Seems like he'll score. How could he not? A: Grounder to McGrath. McGrath without hesitation to Corey at first. The runner sees the throw and takes off to home. Corey lands the catch; the batter is out; he throws bravely home, where Tim Singer's ready again. He blocks the plate, puts the tag. 5-3-2 double play. Hersh tosses to Dellinger for the last out, and we charge in hungry to catch up.

Jilan "Ms. Vogt" Kamal grounds out. Zach Kanin grounds a hard-to-handle ball to third and even with the alleged really long bases and definite really short legs, he beats the throw. Klaris puts one into right, and Kanin leaps around the other bases in the ensuing confusion. Klaris fakes a bolt to second, they throw there, Zach takes the cover and sneaks home. Not enough, but something.....

The High Times squad did what they always do: they sang to us. "Take Me Out to the Bong Game" ("Buy me some reefer, not crack or smack / I don't need that monkey on my back....."). They distributed copies of their fine publication. And then they stood around enjoying the breeze and the honking of Canadian Geese.

Then they came to the bar, the first time in years. Oh, lots of pizza. Had to call back and get more. Watched some Comedy Central. Chilled. Dellinger, floating high on antibiotics and Yeungling, played the best pool game of his life against known billiards shark "Fast" Eddie Klaris, and called it a night.

Dellinger

We're two games below .500, with two games left.....

Tuesday, Aug 23 @ 7 pm
vs. Columbia Journalism Review

Tuesday, Aug 30 @ 7 pm
vs. Gawker Media

Earlier: Softball

The legendary High Times Bonghitters beat The New Yorker, 7-4, last night. Our 2005 record is 12-2. Our next game is vs. The Nation on 8/25. We finish the season with a doubleheader vs. Billboard on 9/11.

Now you know.

(The New Yorker's take on the game hopefully TK, if anyone over there would be so kind as to send over Coach Dellinger's dulcet words.)

Earlier: Softball

• Second, word that some locales take media softball even more seriously than New York does: A Milwaukee TV reporter used his station's Chopper4 (With PowerZoom!) to make it to a media-league softball game on time.

• Finally, a golden oldie: What we're told is the definitive text on High Times softball.

Reporter Strikes Out With Arrival by Helicopter [Milwaukee Journal Sentinel via Sploid]
Toke Me Out to the Ballgame [ESPN.com]

You should go watch. And someone be sure to tell us all about it tomorrow.

Earlier: Softball

This definitely has significant metaphoric meaning, though God knows what it is.

Earlier: Softball: The Stoners vs. The Man