Speaking with Larry King stand-in Wolf Blitzer, an absolutely confused Falcon, explaining why he didn't come out of hiding when he heard his parents calling his name, blurted, "You guys said, that, um, we did this for the show." We assume he's referring to Wife Swap, a show upon which the family has appeared twice.

His father's initial response to the apparent confession? A disgraced "man."

Update: Daddy dearest later said he was "appalled" by intimations the family did this all for publicity. Simply appalled!

As evidence that rumors of Miley's demise "are swirling around the internet" GaySocialites.com points to this story at the Post Chronicle. But the Chronicle's item is itself just a denial of the rumor.

"This report is a hoax planted by cruel pranksters on Digg.com and the ever reliable Wikipedia.com. Miley Cyrus is very much alive. As per the report, Miley Cyrus died in a fatal car crash on the way to the set of Hannah Montana. The report goes on to state that the young starlet was on her way to the filming of the upcoming 'Hannah Montana' Series when her vehicle was reportedly hit by a large truck, according to internet reports."

Yet the only "internet reports" that the Post Chronicle offers up is this one from ThaIndian.com, which again clearly states that Miley is very much alive. That report links to the UrbandLegends blog, which offers a screen-grab of the notorious Yahoo News story. As UrbanLegends points out, Yahoo News sites as its source "Rueters" [sic].

Conclusion: Digg and Wikipedia should die.

1. It's scientifically impossible. Snopes already covered a similar hoax about cooking eggs with phones. As Snopes explains, the energy emitted by mobile phones isn't nearly powerful enough to sufficiently raise the food's temperature. A British TV show debunked the myth when it failed to even warm an egg under a pile of a hundred phones. And a YouTube commenter explains further: "A 1 kilowatt microwave takes around one minute to pop its first kernel, and that's in a closed environment. A cell phone transmitter operates from 0.1 to 1 watt, but this video shows these kernels popping almost immediately."

A poor grasp of science leads people to fear the technology around them. Everyone's vaguely aware that phones use radio waves, so they misapply the concept. The phones in the video are merely ringing, which only means they're receiving the radio waves that are always around us. If those waves popped popcorn, there wouldn't be an unpopped kernel left in the U.S.

2. It's got the same hallmarks of fakery as other viral videos.
Remember the viral Levi's ad and Ray-Ban ad? The actors in these videos have the same fake camaraderie. I always doubt a video's veracity when I hear someone say "Tell me you got that!" Strangely, no one ever seems to say that in real stunt videos: They know the cameraman got it, that's his damn job.

Okay, so who's making these?
These videos don't take much effort — just four phones and some time in Adobe Aftereffects. So anyone could have made them. But who would bother? Googling some of the video makers reveals they've been spamming blogs promoting their video. It's just one of the many annoying tactics born of YouTube, but at least it reveals that our creators are gunning hard to get a lot of attention for very little work.

That might be the behavior of a bad viral marketer. And I mean really bad — would any phone company actually contract videos like these? Can you sell phones by convincing stupid people that they'll fry their brains? Seems a bit counterproductive, but I'll admit it would be satisfying to see this uncovered as history's worst viral campaign.

Thanks to Cajun Boy for the tip.

"Bright Shiny Morning" is an execrable novel, a literary train wreck without even the good grace to be entertaining.

Written as an Altman-esque collage, it follows several parallel story lines that never coalesce. The idea is to trace a collective vision of the city, high and low, from Hollywood to the Valley to East L.A. — an attempt to get at the fluidity of Los Angeles.

There's Old Man Joe, a drunk who inhabits a bathroom on the Venice boardwalk and seeks mystical affirmation in a daily ritual. Or Amberton Parker, a St. Paul's and Harvard-educated Oscar-winning actor, who lives a perfect life with his wife and children and has a secret. (Bet you can't guess what it is.)

As a connective device, Frey interweaves a series of short passages outlining the history of L.A., beginning with the founding of the Pueblo and extending to the present day. Yet this strategy ends up as a metaphor for all that's wrong with the book. These bits read like encyclopedia entries, devoid of soul or personality, so generic as to be inconsequential, as if Frey has no interest or engagement in what he has chosen to write about.

That's the issue with "Bright Shiny Morning" — or one of them, anyway. Frey seems to know little about Los Angeles and to have no interest in it as a real place where people wrestle with actual life. There are obligatory riffs on freeways and natural disasters and a chapter on visual artists that lists "the highest price ever paid for a piece of their work in a public auction." There are also occasional installments of "Fun Facts" about the city, as if to give the illusion of a certain depth. Did you know that it is "illegal to lick a toad within the city limits of Los Angeles"? Neither did I. But I also don't know what this has to do with the larger story of the novel, except as another example of L.A. as odd and quirky, a territory in which we all "live with Angels and chase their dreams."

Frey, of course, intends this to be amusing, lighthearted and witty in tone. ("Learning fun facts is really an enjoyable, and sometimes enlightening process," he writes. "And, of course, it's fun too!!!") It comes off as two-dimensional, however, not to mention poorly written and conceived — much like the book's narrative elements.

More heart-warming examples of garbage being called garbage here.

A similar trap almost caught Diesel's Evans, who was holding an annual summit of cookbook authors at his store in Oakland's Rockridge neighborhood. A few hours before the event, someone who said he was Eric Gower, author of "The Breakaway Cook," called.
"If it was Eric Gower," said Evans, "it was a highly altered Eric Gower. He was calling to say, 'I can't be there; my car was stolen. I left my keys in my car with my computer, and when I came back from getting something to open it with, there was nothing but broken glass. And the computer had all the pictures I have of my mother."

...the caller was inconsolable: "Then he very quickly changed gears to, 'So I need you to send $150 by Western Union, and I can give you all of the information.' He sounded freaked out, maybe he's high strung — you know how chefs can be."

TSG says that the supposed FBI reports implicating Puffy et al. do not in fact exist in the FBI's database. The spelling mistakes, use of incorrect abbreviations, and the use of typewriter on the reports (authentic modern FBI documents are created on computers) coincides with Sabatino's own M.O. in the court filings he's done since he's been in jail.

The suspect documents contain information supposedly provided to agents in the FBI's New York office by an unnamed "confidential source." The records, which Sabatino himself has distributed, conveniently contain black redaction marks covering up the name of the agent (or agents) who prepared the "302s" as well as the corresponding FBI case number...

Additionally, an examination of the three documents revealed that the bodies of the respective "302s" were actually created on a typewriter (the "frame" of the reports is consistent with an authentic "302" template). In some instances, you can see where one letter was typed on top of an existing character, a so-called overstrike. In an interview, Bruce Mouw, a former FBI supervisor who headed the bureau's pursuit of John Gotti, estimated that agents ceased using typewriters about 30 years ago...

A comparison of the "302s" and Sabatino's own court filings shows that the authors of each set of documents share remarkably similar spelling deficiencies. For instance, the word "making" appears as "makeing" in both the "302s" and Sabatino's pro se court pleadings. Similarly, the authors also have difficulty with the word "during." It appears as "durring" in both sets of documents.

The LAT now says it's launching its own investigation into the matter. Puffy denied the LAT's initial story. If it does turn out to be the victim of a hoax, the paper could be facing one of the most dramatic challenges to its credibility ever.

[TSG]

90DayJane is a personal art piece about me. It was meant for me and
(what I ignorantly thought would be) a small number of people who
might find it on BlogSpot. It is the result of me tapping into the
darkest part of myself and seeing where it led.
What I have written and filmed, at its core, is from a place of truth.
I am the girl in the videos. I have great disappointment with my
generation and its obvious obsession with celebrity culture rather
than their fellow man, thus the former Chuck Palahniuk reference.
I wanted this blog to be about personal discovery and truth. But the
correspondences I have received have taught me more about those
qualities than I could ever express. 90DayJane has become its own
entity and has influenced me. In fact, it has changed my perspective
as a human being.
I feel a massive sense of responsibility to my art, but more
importantly the readers of this blog. My closeness to this project
must have made art seem like reality to many people. That is not a
reaction that I expected nor can I morally justify. This is why my
project, 90DayJane, will be taken down in the next few hours.
90DayJane was meant to mirror the tragic figure, Christine Chubbuck.
Newscaster Christine Chubbuck committed suicide in 1974 by shooting
herself in the head live on air. She was very vocal about her
depression to those around her and gave every indication of her exact
intentions leading up to the event. Sadly, no one reacted or helped
Christine and those left behind could only ask "why".
Her story both inspired and terrified me because I can truly empathize
with her rage and even her isolation. I wondered how Christine's life
and subsequent suicide would play out in our time. Would the internet
be yet another place of isolation to her or an escape? If she remained
vocal about her intentions would anyone bother asking "why" or even
noticing before the fact? Would the reaction (if any) of the public
change her intentions?
I thought this mirror might reflect the isolation everyday people feel
and the lack of true human connection on the internet.
It is my feeling that the internet is the best and worst example of
human interaction. This was painfully proven to me by reading every
comment and every email. I believe I owed that to everyone. I know we
all saw the dark side of the reactions in the blog comments. There was
so much hate, immaturity and apathy. But, I truly wish everyone could
see the beauty and honesty in the emails; many people feel like Jane
(me). People have been more real and heartfelt than I thought was
possible. I owe them a debt of gratitude for showing me the difference
between people's reactions and their true feelings. I understand.
I do want everyone to know that I accepted no money for 90DayJane
despite multiple offers from television, film, books, etc... I will
not release my identity and I ask not to be contacted for any type of
promotion. I want only for the people who wrote to me to know that I
hear them and feel the same way. Your emails touched me so much.
Please, share your thoughts with someone in your life or express them
in a positive way.

To everyone, please reach out to those around you. It's much harder to
ask for help than to offer it.

In the video above I created a PostSecret revealing this project for
what it is. I am in no way affiliated with them, but their site does
great work for suicide outreach. At any rate, PostSecret gives me both
strength and perspective whenever I read it. I hope it does the same
for you.

thx- 90DayJane