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A Brief Guide to the Real Housewives of New York City

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stephdf2913
02/17/09

In reply to A Brief Guide to the Real Housewives of New York City
although honestly I'm so drunk by now I couldn't really care less
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mathnet
02/17/09

@stephdf2913: I have Cindy Adams on the other line right now because I'm so jealous.
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frauleinsally
02/17/09

In reply to A Brief Guide to the Real Housewives of New York City
Does it piss anyone else off that they refer to their penthouse apartments and townhouses as "condos"? For some reason it just sticks in my craw.
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bytememehard
02/17/09

@AndHerDaughterGypsy: at best they're proly co-ops.
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hamburgerhotdog
02/17/09

In reply to A Brief Guide to the Real Housewives of New York City
Bethenny is exactly the kind of person the spray on buttered version of hot buttered rum is intended for. Sure, you run an organic food business, but you also drink tequila by the bucket. At least tequila is vegan, I guess.
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Buenavista
02/17/09

In reply to A Brief Guide to the Real Housewives of New York City
Wine-face and tired looking should be a worstie.
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hamburgerhotdog
02/17/09

@Buenavista: and maybe it would be if this were jezebel. But it's not.
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bboston88
02/17/09

In reply to A Brief Guide to the Real Housewives of New York City
The crumbling Brooklyn townhouse. Loves it! Is that the look they are going for? Seriously, how do they fund the dresses to the events and the shopping sprees they show while living in that? I'm not knocking it, I'm just saying I could afford it (w/my husband) but I certainly could NOT afford their shopping. So are they just totally in debt or what?
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OrneryBabe
02/17/09

@bboston88: Yes, they are. I read somewhere that they mortgaged their home somewhere in the high six figures to afford the clothes and the off-season St. Barth's vacation.
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misslinda
02/17/09

@OrneryBabe: Public records show that Alex and Simon bought the place in June 2005 (just about the height of the market) for $1,275,000. Nothing indicates they took any additional money out of the place, but it wouldn't be unusual then to have only put 10% down. So yeah, probably mortgaged up the wazoo which is why they can't afford the renovations (even by my low standards the condition of their place was embarrassing) and they may currently be upside down on their mortgage. Aw! The McCords, they're just like us!
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misslinda
02/17/09

@misslinda: Oh my bad, the mortgages are all under Simon's name. He took out three that fateful summer: 700k, 690k, and 320k, for a grand total of $1,710,000, which is almost 500k more than they bought the place for. And, since those are second and third mortgages, the interest rates must be insane. So holy cow, yeah, they're mortgaged up the wazoo and the yingyang!!!
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OrneryBabe
02/17/09

@misslinda: Thanks - I forgot that little factoid that they mortgaged the home several times. That must explain why I see her on the train and in the supermarket.

I didn't know it was possible to take out several mortgages on the same property at the same time. Wow. Just wow.

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misslinda
02/17/09

@OrneryBabe: They were within a month of each other. I don't really understand why anyone would do that. Maybe it's more like a line of credit but it's recorded as a mortgage? Whatever it is, it's around a 9-10k per month mortgage payment. Plus Brooklyn's in the real estate crapper, and they paid nearly top dollar for a dump in Carroll Gardens in 2005. They're not striking me as very savvy people. That episode with the kid and the private schools where they didn't realize how hard it would be to get into a good school? Apply that amount of planning/research/duh-factor to their entire lives.
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axel_f
02/17/09

In reply to A Brief Guide to the Real Housewives of New York City
oh come on, ramona's daughter (avery) is so not a brat. she's actually pretty well behaved compared to the rest of the housewives kids
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misslinda
02/17/09

@axel_f: Wasn't that the Countess who brought the "street" person into her home to give her sad son who just wanted to spend time with her breakdancing lessons? That was hilarious! All of a sudden it was 1984, and I so enjoyed the Countess getting completely ripped off for the "lessons".
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quatrevingtquatre
02/17/09

In reply to A Brief Guide to the Real Housewives of New York City
Maybe you can only like the shows that are far from your region of the country? Because Atlanta and NYC amuse me endlessly but I want to stab the OC bitches in their faces because living on the West Coast means they are.every.where. And so tiresome.

Alex is a giraffe that a gay Australian hunter named Simon found on the Savannah, wrapped in a Chico's coat, and brought back to his crumbling Brooklyn townhouse.

That made me laugh aloud.
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bytememehard
02/17/09

@thatonegirlsays: Can you by-any-chance tell me why the OC bitches always wear shiny dresses?
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veronykah
02/17/09

@thatonegirlsays: UGH, living in LA I feel the same way about the OC show. I just can't watch it.

I honestly never wanted to watch any of them but got stuck on a Virgin America flight LAX-NYC and the only thing to watch was a MARATHON of the NYC season.

Now I am very excited to watch tonight. I miss NYC.
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sassypants
02/17/09

In reply to A Brief Guide to the Real Housewives of New York City
I am so profoundly grateful that I do not know or live near any of these horrible people.
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jgh
02/17/09

In reply to A Brief Guide to the Real Housewives of New York City
You know Atlanta had the highest ratings, right?
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gladys_kravitz
02/17/09

@jgh: Directly attributable to Anderson Cooper's many shout outs to NeNe no doubt.
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Botswana Meat Commission FC
02/17/09

@jgh:
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tewkesbury
02/17/09

In reply to A Brief Guide to the Real Housewives of New York City
I loved watching LuAnn make a big stinky fuss about etiquette while conveniently ignoring the rules that bore her, like the ones about not publicly correcting your friends. And I extra-loved her scary LES adventure with her kung fu niece.
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oboesqueaks
02/17/09

@tewkesbury: Dammit sarcasm is hard to read, so just to let you know, I did catch the sarcasm in your comment and am in complete agreement.
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tewkesbury
02/17/09

@oboesqueaks: on the other hand, they do have all that great access to sex shops where they can buy their much-younger relatives awkward Christmas gifts.
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misslinda
02/17/09

@tewkesbury: The 'hood she walked through, talking about how ugly and dirty it is? That's my 'hood. It's also 2 blocks from Zarin Fabrics, which is Jill's empire. Pretty sure the good Countess knew that and the fuss about how dangerous and dirty it is on the LES was meant to be a dig at poor un-Countess Jill and her dirty scary fabric store.
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gladys_kravitz
02/17/09

In reply to A Brief Guide to the Real Housewives of New York City
I've been seeing the previews and the clip of Bethenny mumbling "hooolycatfightwudidjudoonow" like she has either a bag of marbles or a large penis in her mouth is starting to grate on me.

That said, can't wait for 11:00pm.
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RonaldReagan2.0
02/17/09

In reply to A Brief Guide to the Real Housewives of New York City
I think they need to send ALL the housewives, O.C., NY and Atlanta, to live in a house together Big Brother style. Now that I would be giddy to watch.
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oboesqueaks
02/17/09

@RonaldReagan2.0: That would definitely be good television. But where would they live? Miami? Denver? Oooooh I know: Little Rock. Send those women to Arkansas.
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bluebears
02/17/09

@RonaldReagan2.0: you are a genius. can you imagine the luann/nene conversations that would take place?
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Lymed
02/17/09

@oboesqueaks: Alaska. In the winter, so it's too cold to go outside so they are forced to be with each other. And, of course, no husbands except for Simon.
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monkeydance
02/17/09

In reply to A Brief Guide to the Real Housewives of New York City
omg, those descriptions are spot on!!!! i don't know why i watch this show...at least Orange County it's sunny, warm, and they drink alot.
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Lymed
02/17/09

@monkeydance: You watch this show because of Ramona.
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Lymed
02/17/09

In reply to A Brief Guide to the Real Housewives of New York City
I dated a count once. So I expect you all to refer to me as "Almost Countess Lymed" from now on.
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Mount_Prion
02/17/09

@Lymed:

Even I would date the right count.

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Lymed
02/17/09

@Lymed: Either of those would have been a better choice than my count.
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Heneage
02/17/09

@Lymed: And here I was, thinking you were a Queen...
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Lymed
02/17/09

@Heneage: Was it because i can count? "One discriminatory ballot, two discriminatory ballots....eight discrminatory ballots."
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Apollo Creed
02/17/09

In reply to A Brief Guide to the Real Housewives of New York City
Wine-faced and tired looking

Can I steal that for my "About Me" section on Facebook? It really captures my essence.
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Mount_Prion
02/17/09

@Surviving Myself: Just put [via Richard] after it and you're all good.
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