Not just one single text, Ashley, but at least, what, three or four texts, minimum, on the subject of hookers?

"My case in point," the call-girl-turned-singer/author/model wrote The Post in a text message yesterday.

"Here you have all these girls accepting gifts, money, trips from Tiger in exchange for sex — all the while knowing he is married.

"And now they all can't wait to tell their stories in exchange for even more money from the tabloids?

"And I was the hooker? At least I kept my mouth shut."

On a personal level we respect the fact that you are right, Ashley, and are actually the classy one here. But on a PR level we must advise you not to get too cozy with the tabloids. They'll stab you in the back in a second. Unlike, say, bloggers, who tend to be honest friends you can turn to with any question or random opinion, prostitution-related or otherwise.

Gurl U no U need 2 text message us.

[Pic: Myspace]

Over the weekend, the Post's magical resurrection of the Spitzer hooker scandal hit its peak. Instead of taking our advice and either disappearing or becoming a self-sustaining business mogul via pornography (either one of which would make her the master of her own fate and Money$$), Ashley foolishly chose to "get into bed," HEH, so to speak, with the dirty tabloid, in exchange for some "publicity" for her "musical career." It is a trick, Ashley! Give up this "musical" "career" at once and get as far away from the Post as possible!

The paper extracted the following things from the empowered young woman over the weekend:
1. Sexxxy photos.
2. Exclusive debut and video for her craptastic new pop song.

In return they gave her a puff piece calling her a "poster child for redemption." LOL! Oh and an explanatory piece on her tattoos. That too. And the Post's most painful concession (if you're a music critic): A positive review of her new single, "I Feel So Alive Without You." It's in the paper, but not online. That may have been a concession to Dan Aquilante, the critic forced to write this:

Unlike her first single, "Inside Out," a molasses-tempo ballad, this new tune has youth appeal in its complex melody that segues from a rock opening to a poppy chorus and ultimately plays with an unplugged acoustic bridge. Dupre should consider weaving in a quick rap for good measure.

Yes, weaving in a quick rap usually gives these things a touch of class. Aquilante didn't let this mandatory positive review go through without exacting his revenge in the kicker:

Ask any rock star and they'll tell you it's all about hooks, looks and the smarts to know how to take advantage of an opportunity when it falls into your lap — Miss Dupre has an abundance of all three qualities.

References to hookers and lap dances. You see Ashley, this is just the nature of the game. It was actually impressive when you turned down multimillion-dollar porn offers in the wake of the Spitzer scandal and went quiet for a while. What you don't realize, Ashley: the New York tabloid industry is shadier than the porn industry. And the tabloids don't even pay you.

Kristin Davis was allegedly the second Spitzer prostitution connection after Ashley Dupre, but who really knows? The important thing is that she has an opinion on this "Spitzer comeback" business, and that she posted it on her blog last week:

There is far more to tell about Eliot Spitzer, the ladies and the way he treated them. There is also far more to tell about Spitzer's relationships with multiple New York Escort services including several of my competitors when I was in the business. I'm sure if he and I both ran these facts would come in during a spirited campaign...

Yes indeed, if Eliot spitzer throws his hat in the ring, I may just have to jump in the race myself. After all, how I could I do worse than the clowns we have in Albany now?

You should, scary lady! This prostitute-ring runner is in favor of legalized prostitution and legalized marijuana and says it's preposterous that she went to jail while Spitzer didn't. In other words, she's right about everything.

[Pic: AP]

What did we tell you about this, Ashley? If you had followed our advice you would have already built your trashy faux-media empire and stacked enough cash to drop out of the public eye forever by now, via porn. We told you specifically to give up the music. Your music sucks. But what do we see, today? You, writing on a blog, for free, playing right into the hands of the bloodsucking tabloids, and plugging another god damn song!

People think I made money off music that was exploited when the scandal first broke, that I am doing reality television, and that I made millions posing nude for magazines... I never sold any photos of myself - but people who I trusted did. And the "millions" for the nude pics? I was offered that, repeatedly – and turned them down because I didn't want to perpetuate the problem or feed into the stereotype.

We know, that's the problem! You could be rich by now! Look, Ashley, the fact is that you are right, morally. You are doing the right thing to retain your humanity. But then you let the devil, in the form of the New York Post, sneak in through the back door because you think it will help your music career, of all things. Not only did you start "speaking out" right on schedule for the tabloid, but they also ran your entire Global Grind blog post in the paper, and did a review of your new song. We're not saying you struck some sort of deal with them, but if you did, you got conned. The tabloids will cover whatever you do no matter what. Your reputation is not going to change substantially. And you will never get rich off music—because, as we mentioned, your music sucks (but not in a lucrative way).

So sell out like the evil world wants you to, or just fade into obscurity. One's good for your soul. The other's good for your wallet. Playing footsie with the Post will only lead you off the cliff. Trust us here. We are your friend.

You might be familiar with source number one: it's Mark Ebner, the Hollywood, Interruped writer who helped us report on the original item. Ebner notes:

"Kari Ann said that, unlike Nici, she'd only take 40% of what a girl brought in," recalls Ebner, adding that Peniche admitted having turned tricks herself. (Another source says Peniche once joked, "I've gone from labor to management.")

The NLRB would be proud. Source number two is onetime Roger Clemens fling, Peniche's Celebrity Rehab roommate, and general hot mess: Ms. Mindy McCready.

"Did she say she'd been a madam?" says McCready. "She sure did."

Now: McCready's been accused of stealing the tape, is a home-wrecker, a supposedly reformed addict, and is basically the female David Allen Coe, so take her word with those things in mind.

Our third contestant on "How Much Of A Hooker Is The McSteamy Threesome's Third Wheel?" is Joey Gonzalez, a bodyguard. Gonzalez asserts that Peniche hired him to trail a hooker who was going in on her territory.

"Kari Ann wanted to hire me to follow a girl who worked for her - who she said was skimming money and stealing clients. I declined. But she bragged about how her girls could make $15,000 a month. She introduced me to one girl who told me she'd just gotten a boob job Kari Ann had paid for."

See, now we have a ballgame. Three's a trend, is it? Even with the inherently sketchy nature of the people involved (an investigative reporter, a trainwreck country singer, a Hollywood bodyguard), really, only one of them has anything to gain by this kind of thing — Ebner — and Ebner's been right plenty of times before. The other two? Maybe McCready can sell a few more records, get her name out there more by putting herself into the narrative of this thing, but is this the best way to sell a country record? (Don't answer that.) As far as the bodyguard goes, maybe Gonzalez is trying to drum up some business for himself, though really, who in Hollywood wants a bodyguard who's ratting out potential clients?

The best, of course, comes from Peniche's own putz manager, who throws this Blue Ribbon, hack statement to the Daily News:

Peniche and her manager, David Weintraub, declined to comment on any of the charges, though Weintraub allowed, "I don't know her whole past."

Really, though? You couldn't have just said nothing? The way things are going, Weintraub isn't going to have much to manage unless he's okay with making trips to the pen, soon. Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart have already lawyered up, to distance themselves from allegations of paying for sex, or the company of Peniche. Might be time for her, to, as well. She might be enjoying her time in the spotlight, but there's really no amount of infamy that's worth going to prison for.

Instead of posting nude photos with their "massage" and "escort" ads, providers now post bikini pictures, the San Francisco Chronicle reports. And instead of explaining how many times you can have sex with them, they now "quote their prices in roses per hour." This is all wayyy too confusing for customers, says the "Erotic Service Providers Union," proving decisively the Craigslist has the dumbest johns on the planet.

One of the conversations appears to back claims that Italy's leader has a giant bed with a connection, as yet unclear, to his Russian counterpart, Vladimir Putin.

After an exchange in which the prime minister seems to be offering a present to D'Addario, he says to her: "I'm taking a shower." He then asks her to wait on the big bed. She asks which one. He replies: "Putin's".

Right. Is that some sort of little joke or does Putin have a bed at Silvio's vacation home? And if he does, does he know what Silvio's doing in it?

Before we get into the reckless speculation, some background from the Rush and Malloy item detailing the tales of gubernatorial sex provided by a hooker named "Annie," who also serviced Eliot Spitzer back in the day. She says that the first time she met the mystery governor was on a date with a client named "Michael":

"We went to a restaurant where the governor was dining at another table with two or three other men. Michael said the governor was a client of his. He introduced me to him. I thought it was odd that he'd introduce someone he'd hired, but the governor was very gracious. It was a brief meeting. Later, Michael and I went to an apartment our agency kept. We had sex.

"A couple of days later, Michael booked another appointment. He was supposed to come to the same apartment. I buzzed him in. When I opened the door, it wasn't Michael. It was the governor. He was smiling. I knew what was happening. I was okay with it.

"He was a very standard client. He didn't take the full hour. There was no exchange of money. Michael handled the payment.

"I had two more dates with the governor. Never in public. Always for just an hour, around dinner time. He'd arrive at the apartment in a suit. I never had a problem with him, like I did with Spitzer. He was always nice. There wasn't a lot of conversation. It wasn't a girlfriend experience, but he was relaxed. He was very appreciative, like I was giving him a sort of affection he wasn't getting elsewhere. Later I found out he was married. His wife is quite prominent in her own right."

So, if the story told by Annie is true, there's another hooker-nailing governor running around out there. Even worse, he may have accepted sex with a prostitute as a gift from a lobbyist. Now, taking into consideration what we've learned from "Annie," that the mystery governor is a man who is married to a "prominent" woman, let's take a few educated guesses as to who this may be and assign some Vegas-style odds as we go.


Arnold Schwarzenegger (10-1) Knowing everything that we know, that Arnold's wife is indeed "prominent" and that he's a noted lover of ass, Arnold is an obvious front-runner in this contest. However, what he does have in potential hooker-nailing credentials he lacks in geographical proximity, otherwise he's probably be a 2-1 or 3-1 favorite, though Arnold has made trips to New York during his time as governor of California.


Ed Rendell (15-1) The thought of Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell having sex is utterly horrifying, so he's one we'd rather not even think about. However, he's only a hour or so away from New York City by train and his wife, Marjorie Rendell, is a federal judge who sits on the Third Circuit Court of Appeals, so he sort of makes sense.


Jim Gibbons (25-1) The Nevada governor's wife divorced the Republican after she busted him for carrying on with the wife of a Reno doctor, which she claims was only one of many affairs he had during their marriage. A few months after the divorce, Gibbons made news for stepping out with Playboy model Leslie Durant. So yeah, outside of the geographical proximity disadvantage thing, Gibbons is an obvious candidate. But with all of that said, aren't there hookers in Nevada he could have sex with, you know, legally?


Deval Patrick (50-1) The governor of Massachusetts, whose wife is a "prominent" attorney, appears to be quite spry for a 52 year-old man. And like Rendell, he's not that far away.


Tim Pawlenty (75-1) The Minnesota governor is considered by many to be a potential candidate for the Republican presidential nomination in 2012, thus he merits consideration. Period.


Mark Sanford (100-1) Sanford, a former Wall Streeter with roots in New York, obviously loves to bone women not named Jenny Sanford, but he seems to be more of a lovey affair-haver. The fact that "Annie" said that this governor wasn't interested in talking or a "girlfriend experience" all but eliminates him. Sanford would definitely want to talk about his feelings. And cuddle.


Bobby Jindal (500-1) There's actually no way we could ever conceive of the Louisiana governor sexing with whores (We tend to think of him as an amoeba...he just splits in order to reproduce), but we had to throw him in here, just because.


Charlie Crist (1,000,000-1) There's just no way.


If there are any potential whore-mongering candidates we've missed that you feel strongly about, feel free to offer your own suggestions in the comments.

Eliot Spitzer Not My Only Governor Says Hooker Who Worked For Kristin Davis [Daily News]
pic via

Last November, a Mr. Gianpaolo Tarantini, invited three young ladies over to Berlusconi's house in Rome for a perfectly harmless and innocent dinner party that they were paid to attend. And then two of the ladies, and Gianpaolo, left, and now those ladies who left say the one who stayed behind is an escort, and then the escort said she had sex with Berlusconi.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.One of the ladies who left before the alleged sexing is only going public because Berlusconi "failed to make good on promises to help her obtain building permits for a planned hotel." Also there might be incriminating photos!

And:

"I've worked in the theatre and I know about make-up. He had a lot on. It made him look orange and when he laughed you could see the wrinkles," she said.

Despite this sideshow, Berlusconi's party won a modest 35% plurality in this month's European elections, and his opposition is almost non-existent, as Italy is basically sliding back into Fascism again.

Amsterdam's lenient laws that tolerate prostitution and marijuana don't hurt either, according to Wouter Boon, who runs the city's popular ad blog, Amsterdam Ad Blog.

You want ad people to come around? Break out the hookers and drugs, watch em flock in like pigeons. "Competitive corporate tax rate" my butt.
[Ad Age. Pic via]

And furthermore, why is this important news just now coming out 18 months after the NYPD allegedly stopped setting up stings on Craigslist hookers and johns? Whoa, so many questions! You're quite interested in Craigslist hooker information, wow!

It's simple really: ABC newsman George Weber got murdered by a 16-year-old he found on Craigslist, which, by the ironclad rules of Media Scandal Follow-Up Stories, means that it's time to delve into the seedy world of online prostitution, and what it means for YOU.

And whattayaknow, it's safe to go finding hookers on Craigslist again:

The Vice Squad Craigslist program was shut down about 18 months ago, sources told The Post. But NYPD spokesman Paul Browne insisted it happened as long as three years ago because a new commanding officer of the squad thought it was "a waste of resources."

Yokel Craigslist-suing Sheriff Thomas Dart could learn something from the NYPD. This is all part of a larger social contract. Cops agree to stay off Craigslist while they're on duty, and in return, we don't hold them to be hypocrites when they hire hookers from Craigslist while they're off duty. [NYP]

Ashley has a new 'blog' today! What's she been up to? Oh yoga and this and that, etc.:

In great part, discovering my identity came through the quiet reflection I enjoyed while practicing yoga, and the inner strength I've developed attracts powerful things. I'm seeing that the stronger I am at my core, the more natural and effortless it becomes to draw positive people and uplifting experiences into my life. For example, never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined befriending Russell Simmons while taking class at a yoga school I started going to in the past year. This school has been the safe haven for my self-study and spiritual development. The more I know my true self, the more I come to have faith that my presence on earth means more or at least has different meaning than the media or disbelievers have tried to frame it to be.

We have to level with you, Ashley: you're doing exactly the right thing, which is no good for our purposes. Ignoring the media, being quiet, meditating, learning humility, and focusing on self-improvement are great ways to become a better person and move past your scandalous past. What the hell are we supposed to do with that, hmm? We had a better career plan for you: Porn. Why do you ignore this easy money in favor of spiritual salvation?

See, you doing scandalous things pays our salary, Ashley. Porn sells. If you're gonna screw us on that, at least don't stop blogging. (But still, consider porn).
[Ashley writes things here]

You would think this "Yigal Azrouël" would be happy for the free PR that up-and-coming singer Dupre brought to his show. But he wasn't:

A no-nonsense, late night press release announced the news: "Following the showing of his Fall Winter 2009 Collection, Yigal Azrouël has decided to fire front-of-house PR Company, People's Revolution, for mismanagement."

That PR company is run by Kelly Cutrone, star of The City. And she couldn't care less about that crappy fashion label client, frankly! Nobody named "Yigal" will come between Kelly and her friend, Ashley Dupre, singer.

"When I met her I was like, you know what, I really like this girl," said Ms. Cutrone. "I'm vehemently opposed to morality, and I think that people who are insistent upon propelling morality ultimately hang themselves."

Got that? She's vehemently opposed to morality. Okay. So anyhow let's get right down to brass tacks and find out from Ashley Alexandra Dupre, hey Ashley, tell us about your upcoming music album will you?

Over pasta and salmon at L'Ulivo in the West Village, Dupre opened up about her hoped-for music career, her love of fashion and how she's dealt with moving on from the Eliot Spitzer scandal. "It's pop-rock, it's going to be deep, not bubblegum. It's definitely a personal record," said Dupre, 23, of the album she is currently recording...But don't expect any Spitzer-related songs. "I think I'll stay away from that, it would be pretty tacky," said Dupre, who is petite, gregarious and blessed with a flawless complexion. "I don't want to sing about it and I don't think anyone wants to listen to it."

Well you are certainly wrong about that! [NYDN, NYO, WWD]

WWD caught Ashley at the Yigal Azrouel show today, although all the other celebs and photographers totally overlooked her! They milked her for this exclusive info:

"I'm here to see Yigal, I'm really excited," she said of the show, though it is not her first ever fashion show experience. She'll also be attending the IMG party, said Dupre, clad in leather pants, towering sandals, and a red jacket with her hair demurely parted on one side. As for future projects, including her music career, she said "I'm not going to say what I'm doing - I want to give it a fair shot. But we'll be announcing something soon."

We already know what she should be doing. More importantly, if you see Ashley out and about, please send us some pics. [WWD]

UPDATE: Hey, here are some dynamic photographs of the occasion, via here:

• Fashion—Remember Monica Lewinsky's successful line of handbags? No you don't, because her handbag line was not successful. She harbored the illusion that women would choose to spend money to have a fashion item with her personal aura hanging off their arms. It turns out women do not want their fashion labels to convey a reputation for, primarily, blowjobs. Not fair, but a fact. Fashion lines without an extremely cheeky touch are doomed to fail.
• Music—We hear you want a music career. Do you have deep and unique talent? Not from what we've heard. Skip it.
• Talk Show—You could give this a shot, right? I mean, how hard could it be to be the next, say, Ricki Lake? She probably gets around too amirite? (SEXIST). The truth is that hosting a successful talk show is way harder than it looks. I'm sure you could convince some desperate off-brand network to give you a talk show, Ashley, but once the novelty wore off, it would either have to get really sexual really fast, or die. Or you would have to turn out to have some heretofore unknown media skills, which we doubt. Stick to being interviewed yourself, not the other way around.
• Advice Column—Now this is an idea! There are several advantages to an advice column. Initially, people would read just because you're famous. But then, if you had good (SEXY) advice, people would read just to hear that! And you can always hire a ghostwriter. And this isn't dependent on your looks! Save this as a retirement plan. But use a current photo.
• Write a Book—You might have a good, trashy tell-all in you, Ashley, but you'd have to be willing to tell all. These People magazine and Diane Sawyer interviews you're doing now are child's play. You can look sympathetic and respectable on the book's cover, but if you don't give up the (SEXY) goods inside, people aren't going to drop $25 at the airport book store. Do this in the next six months, if you need the cash.
• Politics—It would be funny! Vote for the only New Yorker who could defeat Spitzer, LOL! Actually this would only work if Spitzer restarted his political career and the Republicans were very desperate for an opponent. Though you do have a promising career as a political symbol, Ashley.
• Porn—We have to level with you: this is the most lucrative thing you could possibly do. The sad fact is that women who get famous for sex scandal reasons are always branded, foremost, as sex objects. Sucks if you have actual life aspirations! But you can in fact make millions and millions by doing porn, then take your money and go live in Belize in peace. This would also get you out of Jersey. Think about it.

Think about it: if Spitzer had decided not to resign (as we advised at the time), he'd now be a scandal-ridden and likely ineffective governor. He would also, however, have the luck to be a high officeholder in New York now that Obama has been elected.

Obama is very likely to name Hillary Clinton to a cabinet position. That will mean New York needs its governor to name a new Senator to fill her spot. If Spitzer were still the governor, who better to name than himself? The state Democrats would surely support it, just to be able to clear him the hell out so the party could move on to a slightly more scandal-free future. And nobody in Washington would really mind, because they all fuck whores there, at least metaphorically.

So Spitzer could have put himself in Hillary's seat and installed David Paterson as governor, just as he is now. Spitzer's particular skill set—cracking down on corporate profligacy—is looking pretty good right now. Once the Post got off his ass about the scandal, he'd probably be able to do some good.

But he resigned, so none of this will happen. It would be kind of nifty if Paterson appointed him to the seat now, as some have suggested. (It would be great for Paterson, who would have neatly gone from being a little-known Lieutenant Governor to having Spitzer owe him a huge favor). But it won't happen, because in America you can screw taxpayers, but not hookers. Live and learn. Spitzer will be back on the scene in two years either way. [pic via LAT]