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John Updike: Sexual Adventurer

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♥AntiSocialSocialite♥
02/10/09

In reply to John Updike: Sexual Adventurer
His list of known conquests are all very vanilla-sounding: a choir teacher, an heiress, a single (now married) woman, and a fellow church member. I hardly categorize this as adventurous.
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jrhys
02/10/09

@BeccaSaurus Rex: In 1970's New England? When marriage meant the beginning of people's sexual adventures, not the end ? When said ladies were full of Miltowns and Valium, smoking weed and reading Fear of Flying and the Joy of Sex, voting McGovern and going to est weekends? When everyone knew each other in those small towns? I wouldn't judge a vanilla book by that cover. I must say before AIDS - ( ah my halcyon high school days ) , there was truly a lot more sport fucking of all kinds. The following generations are amazingly prudish in comparison.
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priestess
02/10/09

In reply to John Updike: Sexual Adventurer
I will never forgive my English professor for making us read one of the "Rabbit" books. So awful I nearly used it as kindling, and a bizarre choice for eighteen year olds. Guess the professor wanted to read it. Updike's male characters liked to have mid-life crises. I believe in his last book one of them made out with a thirteen year old.
I don't like to say that pedophilia was of interest to the man since he's not here to defend himself but...yuck.
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virgilicious
02/10/09

@priestess:

You're implying that Updike was a pedophile because he had a character in one of his books who did something disgusting.

But because he's dead, you'll just mention it, while pretending you're too classy to mention it.

Wow.

Some people should stick to watching TV.
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FreddieBietzsche
02/10/09

@virgilicious: Again, I have to say: It's getting grim around here.
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jrhys
02/10/09

@FreddieBietzsche: Hear hear. I'll be at the Enchanted Forest, come and get me from the porch when it blows over.
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FreddieBietzsche
02/10/09

In reply to John Updike: Sexual Adventurer
All right, so the old man tapped some ass. Good for him. Go in peace, Mr. U.
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Smitros
02/10/09

@FreddieBietzsche:

But how am I supposed to snicker at a comment like that?
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FreddieBietzsche
02/10/09

@Smitros: Sorry, when it comes to ass tapping, I fail to snark. You can tap enough maple syrup, and you can tap enough dance, but you can never tap enough ass.
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Smitros
02/10/09

@FreddieBietzsche:

I'm not sure about the maple syrup part. It's amazing how much sap you need to start with.
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MrInBetween
02/10/09

In reply to John Updike: Sexual Adventurer
Is that a photograph of Updike's post-funeral get-together ? If it is, the ghost of Updike surely appreciated that it resembles a swinging '70s key party.
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hollygirl
02/10/09

@MrInBetween: Its from the ice Storm.
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saythatscool
02/10/09

@hollygirl: Specifically, the key party scene from the Ice Storm. But the figures are so small that it's pretty hard to recognize any of the actors.
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MrInBetween
02/10/09

@hollygirl: Thank you for clarifying. It was probably one of U.'s favorite films.
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sassenach
02/10/09

In reply to John Updike: Sexual Adventurer
Wouldn't a "clipper ship heiress" be about 135 years old?
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Zorica
02/10/09

@sassenach: Old money dies hard.
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JacquesPaysan
02/10/09

@sassenach: That would make her an über-cougar, no?
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hollygirl
02/10/09

In reply to John Updike: Sexual Adventurer
He himself was not a WASP.
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Smitros
02/10/09

In reply to John Updike: Sexual Adventurer
The pen and the sword are sometimes concurrently mighty.
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JacquesPaysan
02/10/09

@Smitros: Doncha mean the PEEN and the sword?
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Smitros
02/10/09

@JacquesPaysan:

Ha!

I meant sword=peen, but there are plenty of other good synonyms out there for the male organ of generation.
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blix
02/10/09

@Smitros: Heat-seeking moisture missile of letters.
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Smitros
02/10/09

@blix:

A brilliant beginning of a presumably long list.

Yes, long.
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FormerEnglishMajor
02/10/09

@Smitros: I dunno. Salman Rushdie scored Padma. The library lady, the kids' choir teacher, and some guy's ex-wife? That sounds like shooting fish in a barrel in a bored New England town.
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Kitten_Witawip
02/10/09

@Smitros: I'll take the penis mightier for $100 Alex.
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Smitros
02/10/09

@FormerEnglishMajor:

You might be taking my comment more seriously than I am (which is kind of flattering).

Then again, I don't know much about New England or South Asian diasporic culture.
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hollygirl
02/10/09

@Smitros: Nice one.
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Zorica
02/10/09

@Kitten_Witawip: I'll take SWORDS for $200.

Just had to, since it dovetails so nicely with Smitros' brilliant thread-starter.
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Smitros
02/10/09

@Zorica:

You're alive! Good.

You may have to compare prices with the back pages of the Voice.
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Nic Fit
02/10/09

In reply to John Updike: Sexual Adventurer
Fucking a bunch of different women is adventurous? That makes the average Gawker commenter truly Dionysian.
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Nice Beaver
02/10/09

@Nic Fit: Wait, I thought we were all virgins. We're not all virgins? Oh, um, same here. I hump lots of ladies in their lady parts with my boy parts. I get so tired from all the humping that I need to take a nap in my satin pajamas on my champange glass bed.
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skahammer
02/10/09

@Nic Fit: You're right. There's been a curious undercurrent of unearned prudishness in several of the Updike appreciations published recently.

When do we as a culture grow out of this habit? It almost makes me wish for another Britney or Paris vadge flash.
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Smitros
02/10/09

@Nard:

Smoove? Is that you?
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Kid Twist
02/10/09

@Nard: I thought we were all gay.
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jiminy.peep
02/10/09

@Kid Twist: I thought we were all just curious and tender minxes.
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saythatscool
02/10/09

@jiminy.peep: I thought we were all pansexuals. I'm eating out a praying mantis right now. Keep your fingers crossed for me!
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JacquesPaysan
02/10/09

@Nic Fit: Speak for yourself. I still live in my parents' basement.
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