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salutes
Posts Tagged “
Idiots
”
salutes
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"Yoga! Yoga! I Mean. Toga! Toga!"
[Gossip girls Michelle Trachtenberg and Lydia Hearst at NYLON's "Young Hollywood Issue" party in New York last night; image via INF]
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Little Circus Bumbles Into Town
[Reality TV stars Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag (under the hat!) at LAX yesterday; image via Bauer-Griffin]
Fashion Disaster!
Entertainment Weekly reports today that the highly successful reality competition show Project Runway, once it moves to Lifetime for its sixth season, will be filmed in Los Angeles. Because, um, that's... uh... Actually I can't think of why that would be a good idea in any way. Lifetime denies, but EW has two "well placed sources" that say otherwise.
trends
Internet, Tell Me What To Do
More and more people are turning to the New York Times to tell them what to think about the growing number of people who are turning to the internet to tell them what to think. Can't make a decision about your hair? The internet will tell you what to do. In a groundbreaking story, the Times reveals that your annoying "should I get bangs or not" friend is now subjecting the masses to her neuroses. And women aren't the only ones seeking validation from strangers. Men are using Flickr to ask if they should keep their goatee. The answer, unless you're a college freshman at a Dave Matthews concert, is no. But all this Wisdom of Crowds stuff is upsetting corporations! More »
drugs
Poor Little Heroin Addict Sent To Bad Place
Pete Doherty, an entertainer of children who just may have some blood in his heroin system, has been thrown in the clink. The Babyshambles frontman and former paramour of hollow-boned Kate Moss ("Ow, my bones...") has been sent to English prison (a land without tea) for 14 weeks. On what charges, my good man? Well, for "breach of time keeping, non-compliance of his order and using different drugs." Ah. Different drugs. Had he stayed with the old ones... well, none of this would have happened. He'll miss two scheduled performances and untold instances of pants-wetting and sadness-inducing, and is thusly looking into filing an appeal. Perhaps the outcome of the appeal will finally determine once and for all if Pete is in fact famous enough to never really get in trouble, or if he's just a miserable shit like the rest of us. [Showbiz Spy]
nerd alert
This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read
College students at 65 separate institutions are actively play Quidditch, the fictional game J. K. Rowling invented for the fictional character Harry Potter. As one Middlebury student says in this clip from CBS News, "when you put this broom between your legs, you really are flying." Ok, dude. Excelsior! If Harry Potter is the only thing that can save publishing, then maybe the industry deserves to die..jpg)
simplifications
Obama Locks Up The Idiotic Facebook Vote
Perhaps the only thing sadder than seeing a friend with a Facebook broken heart in their mini-feed is spotting a friend who has Barack Obama as their Facebook picture. It's one thing to be a "fan" of Barack Obama, or even Michelle Obama, who is admittedly quite fierce. But when a friend changes their profile picture to Barack Obama and joins the supplemental Facebook group, one has to wonder what they're thinking. More »
identity crises
Identity Thieves Too Stupid To Live
Skanky (but well-educated!) identity thieves Jocelyn Kirsch and Edward Anderton, arrested last week for stealing the identities of their Philadelphia neighbors, do not lack for balls. After being booked, the two went home to the condo—and the neighbors they robbed—to hang out until it was time to get re-arrested on additional charges. Kirsch's parents are both plastic surgeons—and guess what Daddy bought his college kid for Christmas a few years back? Implants, naturally! This year, the two would prefer a deal from the D.A., pretty please.
"Pony rides and face painting don't make for a good parent," Dina Matmos McGreevey emailed to former Jersey love guv and gay seminarian Jim McGreevey last week, demanding that he cancel this coming weekend's 6th birthday party for their daughter because she has custody that week. Do you know what happens to kids whose parents use them as tools of petty revenge? That's right: Tiny Courtney Loves. [NYP]
flack attack
D.C. Opera Hero Hung Out To Dry By 'WaPo' Editor, Crackhead
So Wired editor Chris Anderson can publicly name and excoriate "lazy flacks" who waste his oh-so-precious time with their emails—but Tim Page, the Washington Post classical music critic, is not allowed to send private emails trashing idiot publicists. Last Wednesday, in response to a dumb email blast on behalf of D.C.'s second and fourth mayor Marion Barry, Page wrote back: "Must we hear about it every time this Crack Addict attempts to rehabilitate himself with some new—and typically half witted—political grandstanding?" Page has been "disciplined," says the Post, and also publicly shamed by Executive Editor Len Downie. In addition, Marion Barry employs the worst communications director working in politics today. When a question was posed to him about the Page situation via email, his first response was: "Who are you and why are sending emails to me?" Now that's talent.
absolute explosions
Wildfire Disaster: Not Helping Magazine Web Traffic!
For six long days, wildfires have raged across southern California, displacing thousands, destroying millions of dollars worth of property; they still threaten tens of thousands of homes. Seven people are confirmed dead and an area twice the size of New York City is a charred wasteland. But the magazines must go on. According to Folio, the fires "have affected countless numbers of staffers at the region's magazines, publishers there say, but have yet to disrupt magazine production." More »
sadsacks
Steve Almond Is A Hypocrite And A Bad Reader
"God bless you!" wrote Steve Almond's editor Julia Cheiffetz to me, after we ran a long excerpt from Steve's new essay collection, effectively shoving the book into the consciousness of at least the 6,966 readers who clicked on the post and who may not have previously known of its existence. Today, Steve writes on the Huffington Post that "Until a few weeks ago, I'd never paid much attention to Gawker. I had a vague sense that they were a gossip website that had something to do with New York. Then my editor sent me a link to a post they wrote about me. As it turned out, they'd been talking shit about me for a while." More »
"In town for a new product launch this week, Starbucks chief executive Howard Schultz implied that New Yorkers were wholeheartedly embracing the changing character of their city. Asked just how many Starbucks locations he thinks the city can support, Schultz discussed the many emails he gets requesting new stores." Uh, yeah. If there are any New Yorkers out there who have sent Howard Schultz an e-mail asking for YET ANOTHER STARBUCKS, we want you to come down to the office this afternoon. We'd like to a) verify that you really exist and b) stab you in the genitals with a rusty hacksaw. [AMNY]
our bovine public
Beauty Pageant Contestant As Smart As The President
Here's Miss Teen USA contestant Lauren Caitlin Upton answering a politically-charged question about American's inability to locate their own country on a map. Her answer more or less directly proves the validity of the question. South Carolinians must be beaming with pride right now!
"But in the present climate, asking that presidential candidates support same-sex marriage—while serving an important moral purpose—demands a significant political sacrifice. At most, gays should expect a president to act as a bulwark against congressional attempts to limit their rights and to support congressional attempts to defend those rights." [TNR]
your money
Who Will Explain Today's Stock Market To Us Idiots?
So the Dow is way down today. The Times says it's a "crunch in the American credit market." That's not a very helpful turn of phrase! But even we know that trading on the NYSE has been weird—peak volumes, stuff going on—and like, something about mortages and the like that pissed off Jim Cramer. Also job cuts and stuff? How does this fit together? Without using phrases like "subprime crisis," can someone explain to me 1. What's going to happen to those of us who tucked our wee savings in the stock market and 2. Are any of you ever going to be able to buy a brownstone in Brooklyn? Show your math!
"A New Zealand couple is looking to call their newborn son Superman—but only because their chosen name of 4Real has been rejected by the government registry." [Reuters]
