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You Are Now a Birdwatcher
Josh Lucas Will Not Shut Up About Yoga
Hippie Biological Warfare
Hypnosex Is the New Fallback Career
Rogue Doodler May Be Drawing You Now

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DennyCrane
07/16/09

In reply to You Are Now a Birdwatcher
All I see are Canadian geese pooping all over the place.
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Uncle_Billy_Slumming
07/16/09

@DennyCrane:

And making blended duck margaritas out of themselves.
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jasonelias
07/16/09

In reply to You Are Now a Birdwatcher
Bird watching: It's not just for Mr. Wilson anymore.
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HurtsSoGood
07/16/09

In reply to You Are Now a Birdwatcher
So the beer I drank while sitting in my deck chair watching mockingbirds chase my cat counts toward this $36B. Glad I could help the economy while sitting on my fat ass.
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Edited by HurtsSoGood at 07/16/09 12:59 PM HurtsSoGood was starred HurtsSoGood was unstarred

Pope John Peeps II
07/16/09

In reply to You Are Now a Birdwatcher
All data presented here are from the wildlife-watching section of the 2006 National Survey of Fishing, Hunting, and Wildlife-Associated Recreation (FHWAR).

Much confusion was resolved when a sharp-eyed proofreader noticed that the category of "birdwatching" included "all types of pornography including hardcore, teen, amateur, anal, girl on girl, girl on guy, 2 girls on guy, orgy...."
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ithabeleng metesunyane
07/16/09

In reply to You Are Now a Birdwatcher
I saw half a peregine falcon wing in the gutter at the corner of fifth avenue and 72nd street outside my apartment building on the way to work yesterday. VERY depressing.
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Pope John Peeps II
07/16/09

@ithabeleng metesunyane: You were just depressed because it had fallen out of your peregrine falcon and avocado sandwich.

You brute!
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ithabeleng metesunyane
07/16/09

@Pope John Peeps II:

I eat pigeon meat on a daily basis at the Chinese place across the street from my boyfriend's place down on Mott Street.
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Aaron Altman
07/16/09

In reply to You Are Now a Birdwatcher
Ways birdwatchers generated $36 billion:

1. Counting crows

2. Eating crow

3. "Freeeeeeeebird!"

4. Quothing the raven

5. Flipping the bird

6. Larrying the bird

7. Renting The Birds

8. Tweeting
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Accidental Billionaire
07/16/09

@Aaron Altman: Andrew bird. Falco from starfox. National mascot.

When the government pulls numbers to bring before the legislators, they're allowed to be creative. Afterall, numbers are beyond refute.
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Belabras: now with Kung Fu grip!
07/16/09

@Aaron Altman:
Hey, the bird is the word.
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SidAndFinancy
07/16/09

@Aaron Altman:

9. Flying the coop

10. Cardinal sinning

11. Beating the Orioles

12. Jaywalking

13. Fowl play

14. Malt duck
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SaraRueful
07/16/09

@Aaron Altman: How on earth could you forget choking the chicken?
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Aaron Altman
07/16/09

@SaraRueful: I believe that generates not a single cent at all. :-)
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blix
07/16/09

@Aaron Altman: A round of Wild Turkey. Do it for America.
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Aaron Altman
07/16/09

@SidAndFinancy:

15. Getting the worm, early.
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naugahydeinplainsight
07/16/09

@Aaron Altman: How about Spread Eagled?
Or the return of the Swallows.

And of course: Buy, buy blackbird.
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Edited by naugahydeinplainsight at 07/16/09 4:25 PM

SidAndFinancy
07/16/09

In reply to You Are Now a Birdwatcher
I think many of the respondents were actually Byrdwatching.
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Foster Kamer
07/16/09

In reply to You Are Now a Birdwatcher
The lack of a "fuckin'" prefix in the "birds" tag is greatly upsetting to me. These avian assholes don't deserve the dignity you gave them.
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BookishLookish
07/16/09

@Foster Kamer: Potty mouth.
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goetz
07/16/09

In reply to You Are Now a Birdwatcher
Does that mean we horked $36 billionworth of birdseed down the collective gullets of a bunch of birds, only to have it streaked greasily across our nation's windshields and dripping down the heads of statues?
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♥AntiSocialSocialite♥
07/16/09

@goetz: trickle down economics (ewwww) - because that's $36 billion worth of carwarshes - or however you mathematically extrapolate that.

irony upon ironies.
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Smitros
07/16/09

@goetz:

Somebody may file a suet.
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goetz
07/16/09

@♥Anti-SocialSocialite♥: Proof yet again that trickle-down economics doesn't work: what are the poor going to do with a bunch of bird crap?
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MisterHippity
07/16/09

In reply to You Are Now a Birdwatcher
I've got a birdfeeder in my yard, and sometimes I like to look at the birds it attracts. But that's not really "birdwatching," is it? I always thought that, to be a real birdwatcher, you had to dress funny and go marching off into the wilderness with binoculars around your neck.
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krismry
07/16/09

@MisterHippity: Plus hi power binoculars, spotter scope with tripod, camera with zoom lenses collection, a Sibley's, that's a 470 page bird i.d. book, plus driving 50 miles around five or ten rural type turnouts to figure out what kind of a swan that was, plus $50 a month for sunflower seeds, suet blocks, thistle chow, Mister Hippity's funny and expensive clothes from Filson or Barbour, with very little marching involved, mostly burning gasoline on these expeditions, plus Audubon dues for the magazine full of ads for gasoline burning vehicles. Lots of money in this hobby! But fading fast since global transfer of wealth from humans to cylon banking overlords made everyone into the Poors.
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ithabeleng metesunyane
07/16/09

@MisterHippity:

Stuffing your birdfeeder with birdfeed generally results in squirrel watching.
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Botswana Meat Commission FC
07/16/09

@krismry:
Sign me up!
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blix
07/16/09

@ithabeleng metesunyane: Which in turn encourages cat feeding. Ah, the joys of the savage garden.
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contradicto
07/16/09

In reply to You Are Now a Birdwatcher
Actually, my friend we just telling me the other day how she spent hours gazing out her window, watching a birdie gang bang.
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Uncle_Billy_Slumming
07/16/09

@contradicto:

Birdie gangbang krawwwwwk birdie gangbang.
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hurleyburley
07/16/09

In reply to You Are Now a Birdwatcher
$36 billion? How does looking at birds, even assuming that is something that people do, generate profit for anyone?
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BxgrlJeri
07/16/09

@hurleyburley: Duncraft. They're racking it in with all those squirrel baffles.
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lobstr
07/16/09

@hurleyburley: Remember that American Express commercial where this dick forgot his wife's birthday, and he's on the phone telling her that he has an awesome gift for her and was frantically staring around his office walls looking for something to make up -- he spots a bird out the window and goes "We're going to go birdwatching!.. in umm. uh.. (looks at his own necktie) .. in Thailand!..

and then they cut to the end scene where they are being taken down the Chao Praya in a rowboat by a Thai gondolier while they look at birds through binoculars, and she beams what a great gift!

Thank you, AmEx, for giving us the ability to conjure up ridiculously expensive excursions based on impulsive whims. What credit crisis, lulz?

Anyway, him. That's the one time where I can see someone blowing a lot of cash on fucking birdwatching. Though it was a fictitious scenario in a commercial, so, yeah, it never happens. Nevermind :p ..
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Edited by lobstr at 07/16/09 12:33 PM lobstr was starred lobstr was unstarred

SaraRueful
07/15/09

In reply to Josh Lucas Will Not Shut Up About Yoga
I purposefully do not do yoga EVERY DAY.
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Botswana Meat Commission FC
07/15/09

In reply to Josh Lucas Will Not Shut Up About Yoga
"I tried to do everything to be beaten and rundown, a sense of feeling that pain. I purposefully did not do yoga or go to the dog park or hang out in bright, beautiful places."

I consider NOT EVER going to a dog park an essential part of my lifestyle.
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rabbitangstrom
07/15/09

In reply to Josh Lucas Will Not Shut Up About Yoga
That describes me completely, as long as you replace the word yoga with drinking.
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homoviper
07/15/09

@rabbitangstrom: Same here, but replace drinking with smoking.
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rabbitangstrom
07/15/09

@eXXX: I wouldn't be surprised if more than a few folks around these parts would agree, subbing in perhaps coffee, cocaine, or what have you.
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