HBO's Horatio Alger story for FoHos living in paradise came to a close last night. How did it end? Did they make it? No. They learned that absolutely everyone—themselves included—is a criminal.

This week HBO's Horatio Alger story for hipsters fauxhemians told us that no matter how broken up you are, no matter how much of a loser you are, she will still come around to open up old wounds. Bitch.

This is a lesson that the women of the world have known for a long time, but thanks to HBO's Horatio Alger story for hipsters, men might get hip to it, too. Oh, what a cruel world that will be!

HBO's Horatio Alger story for hipsters taught us less about how to make it and more about how to make out. Or how not to if you get, you know, bisexual urges while dropping X with your girlfriend.

This week HBO's jean-making drama didn't mention denim, but there was all this bullshit about boyfriends and ex-boyfriends and birthday parties and Avenue. The moral? If you want any attention from the NYC ladeez, you better have a flat stomach.

Living in New York City is hard! There are too many people, too much noise, and far, far too many existential crises lurking in front of every Pinkberry. What do you need to make it through the day? A doobie!

HBO's Horatio Alger tale for the hipster set is full of advice about how to become the big, rich, fabulous New York City success you always dreamed of. This week, discover why networking with models is awesome!