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Posts Tagged “
Immigration
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Crime
Martha Stewart Barred From UK; English Cutesy Merchants May Suffer
The UK does not want Martha Stewart no matter how many lines of crockery she's designed for Wedgwood! The UK Border Agency has barred the felonious lifestyle queen from entering the country, presumably because of her criminal ways here in America. It's admirable consistency for the agency—famous star criminals must be kept out along with the common scum. But it may turn out to be a crippling blow for England's Toad-in-the-hole industry: More »
endorsement
Lou Dobbs For Governor
CNN shouter Lou Dobbs is apparently "mulling a run for New Jersey governor." Oh, please let that be true! Current governor Jon Corzine is quite unpopular and "Republican officials" claim the oddly orange-hued pseudo-populist pundit is "taking steps toward running" for that prestigious office himself. We cannot think of a better idea! For so many reasons! More »
advertising
Skyy Vodka: Mexicans Stay Out!
Skyy Vodka belatedly saw a good opportunity for some free PR with this whole Absolut Mexico ad brouhaha, which really hit its zenith a week ago. But the second-rate liquor company came lumbering in today with a faux-cheeky press release about how they support the Treaty of Hidalgo, which ended the Mexican-American War in 1848. Oh they don't want America to be Mexico. We get it! And Skyy has now reaped some added benefit by drawing the public support of the flag-waving xenophobe crowd at BoycottAbsolut.com! Full press release, with choice patriotic quotes opposing invasion of the US, after the jump. More »
seal the borders
The Ignorant Announce Absolut Boycott
Global liquor conglomerates, take note: a hastily constructed website is calling for a boycott of Absolut. Run a humorous ad in Mexico and face financial ruin, Pernod Ricard corporation! "Absolut vodka is trying to sell liquor to Mexicans that aspire to control the Southwest United States," reveals boycott organizer William "Yosemite" Gheen. Now if he can only get Matt Sanchez on his side...Despite its insistence on spelling the company's name "Absolute," the website has already attracted more than 120 visits and nearly 7 comments. But its visual and documentary evidence of the brewing Mexican separatist movement that threatens American freedom may be its most powerful tool: More »
lou dobbs
Film Promises to Jerk Jerk's Tears
Under the Same Moon is, we're told, "a heart-warming tale of a Mexican immigrant mom working as a domestic in Los Angeles, and her Mexico-residing son from whom she's separated." It will open in limited release in April, and apparently the attached commercial for it is airing today on CNN. CNN specifically because the three review quotes pulled for the trailer all claim the film would have a profound emotional effect on Lou Dobbs, the noted Xenophobic scumbag. Of course, a cute Mexican kid would not actually have any effect on Lou Dobbs whatsoever. He would only cry if you took away his millions of dollars, or possibly his daughter's pony. Trailer below. More »
crazies
Beloved Author Larry Niven Will Solve the Heath Care Mess by Lying to Immigrants
Legendary SciFi author Larry Niven is apparently a far-right-wing crank. A far-right-wing crank who advises the Department of Homeland Security! Niven, famous for his richly detailed stories of precisely defined aliens coexisting with humans, is now famous for trying to explain to a room full of government officials that "a good way to help hospitals stem financial losses is to spread rumors in Spanish within the Latino community that emergency rooms are killing patients in order to harvest their organs for transplants." Also: "The problem [of hospitals going broke] is hugely exaggerated by illegal aliens who aren't going to pay for anything anyway." The man wrote the Ringworld series and invented the Flash Mob so he's beloved by nerds and obviously qualified to advise important government agencies on how best to deal with the Latino menace. [Guanabee]
border patrol
Lou Dobbs Defends The Working Man At Ironic Locale
Kind of the most astounding lede we've read this week: "So I was having lunch at the Four Seasons with Lou Dobbs the other day, locked in disagreement over who cared more about working people, him or me." (The answer? Lou Dobbs is not swayed by reasoned arguments or civil discussion, demonstrates no interest in workable solutions to problems he identifies for the purposes of who've made him an unlikely TV star.) [NYT]
immigration
Amy Winehouse Banned From America
The druggy singer has been denied entry to the New World. She had been scheduled to perform at the Grammy Awards on Sunday, but I guess now it's a big no, no, no. (Get it???) Her continued legal problems and recent stint in rehab are most likely why the US Embassy in London denied her visa. At last report, Winehouse was seen poking around the docks in Southampton, looking to smuggle herself aboard a steamship. [NYT]
Even though there aren't any gay neighborhoods anymore, all the gays in Latin America are still moving to New York to be Out and Proud. But they don't really need those lame old homosexualist ghettos because they're all super-rich. They can never go home again, despite their massive wealth, so they're forced to live like kings in New York and read Details. [Details]
