• Profile logout login

#importantresearch

Gawker

Share Cancel
   
Upload an image | Add an image URL
×

logging in
  • FAQ. Include # before tag:
  • #tips,
  • #stalker,
  • #opencaption,
  • #internalmemos,
  • etc.

New York, 1:51 AM
Sat Dec 5
54 posts in the last 24 hours

Team

Tip Your Editors:

Tipline: 646-214-8138

Editor-in-Chief:
Gabriel Snyder |

West Coast Editor:
Richard Rushfield |

Contributing Editors:

Valleywag:
Ryan Tate |

Media:
Hamilton Nolan |

Politics:
Alex Pareene |

Investigations:
John Cook |

Entertainment:
Brian Moylan |

Nights:
Adrian Chen |
Azaria Jagger |
Ravi Somaiya |

Weekends:
Foster Kamer |

Video Editor:
Richard Blakeley |

SUBSCRIBE TO Gawker RSS

New: Breaking news and daily top stories via email
4260 Subscribers
Gawker
  • posts about #importantresearch more →

    Axe Proven To Help Dumb Men Attract Mates
  • Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.
    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of ragepotato ragepotato
    01/08/09

    In reply to Axe Proven To Help Dumb Men Attract Mates
    Even more important--98.4% of AXE users can go fuck themselves.
     Reply
    ragepotato was starred ragepotato was unstarred
    Image of DrGirlfriend DrGirlfriend
    01/08/09

    In reply to Axe Proven To Help Dumb Men Attract Mates
    I think Family Guy summed up all these "male body sprays" pretty well.


    [www.videovat.com]

     Reply
    DrGirlfriend was starred DrGirlfriend was unstarred
    Image of Truculent Truculent
    01/08/09

    In reply to Axe Proven To Help Dumb Men Attract Mates
    Axe smells like diesel fuel. And it's more persistent than skunk.
     Reply
    Truculent was starred Truculent was unstarred
    Image of peperony and chease peperony and chease
    01/08/09

    @Truculent: To me, it smells like shame. Morepersistent than skunk indeed.
     Reply
    peperony and chease was starred peperony and chease was unstarred
    Image of Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate
    01/08/09

    In reply to Axe Proven To Help Dumb Men Attract Mates
    Yeah I got suckered in by that "applied confidence" trick with my husband. Of course he's a German hick, so his applied confidence is bear grease and taproom floor, which makes me think of Axe fondly.*


    *This is all a big lie.

     Reply
    Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate was starred Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate was unstarred
    Image of easternsike easternsike
    01/08/09

    In reply to Axe Proven To Help Dumb Men Attract Mates
    she has quite an ass for a white girl
     Reply
    easternsike was starred easternsike was unstarred
    Image of Smitros Smitros
    01/08/09

    @easternsike:


    Yeah, and she's washing his car.

     Reply
    Smitros was starred Smitros was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    01/08/09

    In reply to Axe Proven To Help Dumb Men Attract Mates
    When another human smells right to you, their particular stank is like a magical combination of an aphrodisiac and a tranquilizer. No amount of Axe Body Spray can create that, but it can and will mask a lot of your charm. My advice to you menfolk (especially those who like ladies) is to skip these twee-smelling concoctions and let your odiferous freak flag fly, but of course in moderation. Those of us with highly tuned senses of smell, i.e., the estrogen-making population, will find you.
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of Iceland Spar Iceland Spar
    01/08/09

    @BookishLookish: Hmmm, while this post almost convinced me to go buy the entire line of Axe products, you and Dismal have convinced me. I'm now going to just sprinkle myself with sawdust in the mornings.
     Reply
    Iceland Spar was starred Iceland Spar was unstarred
    Image of Hydroceph Hydroceph
    01/08/09

    @Iceland_Spar: you'll have better luck with the sawdust.
     Reply
    Hydroceph was starred Hydroceph was unstarred
    Image of cockfightbarmitzvah cockfightbarmitzvah
    01/08/09

    In reply to Axe Proven To Help Dumb Men Attract Mates
    I exclusively use Gene Simmons' "KISS Cologne". I mean sure it smells like Rogaine and ball sweat, but as a member of the KISS Army, I have no choice but to comply with their rules.
     Reply
    cockfightbarmitzvah was starred cockfightbarmitzvah was unstarred
    Image of Botswana Meat Commission FC Botswana Meat Commission FC
    01/08/09

    @cockfightbarmitzvah:


    Oh fuck me that's the funniest thing I've ever read. HA.

     Reply
    Botswana Meat Commission FC was starred Botswana Meat Commission FC was unstarred
    Image of NoWireHangers NoWireHangers
    01/08/09

    In reply to Axe Proven To Help Dumb Men Attract Mates
    I like men to not smell like b.o., but I don't think I've ever smelled a cologne that I liked. There has to be a happy medium. Some jerk at the gym douched with some funky musk before mounting the elliptical next to me, and when he began to sweat I started to hallucinate.
     Reply
    NoWireHangers was starred NoWireHangers was unstarred
    Image of Hydroceph Hydroceph
    01/08/09

    @NoWireHangers: I'm pretty sure you're allowed to kill people like that, although you'll want to check the fine print on your membership contract, first.
     Reply
    Hydroceph was starred Hydroceph was unstarred
    Image of sweetbeans sweetbeans
    01/08/09

    In reply to Axe Proven To Help Dumb Men Attract Mates
    One tuna fish sandwich behind each ear is sufficient.
     Reply
    sweetbeans was starred sweetbeans was unstarred
    Image of CodePink CodePink
    01/08/09

    @sweetbeans: HA.
     Reply
    CodePink was starred CodePink was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    01/08/09

    In reply to Axe Proven To Help Dumb Men Attract Mates
    Thank God the best hunks still douse themselves liberally in Kouros.
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of ADismalScience ADismalScience
    01/08/09

    In reply to Axe Proven To Help Dumb Men Attract Mates
    The real analysis: confidence is all that matters, gents. You could be covered in sawdust and smell like a hard day's work for all they care - what they see are the body language and the charisma of a potential mate.
     Reply
    ADismalScience was starred ADismalScience was unstarred
    Image of bringmemyTofu bringmemyTofu
    01/08/09

    @ADismalScience: I would like to attend one of your seminars, Dis.
     Reply
    bringmemyTofu was starred bringmemyTofu was unstarred
    Image of ADismalScience ADismalScience
    01/08/09

    @bringmemyTofu:


    It actually doesn't matter whose advice you take or what products you wear. What matters is that you feel comfortable and relaxed enough to calmly introduce yourself. Clothes, scents, seminars - they're all just ways of getting over the confidence hump. Then, once you believe, you will achieve.


    The more complex question once you receive this power is: what do I do with it? You have a responsibility, sexy man/woman. You must use your powers wisely and justly to ensure that you take care of the emotions of those that enter your orbit. Charisma begets an obligation to use that charisma to be good. The first life test is being confident enough to meet potential mates; the second life test is being confident (and compassionate) enough to be honest with those that you attract.

     Reply
    ADismalScience was starred ADismalScience was unstarred
    Image of BullfightsOnAcid BullfightsOnAcid
    01/08/09

    @ADismalScience: Is this going to be on the Final?
     Reply
    BullfightsOnAcid was starred BullfightsOnAcid was unstarred
    Image of Hydroceph Hydroceph
    01/08/09

    @ADismalScience: but using your powers for evil is way more fun.
     Reply
    Hydroceph was starred Hydroceph was unstarred
    Image of Botswana Meat Commission FC Botswana Meat Commission FC
    01/08/09

    @ADismalScience:

    Do you have a pamphlet I could take with me?
     Reply
    Botswana Meat Commission FC was starred Botswana Meat Commission FC was unstarred
    Image of Dr. Nick Dr. Nick
    01/08/09

    @ADismalScience: don't forget the Ron Jeremy corollary: you can be ugly as hell, but as long as you're well-endowed, you'll get more ass than a toilet seat.
     Reply
    Dr. Nick was starred Dr. Nick was unstarred
    Image of Smitros Smitros
    01/08/09

    @Dr. Nick:


    A charmer that Hedgehog is.

     Reply
    Smitros was starred Smitros was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    01/08/09

    In reply to Axe Proven To Help Dumb Men Attract Mates
    My AXE smells like month old pee. It does seem to have an effect on the ladies though.
     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of Hydroceph Hydroceph
    01/08/09

    @Uncle_Billy_Slumming: My husband--for those who haven't figured it out, i'm one of the gays--tried to get me to wear Axe with the inducement that one of the flavors uses oil of bergamot. Yes, oil of bergamot is one of my favorite scents, but for massages. I'm not sure how it's possible to be so misunderstood after nearly 18 years.
     Reply
    Hydroceph was starred Hydroceph was unstarred
    Image of bringmemyTofu bringmemyTofu
    01/08/09

    @Hydroceph: Wait...you're gay AND married?!??! No, no, no...none of this adds up.
     Reply
    bringmemyTofu was starred bringmemyTofu was unstarred
    Image of Banjo-Sea Kitten Banjo-Sea Kitten
    01/08/09

    @Uncle_Billy_Slumming: @ADismalScience: I think month old pee (marking of the territory), sawdust and sweat from a hard day's work might qualify as pheromonal. I'd be willing to see for myself in some double blind tests, let's just say.
     Reply
    Banjo-Sea Kitten was starred Banjo-Sea Kitten was unstarred
    Image of katastic katastic
    01/08/09

    @Hydroceph: You're a man?!!!
     Reply
    katastic was starred katastic was unstarred
    Image of Hydroceph Hydroceph
    01/08/09

    @bringmemyTofu: technically, we're not anymore. Thanks, Prop h8!
     Reply
    Hydroceph was starred Hydroceph was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    01/08/09

    @katastic: Hehe, all kinds of learning going on here today.
     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of Hydroceph Hydroceph
    01/08/09

    @katastic: Why, thank you, darlin'!
     Reply
    Hydroceph was starred Hydroceph was unstarred
    Image of La Cieca La Cieca
    01/08/09

    @Hydroceph: "I keep telling you I'm interested in the Earl of Bergamot! Earl!"
     Reply
    La Cieca was starred La Cieca was unstarred
    Image of katastic katastic
    01/08/09

    @Hydroceph: It really is a compliment.
     Reply
    katastic was starred katastic was unstarred
    Image of ADismalScience ADismalScience
    01/08/09

    @Banjo Kitten:


    I used to work as a stagehand in college because it gave me the opportunity to work with lots of wood - one of the odd rent-paying jobs I took. Every time I left that shop to go to a bar in my wood-scented, dust-covered garments I met someone interesting. The adrenaline high of using a portable bandsaw on pipes and whatever joyful chemical men give off after a bit of work always seemed to do the trick.

     Reply
    ADismalScience was starred ADismalScience was unstarred
    Image of Hydroceph Hydroceph
    01/08/09

    @katastic: I know, i just thought it was funny. There's no way i can use a smiley here without looking like a total tool, though, is there? i mean, you people'd land on me with both feet.
     Reply
    Hydroceph was starred Hydroceph was unstarred
    Image of Banjo-Sea Kitten Banjo-Sea Kitten
    01/08/09

    @ADismalScience: oh yes, indeed. I'd much rather my man smell like a man! and not Febreeze or a Glade-Plug in.
     Reply
    Banjo-Sea Kitten was starred Banjo-Sea Kitten was unstarred
    Image of Hydroceph Hydroceph
    01/08/09

    @Uncle_Billy_Slumming: i thought it would've been obvious. I mean, i've done everything but plow the Monsignor on Gawker, right?
     Reply
    Hydroceph was starred Hydroceph was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    01/08/09

    @Hydroceph: Speed the plow! :)
     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of Hydroceph Hydroceph
    01/08/09

    @Uncle_Billy_Slumming: I keep expecting the Monsignor to weigh in on this, and then kick my ass for saying things like that.
     Reply
    Hydroceph was starred Hydroceph was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    01/08/09

    @Hydroceph: Notice that the Monsignor did not weigh in on the facial hair thread.
     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of Hydroceph Hydroceph
    01/08/09

    @Uncle_Billy_Slumming: Hmmm, that's suspicious. [gasp!] You don't suppose he shaved it, do you?
     Reply
    Hydroceph was starred Hydroceph was unstarred
    Image of Banjo-Sea Kitten Banjo-Sea Kitten
    01/08/09

    In reply to Axe Proven To Help Dumb Men Attract Mates
    That epic butt was photoshopped poorly. It's lopsided.
     Reply
    Banjo-Sea Kitten was starred Banjo-Sea Kitten was unstarred
    Image of City_Dater City_Dater
    01/08/09

    @Banjo Kitten:


    But look how SHINY her legs are! Like Hooters-Waitress-in-Drugstore-Panty-Hose shiny. Which is appropriate, since the only women who enjoy Axe-wearing men are being paid to do so.

     Reply
    City_Dater was starred City_Dater was unstarred
    Image of Banjo-Sea Kitten Banjo-Sea Kitten
    01/08/09

    @City_Dater: love the hotpants/pantyhose combo that is the Hooters dress code. To me, that's AMERICA. Prurient Purity.
     Reply
    Banjo-Sea Kitten was starred Banjo-Sea Kitten was unstarred
    Image of katastic katastic
    01/08/09

    In reply to Axe Proven To Help Dumb Men Attract Mates
    Axe makes squirrels die.
     Reply
    katastic was starred katastic was unstarred
    Image of Hydroceph Hydroceph
    01/08/09

    @katastic: The poor little things are like canaries that way. First it takes out the rodents and other small mammals, then it comes for the talking monkeys.
     Reply
    Hydroceph was starred Hydroceph was unstarred
    Image of Smitros Smitros
    01/08/09

    In reply to Axe Proven To Help Dumb Men Attract Mates
    Bring back Hai Karate and Canoe and we'll talk.
     Reply
    Smitros was starred Smitros was unstarred
    Image of Hydroceph Hydroceph
    01/08/09

    @Smitros: My roommate freshman year at college wore Hai Karate, along with Drakkar Noir. I still get escape the scent-memory.
     Reply
    Hydroceph was starred Hydroceph was unstarred
    Image of Smitros Smitros
    01/08/09

    @Hydroceph:


    That was more of a joke than a plea for a relaunch.


    Fear not. And accept my sympathies.

     Reply
    Smitros was starred Smitros was unstarred
    Image of misslinda misslinda
    01/08/09

    @Hydroceph: Ugh! I dated a man who wore Drakkar Noir, it was awful! I bought him Creed Imperiale, but he didn't like it, it wasn't strong enough.
     Reply
    misslinda was starred misslinda was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    01/08/09

    @Smitros: Jade East.
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of Smitros Smitros
    01/08/09

    @BookishLookish:


    Is that for men or women? Sounds like a "gentlemen's" club.

     Reply
    Smitros was starred Smitros was unstarred
    Image of Hydroceph Hydroceph
    01/08/09

    @misslinda: yeah, it's pretty toxic. Two things made it tolerable: 1) he got a girlfriend (apparently with no functioning olfactory bulb in her brain) the first week of school and spent the rest of the year banging her in her room and 2) he left his boom box and New Order CDs in the room. And before anyone hurts him/herself trying to figure it out, it was 1988.
     Reply
    Hydroceph was starred Hydroceph was unstarred
    Image of Botswana Meat Commission FC Botswana Meat Commission FC
    01/08/09

    @Hydroceph:


    Drakkar Noir. FTW.

     Reply
    Botswana Meat Commission FC was starred Botswana Meat Commission FC was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    01/08/09

    @Smitros: It was a men's cologne popular with the "sophisticated set" in the 70s. Bottle was the best part of it, though.
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of Smitros Smitros
    01/08/09

    @BookishLookish:


    Thanks. In the 70s I was still a doofus in the 60506.

     Reply
    Smitros was starred Smitros was unstarred
    Image of friendslikeJimRome friendslikeJimRome
    01/08/09

    @Smitros: Let's not forget Old English and Old Spice. Old Spice always got the greaser chicks hot. You saved Old English for the more sophisticated Art Club girls.
     Reply
    friendslikeJimRome was starred friendslikeJimRome was unstarred
    Image of Smitros Smitros
    01/08/09

    @friendslikeJimRome:


    And I guess Aqua Velva got the old-school Bond girls.

     Reply
    Smitros was starred Smitros was unstarred
    Earlier discussions Other discussions Show all discussions Show featured discussions only Start a new discussion

Login

Enter your username and password.

Please enter a username.
Please enter your password.
logging in
Login via Facebook | Sign Up | Forgot Password?

Reset Password

Please enter your email address to have your password reset.

Please enter your email address.
Please enter a valid email address.
requesting password reset

Register

Registering will give you a user profile and the ability to add other users as friends. To become a commenter, however, you need to audition.

Want to know more? Consult the Comment FAQ and legal terms.

Please enter a username.
Please enter a password.
Please confirm your password.
Passwords are not identical.
Please enter a valid email address.
registration sent, waiting for reply

Submit Your Comment

You don't need to login to comment. Just enter your email address below.

See how your address will be displayed in the Comment FAQ.

Please enter a valid email address.
Please enter a valid email address.
logging in

Login with your Facebook or Gawker account.

Sign up here.



  • Archives
  • About
  • Advertising
  • Legal
  • Help
  • Report a Bug
  • FAQ
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.