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bad press releases
kids today
Family Blogger Struggles With Privacy Concerns, Posts Family Photos to Internet
Yes it's fine to post a photo of your adorable child on Flickr, why not? The dangers are: a) perverts will get off on these photos, b) predators will, who knows, decide to kidnap your adorable child because she is soooo cute on the internet, or c) your child will be targeted for online abuse by bloggers somewhere, for some reason. The first two are bullshit. Perverts will masturbate to everything, who cares. You are more likely to abuse your child than a stranger. And finally, as we've tried to explain, all this online abuse of innocent kids is actually directed at their over-sharing parents. So rest easy, Wall Street Journal mommyblogger! Or, like, make the pictures friends-only, as your friends have suggested. Either one. Christ. [WSJ]
Shut Up, Internet!
Another Lame Internet Meme
Unfortunately for me, I don't roll around in the comment threads of other sites, so I am just now learning that Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull haters have decided that "Nuke the Fridge" is the new "Jump the Shark." Because, you know, they couldn't handle the campy opening scene in which Indy escapes a nuclear blast by hiding in a lead-lined refrigerator. I guess it does lack the gritty realism of faces being melted by one Biblical relic and a gut-shot being instantly healed by another or, say, using an inflatable raft as a parachute, or a thousand year-old knight or... Anywho... More »
not afraid to be servicey
How To Not Storm Off the Internet in a Huff
Yesterday, a grown man threw a tantrum and stormed off the internet. Because we bullied him. It wasn't pretty. Are we proud? Well, it's a living. We spent today mulling over some wise advice we received. And, of course, it's true. We should be constructive! In the spirit of friendship, we'll explain how to survive the Internet without letting the bastards get you down. Heed our words, and you'll never have to shut down another blog. Or quit a message board, or ban yourself from a comments section. Never again will you hear the sirens of the waaaahmbulance. More »
dimitri the lover
World's Worst Pickup Artist Has World's Greatest Website
Hey! Remember Dimitri, the guy who left the psychotic voicemails? Remember how much fun we had with that? Dimitri doesn't seem to be too upset that his incredibly creepy pickup strategy leaked onto the internet. He just relaunched his webstite! THE OFFICIAL WEB SITE OF DIMITRI THE LOVER, CANADA'S GREATEST LOVER AND SEDUCER is live! Just last night his site announced something major in the works. And here it is! He's working on a full-length documentary, apparently, as well as two reality shows. One is called "Doctor Dimitri, Malpractice Investigator," which actually sounds totally A+ would watch.
bastards of young
The Internet Says Drop Out of School!
The internet is full of scorn and advice for The Youngs, today. Everyone is so concerned! It's sweet. As we mentioned, Doree explores the topic of foolish Ivy League entitlement at some length in The Observer. Young-on-young violence! Meanwhile some of us are forced into oppressive internshps. An angry old man says quit bitching, basically. A sad young literary old man has advice (?) about how we Youngs are full of GUFF. Guff toward him! Of all people! This rubs some youngs the wrong way. But there is a solution! To everyone's problem! Everyone needs to drop out of school, as soon as possible. The best of the best have done it and lived to tell the tale. Including that angry old guy from before, who was, once again, ahead of the curve. He has moved on to unemployment, which is, we hear, similarly freeing. Who else is in? Update: Ha ha ha. Maybe we should all learn trades?
from the vaults
Will Leitch Did Not Win Ben Stein's Money
Years ago—before the age of blogs—a young Will Leitch appeared on Comedy Central's Win Ben Stein's Money. You may know Will as the blogger who brought Deadspin into the world, wrote some books, and who is now leaving the internet to be a columnist at New York. In 1997, though, he was a dude who just got dumped by his fiance and was now on television for some reason attempting a Woody Allen impression. Will wrote about the experience for the Black Table many moons ago, and now we see that the video is actually online. Amazing. More »
this thing looks like that thing
Prison Food Stunt Always Amusing
Lawyer Arin Greenwood ate some Nutraloaf for Slate. What is Nutraloaf? A delicious taste sensation served to prisoners who are being punished. It provides a whole day's nutrients in, uh, loaf form. Apparently there is a case before the Vermont Supreme Court over whether or not serving Nutraloaf counts as cruel and unusual. This is the peg for the Slate piece. (Though prisoners have been suing over the loaf for years, apparently.) So Greenwood makes a batch and eats it. And it's really gross. But a bunch of lawyers decided it's not bad enough to sue over. BUT at the arts and culture writers at The Onion's A.V. Club did this same stunt last April! More »
take back the internet
'Times' Twitters as Rome Blogs
So the New York Times has a Twitter account. (Twitter is the internet thing that tells everyone in the world what you're doing so they can make fun of you properly.) And it's an embarrassment! More embarrassing is the Twitter account for "The Moment," their new... blog-thing that is tied to T Magazine, the content-free style supplement to the Times Magazine. This Twitter is weird and aggressively friendly! But... who is behind it? Whose far-too-casual first-person Tweet are we even following? (Probably "Jonathan S. Paul," who posted about Twittering about posting this Art Party.) Whoever it is got drunk at an Art Party last night and peed next to Sean Lennon. Right now T twitter is following all the other Times Twitter accounts that just link back to things at the Times. If they really wanted to get all Webby they'd start a Tumblr that bitched about Gawker. [Twitter via Radar]
media bloggers association
The Story of Robert Cox, World's Most Important Blogger
The email reprinted above is the founding document of the beloved Media Bloggers Association, that venerable organization that bloggers across the world recognize as the leading bullshit pretend front for one self-aggrandizing tool to get on TV all the time and pretend to represent citizen journalists. That they recognize now, anyway, because until the MBA inserted itself into the Associated Press blog dispute, no one had heard of the four-year-old organization. Though Robert Cox, the guy behind the MBA, was perhaps more well-known as the notorious right-wing crank and annoying tool behind Olbermann Watch, the blog that disagrees with everything MSNBC host Keith Olbermann says. Come read the email that started it all, and learn so much more about Robert Cox. More »
get rich quick
Is the "Media Bloggers Association" a Scam?
Recently, we met the Media Bloggers Association, supposedly a group that provides legal aid to bloggers and one that is currently negotiating with the Associated Press to establish guidlines for reposting tiny snippets of their copy. Our night editor asked who died and made them Internet Kings, and they responded with a bitchy email that said we didn't even email them or anything. Then a couple enterprising commenters did some more research (and not the "email them for comment" kind either—what is up with the internet?). And now we have reason to be suspicious of everything the MBA and their head troll Roger Cox have to say. They might just be a money-making scam! More »
microfame
Three Simple Ways to Ruin Your Life
Rex Sorgatz arrived in New York six scant months ago, but he's already got it all figured out. After an advanced anthropological study of Internet Microfame, he's published his initial findings in New York Magazine. In explaining the concept, he also instructs the reader on how to become microfamous in three easy steps! "To persevere in the new age of celebrity, you need to return to the well, repeating these steps of creating, oversharing, and responding." Soon you too can dog-sit for Julia Allison. We are all Tay Zonday, Emily Brill, and the Tron Guy now. [NYM]
Julia Allison, International Celebrity
Now updated with a video profile of the latter-day Carrie Bradshaw—in French. (Scroll down to end.)
Now updated with a video profile of the latter-day Carrie Bradshaw—in French. (Scroll down to end.)
bloggers in peril
International Blogger Arrests Skyrocketing
Good news for the Associated Press! "In 2007 three times as many people were arrested for blogging about political issues than in 2006," an annual report from the University of Washington reveals. The majority of arrests since 2003 have taken place in Iran, China, and Egypt, though the US of A gets a mention: "The report predicted that the number of blogger arrests in 2008 would exceed the 36 seen in 2007 thanks to greater popularity of blogging as a medium, greater enforcement of net restrictions, and elections in China, Pakistan, Iran and the US." Thats fine, fine company we're in, isn't it? Of course, the reported number could be deceptively low. More »
walnuts
John McCain's Balls: A Study of Campaign Website Comment Moderation
John McCain's campaign store is a treasure trove of hideous merchandise and, briefly, hilarious commentary. The comments on each item were clearly totally unmoderated, which is always a treat. Would you like to buy some John McCain-branded golf balls? How could you not after reading reading reviews like this: "The downside is that these golf balls almost feel like they've been painted over something that was once pasty white and older than one might think. If I press hard enough I think I can feel some scars, but then again it's never a good idea to press too hard on one's balls. Nevertheless, it might be why these balls tend to get stuck in quagmires or sand." There is so much more! At varying levels of maturity and humor! More »
fun with contextual advertising
John McCain Thinks You Pay Too Much For Your Mortgage (And You're a Terrorist)
This is a 100% real banner ad running on the website of the spiritual home of unreconstructed Old Leftists The Nation. It is an obvious, slimy, and desperate attempt to link Barack Obama to nutty Iranian leader Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. And it is paid for by John McCain 2008. First we thought this was the stupidest ad buy ever, as if any Nation reader would ever vote for McCain. Then we remembered that The Nation is read by lots of Jews. Then we clicked on "no" and WON A FREE IPOD!! [The Nation]
series of tubes
