The day after Russell Armstrong's suicide, his business associate also committed suicide. Matthew Fox's vagina-punch victim presses charges. Lady Gaga wears a prosthetic penis. Justin Bieber gets in a fender bender. Wednesday gossip is tawdry.

Anthony Weiner and improbably patient wife Huma Abedin are on an "Italian babymoon," which is when you take time off work to hang out atop an Italian baby's butt. Haha, just kidding, it's when you celebrate the fact that your wife is five months pregnant and still married to you, even though you are a exhibitionist…

Internet penis monster Anthony Weiner and wife Huma Abedin have reportedly sold the Queens apartment they took off the market during his penis scandal. They're looking to settle outside of Weiner's old congressional district, to escape the shame.

Halle Berry was trapped in her house by a stalker. William and Kate have left the country. Anthony Weiner flew to Miami to reconcile with his wife. Gwyneth Paltrow went on vacation to rub her bikini body in your face. Monday's gossip doesn't know if it's coming or going.

Huma Abedin—improbably attractive wife of exhibitionist former congressman Anthony Weiner and right-hand woman to Hillary Clinton—is taking a vacation from her job and her marriage, the New York Post reports:

Former congressman Anthony Weiner and his wife, Hillary Clinton aide Huma Abedin, were spotted at Manhattan restaurant Bottega on Saturday. The pair "spent most of the meal chained to their cell phones," which means that Weiner was probably sexting.

Huma Abedin, Anthony Weiner's wife and a top aide to Hillary Clinton, just returned home today from a week-long trip to Africa. She drove into her house early this morning and has not left since. Dun Dun DUNNNNNN.

Here's why Huma Abedin, the digitally cuckolded wife of Anthony Weiner, has kept a low profile in the wake of her husband's humiliation and quietly signaled that their marriage will survive: She's in a family way.

Much has been made of the fact that bulge-Tweeting congressman Anthony Weiner (8==D - N.Y.) is married to Huma Abedin, a close aide of Secretary of State Hillary Clinton — and that President Clinton officiated at their wedding. But having been through a not entirely dissimilar situation does not seem to have made the…

Yesterday the Clintons feted soon-to-be-married Rep. Anthony Weiner and Hillary's longtime assistant, Huma Abedin, whom people used to think was Hillary's lesbian lover. Bill commented, "If I had a second daughter, it would Huma." Maybe he does, maybe she is?

Anthony Weiner, the annoying whiz-kid congressman who didn't run for mayor this year because he didn't think he'd be able to beat Bloomberg, decided to get married, instead. Sorry, ladies! Huma Abedin is about to become Mrs. Weiner.

Now we know why Anthony Weiner wasn't too eager to run for mayor (and not just because he would have lost, although there's that, too): It's because he's settling down. A spokeswoman for Weiner revealed over the weekend that the congressman proposed to Huma Abedin, a top aide to Hillary Clinton, back in late May. Now…

• A recent Elle photoshoot with Britney Spears turned out to be a bit messier than expected. [P6]
• A photographer has filed suit against Chris Brown. He's claiming the singer's bodyguards beat him up when he tried to take pics of Brown in March. [Us]
• Is Anthony Weiner engaged to Huma Abedin? [P6]
• Jay-Z is…

This month's Vogue—the one with not-so-reformed shoplifter Winona Ryder on the cover—profiles Hillary Clinton's traveling chief-of-staff Huma Abedin, in an article that both reveals more and says less about Abedin than the Observer's April profile of her. (The Observer piece, as Vogue helpfully points out, was done…