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New York, 11:36 AM
Fri Nov 27
11 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Molester Santa Won't Go Away

    Disinvite your favorite reporter from the Google holiday party

    Celebrate the medical condition that makes Silicon Valley great

    Happy belated Easter, Valleywag readers!

    Forget your Document Freedom Day gift? No nookie for you!

    Google's doodle dilemma

    Happy Pi Day!

    You people trust Google more than your own family

    How the corporations wished you a Merry Christmas
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of lawyergay lawyergay
    05/11/09

    In reply to Molester Santa Won't Go Away
    Apparently there was some class action suit or something (a class action Santa suit?) against one of these companies because in order to cancel your order, you had to present a notarized document from your doctor to the effect of "My patient's tiny penis has not benefited from your product and is still ludicrously tiny."
     Reply
    lawyergay was starred lawyergay was unstarred
    Image of skahammer skahammer
    05/11/09

    In reply to Molester Santa Won't Go Away
    You have to admit that there's some kind of genius at work in these commercials. They're mesmerizing.
     Reply
    skahammer was starred skahammer was unstarred
    Image of iplaudius iplaudius
    05/11/09

    In reply to Molester Santa Won't Go Away
    I’m not buying anything until they show me the goods. Put your money where your mouth is, and so forth.
     Reply
    iplaudius was starred iplaudius was unstarred
    Image of Hydroceph Hydroceph
    05/11/09

    @iplaudius: or your mouth where the goods are?
     Reply
    Hydroceph was starred Hydroceph was unstarred
    Image of iplaudius iplaudius
    05/11/09

    @Hydroceph: Thank you. I didn’t volley that shit for nothing.
     Reply
    iplaudius was starred iplaudius was unstarred
    Image of Hydroceph Hydroceph
    05/11/09

    @iplaudius: I aim to please.
     Reply
    Hydroceph was starred Hydroceph was unstarred
    Image of City_Dater City_Dater
    05/11/09

    In reply to Molester Santa Won't Go Away
    The coy bimbo who promises that whatever bundle of inert herbs she's shilling will have an enlarging effect on a "certain part of a man's body" is even scarier than Bob, The Enzyte Pervert.
     Reply
    City_Dater was starred City_Dater was unstarred
    Image of NewsBunny NewsBunny
    05/11/09

    In reply to Molester Santa Won't Go Away
    It's on because, as the song says, we are supposed to keep Christmas with us -- all through the year.
     Reply
    NewsBunny was starred NewsBunny was unstarred
    Image of BadUncle BadUncle
    05/11/09

    In reply to Molester Santa Won't Go Away
    I'm just stunned that they're able to advertising penis enlargement with a pill. We all know it requires a Swedish vacuum pump and a 450 rem exposure to radium.
     Reply
    BadUncle was starred BadUncle was unstarred
    Image of SultanaEleusis SultanaEleusis
    05/11/09

    In reply to Molester Santa Won't Go Away
    Does Enzyte come with a free botox smile? Is that what happened to Nancy Pelosi?
     Reply
    SultanaEleusis was starred SultanaEleusis was unstarred
    Image of El Matardillo El Matardillo
    05/11/09

    @SultanaEleusis: She rode in an elevator with Harry Reid.
     Reply
    El Matardillo was starred El Matardillo was unstarred
    Image of El Matardillo El Matardillo
    05/11/09

    In reply to Molester Santa Won't Go Away
    Sham-Wow!
     Reply
    El Matardillo was starred El Matardillo was unstarred
    Image of Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate
    05/11/09

    In reply to Molester Santa Won't Go Away
    Though it is slightly less annoying than "Head-on, apply directly to your head, (repeat, repeat, repeat)" in loud angry voice.
     Reply
    Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate was starred Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate was unstarred
    Image of Hydroceph Hydroceph
    05/11/09

    In reply to Molester Santa Won't Go Away
    The only question more confounding than "Why was this fake dick pill commercial starring grinning penis-flaunting Santa Claus made?" is "Why is it running now, in May?" It's always on.


    Perhaps it's some kind of meta-advertising, indicating that much like this commercial, the endowments bestowed by this miracle pill make one's penis always on.

     Reply
    Hydroceph was starred Hydroceph was unstarred
    Image of Cheap Shot Cheap Shot
    05/11/09

    In reply to Molester Santa Won't Go Away
    This commercial really frightens me. I know it's making fun of retro ads but there's something mind controlling about it.
     Reply
    Cheap Shot was starred Cheap Shot was unstarred
    Image of Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate
    05/11/09

    @Cheap Shot: Especially they way they play it twice in a row.
     Reply
    Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate was starred Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate was unstarred
    Image of mmstk101 mmstk101
    05/11/09

    @Cheap Shot: I'm totally going to have nightmares. His smile is chilling.
     Reply
    mmstk101 was starred mmstk101 was unstarred
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