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canada
calling bullshit
Happy Happiest Day of the Year Day!
Hey everyone it's the happiest goddamn day of the year! You probably read as much in your local paper? According to a scientist—a scientist!—June 20 is the happiest day of 2008. He uses a mathematical formula to prove it! With science! Look, here is the equation: O + (N x S) + Cpm/T + He. The scientician who developed this formula is named Cliff Arnall. If that name is familiar, it may be because you read him calling January 22 the saddest day of the year. In 2007. And 2006, and 2005. The story runs, twice a year, like clockwork, in newspapers across the US and the UK. All because a quack psychologist is more than happy to sign a check from some corporation and then attach his name to a press release. It's the happiest day of the year for newspaper editors desperate to fill a news hole on a summer Friday! [Mind Hacks]
arise ye starvelings from your slumbers
Happy May Day (And Also Law Day)
It's May Day! International Workers' Day! When we get together and march with our working brothers and sisters in memory of lost comrades. Sometimes there are sing-alongs! And riots! Let's all hold hands and sing The Internationale, then march on Union Square! Of course, we won't—Americans (outside of some hippies in Minneapolis) don't really celebrate May Day anymore (well, some immigrants do too). Have we forgotten the Haymarket affair already? (Yes.) In 1958, by the way, Dwight Eisenhower proclaimed May 1 to be both "Loyalty Day" and "Law Day." Subtlety was not particularly prized then (nor now). President Bush's annual Law Day proclamation always brings tears to our loyal eyes. Now we prepare for Cinco de Mayo, the holiday that celebrates when the Mexicans out-drank the French.
holidays
Happy "Take Your Inescapable Realization That You've Failed Your Children To Work Day"!
So. It's apparently "Take Your Daughter to Work Day." Or "Take Your Child To Work Day" if you're one of those parents who makes their son wear dresses and pigtails. We are hearing reports of dozens of children terrorizing offices across Manhattan, interrupting work with shrieking and face-painting and possibly pony rides. It could be worse, though! You could be the saddest person in the world—the woman visiting her child at work as part of McDonald's new "Take Your Parents to Work Day" initiative. More »
heroes
Nixon, Blogger
In honor of Presidents Day, our nation's greatest ever president, Richard Milhous "Dick" Nixon, started a blog! Because everyone gets a blog! It's called "The New Nixon Blog" and America's Dead President Hero "would be fascinated by the blogosphere," according to his blog, written by the staff of his presidential library. Because Nixon adored the latest technology, see, giving all his secretaries IBM Selectric IIs and also state-of-the-art audio taping equipment. Of course, we all know how much Nixon adored free speech. And cursing! Blogs have lots of cursing. The blog also will feature contributions from right-wing columnists and authors (like Hugh Hewitt), all of whom should know better than to defend Nixon, as he was not actually particularly conservative, just an amoral sociopath. Also James K. Polk is following you on Twitter and Franklin Pierce has a Tumblr. After the jump, a hilarious 1968 campaign ad from America's drug-addled criminal racist President who probably beat his wife. More »
things that are good
Some Of Our Favorite Things Of 2007
Outside, it's been 4 p.m. for the past week and a half, and now the chilly gray perpetual dusk has even started leaking sleety rain. Inside, there is nothing to write about. It's now the season when the Internet traditionally dries up and blows away, and besides, most of us just quit our jobs and are now serving out a one month's notice that we cannot believe ever seemed like a good idea. "Now you'll be able to just relax and have fun with it!" somebody said early on. True, yes, except that how is it possible to have fun when everything you do reminds you of A) why you quit and B) why you are unqualified to do anything else? ANYWAY! This is all to say that it's been tough to come up with a year-end happy-time great list, but here goes! More »
holidays r hell
Bonnie Fuller Imagines Brangelina's Nightmare Thanksgiving
This Thanksgiving, as you add the last pat of butter to the mashed potatoes while trying to ignore your great uncle's comments about how your mother's like Crisco because she's fat in the can, be thankful that you're not Brad Pitt. So says Bonnie Fuller, who, in her latest HuffPo blog post, points out that she believes her own magazine's report about how strained things could be at the Pitt home in Missouri on Thursday! More »
From the mailbag: "What is an acceptable time for the non-observant Jew to leave the office today? 4? Is 3:30 pushing it?" Well, ONE non-observant Jew who won't be named just left here at 3:12, so we'd say you're safe to go now!
what are you still doing here?
And We're Off!
Wow, feels kind of self-indulgent around here this week. That's probably because a) there's no news, and b) we are so completely in love with ourselves and our drama and we are endlessly fascinated with what we write about best, which is us. This post will be no exception. It's all about me. Did you know it's my "Gawker birthday?" It's true! I started here a year ago today. In the intervening twelve months I've worked with six different editors, written approximately 2,500 posts, suffered through three staff transitions, and learned more about Rupert Murdoch than I know about my own family. I developed a case of pneumonia that literally almost killed me, I've never slept more than five hours a night, and, once, Nick Denton gave me the finger. ("It means you've arrived," he explained helpfully.) A man can only take so much. More »
gawker
Gawker's Holiday Schedule: Best Week Ever
Balk here. Quick note on our schedule next week: As is the case with all Jew-run media enterprises, Gawker will be closed on Monday to celebrate the miracle of baby Jesus' birth. We'll be here for the rest of the week, except for me: I'll be taking an ill-deserved but medically-necessary vacation for the duration of the year. My replacement during that time will be the incredibly capable Rob the Bouncer of Clublife fame. I expect that you'll treat him with the same respect and reverence that I am accorded on a - oh, whatever, just try not to be dicks; he has no clue what he's in for yet and we don't want to scare him off too early. I will see you kids on the other side of the New Year, and if you'll indulge an old man a moment's sincerity, I wish you all happy, safe, and healthy holidays. I will be in a constant state of inebriation myself (oh, how I've missed being able to drink in the mornings), but I'll be thinking about you the whole time. Best, etc.
clips
Why should the Deutschbags have all the fun? As a tribute to the fine folks in Adland and, more importantly, our readers, we've put together a little Video Holiday Card of our own, courtesy of Gawker videographer Richard Blakeley. Merry Christmas, babies! More »
Gawker's Holiday Video Card
Why should the Deutschbags have all the fun? As a tribute to the fine folks in Adland and, more importantly, our readers, we've put together a little Video Holiday Card of our own, courtesy of Gawker videographer Richard Blakeley. Merry Christmas, babies! More »
holidays
Bad Santa: Your Holiday Party Reports
With the holiday season in full swing, we're starting to get reports from various company parties. The common denominator seems to be that a) nobody serves food, and b) the parties suck. After the jump, we share reviews of two recent shindigs: Hearst and VNU. More »
holiday parties
Gawker's Holiday Party Guide: Clip and Save
We asked, and you answered. (We also got a little help from the the folks at the Observer). Here, in all its glory, is Gawker's Holiday Party Guide. (Click to enlarge). The full list of corresponding events is after the jump (including the location of the top secret Vogue party.) Print and use, and let us know if you get in to anything good. More »
media
Solicited: Media Holiday Party Information
This morning's WWD carried an article with a fairly comprehensive list of media holiday parties. Always on the cutting edge where service meets technology, your friends at Gawker are working on a map that will help all you wannabe Priyantha Silvas out there rub shoulders with drunk and frisky middle-management media types. (Alternately, it will help you know what to avoid.) Still, there are a couple of names missing from WWD's list: If you work for a media company that's throwing a holiday party (particularly Vogue, those tight-lipped mofos) or have knowledge of same, please send us the information, including date, time, and venue (or actual invitations, if possible). Do it for us, and do it for Priyantha. More »
tipping
Gawker's Holiday Tipping Guide
This week's New York is chock full of handy suggestions for the amount New Yorkers should tip the various service types they encounter on a daily basis. But we couldn't help noticing that the list skews a little upper class in its recipients (doorman, personal trainer, nanny, etc.). After the jump Gawker offers some suggestions for those of us who don't have to worry about tipping the guy who garages our Beemer. More »
The Birth of Martha Stewart's Nation
Brought to you by the October issue of Martha Stewart Living and your local Grand Wizard Kids' club. Bonus tip: cross the candles for maximum effect!
Brought to you by the October issue of Martha Stewart Living and your local Grand Wizard Kids' club. Bonus tip: cross the candles for maximum effect!
new york times
