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New York, 11:14 PM
Tue Dec 8
47 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #himom more →

    Mother's Day, Professional Help Needed: I'm A Bad Son, What Do I Do?

    Barbara Streisand Has Assistant With Tony Montana Complex
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of bigleggedwoman bigleggedwoman
    05/11/09

    In reply to Mother's Day, Professional Help Needed: I'm A Bad Son, What Do I Do?
    My birthday is near Mother's Day and that didn't seem to help. In fact, this year both events were cancelled due to lack of interest.
     Reply
    bigleggedwoman was starred bigleggedwoman was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    05/10/09

    In reply to Mother's Day, Professional Help Needed: I'm A Bad Son, What Do I Do?
    "Okay, so, better question: how do I get my Mom to not care about Mother's Day? Enlist her in the IDF?

    hmm, well it also helps for her to have a birthday that's really close to mother's day, like my mom does."


    I don't get this. How does this get her to not care about mother's day?

     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of bigleggedwoman bigleggedwoman
    05/11/09

    @Uncle_Billy_Slumming: Evidently she's been conditioned not to EXPECT anything special for Mother's Day (TM).
     Reply
    bigleggedwoman was starred bigleggedwoman was unstarred
    Image of DeadliestSin DeadliestSin
    05/10/09

    In reply to Mother's Day, Professional Help Needed: I'm A Bad Son, What Do I Do?
    This is the only upside I can see to my mother being dead. No dissapointment to be had.
     Reply
    DeadliestSin was starred DeadliestSin was unstarred
    Image of onehotmess onehotmess
    05/10/09

    In reply to Mother's Day, Professional Help Needed: I'm A Bad Son, What Do I Do?
    my sister sent momma a text saying "happy m.d." and my slacker brother is crashing at the rents house and sleeping away a hangover in the basement. so, i think im finally the favorite today! at least i sent a card & called.
     Reply
    onehotmess was starred onehotmess was unstarred
    Image of PandoraSpocks PandoraSpocks
    05/10/09

    In reply to Mother's Day, Professional Help Needed: I'm A Bad Son, What Do I Do?
    I settle for text messages these days.
     Reply
    PandoraSpocks was starred PandoraSpocks was unstarred
    Image of ACunta Kinta ACunta Kinta
    05/10/09

    In reply to Mother's Day, Professional Help Needed: I'm A Bad Son, What Do I Do?
    So you're jewish? My top two hardon fantasy ethnic types.


    Sorry Kara. You are my top fantasy ever, but you need to shed the whole Scientology thing and I'll be all like Swedish is the shit. Until then, you are a nutty Scientologist. But I love you with all my heart and all my soul.


    Come home Kara. Come home!

     Reply
    ACunta Kinta was starred ACunta Kinta was unstarred
    Image of ACunta Kinta ACunta Kinta
    05/10/09

    @ACunta Kinta: Eh fuckit. Jezebel is going to delete this screenname anyway. You soft piece of shit pining away for the love of your life only being allowed calls every 3 fucking weeks...


    David Fucking Miscaviage. I've been coming for you near over 2 years and the body blow is coming soon.


    Ya midget mother fucker.

     Reply
    ACunta Kinta was starred ACunta Kinta was unstarred
    Image of aurora*raby aurora*raby
    05/10/09

    @ACunta Kinta: I love you, you bad, bad waking dream on a chilly morning with no heat or hot water. I wish I were Kara. I love your comments. I could spend could eternity reading them.
     Reply
    aurora*raby was starred aurora*raby was unstarred
    Image of aurora*raby aurora*raby
    05/10/09

    @aurora*raby: meant: could spend an eternity
     Reply
    aurora*raby was starred aurora*raby was unstarred
    Image of Almostbanned Almostbanned
    05/10/09

    In reply to Mother's Day, Professional Help Needed: I'm A Bad Son, What Do I Do?
    My mother is a lunatic for mothers day. God help us if we don't have something prepared that required at least some advance planning and a good degree of thought as to what she wanted or could use.


    And if it doesn't quite meet those standards, believe me you know about it. She will not think twice about saying 'what the hell is this' or 'are you fucking serious with this shit' or 'take this back' or something of the sort. Christmas is like this also.


    Come to think of it, it's probably not an altogether healthy situation actually.

     Reply
    Almostbanned was starred Almostbanned was unstarred
    Image of NewsBunny NewsBunny
    05/10/09

    @Almostbanned: My mother LOOOOVES her presents, too.


    But my father will not ask her what she wants -- Birthday, Xmas, Mother's Day.


    So I get a call. Dad, whispering, so Mother cannot hear.


    Dad: Daughter. I need your help.


    Me: Yes, Dad.


    Whispering Dad: I need you to find out what your mother wants.


    Me: Okay. (hangs up, calls mother on cell)


    Me: Hi, Ma. Dad wants to know what you want.


    Ma: OH, I want blah blah blah. And he can get it here and here. But here has the best price. I have circulars you can mail him.


    Me: Calls Dad back.


    I've been doing the same shit for 15 years now.

     Reply
    NewsBunny was starred NewsBunny was unstarred
    Image of WindowSeat WindowSeat
    05/10/09

    In reply to Mother's Day, Professional Help Needed: I'm A Bad Son, What Do I Do?
    I'm so glad the slots casino went paperless and sells gift cards because the peanut butter jar full of quarters seemed so impersonal.
     Reply
    WindowSeat was starred WindowSeat was unstarred
    Image of Parker Lewis Lost Parker Lewis Lost
    05/10/09

    @WindowSeat: Good call. In honor of the postage increase this week, I bought mine a book of "Forever" First-Class Stamps, to symbolize my love for her. (Used one to mail them to her, but she didn't seem to mind.)
     Reply
    Parker Lewis Lost was starred Parker Lewis Lost was unstarred
    Image of LucilleMcGillicuddy LucilleMcGillicuddy
    05/10/09

    @Parker Lewis Lost: This is unrelated to the topic -

    I love your screen-name. Always wondered what was going on with Ms. Musso

    and Frank.
     Reply
    LucilleMcGillicuddy was starred LucilleMcGillicuddy was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    05/09/09

    In reply to Barbara Streisand Has Assistant With Tony Montana Complex
    How delicious. And if you want to really get into Babs' sinuous craw, mention "Kenneth Adelman" and then run for the high country.
     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of Rumpelstilskin Rumpelstilskin
    05/09/09

    In reply to Barbara Streisand Has Assistant With Tony Montana Complex
    Bab's employees are the luckiest people in the world.
     Reply
    Rumpelstilskin was starred Rumpelstilskin was unstarred
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