Through a combination of strange luck and postal incompetence, the University of Chicago's admissions office received a mysterious package addressed to a "Henry Walton Jones, Jr" late last week. At first, they assumed it was sent to the wrong department, and it was placed in separate pile. Some time later, a…
Stephanie Pratt's wallet could use a little help. Elton John's too old for kids. And Colin Farrell knocked up his girl. That and much, much more in your Tuesday morning gossip roundup!
Lucas's Folly XVIII: Something About Glass Skulls's long journey from fanboy dream-project to yet another chapter in The Big Book of Cinematic Disillusionment has been capped with an Oscar snub.
After traumatizing the Today audience yesterday with her delightful tale of family syphilis, former Brady Bunch star Maureen McCormick took her unsettling book tour to The Morning Show with Mike & Juliet, where she opened up about cocaine ("They would call me 'The Hoover' because of how much cocaine I would do") and…
Extra Cheese: While this promotion isn't earning any points with the Abramovitches, VanAirsdales and Buchanans of America, all of you anonymous, overeducated Joneses out there may have an interest in LucasFilm's memo currently making the rounds: "Greetings, On behalf of our promotional partner Papa John's, I wanted to…
Rape Sells! South Park beat George Lucas at his own pervy game Wednesday with its already-infamous "Indy rape" episode — the show's highest-rated fall premiere in nine years. Paradoxically, this must mean Indiana Jones 5 will be green-lit within the hour — probably at the end of that crisis meeting rumored to be…
This week's episode of cartoon iconoclast South Park, in which Indiana Jones was raped repeatedly by George Lucas and Steven Spielberg (see clip), is causing quite a commotion! The showrunners were, you know, just trying to voice their dissatisfaction with this summer's kinda crappy Indiana Jones fourquel, Kingdom of…
We knew George Lucas had a taste for franchise-rape, but our relatively proscribed imaginations prevented us from conjuring the horror of Lucas and accomplice Steven Spielberg forcibly tag-teaming Indiana Jones not once, not twice, but three times in 30 minutes. But that's what South Park is for, we guess, where the…
It would be too easy to say that Harrison Ford hit the Crystal Head Vodka a little hard before today's interview at the LA Times; how else to explain his eagerness to jump aboard Indiana Jones 5 so soon after the franchise's fourth installment? He's 66! George Lucas can't settle on a script! And Shia still has months…
Though George Lucas has dashed the hopes of a scant few Indiana Jones fanboys already camping out in line for Mutt Williams and the Search For Elvis, series add-on Shia LaBeouf is man enough to take the bad news on the chin (if not on the reconstructed pinkie). In fact, while promoting his new film Eagle Eye to MTV…
First Shia LaBeouf broke his hand, now George Lucas breaks his heart: Speaking exclusively to MTV News, Lucas elaborated on the promised Indiana Jones 5, assuring disgruntled Indy fans that the sequel wouldn't center on LaBeouf's character, Mutt. “Indiana Jones is Indiana Jones. Harrison Ford IS Indiana Jones. If it…
Freeze, Motherfucker: Sometimes Defamer just has to take a stand, as we hope our recent efforts on behalf of Victims of George Lucas reflects. And such crusades are always made easier by the knowledge we're not alone. For instance, take the kindred spirit who enacted the fantasy of beleaguered Star Wars and Indiana…
Look, just because we want to see the guy locked up for crimes against our (and most others') childhoods doesn't mean we despise George Lucas. We're getting there, of course, but there's no denying that beneath that wavy tuft of white hair and sprawling wattle is a thoughtful, brilliant, self-made billionaire whose…
As a world on edge waits to hear whether Mutt Williams will ever wield a whip again (we're hearing some encouraging news that his pinkie is out of critical care!), we bring you all the latest in the Shia LaBeouf could-have-been-much-worse DUI nightmare: · Sgt. Tressa Gunnels is amazed the injuries weren't more severe.…
Unfortunately for me, I don't roll around in the comment threads of other sites, so I am just now learning that Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull haters have decided that "Nuke the Fridge" is the new "Jump the Shark." Because, you know, they couldn't handle the campy opening scene in which Indy…
Until today, we'd tried our best to give Mutt Williams, aka Shia LaBeouf, the benefit of the doubt. Yes, he's kind of annoying and bordering on overexposure, but we thought there were at least two good reasons why he acts the way he acts. Not only did he used to be a hot-dog selling carnie, but his vagabond dad was…
YouTube was a breeze. Though they insist you should "not upload any TV shows, music videos, music concerts, or commercials without permission unless they consist entirely of content you created yourself," they also explain the "fair use" exception to this rule, in detail. They do, however, leave budding filmmakers…
Browsing the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly, we came across Steve Daly's survey of the modern spoiler, never more epidemic in the Internet age than on exterior shoots. And while some studios conceal their films' secrets by burning the entire set and even the movies themselves to smoldering rubble, we tip our…
The Brazilian wax you scheduled to coincide with your Sex and the City opening night party may have now given way to the discomforting condition known as a Bolivian rash—but luckily for you there exists no better topical salve than the weekend's boffo numbers:
