Shrek is love. Shrek is life.

In the industry of internet writing, certain truths become doctrine: Anger is effective, outrage more so, and dead girls and women—particularly those abused and victimized and murdered—rule the attention game. They are the internet’s profane saints and they have always fueled the media, selling newspapers and…

Earlier today, President Putin ordered the Federal Security Service to produce “encryption keys” capable of decrypting all data on the internet. No one is really sure what this means exactly, but the FSB has two weeks to make them, Meduza reports. That’s just one part of the Russian government’s silly and insanely…

In 2011, Lt. John Pike of the UC Davis Police doused student protesters in pepper spray about as casually as you would Febreeze your couch. The savagery was caught on camera, of course, and became an object of national outrage—so much so that the university spent a six-figure sum trying to scrub it from Google, the …

Bloggers, perennial warriors of the web, do not have many things to call “wins.” But today is a day for bloggers to rejoice, for they have won the word “internet.”

The faceless editors of Wikipedia were on a warpath, wiping out glistening kernels of internet knowledge with nothing but ghosts left in their wake. And this week, they were industrious as hell. But we’re not letting them off that easy.

For the second week in a row, we’re sifting through Wikipedia’s deleted detritus to bring you those few, nearly lost-forever encyclopedic gems. This week, that means forgotten porn stars, creepy tales of time travel, and perhaps the worst song about liquor you will ever hear.

Donald Trump uses the internet a lot, sure. But based on his answer from last night’s debate on how he would “shut down” parts of the internet to combat ISIS, he doesn’t actually know what the internet “is” or “anything about how it works.”

That the internet is a miserable place is rarely still disputed. The New York Times ran an article about it in 2012—which suggests most of the rest of us had been aware of it since 2006. Depression itself has been a favorite topic of the internet for at least as long: crudely drawn comics with facile punchlines have…

Shockingly, 4chan—the cherished home of aspiring internet vigilantes and/or racist piles of garbage everywhere—isn’t quite as cunning as it might have you believe. When a whistleblower published a highly sensitive (and highly legitimate) report from an Australian spy agency to its profanity-laden forums, 4chan users…

It’s looking more and more like Ellen Pao was, in some sense, set up to fail by her male board of directors. Her predecessor Yishan Wong says it. A top Reddit engineer said it right after quitting. It might sound conspiratorial if it weren’t about this particular site.http://gawker.com/top-reddit-eng…

The Minions movie spent a whopping $593 million on an unprecedented, practically inescapable, wildly successful marketing campaign, translating into huge profits for Universal. And, of course, for extremist militant group ISIS.

Remember planking? Remember how tired and unfunny it got in such a short amount of time? Thanks to Vice co-founder and anthropomorphized subreddit Gavin McInnes, the terrible internet trend of our past is back. And this time, it’s here to speak out against the atrocious shaming and reverse racism currently oppressing…

Everybody may poop, but there’s one, extra special corner of Amazon where everybody doesn’t just poop—they poop like goddamn clockwork. And they’re more than happy to share their shadooby-stained tales of nature’s call. A call they owe entirely to the laxative tea that they bought for their—uh, wives. Sure, yes. Their…

In 1996, C.J. Phillips met Charlie Rainwater and fell in love, as young self-identified “doggy dudes” do. Now, they’d like to have a polite, civil conversation—about their right to love each other, and anything else that’s vexing you. Which is why they parked a lovely website on the domain jebbushforpresident.com.

YouTube, in addition to being a renowned cesspool of virulently racist and misspelled comments, hosts videos. Many of these videos seek to shed light on the many secrets that the sheeple of the world would keep locked behind closed doors. And almost every single one of them is absolutely, phenomenally, mind-numbingly…

Ross Ulbricht, the young “California geek” who became the internet’s most notorious drug lord and began a still-raging debate over online privacy and liberty, will spend the rest of his life in prison.

How far are you willing to go in the race for internet popularity? Would you buy a €1 lottery ticket for a shot at 25,000 new followers?

College flautist Azeem Ward’s senior recital is tomorrow. The UCSB student invited about 600 people to the event on Facebook and woke up yesterday to find that an additional 3,400 had confirmed their attendance. Before the event page was taken down or made private, that number had jumped to 41,000. What the hell…