This Week In Tabloids: Michael's Drug & eBay Addiction; Twilight Star Put In Box

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, where instead of Duck Duck Goose, it's Michael, Michael, Michael, Michael, Twilight. Margaret assists in the deconstruction of Star, Us, In Touch, Life & Style and Ok!, after the jump. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Dead Bodies, Beach Bodies, Weddings & Monkeys

It's Wednesday, so this is Midweek Madness, our tabloid roundup. Star was the only rag without Michael Jackson on the covers this week, maybe hoping people prefer "Beach Bodies" to untimely death? Step inside for more weeklies, after the jump. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Britney's Getting Married; Kate's Smacking The Kids

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we learn that Britney's engaged; Kate's a distracted mom and The Hills makes you bulimic. [Jezebel]

In Touch Don't Know Brentwood

High-end celebrity weekly In Touch ran a feature this week showing where various celebs live in the tony Brentwood section of LA. They even have a handy map. Only problem? The map is of a different Brentwood, up in Oakland. More »

This Week In Tabloids: Kate Wore A Bikini & Twilight Stars Are In Love

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, where, according to the tabloid covers, only two things are newsworthy: Kate Gosselin's "revenge" bikini body; and whether the stars of Twilight are hooking up. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Brad & Angie "Fight" In Public; Jon & Kate Kids Suffer

It's Wednesday, and this is Midweek Madness, in which we snack on cheesy gossip from In Touch, Life & Style, Us, Ok! and Star. Margaret assists in separating the fresh from the stale, especially since Brad and Angelina are either on the rocks or happily expecting their 7th child, depending. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Sapphic Encounters And Haircut Advice, At Prices That Can't Be Beat

Every Wednesday, we rummage through the gossip clearance aisle in Midweek Madness to determine whether OK!, Us, Life & Style, In Touch or Star, has valuable dirt you want at a price you can afford. [Jezebel]

Us Weekly Stands Up for Journalistic Integrity

In your dire Thursday media column: Us Weekly starts a war, America refuses to watch gay broadcasters, "I.D." is the unluckiest magazine name, and North Korea will try the US reporters it snatched: More »

This Week In Tabloids: Bulging Beach Bodies & Hasselhoff Death Watch

If it's Wednesday, we must be playing Midweek Madness. Why else would assistant Margaret and I let the tabloids — Ok!, Us, In Touch, Life & Style and Star — kick us in the shins? [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Angelina Cheated On Brad With Blonde Female Rocker

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which assistant Margaret and I attempt to ingest the nutty stuff produced by the weekly tabloids. Details from Us, In Touch, Ok!, Life & Style and Star, inside. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Babies, Bisexuals & Tim Gunn With His Pants Down

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which assistant Margaret and I search for real "news" in the weekly tabloids. Step inside for free-swingin', AC/DC stories from Us, In Touch, Life & Style, Ok! and Star. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Angelina's Pregnant, Lindsay Refuses Rehab

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we search for worthwhile "news" in In Touch, Star, Life & Style, Ok! and Us. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Shiloh & Suri Forced To Be Friends; Katie Forced To Diet

It's Wednesday, so it's time for Midweek Madness. Did Brad make a move on the nanny? Is Katie starving herself for Scientology? Have Suri and Shiloh ever met? The tabloids ask and answer. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Veiled Vows For Chris And Rihanna

Welcome to Midweek Madness, in which we attempt to piece together actual news from the celebrity tabloids. This week, most covers featured Rihanna and Chris Brown's reported reunion, with Star claiming that they got married. [Jezebel]

Snowstorm Panic At Bauer Publishing

We hear Bauer Publishing just summoned its entire staff to the office in a frantic effort to get ahead of the coming New York snowstorm. Bad weather + Media depression = panic! More »

This Week In Tabloids: Rihanna Loves Chris, Mischa's "Skin & Bones"

Welcome to Midweek Madness, in which we "read" celebrity tabloids so you don't "have" to. This week, in addition to Rihanna news, the mags report Jessica Simpson's every meal while calling Mischa and Lindsay scary-skinny. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: "Octomom" Vs. Angelina; Jennifer Aniston's Tapes

Every Wednesday, we play Midweek Madness, in which we dare to try and "read" the celebrity tabloids. This week, Us was the only mag that used Rhianna as the main cover image. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Jessica's Not Fat, Demi's Not Aging, Angie's Not Preg

Welcome back to Midweek Madness! This is an interesting day, because every single weekly magazine failed our intricate, patented grading system, which requires the mags present new and entertaining "news." [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Katie Gets A Fetus, Jessica Gets Cheated On

It's Wednesday, so this must be Midweek Madness, your weekly tabloid roundup. The mags are all over the place this week: Katie Holmes' embryo; Travolta's tragedy; secrets of a White House mom. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Lots Of Baby Drama & Weight Loss Tips From Obama

Welcome to the final Midweek Madness of the year, in which the tabloids inform us that we're all overweight Americans. [Jezebel]

This Week in Tabloids: Which Celebs Are Unwrapping the Gift of Herpes?

This Christmas Eve, we bring you tidings of Midweek Madness. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Jilted Wives, Jingle Bells & The Return of J.Lo

It's Midweek Madness time, and this week, most of the covers focus on Brad and Angie: Their made up summer wedding, holiday plans with the kids, and feud with Jennifer Aniston. [Jezebel]

This Week In Taboids: Angelina Gets Twins (Again), Michael Jackson Is Dying

Welcome back to Midweek Madness. There's no OK! this week because last week's lame-ass Britney issue was a "double." In related news, the glossy is slashing its newsstand price by 50¢, hoping you'll fall for bargain-basement gossip. But you know what they say: You get what you pay for. In any case, this week the news was mostly about Angelina's baby addiction. She's either got one, two, or three on the way, depending on which magazine you read, because she might be knocked up with a baby, or twins, and she might be getting a little African girl for Christmas. Find out more about her uterus, plus the rare disease Michael Jackson is dying from, as Intern Margaret assists in the filleting of Us, Life & Style, In Touch and Star, after the jump. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Britney's Deadly Diet, Heidi's Hoax, Mary-Kate Knocked Up?

This is Wednesday, therefore this is Midweek Madness. Britney's comeback, crisis and "deadly diet" dominated the covers this week, with three out of five magazines using her as the main image. Us still maintains that Heidi and Spencer are wed, despite the fact that most of the other weeklies call the elopement a "hoax." (Us: Best Headline Ever.) Find out "Who's Really Pregnant" and "How They Got Thin Fast," with the assistance of Intern Margaret, as we judge the worth of In Touch, Life & Style, Us, OK! and Star, after the jump. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Jolie's Joyous, Heidi's Hitched, Britney's Bulimic

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, appearing a day early due to the shortened holiday week. Us landed an "exclusive" cover story about Heidi and Spencer's "spur-of-the-moment" wedding, but the In Touch cover story (in which a source says Angelina Jolie told a London waiter not to pour her a drink because she's pregnant) is also intriguing — if true. Of the other covers this week, two are dullsville: Reese Witherspoon's on OK! and there's non-news "Baby News" in Life & Style. But Star's "Bodyguards Tell All" story includes snippets about a certain pop star who believes in unicorns. Maria assists as we give thanks for gossip and feast on the rumors in In Touch, OK!, Life & Style, Us and Star, after the jump. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Brad's Trapped, Jen's Devastated, Obamas Are Just Like Us

If it's Wednesday, this must be Midweek Madness, in which we scour the celebrity tabloids in search of "news." It's still OBAMANIA in magland; of the five weeklies we cover, only one — In Touch — didn't have a story about the Obamas and include a picture of them on the cover. As for the other big stories this week, the tired old love triangle involving Jennifer Aniston, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie is still making news, and Angelina might still be knocked up with her seventh child. Intern Margaret assists as we try to comb through Star, Us, OK!, In Touch and Life & Style, after the jump. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Aniston Pops The Question, Madonna's "Affair" With A-Rod Was "Orchestrated"

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, our weekly roundup of the glossy tabloids. Although Madonna and Guy "win" two covers this week, thanks to a nasty divorce, Jennifer Aniston also lands two covers, for her lingerie-fueled marriage proposal to John Mayer, and for getting plastic surgery. The last of the five covers features Angelina, with the by-now-greatly-recycled quote about Mr. & Mrs. Smith being a movie her kids can to watch to see their parents fall in love. Intern Margaret assists as we quench our thirst for celebrity "news" by drinking from the spigots of Star, Us, OK!, In Touch and Life & Style, after the jump. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Aniston & Mayer Have Sex; Anorexic Stars Without Makeup

If it's Wednesday afternoon, this must be Midweek Madness, your weekly tabloid roundup source. Crappy covers this week, folks: Skinny stars, stars without makeup, Trista announcing her pregnancy, Jenny McCarthy talking about autism, and those kids from High School Musical. But we took the time to mine the mags for nuggets of gold. Intern Margaret assists as we dip our pan in the latest issues of Us, OK!, Life & Style, In Touch and Star, after the jump. [Jezebel]

New Editor At Life & Style?

We're told Bauer Publishing chief Hubert Boehle has grown tired of the never-ending stream of outside editors atop his celebrity fashion title Life & Style. He finds them hapless. The solution: Boehle will bring in Dan Wakeford, executive editor of another Bauer celebrity mag, In Touch, as top editor. "He wasn't given any choice in the matter," our tipster said. With both the fashion industry and celebrity magazines socked by the economy, he's got his work cut out for him.

This Week In Tabloids: Mariah's Pregnancy, Aniston's Lipo, Angie's Shrink

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, where we're always willing to punish ourselves by reading celebrity weeklies so you don't have to! This week, the tabloids are all over the place: Us shuns a "gossip" cover in favor of a "Style Issue," but the other mags try and make up for it with pseudo-scandalous stories. Mariah and her maybe-baby land one cover; Jen Aniston's adventures in cosmetic procedures get another; Lindsay Lohan's "untold story" gets the third and Angelina Jolie's mental health wins the last. Intern Margaret assists as we dabble in masochism by reading and reporting on the contents of OK!, Life & Style, In Touch and Star, after the jump. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Miley's Man Models, Lindsay Cuts Herself, 90210 Stars Don't Eat

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, your source for tabloid "news." Finally, after a super slow summer, things are picking up! The scandal gaining strength? The reed-thin appearance of the ladies of 90210 2.0. Plus! Miley's "new man" is a former underwear model, and the mags bring the pictures to prove it. Oh, and Lindsay Lohan may or may not be cutting herself, though this was buried under a lame "Richest & Poorest Stars" story in In Touch. Intern Margaret assists as we pick through the yard sale of info in OK!, In Touch, Star, Life & Style and Us, after the jump. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Lindsay Has Baby Plans, Katie Sees Josh, Jen & Brad Do Not Have Dinner

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, your source for tabloid "news". Something amazing has happened this week: Each of the five weekly magazines have someone completely different as their main image! Oh, there's still no real gossip — Brad and Jen did not have dinner in Toronto; Britney's "comeback" and Anna Nicole's baby turning 2 are not exactly earth-shattering — but at least it's not as repetitive as usual. And there are gems hidden inside the magazines, like pictures from Blake Lively's birthday party and the demonic snapshot of the woman John Mayer's humping. Intern Margaret assists as we attempt to rouse ourselves from a haze of ennui and "read" OK!, In Touch, Star, Life & Style and Us, after the jump. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Sarah Palin Joins Angelina & Jamie-Lynn As Cover Moms With Probs

Welcome back to Midweek Madness. Will you look at who joins Angelina Jolie on the weekly tabloid overs this week? Governor Sarah Palin. Senator Barack Obama has already been on the cover of Us, but now he can add the OK! cover to his résumé. This issue is double sided: Democratic on the front and Republican on the back — but the information is pretty rehashed. As is the story in Us. As Rick Klein writes over on an ABC News blog: "There is no new reporting here… just a greatest hits from what's out there." That doesn't stop us from "reading" the mags: Intern Margaret assists as we attempt to filter the missives from Life & Style, Star, OK!, Us and In Touch, after the jump. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Suri Battles Shiloh, Jamie Lynn Gets Cheated On, Britney's OK!

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we digest the celebrity gossip in the weeklies so you don't have to. This week, the tabloids have the dreaded BABY FEVER. There are celebribabes on three covers, including the spawn of Britney. Jennifer Love Hewitt and her body get one cover, and Jamie Lynn Spears gets the other, with In Touch breaking the news that her 19-year-old baby daddy has a 28-year-old lover named Kelli. Intern Margaret assists as we strain to excrete what we've consumed in OK!, Life & Style, In Touch and Star, after the jump. [Jezebel]

This Week in Tabloids: Aniston Wants A Baby, Applegate Is Ailing, & Cyrus Is A Not-So-Secret Sexpot

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, our continuing mission to seek out new gossip in the weekly tabloids so you don't have to. This week, we officially hit the August news slump, as most weeklies stop even attempting to deliver fresh news. Jennifer Aniston is on two covers, with marriage and baby plans that her representatives have already re-denied. Life & Style reports that Miley Cyrus, who is famous for playing a girl with a secret double life, may have a "Secret Double Life" herself. Us wins for most depressing cover with Christina Applegate's "Cancer at 36." And In Touch surrenders to the summer doldrums with the "69 Sexiest Bodies on the Beach," which is always an omen that dark things lie within. Join us after the jump as we explore the sick sad world of Us, OK!, Life & Style, In Touch, and Star. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Beach Panic! Lose Your Mind Reading About How Stars Lose Weight

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we suffer through the mind-numbing non-news in the celebrity tabloids so you don't have to. This very well may be the worst week ever for the weeklies. Three of five covers deal with bodies and weight loss. The other two? Jamie Lynn's wedding plans and Katie Holmes/Tom Cruise "news." Intern Margaret assists as we suffer punishing abuse by reading OK!, Life & Style, In Touch and Star, after the jump. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Lindsay's Gay, Reese & Jake On Vacay, Honor's OK!

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we read mind-numbing celebrity tabloids so you don't have to. Celebrity news is slow this week, which is why Lindsay Lohan's Lezebel Leanings are cover-worthy. Jessica Alba's new baby Honor Marie gets her own cover; Angelina's twins win two covers and the last is for Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal. Intern Margaret assists as we rummage through the leftovers in search of delicious gossip in the iceboxes of OK!, Life & Style, In Touch and Star, after the jump. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Madonna & Guy Split; Not-Pregnant Stars Without Makeup Have Hot Lesbian Sex

Welcome back to Midweek Madness! The covers sucked this week: Madonna and Guy graced one; supposed baby-luster Jen Aniston got another; stars without makeup landed another; probably-not-knocked-up chicks won the fourth and the Hogan family, yes, the Hogan family got their own. Luckily, the juicy details inside the mags mostly made up for the lame cover stories. Intern Margaret assists as we gobble up the tidbits of "news" in Us, OK!, Life & Style, In Touch and Star, after the jump. [Jezebel]

This Week In Tabloids: Jamie Lynn's Delivery Drama, Party Girl Moms, Jake Moves In With Reese

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we search desperately for refreshing gossip in the weekly tabloids. The covers are all over the place this week: Jamie Lynn's delivery details; Tori Spelling's miracle baby; celeb moms who are party girls and the Reese and Jake sitch. There's also the "Best & Worst Beach Bodies" cover, our least favorite kind. After the jump, Intern Margaret assists as we seek thirst-quenching "news" in Us, OK!, Life & Style, In Touch and Star, after the jump. [Jezebel]