Howard Stern Fan Pranks Deadly Serious Fox News

There was a tragic shooting in Binghamton, New York, as the shouty 24-hour news channels all hastened to tell us. One brave Howard Stern fan stood up against the strictures of seriousness and good taste. More »

Kanye West Can't Trust MTV Like He Used To

• Kanye West is astounded by the lack of sober judgement and integrity in the MTV Video Music Awards. He thinks they're fixed! The cable network is shocked he would question the ethics of the "MTV Academy." [Sun]
• Jennifer Aniston told Oprah Winfrey that her relationship with Brad Pitt feels like it was "100 years ago" and she's totally happy for him and his wife, even though she's uncool. [Us]
• Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson may get engaged in Paris. They've supposedly planned it and everything. Which would mean they're already engaged, effectively, so even if this rumor is true, it's false. [Mirror]
• You won't believe it: An older rich guy left his longtime wife for a much younger woman! He's 68, the Other Woman is 28 and they ran into each other in line at Starbucks in New York. She's from the Midwest. [P6]
• HBO isn't unduly concerned it just signed a deal with a rocker who slept with 14- and 15-year-old groupies and wrote about it in his book. That's now what Red Hot Chili Pepper Anthony Kiedis's show is going to be about, so who cares. [P6]
• Angelina Jolie is still not pregnant. [UPI]
• Howard Stern's sidekick is signed up for another book, one day after publication of his other book. [R&M]

Howard Stern Questions Marsha Brady About Her History of Anal Sex

Once again Howard Stern is fulfilling his mission of delving deeply into the sex lives of our childhood—and more recent—crushes. On the hot seat for tonight's installment of Stern's On Demand show is none other than Marsha Brady, nee Maureen McCormick. As one of the top five teen idols of the late 60's and early 70's, there is one crucial thing the world needs to know about McCormick: Has she had anal? She has! But does she like it? Folks on both sides of the issue are going to have to rework their Marsha Brady fantasies. Clip after the jump. More »

Marcia Brady on Anal Sex: 'Ow, My Rectum!'

Remember sweet, innocent Marcia Brady? If you do, you probably haven't been paying attention this week, as her portrayer, Maureen McCormick, has undertaken a press tour meant to despoil her clean-cut image once and for all. First, McCormick regaled a horrified Today audience with tales of congenital syphilis, then she took to The Morning Show with Mike & Juliet to reveal her coked-out near-miss with the Indiana Jones franchise. Now, McCormick has taped an appearance on Howard Stern's Howard TV set to air later tonight, and in the clip excerpted after the jump, she discusses her painful anal sex experiences and a drugged, aborted date with Steve Martin. Somewhere, a horrified Carol Brady is shaking her stylish flip. Enjoy! More »

Clay Aiken Cover Cost Half A Million

• People snagged those Clay Aiken baby pictures for $500,000 after newly-frugal OK! dropped out of the bidding. [P6]
• Janet Jackson was hospitalized after getting sick right before a concert. [AP]
• Cindy Adams had Republican operative Ed Rollins walk through how Sarah Palin would be prepped for the debates, if the purely hypothetical case she were anything like a normal vice presidential candidate. [Post]
• When she was a beauty pageant contestant,Palin used to stick plaster over her nipples to keep her nipples from showing,one of her fellow contestants said. [R&M]
• Some whiny West Village busybody actually thought Page Six would care that Blake Lively lets her poodle run around the sidewalk off-leash, because that's against the rules. And that busybody was correct! [P6]
• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are considering adopting a seventh child, this time for the benefit of the continent of South America. [Daily Mail]
• A rich guy is giving $25,000 for Howard Stern's fiancee to run a marathon. [P6]
• Britney Spears re-denied the recurring rumor that she made a sex tape with Adnan Ghalib. The singer did say she plans a world tour next year. And yet Spears' lawyers said she's too crazy to stand trial for driving without a license.
• Katie Holmes has switched from her baggy, trendsetting "boyfriend jeans" to bell bottoms. She's just cycling through the fashion trends (and nostalgic outbreaks) of the last 20 years at her own pace. [Sun]
• Paul Newman has already been cremated and his funeral convened. [P6]
• George Michael is going on an African safari to deal with his drug and public-bathroom sex issues. [Fametastic]

Brooke Hogan on Dick Cheney: 'Who's That?'

When we solicited thoughts on VP candidate Sarah Palin from reality star Brooke Hogan, Brooke's naive response of "Who's that?" initially echoed in our hearts as a poignant reminder of the bygone, pre-Palin media era. You can imagine our confusion, then, when Hogan appeared on today's Howard Stern show and as the subject of the now-notorious Defamer video came up, she coolly denied that we'd ever asked her about Sarah Palin in the first place: More »

Jennifer Aniston, Brad Pitt Hook Up For Awkward Drink

Howard Stern Got Married Today, Maybe

Howard Stern and fiancee/model Beth Ostrosky are supposedly getting married today, presumably at his/their place in the Hamptons. According to "Howard 100 News" reporter Lisa G., they planned a casual, barefoot ceremony on the beach. Only, where are the paparazzi and the helicopters? Where is the army of Post reporters filing dispatches from the Island? Is this all just some misdirection by Page Six chief Richard Johnson in order to snag an invite to the real ceremony in another location? Where are the pictures? And Beth says she planning to run a marathon in the morning. Does that make sense? [P6] Update: Lovable stammerer Ellen Degeneres probably married her smoking-hot fiancee Portia De Rossi today as well, in their gazillion-dollar Beverly Hills Xanadu! Oh, the love!

To Avoid Stale Olsen Twin Jokes, Artie Lange Checks Into Rehab

After winding his way through a media-sponsored meltdown that saw him terrorize Conan O'Brien, endure torture on Donnie Deutsch, and ultimately resign from the Howard Stern show, comedian Artie Lange pulled out of the Bob Saget roast this past weekend to check himself into rehab. Says Page Six: More »

Jennifer Aniston Plans Fairytale Wedding, Proposal

Alanis Morrisette Discusses Her Lesbian Days With Howard Stern

Gorgeous and magical Alanis Morrisette stopped by "The Howard Stern Show" Friday, where she discussed her break-up with loser Ryan Reynolds—who her band, Howard, and Artie Lang all hate—as well her experimentations with lesbianism. Clip after the jump. More »

CBS CEO Les Moonves to visit CNET next Tuesday

After buying CNET for $1.8 billion, CBS CEO Les Moonves is getting around to inspecting his new property next Tuesday, we hear. Moonves is visiting CNET's San Francisco headquarters to address the troops. So far, beaten-down CNETters, weary of the fight with hedge fund Jana Partners, seem mostly supine in CBS's embrace. Show some spirit, guys! We suggest testing your new CBS overlords' sense of humor by wearing some 2006-vintage "I Hate Les Moonves" T-shirts, from the days of his tussles with Howard Stern. Ironically retro, of course.

Dolly Parton Threatening To Sue Howard Stern For Tossing Her Lovely Audio Book Into A Filth Salad (NSFW)

We really take no pleasure in informing you that two of our idols—early tickle-machine adopter Howard Stern and top-heavy country legend Dolly Parton—are currently at war, but such is the case. To get you up to date, last week, Stern broadcast edited portions of her self-narrated audio book to form several beyond-filthy phrases. (Like, seriously: NSFW. This is the kind of stuff you imagine hearing at a 4 a.m. "Aristocrats" session around Bob Saget's jacuzzi after a night of Tuaca shots and blow. As such, it's hilarious.) Parton has had a listen, and released this statement in response: More »

Artie Lange Quits Stern Show (Again), Cementing His Top Ranking On Celebrity Deathwatch

While we haven't been avid listeners of Howard Stern since he made the switch to Sirius a few years back (call us crazy or even cheap, but we're morally opposed to paying for radio), we still follow the show pretty closely. And as anyone who has been paying attention knows, Stern sidekick Artie Lange has been on a self-destructive streak for the better part of the last nine or so months. His weight has been ballooning, his already prolific drug habit has only gotten worse and his on-air behavior has become more erratic than ever before. However, things reached Defcon 6 levels on today's show when Artie flew into a rage, got into a physical confrontation with his personal assistant and abruptly (and from the sounds of it, tearily) resigned from the show. Audio of the incident follows after the jump. More »

Janice Dickinson's Bulging '90s Physique Has Nothing To Do With Me, Insists Sylvester Stallone

Many of our readers are probably too young to remember this, but there was a time, at the turn of '90s, when rapidly calcifying action star Sylvester Stallone and trap-jawed she-ninja Janice Dickinson were very much in love. It all ended badly, with a Versace catwalkside showdown after Sly learned the paternity of their supposed love child belonged to another man, leaving a shattered Dickinson sobbing into an oversized shoulder pad as she realized he was never coming back. Earlier this month, the modeling agency owner joined Fox News's Red Eye, where she said, "He juiced me. I'd wake up and my arm was as big as Popeye - steroids, testosterone, all that stuff that people say [mimicking Stallone], 'Hey, it's not that good 'cause you get really big, you know what I mean?" Stallone addressed the allegations on Howard Stern's show yesterday: More »

Why Does Judith Regan Look So Good?

This afternoon I had the pleasure of going on former HarperCollins imprint-haver and If I Did It-making-happener Judith Regan's Sirius radio show. She's fun! By which I mean, she didn't hit me! And she confirmed that she couldn't stand the HarperCollins HR department. And also? She looks like a million bucks. She really does. (She is 54.) I didn't have time to ask her for beauty tips (we were too busy talking about how poorly I was dressed and why I want to defame people all the time and of course our book) but the internet provides some answers. I had thought perhaps it was a deal with Satan! But instead: It's coffee enemas with Howard Stern co-host Robin Quivers! More »

Page Six And Howard Stern Make Peace

Page Six honcho Richard Johnson just called into Howard Stern's Sirius radio show. Apparently Howard is miffed because Page Six has been writing bad items about him. Um, as far as Howard recalls, there was something about Howard getting cold feet on his wedding, something about him wearing dentures (which actually turned out to be his anti-bruxism nightguard), and an item about some crazy cab driver who says he has Howard Stern porn? Eesh. Howard says they're "all lies." So Richard Johnson says he has no agenda against Howard. And Howard says, so let's print some real items! And Richard's all, great, gimme some! Aww. That is so sweet.

Everyone's favorite weeping Britney fan YouTube guy is on the phone with Howard Stern right now. He's talking about why he doesn't like Perez Hilton—he and Perez are no longer speaking over Britney. He thinks Britney is "the best singer"—better even than Courtney Love. And: "Who can think of 9/11 at a time like this? Britney, she is a national treasure." Also he is discussing why he likes anal sex. Apparently he is a top, in the gay parlance. He says he'll be on CNN and The View today. Busy!

Short Ends: Vomit, Sperm, And Diamonds

· We suppose that the Celebrity Puke Match Game is pretty easy if you've been keeping up with your celeb-chunk-blowing gossip. More »

Gossip Roundup: Brandon Davis Loves Frenchies