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New York, 1:51 PM
Wed Dec 9
47 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Brooklyn's Hottest Stereotypes in Battle of Bike Lane Martyrs

    Baruch Herzfeld —

    Prohibition for Pansies: Bathtub Bootlegging Hipster Juice

    Peel Your Ears While I Vomit on the Table: Learn to Speak Hipster

    Shoplifting From The Place Where Brain Cells Come From

    The National Pork Board Does Not Endorse Eating Cats

    Is Hoodie Nation in Full Retreat?

    Pabst Brewing Co. Sale Sure to Be 'Hip' (Ha)

    Crack, Ugh.

    Today's Hipster Grifter News: Cellmate, Porn
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of ♥AntiSocialSocialite♥ ♥AntiSocialSocialite♥
    01:06 PM

    In reply to Brooklyn's Hottest Stereotypes in Battle of Bike Lane Martyrs
    Does anyone really self-identify as a hipster, Mr. Hechtropf? And hipsters aren't the only people riding bikes in Brooklyn.

    I'm Team Cycles.
     Reply
    ♥AntiSocialSocialite♥ was starred ♥AntiSocialSocialite♥ was unstarred
    Image of AzureTexan AzureTexan
    12:06 PM

    In reply to Brooklyn's Hottest Stereotypes in Battle of Bike Lane Martyrs
    With regard to that white-painted cyclist figure on the cold hard pavement, are they just getting a jump on the inevitable chalk outline?
     Reply
    AzureTexan was starred AzureTexan was unstarred
    Image of Smitros Smitros
    11:58 AM

    In reply to Brooklyn's Hottest Stereotypes in Battle of Bike Lane Martyrs
    There are times I feel bad about not living in New York. This is not one of them.
     Reply
    Smitros was starred Smitros was unstarred
    Image of The Real JR The Real JR
    11:51 AM

    In reply to Brooklyn's Hottest Stereotypes in Battle of Bike Lane Martyrs
    I ride my bike to work every morning through Hasid town at the exact time when all those giant yellow school buses are making their pickups. They drive dangerously fast and then pull over sideways across the entire street to pick up those cute little Hasid tykes. Aside from the obvious fear of being run over and left for dead, I get a little nervous about being spit on. It's like a billion degrees out and I wear, at most, two articles of clothing. We're talking a dress and biker shorts here. I'm always fearful of getting a kosher lougie hawked right in my face for showing too much cleave.

    [tonightatthepit.blogspot.com]
     Reply
    The Real JR was starred The Real JR was unstarred
    Image of Spirit Fingers Spirit Fingers
    11:50 AM

    In reply to Brooklyn's Hottest Stereotypes in Battle of Bike Lane Martyrs
    I don't understand why religion is taking precedence over citizenship. No one is trying to encroach on places of worship, Yeshivas, or in private domiciles...and I would think that's pretty much where religious "ownership" begins and ends.

    I think the "hipsters" (Yah, they need a new name...the Granola Hoodies, or the Honey Bunches of Soy, perhaps) should file a suit against the city for discrimination.
     Reply
    Spirit Fingers was starred Spirit Fingers was unstarred
    Image of allyzay allyzay
    12:08 PM

    @Spirit Fingers: The city's technical reasons for removing the bike lanes were not religious; they sided with the safety concerns (note technical, no one in their right minds believes that the fact that it was Hasids complaining didn't help this along but keep in mind bike lanes have been removed in non-Jewish sections of the city for trumped up safety concerns as well), and bike lanes aren't a right - so how is this discrimination? I think what they did was awesome and hilarious but honestly? You don't need a bike lane to ride in the street - a better act of civil disobedience would be to just send parades of topless female cyclists (TOTALLY LEGAL IN NY, unlike graffiti) down the streets.
     Reply
    allyzay was starred allyzay was unstarred
    Image of ifionlyhadabeard ifionlyhadabeard
    12:22 PM

    @allyzay: But where will we ever find girls easily convinced into taking off their clothes in Williamsburg?
     Reply
    valet_of_the_dolls promoted this comment ifionlyhadabeard was starred ifionlyhadabeard was unstarred
    Image of Spirit Fingers Spirit Fingers
    12:29 PM

    @allyzay: I think if you can prove that one group's religious ideology contributed to some unfair action by the city, than yeah, in my book that's discrimination.

    But you know, I loathe the "Granola Hoodies" who frequent food eateries and stay for hours using the free wireless making us working schlubs have to lug our sandwiches back to the office in the rain, because you need to take up six chairs with your laptop, its accoutrements, all your iPhoneing/podding/yoga mats, and one fucking cup of coffee. So yeah, I could lodge a complaint, but I don't because it's been deemed acceptable for them to be there, even though free wireless isn't a right. Pffttt!
     Reply
    Edited by Spirit Fingers at 12/09/09 12:30 PM Spirit Fingers was starred Spirit Fingers was unstarred
    Image of lostarchitect lostarchitect
    12:59 PM

    @ifionlyhadabeard: I'll do some research and get back to you.
     Reply
    lostarchitect was starred lostarchitect was unstarred
    Image of Mike Jahn Mike Jahn
    11:43 AM

    In reply to Brooklyn's Hottest Stereotypes in Battle of Bike Lane Martyrs
    I'm uncertain how wise it is to refer to Orthodox Jews as "loathsome."

    That said, if one more "entitled" cyclist blows a whistle at me I'm going to clothesline him.
     Reply
    Mike Jahn was starred Mike Jahn was unstarred
    Image of lostarchitect lostarchitect
    01:01 PM

    @Mike Jahn: Where are they referred to as "loathsome"? The article describes hispters and hasidim as "loathed". The implication is that they are equally loathed by others in the city, not by the blog author.
     Reply
    lostarchitect was starred lostarchitect was unstarred
    Image of Niko Bellic Niko Bellic
    11:40 AM

    In reply to Brooklyn's Hottest Stereotypes in Battle of Bike Lane Martyrs
    The hipsters should do what Palestinians did about the direct route from Gaza to Egypt: dig a tunnel to go through.
     Reply
    Niko Bellic was starred Niko Bellic was unstarred
    Image of Richard Petty Bourgeoisie Richard Petty Bourgeoisie
    11:36 AM

    In reply to Brooklyn's Hottest Stereotypes in Battle of Bike Lane Martyrs
    Poor Piccochi. He's just trying to prove himself brave, truthful, and unselfish so he can become a real boy.
     Reply
    Richard Petty Bourgeoisie was starred Richard Petty Bourgeoisie was unstarred
    Image of The Real JR The Real JR
    11:36 AM

    In reply to Brooklyn's Hottest Stereotypes in Battle of Bike Lane Martyrs
    The thing is, the consistent pattern here is The Hasids vs. EVERYBODY. Period.

    Apart from all of the historical conflict between blacks and the Hasids in Crown Heights which many people just chalked up to the "silly negro" syndrome, you can't get more unreasonable than strong arming the City to cover up bike path lanes on a major biking thoroughfare just because you don't want "outsiders" biking down a particular public street. If you were so observant of your religion and trying to adhere to the whole "do not stare at a woman's bare elbow" thing, you wouldn't look.

    NY is not filled with closed, walled-off neighborhoods. This is ridiculous. This whole bending to the Hasids thing has been going on forever.
     Reply
    The Real JR was starred The Real JR was unstarred
    Image of Voyou_Charmant Voyou_Charmant
    11:11 AM

    In reply to Brooklyn's Hottest Stereotypes in Battle of Bike Lane Martyrs
    Wear some gloves, ne'er do wells!

    PS, your subscription to Adbusters is up, don't forget to renew.
     Reply
    Edited by Voyou_Charmant at 12/09/09 11:13 AM Voyou_Charmant was starred Voyou_Charmant was unstarred
    Image of ms_priestypants ms_priestypants
    11:16 AM

    @Voyou_Charmant: Let's hope they didn't buy that spray paint on Buy Nothing Day.
     Reply
    ms_priestypants was starred ms_priestypants was unstarred
    Image of Voyou_Charmant Voyou_Charmant
    11:47 AM

    @ms_priestypants: It must have been tough for them trying to decide if the spray paint would be better used to paint their $3000 bike a solid color, or restore the lanes they will be riding that bike in.

    Seriously, though. Watching them get paint all over their hands is unnerving.
     Reply
    Voyou_Charmant was starred Voyou_Charmant was unstarred
    Image of BettyCrocker BettyCrocker
    11:06 AM

    In reply to Brooklyn's Hottest Stereotypes in Battle of Bike Lane Martyrs
    In the spirit of the season:

    While hipsters grabbed their cocks by night while seated on the ground,

    They tried to repaint the bike lane, 'til Hasids beat them down,
    Til Hasids beat them down

    "Oy and gevalt!" the Hasids said,
    "Now call NYPD!"
    "We just don't like hipsters on bikes.
    They are so damn sexxxy!"

    The hipsters yelled: "You guys all smell!
    And fuck you through a sheet!
    We need a lane to share our pain
    While hogging up the streets!"

    The cops then said "Hey why can't youse just learn to get along?
    You both wear dumb hats, and drink cheap booze, and you all smell kinda strong!"

    All glory be to Billyburg
    With its diversity
    Hasids and hipsters hand in hand
    Neither truly sexxxy
    Neither truly sexxxy!!!!

    Aaaaaaamen!!!
     Reply
    BettyCrocker was starred BettyCrocker was unstarred
    Image of Gawkerodent Gawkerodent
    11:50 AM

    @BettyCrocker: I think you've nailed it.
     Reply
    BettyCrocker promoted this comment Gawkerodent was starred Gawkerodent was unstarred
    Image of BettyCrocker BettyCrocker
    11:56 AM

    @Gawkerodent: I was going for festive - it would make a good YouTube!
     Reply
    Edited by BettyCrocker at 12/09/09 11:57 AM BettyCrocker was starred BettyCrocker was unstarred
    Image of BaconCat BaconCat
    12:48 PM

    @BettyCrocker: +7 Internets to you.
     Reply
    BaconCat was starred BaconCat was unstarred
    Image of BettyCrocker BettyCrocker
    01:08 PM

    @BaconCat: XOXOX
     Reply
    BettyCrocker was starred BettyCrocker was unstarred
    Image of daveyjonesisdead daveyjonesisdead
    11:04 AM

    In reply to Brooklyn's Hottest Stereotypes in Battle of Bike Lane Martyrs
    I like this. And why stop at repainting? Why not just paint bike lanes everywhere?
     Reply
    daveyjonesisdead was starred daveyjonesisdead was unstarred
    Image of iplaudius iplaudius
    10:58 AM

    In reply to Brooklyn's Hottest Stereotypes in Battle of Bike Lane Martyrs
    I think they should have a bike lane, but it should only be used by radical lesbian nudist Muslim punk rockers. Serves everyone right.
     Reply
    iplaudius was starred iplaudius was unstarred
    Image of HaysiFantayzee HaysiFantayzee
    11:04 AM

    @iplaudius: You know, I'll bet there is a micro subculture in New York who would take you up on that.
     Reply
    iplaudius promoted this comment HaysiFantayzee was starred HaysiFantayzee was unstarred
    Image of iplaudius iplaudius
    01:38 PM

    @HaysiFantayzee: Muslim punk rock is definitely a real youth subculture. It seems cool, though I don’t know much about it. Apparently it all starts with a 2003 novel by Michael Muhammad Knight called The Taqwacores. (LA Times)
     Reply
    iplaudius was starred iplaudius was unstarred
    Image of DennyCrane DennyCrane
    10:56 AM

    In reply to Brooklyn's Hottest Stereotypes in Battle of Bike Lane Martyrs
    I can only hope this leads to some sort of West Side Story sequel.
     Reply
    DennyCrane was starred DennyCrane was unstarred
    Image of A Message To Rudy A Message To Rudy
    11:13 AM

    @DennyCrane: "Play It Shul, Boy"
    "I Feel Pretty (Verklempt)"
     Reply
    A Message To Rudy was starred A Message To Rudy was unstarred
    Image of topsy topsy
    11:23 AM

    @A Message To Rudy: Very good!
     Reply
    topsy was starred topsy was unstarred
    Image of D2theMatthews D2theMatthews
    12:42 PM

    @A Message To Rudy: Oh, goodness yes, +1
     Reply
    D2theMatthews was starred D2theMatthews was unstarred
    Image of A Message To Rudy A Message To Rudy
    01:23 PM

    @A Message To Rudy: "Watch where you're going in Will-iams-burg/
    Too much cleavage showing in Will-iams-burg/
    There's much to like here in Will-iams-burg/
    Lest you ride a bike here in Will-iams-burg/

    (Thanks to DennyCrane for the idea. It has legs. C'mon someone, get to it! This has the potential for a great West Side Story parody.)
     Reply
    A Message To Rudy was starred A Message To Rudy was unstarred
    Image of hamburgerhotdog hamburgerhotdog
    10:52 AM

    In reply to Brooklyn's Hottest Stereotypes in Battle of Bike Lane Martyrs
    Team Hipster.
     Reply
    hamburgerhotdog was starred hamburgerhotdog was unstarred
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