However, in the high-stakes act-off between Tyra and Blake Lively, I think Tyra actually won. That's kind of like being the world's chastest hooker, but as long as you're not in last place, you're not fairing too shabby. Too bad there were plenty of people on the bottom last night as we saw everyone grabbing for a little bit of control. Except Dorota. She's got everything in check.

Dorota:
Power Play: Tells Blair that it's silly to mess with the Constance girls: +3, Can throw a hell of a slumber party: +2, Waters down the martinis: -1
Total: 4
Season to Date: 28
Power Position: Down

Georgina:
Power Play: Didn't make one appearance all episode: -20, Still manages to loom over everything ominously like an evil specter in heels: +5
Total: -15
Season to Date: 8
Power Position: Down

Chuck:
Fashion Points: Only Chuck Bass could pull off a white tux: +3
Personality Flaw: Excessive reference to himself in the third person: -2
Power Play: Is concerning himself with high school politics: -1
Quip: "What do you espect from a place where men wear sandals": +1
Sexual Intrigue: Let's Blair know that the best thing about her is that she is dating him: +2
Social Schemes: Convinces Jenny to grab the power: +2, His "bring Jenny to the premiere" gambit totally works: +3, The "hire the paps to photo Blair" gambit is also a rousing success: +2
Total: 10
Season to Date: 7
Power Position: Up

Dan:
Personality Flaw: His pop cultural stupidity pays off for a change: +1
Power Play: Only gets invited to the premiere because of stupid Vanessa: -2
Sexual Intrigue: Picks up a hot girl on the street: +2, Is too stupid to know that she is a big Hollywood star. Put down the Milan Kundera and pick up an Us Weekly, Dan: -2, Gets dumped by the star for being just too damn awesome: -1, Has his second fancy girlfriend without even trying: +4
Total: 2
Season to Date: 4
Power Position: Down

Blair:
Personality Flaw: Excessive reference to herself in the third person: -2
Power Play: Wanders into a He-Man lover's support group: -1, Won't go to a movie premiere because she's having a sleep over: -3, Still gets into the premiere when she deigns to go, and doesn't even need an invite: +1, "They don't care that I'm Blair Waldorf": +1 (consolation point), Gets her picture taken by the paps: +1, Chuck set it up: -2, Her confidence is back so watch out, world: +1
Sexual Intrigue: Chuck cares enough to scheme against her: +1
Social Schemes: Has to go back to Constance to feel powerful. Sad: -4, Unseats Jenny Humphrey as Queen with the wave of a wand: Even, Finally gets herself some NYU minions: +4
Total: -3
Season to Date: -4
Power Position: Down

Olivia:
Fashion Points: Wears a fedora and a retro T-shirt in public during the day. She can afford a publicist, but doesn't have a stylist?: -2, No, she must not, because someone let her wear that dress to the premiere: -3
Personality Flaw: Has landed face down in the Gossip Girl swamp. She bumps into Dan twice, rooms with Vanessa, and sits next to Serena at lunch all in the same afternoon. What are the odds?!: -3, Her trying to be Kate and Olivia reminds us of Jem and Jerrica: +2, It also reminds us of how much Dan looks like Jerrica's boyfriend Rio, and that makes us laugh: +2
Power Play: The only friend she has to talk to is stupid Vanessa: -1
Sexual Intrigue: Let's Dan woo her: -1, Dumps Dan: +2, Goes back to Dan because he thinks she's "normal": Even (Dan is looking pretty good these days)
WTF: How is this girl famous, she can't even do a good German accent!: -2
Total: -4
Season to Date: -4
Power Position: Even

Nate:
Personality Flaw: He saw the fake Twilight movies Olivia starred in: -1
Sexual Intrigue: Where is his girlfriend?: -1
Social Schemes: Convinces Dan to go after famous Olivia, because he thinks it's funny that Dan doesn't know that she's Hilary Duff and, like, super famous: +2, That "Oh, man" face he made after Dan walks away was the best bit of acting that Chace Crawford has ever done: +1
Total: 1
Season to Date: -19
Power Position: Up

Serena:
Family Secrets: Tells Lily she's not going to Brown: +1 (for honesty), Tells Lily she's not going to Brown: -2 (for stupidity), Lies to Ursula to save her job: +1
Personality Flaw: Is so stupid that she can't even be a PR girl for a day. Isn't their jobs to sit in packs of five while one does all the work and the other four furiously check their Blackberries?: -3, Believes she got the job because "someone believes in her." Yeah right, someone believes in her like an amputee believes his arm is still there: -2
Power Play: Gets a glowing recommendation from Anna Wintour: +10, It still can't get her a job with Tory Burch, Marchesa, or the APF: -5, Finally gets a job: +1, It's in publicity. Ew: -4, Has a big movie star best friend: +2
Sexual Intrigue: What happened to Carter?: -1 (because we don't like him that much)
Social Schemes: Finds Ursula's ring: +1, Gets played by her new mean boss: -2, Somehow manages to know what she's talking about when she advises Ursula: +5, Still gets fired—and from being a PR girl: -4,
Total: -2
Season to Date: -19
Power Position: Even

Scott:
Family Secrets: You only told your secret last week, and already nearly everyone has forgotten about you: -2, Georgina knows your secret and she is going to fuck you up: -4
Sexual Intrigue: Vanessa still wants it: +1
Total: -5
Season to Date: -26
Power Position: Even

Rufus:
Family Secrets: Is he going to bother to tell Lily that their spawn had a stalker adoptive brother?: -2
Personality Flaw: Has not only forgotten about his gothy daughter, but also his new fake son: -3, He and his billionaire wife only seem capable of attending social events that revolve around the lives of 18 year olds: -3, Lily blames Serena's antics on Rufus' horrible parenting skills: -2
Power Play: Makes fun of Lily with Serena: +2, Helps Serena make bad decisions: -1,
Total: -9
Season to Date: -29
Power Position: Up

Vanessa:
Fashion Points: Now that you have a famous roommate the paps will be watching you, so no more wearing horrible hanky top things: -3, Or that dress you wore to the premiere: -1
Power Play: Gets a famous roommate: +2, Gets to take Dan to a fancy event for a change: +2, Her new famous roommate only has her to confide in: +1
Sexual Intrigue: Forgives crazy psycho Scott: -2, Then he goes and disses her to take a call from Georgina: -3
Total: -4
Season to Date: -41
Power Position: Up

Jenny:
Fashion Points: Says no to the ugly mirror-encrusted Lady Gaga reject headband of power: +2, Spawned a million raccoon-eyed dopplegangers: -3, Cute shoes at the premiere: +1
Personality Flaw: Thinks she can change the world. Oh, poor naive Jenny: -3, Lets her mute gay sidekick actually speak: -1
Power Play: Finally accepts that she is the new mean girl and gets her minions to buy her free yogurt: +4
Social Schemes: Disbands the mean girls: +2, They get Blair to unseat her: -3, Teams up with Chuck to get Blair: +1, Chuck's plot to get Blair wouldn't work without her: +1
Total: 1
Season to Date: -53
Power Position: Up

Lily:
Family Secrets: No one bothers to tell her about her child's fake evil brother that is really her devil spawn: -3
Fashion Points: She's back, and you can't even tell she had work done: +5, Is wearing a floral print metallic top just like Blair's from last episode. No good being one step behind: -1
Personality Flaw: Can not get Serena to go to Brown no matter what she does: -4, Doesn't even say hello to her mute gay son when she returns home from "visiting grandma": -3
Total: -6
Season to Date: -73
Power Position: Up

Ursula:
Fashion Points: Other than that mascara on her face, she doesn't look horrible crying in a bathroom and that is hard to pull off: +3
Personality Flaw: Trusts stupid Serena to do something other than pout, make bad decisions, and go to parties: -30, Goes through an entire episode of Gossip Girl without using the exposure to vainly attempted to make her neologism "smize" (you know, smile with your eyes) happen: -50
Power Play: Talks to Serena on the couch like she talks to the contestants on America's Next Top Model: +2, Gets the best work she's ever done cut from the movie: -4
Quip: "You know you have surrounded me with amateurs," you mean like the producers of GG did by hiring you to act, Tyra?: -3
Social Schemes: Figures out that her mean publicist is lying to her: +2, Gets Serena her job back: +5, It's still a PR job: -4
Bonus: Just for being crazy enough to try to act on Gossip Girl and letting everyone pick on you: +1
Total: -78
Season to Date: -78
Power Position: Down

• Lindsay Lohan, America's favorite walking Petri dish of human social disease, has been celebrating her birthday for weeks now it seems, but this weekend is finally the official birthday party, and she's being paid $70,000 to host a party for herself at the MGM Grand in Vegas. [Page Six]
  
  
• Meghan McCain's sure to be shitty book isn't even out yet but she's already laying it down that she wants Hillary Duff to play her in the movie Hollywood makes out of the book because she's "really hot." Oh, and she wants Bradley Cooper to be in it to because he's "so hot." Meghan McCain is Paris Hilton. [Gatecrasher]
  
  
• Farrah Fawcett was laid to rest yesterday. Her former Charlie's Angels co-stars turned out and her son Redmond was released from jail for the funeral. [Sun]
  
  
• The photographer who took the photos of Michael Jackson on stage during his last rehearsal says that Michael felt reborn and energized to be on stage again and performed for an hour and a half without a glitch. [Mirror]
  
  
• Creepy old lizard Larry King refuses to fly on commercial planes. Instead he gets around by private jet, which is probably a good thing, because who'd want to sit next to Larry King on a cross-country flight? [Page Six]
  
  
• Courtney Love's doctors have diagnosed her with having malnutrition and basically told her that she needs to get some meat and potatoes in her or she's going to die. [Mirror]
  
  
• Fox is really desperate to hold on to Simon Cowell for the next season of American Idol. So much so that they're offering him $144 million bucks, 4 times the $36 million he made last season, to stick around. [Daily Mail]
  
  
• Former New York Times head honcho Howell Raines is spending his days fishing in the creek like an old country hick. [Page Six]
  
  
• Some British billionaire's wife had to be carried out of Guy Ritchie's pub after she partied the night away with young buck Justin Timberlake. Jessica Biel was not reported to be around. [Daily Mail]