A new national survey from Public Policy Polling has revealed some startling truths about the American public. Specifically, the fact that 5 percent of voters believe that Harambe, the dead ape widely understood to be in Ape Hell, is the best possible candidate for President of the United States.

Donald Trump’s efforts to weasel out of debating Hillary Clinton have hit a peak, as the GOP presidential nominee has repeatedly blamed his opponent for the scheduled debates that were approved by the bipartisan Commission on Presidential Debates nearly a year ago. That lie apparently not being bold enough, Trump has…

Last season on “Donald Trump Is Terrified of Being Humiliated by People Who Actually Know What They’re Talking About,” Trump set a precedent of laying groundwork for his debate ditching long before the actual debate could take place. And now, season two Trump is gearing up to be just as craven.

In an attack that apparently came from a Russian intelligence agency—and that may or may not be related to similar recent cyber attacks on other Democratic party organizations—computer systems tied to Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign have been hacked, New York Times and Reuters reported on Friday.

These videos are better than winning $1 million.

As we leave the “Feel-Good Personality Propaganda Celebration” period of the campaign and move into the part where we think about the stuff that may or may not actually get done, here is a relevant data point.

Hillary Clinton took the stage last night to make her historic acceptance speech, but male pundits wondered: Didn’t she sound a little... shrill? Wasn’t she... maybe... shouting? Can’t she do something about her... tone? Welcome to the next four months of nuanced, non-sexist political commentary, which also functions…

PHILADELPHIA — Making a late-night appearance at a post-DNC party early this morning, a vivacious and enthusiastic Governor Terry McAuliffe asserted to Gawker not only that Hillary Clinton is not at risk of changing her position on TPP, but that she had “never supported it and never would.”

Thursday night, Business Insider’s Oliver Darcy obtained a memo from BuzzFeed editor-in-chief Ben Smith simply titled “🇺🇸👀” reminding news division staff not take “partisan stands on social media” as they enter “the home stretch” of this year’s election.

On Thursday, Hillary Clinton formally accepted the Democratic party’s nomination for president, making her the first woman ever to be nominated. Here’s the full text of her historic speech:

On Thursday night, Hillary Clinton took the stage at the Democratic National Convention to become the first woman ever to be nominated for president by a major party. Standing before a crowd of thousands of supporters, Clinton accepted, saying, “When there are no ceilings, the sky’s the limit.”

PHILADELPHIA — Tonight in front of thousands of people, Hillary Clinton came out [BEAMING? TK]. And as she made her way to the podium, on what is perhaps the biggest night of her career thus far, Hillary Clinton [TYPE OF FALL TK] right on the DNC stage.

This is an incredible night to be absolutely anyone other than Donald Trump. Let the owns continue.

The past two weeks have been a rollercoaster of political emotion and deadening boredom, and boy, are we tired.

Are you sitting down? You should sit down. There is some earth-shattering commentary about current events you must read from Jeffrey Wells, a film critic.

PHILADELPHIA — Because of traffic following President Obama’s speech at the Wells Fargo Arena, celebrity guests didn’t arrive at the red carpet of the Creative Coalition Gala featuring Fergie until nearly 1 a.m. The few attending reporters and photographers stared tiredly at each other while we waited, downing vodka…

“For many Clinton donors, particularly those from the financial sector, the convention is a time to shed what one called the ‘hypersensitivity’ that had previously surrounded their appearance at Mrs. Clinton’s fundraisers.”

Welcome to ConBag, a daily roundup of gossip from the Democratic National Convention, which we are attending for four very long days.