Google has given all of its employees $1,000 cash "holiday bonuses" and 2011 salary increases of at least 10%, a loyal reader tells us.

Buffoonish human malaprop generator Lee Abrams resigned from his laughably lofty post at Tribune Co. last week in the wake of a poorly-timed email scandal. Now, Lee Abrams is coming to his own defense—via email!

Is Tribune Co. "Chief Bong Hitting Innovations Officer" Lee Abrams the stupidest man in America not currently starring in an MTV reality show? That's what she said, haha. Oh, we mean: Yes.

What would you do if you were in charge of the Los Angeles Times and the Chicago Tribune? Would you offer a waitress $100 to show her breasts? That's what Tribune Company CEO Randy Michaels did. And it's not all.

One heroic, honest—too honest Barron's staffer announced that he had bedbugs in his apartment building. Now the entire Wall Street Journal headquarters are on edge. Fearmongering company email, below.

After a long period of speculation, incompetent NBC Universal CEO Jeff Zucker finally announced today that he'll be leaving once Comcast's takeover of NBC is complete. He won't be missed. He'll be running for office soon. Mawkish goodbye memo, below.

This morning, Scott Jones, the TV blogger who broke the news of Jay Leno's return to the Tonight Show, reported that CNN president Jon Klein will "be fired" today. Well—he just forwarded us Klein's farewell memo. It's below. [UPDATED]

David Westin is resigning from his position as president of ABC News, which he's held since 1997, apparently because of a "long-running conflict... over the financial standing of the news division." Of course! Want to read his resignation note?

Fresh from a farewell dinner for departing New York Times public editor Clark Hoyt, the paper's standards editor, Phil Corbett, issued a memo to the newsroom yesterday on that perpetually controversial issue: use of anonymous sources. Full memo below.

The story: A Paramount exec sent an email to a coworker, it was intercepted by Sharon Waxman's Nikke Finke voodoo doll The Wrap, and now everyone has it. Basically it lays out their upcoming slate of movies, and it's bleak.

A CNN employee has just forwarded us an alarming email that she and her colleagues received informing them that bedbugs have infested the Time Warner Center. Will they bring down America's largest media company, from the inside? Yes. Memo below!

According to an internal memo, JetBlue hates hero flight attendant Steven Slater for being awesome. But Steven Slater still wants to work for them. How does Slater not realize that this is never, ever going to happen?

Crikey! Ragin' media bandicoot Rupert Murdoch, owner of News Corp., would like his slaves/employees to know that, despite it being languid, lazy summer, he doesn't want anyone taking a relaxed attitude toward work. He's watching, don't you know? Memo below.