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Horror

disasters

Singing Little Girl Represents All That is Wrong With America

You guys wanted to see a horrifying image of everything that is insidiously vapid and ideologically bankrupt about our country this afternoon, right? Oh good, because after the jump we have a YouTube video of a little girl, who is maybe six-years-old, singing the song "Fabulous" from High School Musical 2. In it the child gyrates and flashes her fancy threads and shrieks a lot. Its truly heinous nature is only amplified by the little note posted by the uploader: "So Disney encouraged kids to make their own video to one of four song clips from High School Musical. Jordyn chose fabulous, and made this clip. She has roughly 50 video song clips she is begging me to post, that I haven't had time to get to. So one down- 49 to go! ;-)" Watch and weep for our ruined nation after the jump. More »

Screaming Lessons VH1, where humanity goes to die, has greenlit a new reality series called Scream Queens, in which 10 unknown "actresses" compete for a starring role in a horror movie. They'll work with an acting coach and everything! Glad to see that the noble tradition of fine acting in horror movies will be upheld. [THR]

You Fools, You'll Kill Us All! This can't possibly end well. [HuffPo]

trailer

It's Alive!

A remake of the 1974 splatter classic It's Alive—in which a cuddly widdle baby eats everyone!—is coming soon. The trailer was just released at Cannes, so now it's on YouTube, so now it's here. Yay! More »

Why Is This Why. Why would anyone make this. David Brooks is admittedly the best illustration for "corporate dude" basically ever, but that is exactly why this is so terrible and wrong.

Boo! OK, so is anyone as creeped out by this trailer for The Strangers as I was? It looks a bit like that Luke Wilson/Kate Beckinsale movie Vacancy, which was actually pretty darn scurrry.

horror shows

Naomi Campbell Attack: 24 Hours Later

Rage-infected supermodel Naomi Campbell could spend up to six months in prison for assaulting a police officer at an airport yesterday. Just another item on the list of Naomi's many rampages. Reportedly she became upset when a piece of luggage containing the magical clothing she was to wear for an American television appearance turned up missing. Spitting and swearing, running on and off the plane, she was finally subdued, handcuffed, and dragged off of an aircraft by four police officers. Luckily none of the officers sustained any infectious bites nor did her saliva come in contact with any open wounds. She has been released on bail, and is set to return to court in May. Until then, she will prowl the streets... hunting. [Showbiz Spy] Footage of the incident after the jump. More »

Buffy!

Buffy Reunion! Buffy Reunion! Buffy!

I don't know why it took LA Weekly so long to get around to filing the definitive coverage of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer reunion/panel discussion at the Paley Center for Media in Beverly Hills, and I don't care. Know why? Cause it's Buffy, mofos! What was shooting "Once More Feeling"—you know, "The Musical Episode"—like? "'I’m gonna go with fun,' says series creator Joss Whedon." He talks just like Xander! “'You guys are remembering this differently,' says James Marsters, who played Spike, the tormented vampire in love with Buffy. 'It was total terror from the cast.'” Love it! But what are their favorite things? More »

horror

Eat This at Your Peril!

Just what is Cthulhu? Is horror writer H.P. Lovecraft's creation a scary monster from deep space? From the distance past? Another dimension? For former Star Trek: The Next Generation star and top-notch nerd blogger Wil Wheaton, it's cake. More »

horror

Let Sleeping Zombies Lie

George Romero, master of the zombie genre, made some really good movies in the second half of the last century, in particular the classic Night of the Living Dead and the satirical but still fucking scary "zombies in a Pittsburgh shopping mall" Dawn of the Dead. So it is with great sadness that we watch him trundle off into irrelevance via the "keepin' up with the kids!" route. His newest walking dead movie is called Diary of the Dead, and like Cloverfield and Brian DePalma's Redacted before it, employs that irksomely popular (and rarely successful) motif of faux "found footage." An enterprising young man has decided to document the zombie apocalypse because, I guess, he figures that YouTube will be the only thing left once all our brains have been eaten. I suppose it can be a nifty technique when used properly, but if his super clunky 2005 effort Land of the Dead is any indication, old Romero just isn't at the top of his game anymore. Though, I guess we can't blame him for not wanting to hole up in his house forever, the ghastly moans of the past rattling the doors and windows. [AV Club] After the jump, a trailer for Diary of the Dead. More »

game shows

The Devolution Will Be Televised

Mark L. Wahlberg, host of other proud and noble Fox shows Joe Millionaire and Temptation Island, is now our emcee for Moment of Truth, a "game show" that Entertainment Weekly calls "Genius" (or, maybe not). Tonight was the grand premiere. It's pretty much the nadir of the contemporary challenge show, which began so innocently with Regis Philbin shouting at poor, trivia-spouting office assistants. Contestants are asked to answer a series of horribly awkward questions (Would you have your wife get lipo if she got fat? Are you a gambling addict?) while three friends, lovers, or family members watch on in sweaty, money-craving horror. Are they telling the truth? Are they lying? Only predetermined lie detector test results will tell. The longer you tell the truth, the more you win. Watch here as Ty, a former professional football player and current personal trainer who has already admitted to checking out other dudes' "privates", takes the plunge, much to the chagrin of wife Catia. He leaves with nothing. Not even his dignity, which he traded in not at the door, but at some indefinable date years ago, when all of us gurgling Americans threw up our hands and said "Fuck it, gimme some cash."

willamsburg already is an indie horror film

I'm Not A Hipster Slut, But I Play One In An Indie Horror Flick

If you're a hipster, a yuppie, a slut, or an exhibitionist or can convincingly portray one (and come on, you're at least one), there may be a role for you in a new movie being filmed in Williamsburg! We've come across a casting notice for Meshuggeneh , "an indie horror film being shot on HD in Brooklyn. It deals with underground filmmakers who terrorize the pretentious hipsters and yuppies of Williamsburg. In addition, there's a subversive theatre troupe called Bruised Thespians that stage intense multi-media performances that deal with abuse." Admit it, you're curious! Go for it, baby, you're going to be a star! More »

how to blog

Things To Never Google Image

Sometimes our 90-year-old grandfather asks us if we think there's a future in what we do, and we answer him honestly: "Who the fuck knows, Poppy!" But actually, we're reasonably sure that most people who like writing and thinking and pretending to write and think will find themselves working at Internet Website Blogs at some point in the future of their careers. This is why, from time to time, we offer up some of the wisdom we've gleaned working at this job. It's about finding images to go with posts. Sometimes you are writing a post about, say, circumcision, and you're in kind of a hurry, so off you go to hunt for an image on the internet. Oh my God. NEVER GOOGLE IMAGE CIRCUMCISION. More »