Do you absolutely love playing chess but you are a giant bigger than a schoolhouse so every time you pick up a bishop or rook from a set designed for humans, it crumbles to dust in your hands? Perhaps you should consider purchasing frowning icon Kristen Stewart’s childhood home, which is ugly as sin and will surely…

Looking for a home in the DC area? It's likely you will be unable to locate a Master Bedroom. Not because it's the newest architectural trend to hide these rooms behind a discreet bookshelf door or to shrink these suites to the size of a pantry. No—the phrase Master Bedroom is being wiped from the blueprints.

Longtime Gawker readers may recall a bygone era in which Laurel Touby, founder of media job board-etc. site Mediabistro, was a regular Gawker "character," famous for her feather boas and inability to use email properly. After she sold Mediabistro for $23 million in 2007, she became more famous for being a Can You…

This heartless recession has stolen from America our most treasured national totems. Huge SUVs? Too gas-guzzling. Sprawling suburbs far removed from the "diverse" cities? Reduced to slums. And now, the recession is coming for our very homes.

Another day, another drop in new home sales. Another week, another rise in delinquent mortgages. Wake up, American paupers: the American dream of home ownership is dumb.

Homeowners' associations were supposedly created by Real Estate God to fundraise for and oversee neighborhood maintenance, and to help developers to efficiently manage and market their properties. But it often seems that their true purpose in life is to drive homeowners insane.

Just FYI, in case you were thinking of taking out a second mortgage: whatever you do, do not take out a second mortgage. A new report says that nearly 40% of people who took out second mortgages are now "underwater," a fancy real estate term for "broker than broke.":

An empty house in Marblehead, Mass. seems to have called 911 on its own after months of enduring a leaky pipe that covered the walls with toxic mold. And you thought that dog that called the police was smart.

Even during the worst days of the collapse of the housing bubble (Sundays through Saturdays), it was widely assumed that the real pain would be confined to Vegas, and Florida, and other places where people woke up and realized that they'd just paid $1.3 million for a particleboard McMansion in the middle of a desert…

The American Dream is owning your own home. We heard that so many times in the past decade! Remember that? That was before the recession and all. Now, a brutal landmark: all the past decade's home ownership gains are gone.

Now that home sales are plunging again and prices are set to plummet, it's time to take advantage of the opportunity to buy yourself a brand new home somewhere terrible. Which of these hellacious real estate nightmares do you prefer?

Poor broke Nic Cage couldn't get one single $10 million bid for his...spectacular "frat house bordello" mansion. Apparently nobody wanted to live in a grown-up version of the kid on Silver Spoons' room.

When reporting on The Rich, it's critical to prove that they are, in fact, rich. This is most easily accomplished by showing their homes, because every reader can immediately tell that they couldn't even afford the solid gold horse stable, much less the platinum guest house or uranium master bedroom. But most of The…