In papers filed in Manhattan Federal Court, Victoria's Secret said it wants the court to consider a study it conducted.

The survey found only five of 308 people who bought hair care products associated the word "sexy" with a single company and made any reference to Sexy Hair Concepts and its offerings.

Victoria's Secret, which also introduced the Very Sexy bra, said its study proves "that the word 'sexy' has not acquired distinctiveness among purchasers of hair care products."

To be fair, if Sexy Hair Concepts loses their Sexy monopoly, they will have some serious branding problems. Their product line:

Brands that are "Crap": Ford, H&M, Myspace, Mcdonald's, AT&T.

Brands that are "Stupid": Evian, Twitter, YouTube, MTV, Harley-Davidson.

Brands that are "Retarded": Skype, Microsoft, Twitter, MTV, London 2012.

Brands that are "Douchebag": Blackberry, Dodge, BMW, Puma, Corona

Brands that are "Suck": Yahoo, London 2012, Skype, HP, Microsoft

[Brand Tags via WSJ]

The Daily News' Richard Huff points out that ratings for the previous episode, which aired before the photo controversy broke, were also down:

Compared to the first original show of the year, which aired in January, viewership for Sunday's show was down 33%.

That suggests the hubbub over series star Miley Cyrus' questionable photos in Vanity Fair neither helped nor hurt with viewership. Rather, "Hannah" was on a decline before the photo dustup.

Disney CEO Bob Iger has the obligatory quote about how the Miley "franchise" is "incredibly robust." But Huff suggest that she could already be on an inevitable downward slide, at least among young fans. Which would certainly cause her advisers to tell her to grow up, quick.

Experience shows that kid franchises such as "Hannah" that hit the rare white-hot phase are good for roughly 18 months, then start to fade.

"Hannah Montana" had been the top-rated show with young viewers the past two seasons, but because of the slow rollout this year, the heat has moved to the "Wizards of Waverly Place," starring Selena Gomez (who has appeared on "Hannah"), which now holds the slot as Disney's top show.

Greatest Hits: Smoking Is Terrorism

At Least It Helped Literacy In Spain

Scary Foreshadowing By Pakistani Airlines

Nature Has 9-11 Too!

MTV Is Concerned About Hunger As Well As 9-11

In France, the scorpion represents the threat of AIDS. Always use condoms when having sex with a scorpion

This scorpion-shaped carrot is Greenpeace's way of scaring you away from genetically engineered vegetables. That is some nasty engineering.

Stella Espresso Coffee should probably fire the ad agency that decided to depict the "bite" of their coffee with an image of a scorpion crawling up some lady's nose.

[via Adrants]

His publicist, Ronn Torossian, said the jiggle-happy entrepreneur planned to return to his home in Los Angeles later tonight.

"He's looking forward to watching Girls Gone Wild movies and is excited about the launch of the magazine," the rep said. "We're going to be doing some things tonight in L.A. with family and friends."

[via E! Online]

[Photos via NYT]

And you can find a few more Oscar shots are over at Guest of a Guest.

Arianna Huffington pens the accompanying story, in which she touts Hillary's "evolving styles (including her Oscar de la Renta pantsuits, which she pays for herself)." Maybe so, but wearing $12,369 on your person being photographed with ladies (sorry Senator!) wearing $12,000 between them (on left, CBS Newser Hannah Storm) while you go around being oh-so vague about how you're going to pay for that universal healthcare plan doesn't really fly right. Also in the spread—Michael Bloomberg! Who is totally not running for anything at all.

He "says he walked into jail with pills and cash because he was not searched and didn't know better," and he also "argues this is all payback for defying the power structure in Bay County with his First Amendment lawsuit." Ok, totally convinced!

Maybe Joe will use some of his downtime to hone his new website, which includes the most unconvincing open letter of all time. There's more crazy in it than can be easily explained, but here's how it concludes. "It might be a stretch to say that I'm just your average Joe, but as you explore this site, I think you'll come to find that my desires, dreams and disappointments aren't terribly different from your own."

She used street lingo to describe the impotence that follows crystal-meth drug use and the change in male sexual position that such use sometimes prompts. Dr. Blank then stared at this reporter's tape recorder.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said. "Burn it when you're done. Put it in a bag when you leave."

Confronting Syphilis, Quite Candidly [NYT]

Julia continues:

Although the rhetorical question "how is that my problem?" is a fairly egocentric thing to say, actually. It presupposes that I really don't care what anyone else thinks, which, I'm sorry to say, isn't the case. (Inconveniently.) I don't care what all people think, and I certainly have different standards than ... ugh, you know what? I'm totally bored by this line of thinking right now. So I'm just ending the paragraph.

You're sort of like a high proof shot. There is a lot of energy, it's confrontational, it's in your face, and people make that shot face. But in the end the fact is that you are a big dork. Your farts smell and you think they are funny. You pick up dirt and make people look at it. You produce and stick by some of the most retarded stories ever created to explain how that stupid thing everyone just saw you do was totally not your fault. And that's endearing to your friends and family because they are all dorks under the façade of success too.

Dear Sarah Lawrence Alumnae/i,

We thought you would want to know that the new edition of U.S. News & World Report's annual college rankings is out today — and it lists Sarah Lawrence and 17 other liberal arts colleges in a new category called "unranked." This classification, not used previously for liberal arts colleges, includes institutions that do not consider SAT or ACT scores, as in the case of SLC, and schools for which there were insufficient responses to the peer assessment survey as well as other unrelated criteria.

Sarah Lawrence officials met with U.S. News staff last fall to discuss the College's nontraditional requirements for admission, including the decision in 2004 not to consider SAT or ACT scores. They were told that in the absence of data, the methodology used for calculating rankings would likely cause Sarah Lawrence to fall out of the designated "top tier," which includes a majority of our peer or admission-crossover institutions. In its admission process, SLC relies heavily on students' essays and high school record.

"Sarah Lawrence has a legacy of producing exceptional graduates, and based on applications and student performance since our SAT decision, student achievement continues to be excellent," said Karen R. Lawrence, who this month became the College's 10th president. "The same individualized attention that we give to students at SLC is given to applications in a holistic approach that doesn't reduce individuals to scores. It helps us recruit remarkable students and we expect to continue to do so."

In a Washington Post op-ed this spring, President Emerita Michele Myers criticized the rankings for its flawed methodology. She said of U.S. News in a New York Times interview that followed, "They will do what they do and we will do what we do."

Along with sharing even more data on the College Web for prospective students, Sarah Lawrence is working with the Annapolis Group, a consortium of the leading liberal arts colleges, as well as other national organizations to create Web-based tools that will help students and their families better evaluate their higher education options.

Earlier: Sarah Lawrence Proves Itself Almost Worthy Of Most Annoying Liberal Arts College Crown

Now we seriously wonder for the first time if we'll all look back on this and laugh about a messy divorce and a family drama—or if we'll always be thinking of him as that funny, funny total asshole.

April 24, 10:03 p.m.: Saw Alec Baldwin sitting on a bench outside on the corner of 11th street and Hudson in the west village. he was talking on a cellphone—must not have been talking to his daughter because was very calm and polite.

Apr 25, 2:41 p.m.: Psycho Alec Baldwin at the American Airlines theater right now. How the hell can this man go to the theater, out for fun, when he's losing his kid? Hey, man, rethink your priorities.