1.) What's baby oil made from?

2.) What's propitious?

3.) Brain Babies
They're scary!

4.) People in the New York metro area love misery, as indicated by the most popular stories on the local news.

5.) Brooke Hogan thinks she looks hot as a lesbian. Others disagree.

6.) Bravo aired deleted scenes from the infamous "prostitution whore" finale of Real Housewives of New Jersey. We learned a lot of new things, like GL Juicy J (gays love Juicy Joe).



And we learned that linoleum floors are not desirable in the Garden State.

7.) We also got some insight into what Danielle's sex tape might involve.

8.) 16 and Pregnant is a breeding ground for future Judge Judy litigants: Parents who raise idiots who become parents who raise idiots. It may sound harsh, but that's only if you haven't seen the show.

I do have to agree with the girl on point:

9.) "This man is an idiot."

10.) Janice Dickinson was voted off I'm a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here!
I'm gonna miss her crazy like crazy.

More than anything, we're surprised by the level of literacy in these. But there was probably some intern at LKL changing all the Rs to "are," 2s to "to," and there's to "they're."


Aresmom: Let Speidi know that they're NOT nice people!


AbiClaus: Ask rational questions that Speidi can't answer


CdnBrat: Heidi and Spencer are dumb as stumps!


adlove2: What does Speidi think about the situation in Iran


Brad_Evoy: Mr. King, Heidi & Spencer are just insipid


Tsunflower11: Speidi are a waste of everyone's time!


netters2680: Tired of Speidi


Jo_Crew: Just ignore Speidi and they'll go away!!! Sheesh!


renee162: I'm ready for Speidi's 15 minutes of fame to end!


duckie_lips: Call Speidi on being super rude to Al Roker!


cand2jays: Heidi and Spencer—what a waste of space


Wakamama: Just say NO to Heidi and Spencer!!!


jareeuman: Is she going to cry 'cause she was in the jungle

I've been there before, and I know that once you're that full of shit, you have to get it out in another way, so you just talk about it to anyone who will listen. While they were all sitting around the campfire, the group decided to have a love fest and talk about who their favorite person in camp was and why. When they got to Janice's turn she said, "I love you all. I gotta try to go take a shit."

And while she has constipation of the butt, she has diarrhea of the mouth.

• Susan Boyle's BACKINYOFACE, mothafuckas! She absolutely killed it on the first stop of the Britain's Got Talent tour, performing her standards from Les Miz and Cats [Ed: Blegh! I hate 'Cats.'] for a bunch of old church volunteers. Sounds like she's doing well, which makes everyone happy. [Daily Star]
  
  
• Britney Spears brought her kids and boyfriend with her to England, and the babysitter looks so pissed and unhappy in these photos. Seriously. [PopSugar]
  
  
• Yesterday was Kate and Jon Gosselin's 10th anniversary. She spent the day inflating a bounce-house, screaming at everyone, and eating a popsicle while her maternity amulet swung from her neck. Meanwhile, as you'll read further down, that bounce house is actually a BOUNCE HOUSE OF DEATH. [DListed]
  
  
• Some British tabloid is putting bad slang for "an erection" in their headlines about Paris Hilton giving soccer star Christiano Ronaldo a boner, noting that she gave him an "Eiffel." Right. Anyway, Paris and Ronaldo are hooking up and she spent the day after walking around in her pajamas with Nicky and he spent the day after showing his homies her dirty texts that're probably puns just as bad as Said British Tabloid's. Maybe something about balls, perhaps? [Obligatory "that's hot" here.] And yes, I said "soccer," goddamnit! You can only call it "football" if you're European. Also, if you're European and watch soccer instead of Quidditch, you're an idiot. [Daily Star]
  
  
• Pete Doherty showed up to court with a gigantic wad of cash after leading cops on some kind of wild car chace. This is the ninth time or something Doherty's been arrested this week, and at this point, the British legal system's just thrown up their hands and been like, "Fuck it!" Best part of the item: "Doherty "whooped" when he was granted bail on the grounds his manager Andrew Boyd would provide a £50,000 bond. He was ordered to obey a 12-hour curfew while not performing." Awesome. [Daily Star]
  
  
• Reese Witherspoon debuted her own perfume line, and P*r*z Hi*t*n made a joke about how much Jake Gyllenhaal would enjoy wearing it. Cute. [P*r*z Hi*t*n]
  
  
• Do you have any idea who Aubrey O'Day is? Neither did I, until I did my obligatory "research" (a single, wistful Googling): she was on Making The Band in that Danity Kane act, and it appears as though Diddy did not make her go get cheesecake. Anyway, she's just some D-List whatever, and she was really, really rude on the set of a shoot for some non-profit cause called the No H8 Campaign. Anyway, this could be real or it could jsut be a reach for PR by No H8, but, you know, non-profits reaching for PR isn't the worst thing, especially if they're trying to give me a decent item to run with. There are far worse things, you know? [P*r*z H*lt*n]
  
  
• Lauren Conrad, wearing a strange wig for a photoshoot. [Just Jared]
  
  
• Kristen Stewart, looking all punk and crazy and awesome with black stringy hair. Related: what happens when Twilight finally makes Goth cool for the popular kids? What happens to the Goths? Do they go shopping at Hollister? DO NOT GET. [Pink Is The New Blog]
  
  
• Birds with arms. Weird! [URLesque]
  
  
• Evan Rachel Wood went from hooking up with Nazi pube shaver Marilyn Manson to the guy from ER who was in A Walk To Remember with Mandy Moore. Nicely done. A Walk To Remember started with this great New Radicals song, and that's the only reason this item is here. Seriously. So I could post that. [Daily Star]
  
  
• Not at all a Gossip Item, but: Six Flags is going bankrupt! Meanwhile, while I was researching something fun to write about this item involving roller coasters, I came across the aptly named tragedy-fetishist website, RideAccidents.com. Yes, every roller coaster and/or amusement park accident chronicled in one place, in what looks to be a fairly well-kept database, yet again proving that if there was something out there you weren't afraid of, the internet will make every attempt to put The Unimpeachable Fear in you about it. Including inflatables. Seriously: inflatables, Kate. Be scared. Be very scared. [NY Daily News]
  
  
• President Barack Obama in a gossip roundup? Yes! Because this isn't deserving of any kind of actual news cycle: he spoke up in favor of nicotine legislation to regulate tobacco sales even as his press man Robert Gibbs dodged questions from the White House Press Corps about the president's smoking habits. It goes like this: cigs are bad, and any president who didn't say that or do something about them being bad is bad. But! He smokes, because he's addicted. And that's bad, too. But he's also in better shape than so many of the other presidents we have. God, life is complicated. [NY Daily News]
  
  
• Not invincible from the recession: Baldwins. Stephen (who still has yet to match the brilliance of this in his career) is having his house foreclosed upon while filming I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here. [Dlisted]

She went on to say, "I used to live in New York City, Heidi. If somebody started singing like that, somebody would go, 'Yeah, shut up!'" Janice justified her remarks by saying it was "constructive criticism. That's what I do."

Heidi and Spencer have been all about Jesus since they returned to the show, which prompted them to begin a fast. (That might explain why they complained that they hadn't eaten in several days, at first blaming it on producers of the show.) Anyway, the religious experience affected Heidi, even in her sleep.

It wouldn't be surprising if "Jesus" was a pet name for Spencer's boner. John Salley would know, since he was watching.

It should be noted that later that morning Heidi vomited repeatedly.

After several bouts of nausea, Heidi was rushed to a hospital, and Spencer put the entire ordeal into perspective.

As the story goes: Heidi and Spencer got down there, and hated it, and quit the show. Twice.

So much of the story that ensues - the premise of the show, the extent of the Pratts' involvement, whether or not Heidi sustained any kind of injuries or sickness, the entire dimension in which it takes place! - could be or probably is utter and complete bullshit. Take, for example, a statement obtained by E! via one Mr. Paul Telegdy:

Last week, NBC exec Paul Telegdy said the "insincere, lazy, entitled" Pratts had to endure a stint in "isolation" before producers would decide the twosome's fate on Monday's show, vowing that the Pratts "really are going to bare their souls."

About this Telegdy fellow: he works under Ben Silverman at NBC, heading up reality programming. Our source explains that Telegdy was the one who recruited the Pratts for the show, capitalizing on their desire to transition from cable stars to network television properties. Telegdy - a British, former BBC exec, to paint the picture - had to fly down to Costa Rica himself to convince the Pratts to stay on the show after they realized that (1) the other celebrities sucked, (2) they'd actually have to do the stunts (eating bugs, etc) and (3) they wanted more money to do it. They walked off the set, and Telegdy came in and negotiated a higher salary for the Pratts to hang in there. They still weren't happy.

Meanwhile in LA, Ben Silverman has to cancel the season's first strategy meeting on Thursday with all the new showrunners, creative executives, and producers citing Telegdy's absence, creating a bit of a mess back at a somewhat troubled, fourth-place NBC.

You know what happens next: they're back on the show, and all of the sudden, Heidi gets "rushed" to the hospital last night. Spencer Pratt Twitters: "locked in a dark room for 3 days w no food or water."

TMZ notes that it was no more than ten hours, with food, and water. Furthermore, there were medics on the scene, the entire thing was filmed, they're full of shit.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.And just this evening: "Spencer and Heidi Pratt quit the show last Monday, and stayed in hotels for three days." Nice. This is presumably while Telegdy was negotiating their new salary. Also: "They were indoors at all times protected from the elements, even though other cast members have been sleeping outside in daily thunderstorms." Their kicker, however, is brilliant: "Spencer says it's all BS ... they were effectively tortured and he's planning on suing NBC."

So, what's the upshot of all this?

The publicity's a win-win: Speidi will take whatever attention they can get, if that hasn't been made obvious enough. NBC got their show publicized for free by a huge news cycle.

Telegdy will probably be seen as an absolute genius for making this work if the ratings for the show prove his worth. If they don't, he'll be to blame for the entire thing away, Pratt mess or no mess. His employers are only interested in numbers. Silverman's going to be judged on the same criteria as Telegdy. But the Pratts?

Who would want to work with them in Hollywood ever again? If this is all true: they took a set hostage, they fucked up meetings, timetables, production schedules, and tried to pin what sounds like absolute bullshit on their producers. In a just world, nobody. But they're probably going to get a feature in the next month or two, because that's the way this all works.

Really, the only losers in this thing are us. It's so hard to discern what's bullshit and what isn't in regards to reality show "stars" and their happenings, their product, and their image, that - rather than go through the complicated process of sifting out what's real and what isn't - it's easier to just accept all of this as an ultimate blurring of truth and fiction and get over our hangups in discerning the difference.

Maybe Heidi Pratt is sick, maybe she isn't. But the next time you read something about Heidi falling into a volcano on the set of Celebrity Bounty Hunter: Xtreme Edition, you'd probably just do best to ignore it, lest your head hurt any more than it does now.

The killjoys of the Illinois State Senate are passing some terrible bill that wouldn't allow elected officials "convicted" of "misconduct" from cashing in on their fame.

If the governor is convicted, he must "forfeit any monetary rights derived from any book, movie, television, radio program, or Internet depiction or detailing of the crime for which he or she was convicted."

Uh but wait, Patti "That Fucking Cubs Shit" Blagojevich is exempt from the bill, so she totally gets to go be on I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here, even though she is not a "celebrity," she is just the crazy, cursey wife of Rod Blagojevich. What the hell, Illinois.

Blago attempted to portray the appearance on NBC's I'm a Celebrity ... Get Me Out of Here! as a job opportunity which paid $80,000 a show and will allow him to provide for his kids. He's been unemployed since being removed from office, and is facing multiple corruption charges. A Costa Rican official noted that he'd be a free man in that country, as he doesn't have any convictions — just that impeachment thing.

U.S. District Judge James Zagel cannily forbade the gig. "I don't think this defendant in all honesty ... fully understands the position he finds himself in," he said in court. Oh, we think Blago understands. And if anyone was going to go on the lam in the jungles of Central America, it's Blago.

(Photo by Brian Jackson/Sun-Times))

Blago, who just pled "not guilty" to federal corruption charges in the most insane way possible, is in talks to star in a forthcoming survival-style reality show on NBC, the Chicago Tribune reports. His attorney just warned the judge in his case that the governor will soon ask for dispensation from his travel restrictions to travel to the Costa Rican's jungle for the show.

Here's the show's official description (via Hollywood Reporter):

"Ten celebrities of various backgrounds will be dropped into the heart of the Costa Rican jungle to face challenges designed to test their skills in adapting to the wilderness and to raise money for their favorite charities."

It's not yet clear which charity Blago plans to shake down over his potential winnings.