The Washington Post's violent Style section uncovers the catragic case of Hoity, done in by the do-gooding of PETA interns repeatedly knocking on Netzer's door and telling her that keeping her cat outside was dangerous:

For six months, Netzer tried to keep Hoity inside, but he began clawing the furniture, "pooping all over things," and going, as far as Netzer could tell, completely insane. When she would put him out again, some or another intern would stop by again, implying, she says, that Hoity might be happier and safer in a shelter. Afraid that the PETA interns would take her cat, she eventually had him put to sleep.

A PETA spokesman says that the interns had seen the cat "have close calls" with cars in the neighborhood.

Purr-nicious!
[Pic via]

When Wakeman was a 22-year-old fresh out of NYU journalism school, she had a fling with a 37-year old magazine editor who had taken a particularly keen interest in her when he was her boss. (Wakeman, you'll recall, kind of has a thing for authority.) The earnest, feminist Huffington Post veteran details the whole relationship on TheFrisky.com: Mentoring, instant-messenger chats, near-simultaneous breakups, then movies, plays, dinner, walks on the Brooklyn Bridge, DVDs at his place, a momentous hookup. Wakeman was in love. The editor was not.

The guy was, Wakeman realized later "using me for what he wanted," as all her friends had warned. Kind of very predictable, that. But with a few modest behavioral changes, said former boss could have avoided being a complete ass about things. To wit:

• Don't continue sleeping with someone who is clearly really into you if that person is a shameful secret from your friends. At least not for that long. A month or two, tops. "He didn't introduce me to anyone as his girlfriend. Meanwhile, I absolutely considered him my lover, if not my boyfriend... He didn't introduce me to his friends; he didn't introduce me to his parents. That is what made me feel like a "Young Career Woman As Whore."
  
• Don't pretend the person is a stranger if she/he works at your company, and if you continue sleeping with that person. Wakeman ended up hired by the magazine's online division. The lover didn't pull any strings to get her the gig. He also didn't bother to acknowledge he knew her. "I'd sleep over at his apartment and we'd fool around and then we'd both be at the office as if we were two strangers... the fact that he didn't acknowledge me at work began to make me feel like crap."
  
• Cut it off if she/he says "I love you" (and you don't feel the same). This is one of the few things Mystery Editor did right: When Wakeman said she loved him, in a phone call, he immediately admitted he wasn't in love and said things should end. Which, with that sort of discrepancy of emotions, they totally should, and not in a drawn out way.
  
• But don't go off about the other woman you love more, right after your intern/lover says "I love you" (and you don't feel the same): "He wasn't in love with me, he said, and, in fact, he had gone on a few dates with a woman his own age and was falling in love with her." Ugh. Pointless stabbing someone in the gut, much?
  
• No follow-up lunch! What's the point? Especially when you've moved on. Wakeman met up with her ex after she noticed on Facebook that he'd gotten engaged to that other woman, one year down the line. "We met for lunch and he told me they were in love and they wanted to marry and have kids... I have not spoken to him since that lunch... I've washed my hands clean of him."

Wow, don't flings just sound so sexy after reading all that?

(Image via)

Sure, mama could probably get her some sweet gig in fashion but what is Bee Shaffer, just some rich mama's girl out to waste her life in a field that doesn't have real world impact? No. She wants to be in theater. And apparently Anna Wintour's name means nothing in the competitive field of theater, because, why would it, right? From Gatecrasher:

In fact, the 22-year-old former Teen Vogue contributing editor went on a staggering 24 interviews since graduating from Columbia in May - all of them unsuccessful.

Uh, think we've nailed down the problem here, "Bee" "Shaffer"-Wintour: if you worked at Teen Vogue, you have obviously seen Twilight.

But that's not your only problem. Your other, main problem is you don't name-drop enough. What's wrong with you, crazy girl? We have a Gawker internship with your name ("Anna Wintour's daughter") on it.
[Pic: Getty]

[Teen Vogue editor Amy] Astley recalled a recent job applicant who was clearly unqualified to work at her magazine.

"I interviewed someone who hadn't seen ‘Twilight,' " she said. "You can't work at Teen Vogue if you haven't seen ‘Twilight.'"

That cuts it down to 87 million people. Next, those of you not related to Conde Nast executives may also leave.

Fashion!

A lady went to a swingers club, as a freelance journalistblogger, and had a threesome with two other ladies. So there!


Haha, some anonymous commenter on WashingtonPost.com wrote that Maryland politico Cheryl Kagan was "carrying on with others husbands" and it was such an ordeal to get the comment removed from the story that the ombudsman decided to write his own story about what an ordeal it was, and that story included the full, libelous comment. Makes perfect sense.


Briana Karp, the homeless girl who was miraculously signed to poverty-level Elle internship, tells Mediaite that she's grateful for the gig:

Nobody has specifically seen the story and called offering me a job yet, which is fine by me – I am hopeful that I can score a good job on merit, talent, and a great résumé!

Thinking like that is how homelessness happens in the first place.


Writing for Fairness and Accuracy in Reporting will make you poor(er). This email went out to contributors to FAIR's mag:

Dear Extra! writers:

We're having a serious budget-tightening at FAIR in response to the recession, and making some very difficult choices about how to save money to keep the organization going. I'm sorry to say that one of the things we're going to have to do is to reduce the rate we pay freelance writers—from 30 cents to 25 cents a word—starting with the November 2009 issue. Hopefully better times are ahead and this will turn out to be just a temporary measure, but in any case we hope this won't be too much of a burden on your own economic circumstances when you write for us. We are very grateful to the freelancers who make Extra! possible, and who put work into each article that is impossible for a small nonprofit magazine like Extra! to ever fully compensate.

Regards,

Jim Naureckas
Julie Hollar

"Bri" (pictured, eyes) is a homeless blogger currently living in a car in a Wal-Mart parking lot. She wrote a letter to Elle columnist E. Jean about blowing a reality show audition, and E. Jean was so taken with her inspirational up-and-at-em go-getting can-do spirit that she offered Bri a four month telecommuting internship! It comes with this guarantee:

At the end of the four months, if you don't have a job and an awesome place to live, I will become your intern.

A media job!? In this economy! So the best part of all will be seeing an Elle columnist intern for an unemployed homeless person. But good luck to one and all!

[Let us know if we can help, Bri! Via Homeless Tales]

Our video editor Richard Blakeley is looking for interns who can ferret out the newsworthy, entertaining and absurd moments from the hours of infotainment that fills our DVRs every day in exchange for resume-enhancing video editing experience.

The schedule is flexible but requires a minimum of 15 hours a week over the course of four months and you must be able to come work in our NYC-based office. College internship credit available to those who qualify. Please email Richard at tvinternship@gawker.com and convince him how much you love TV. No attachments, please.

Photo via YivaS's flickr.

So yeah, The Chertoff Group needs an intern. So what the hell is The Chertoff Group? Glad you asked! Here's the ad they posted seeking an intern:

The Chertoff Group is a fast-growing start up firm that was founded by former Secretary of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff. We are seeking an intern for the fall semester (or longer) who thrives in a faced-paced work environment. Please check out our website for more information on the company: www.chertoffgroup.com. [Please indicate the source for this lead as the Brad Traverse Group (brad traverse dot com)]. The position is unpaid but you would walk away with invaluable knowledge of how a successful start-up operates and deeper insights into the issues surrounding homeland security and the private sector.

Those interested, please send me a short paragraph on why this internship would be meaningful to you.

Please email: debbie.baker@chertoffgroup.com Please put Chertoff Group Intern in the subject line.

Required Skills Excellent writing skills - including knowledge of protocol Deep knowledge of Microsoft Office suite: Excel, PowerPoint, Word Flawless organizational skills

In addition to working for Chertoff, you'll also be answering to former Bush CIA Director Michael Hayden and a host of other former Bush administration officials. Learn crisis management from the pros, who boast on their website that "no one makes better, calmer decisions in an emergency than someone who has done it hundreds of times before," because if there's one thing synonymous with the the presidency of George W. Bush, it's crisis management. So what are you waiting for?

Pic via Wired

The job market has gotten so bad that even unpaid internships with no hope of advancement into an actual job and no actual duties and no chair are the hottest commodities on the market. The Brooklyn DA's office pulled almost 200 interns this summer—180 of whom were probably heartbroken that corporate offices are now using their actual attorneys as interns—and many of them are only valued as ringers on the office softball team. The rest of the time, they lean against the wall, like so many vagrants.

Are these the kids who will support the $5-per-slice Brooklyn pizza industry? Hardly. These kids couldn't even afford a condo in San Diego—now cheaper than a Brooklyn pizza!

So what are we actually "training" these fledgling ambulance-chasers for, really? We're training their calf muscles for their upcoming career as $10/ hr. line-standers, buying tickets for rich people at the 2016 Olympics in Chicago, where the mayor laid off 400 city workers on the same day he pressed for the city to get the games, which will cost $3.3 billion. By the time they roll around, Chicago will be a city of hobos, overrun by out-of-town hobos streaming in for the Hobolympics. Perfect.

In the meantime, I can offer an exciting unpaid "internship" to anyone who cares to fetch me lunch daily! Email me!
[Pic via]

Little Debbie told the interns of America that if they take a photo of themselves at the office holding up some cutesy sign with a plea, and looking pitiful, that Little Debbie will bestow upon them one (1) free box of muffins, which they may gobble up as quickly as possible in order to absorb the maximum number of calories before the fellow office hordes smell them out and descend like so many hungry bats, while the Little Debbie corporation receives, in return, rights to exploit their image in perpetuity. And interns are doing this all over the place. Hey, what's that, muffins? Give me some, I'm your boss. Is that a picture of you at the office? You're all fucking fired.
[via Adrants]

Roll Call reports today that Ensign's intern coordinator sent a sad email to a bunch of other Senate intern coordinators asking if maybe any of them had room for a couple really "great" and apparently morally self-righteous kids who don't want to work for Ensign for free anymore, because it was totally fine to work for him when he was a war-mongering gay-hating asshole but now that he's a war-mongering gay-hating asshole who slept with some lady who he was not married to, no thanks!

"This is Jessica from Ensign's office. I am trying to find out if anyone has any openings for interns. I have some really great interns that want to relocate to another office. If you have anything or know of someone who does please let me know," Walton wrote in the e-mail.

Hey, they should all go work for David Vitter!

Also, about those two jobs Ensign got for the husband of the woman he was sleeping with while he was separated from his own wife: he would totally do the same thing for any staffer of his, and not just one he was cuckolding!

"Just as he has done for many other staff members, Senator Ensign made recommendation calls for Mr. Hampton," Ensign spokesman Tory Mazzola said in a statement.

Yes, sure, right. This guy!

First, here's more than you could possibly want to know about how qualified Zuckerberg is for this gig, courtesy of Abrams cohort/ Mediaite editor-at-large Rachel Sklar:

Her sister forwarded a listing from someone at Yale, presumably from the Yale Journalism List (we sent it to several university lists). Randi knew me and suggested Arielle apply. She did, and knocked Andrew's socks off in their phone interview (Andrew Cedotal coordinated the intern recruitment, and did a fantastic job because our interns RULE. I remember he was psyched because he made a "Dune" joke and she got it.) But more importantly, she's a genius - computer science major, knows Java and is an SEO whiz - interned at the NYTimes social media dept. last summer. She knows blogs inside and out and is just incredibly savvy, smart and is fantastic to work with. She's super smart and we value her immensely. I do want to emphasis that our interns with non-Valleywag-featured surnames are also amazing - we seriously can't believe how lucky we got.

Thanks, Rachel. And now, the big reveal of what you can expect when Mediatie Mediadate Mediaite launches soon. Thanks, The Google.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Elyssa Spitzer, Huffington Post—Eliot Spitzer's daughter (far left)! Interning at the Huffington Post! Funny, funny. We assume she's an intern, at least. This story today was "Filed by Elyssa Spitzer"—"filed," in the sense of "pasted from the AP." Apparently everyone at HuffPo has grace enough not to discuss the richness of their "Eliot Spitzer Prostitution" tag. We'd check and see how Elyssa got her job there, but they won't talk to us, about anything, as a matter of policy! Welcome to the new media revolution, Elyssa!


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Theo Spielberg, New York magazine—Theo, son of Stephen Spielberg, is raking in $7.15 per hour this summer as an editorial intern at New York. He enjoys the real music scene so look for him...in places not covered by New York magazine. Interns there are also not allowed to speak to us, as a matter of policy!


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Tallulah Willis, Harper's Bazaar—As the 15 year-old daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, Tallulah already has valuable experience in areas important to Harper's Bazaar editors, such as "Having direct access to Demi Moore and her friends." She's over there interning as "a guest" of the magazine, which is something they'll do for any teenager, just ask them! We don't have any harsh words to direct at the 15 year-old herself, but if she's still working in the media at 18, such words could manifest themselves.


As always, celebrity media interns were more qualified for the position than you. If you know more that should be added to this list, email us.

Shitty Craigslist media internship offer of the day: this magazine is seeking "3 to 5 qualified [UNPAID] interns for a two-week project with the option of staying on for the full summer internship." Oh okay. The project? "Our goal is to create a magazine from scratch, with the first edition complete in a 10 day window." Haha! Related, I'm seeking 3-5 unpaid interns for a project building an extra room on my apartment. From scratch!


Reason explores the question: What will happen to investigative reporting as newspapers crumble? Might PR people step in to help fill the void? Spoiler: we're already there, my friends! Mmmm, flacktastic.


A journalism student at San Francisco State University witnessed a murder, and took photos of the crime that police would like to see. Journalism studentry, finally useful for something! Right? "But the student maintains that he was on the scene as part of a school project chronicling life in the community, and that his witness account and the photos he took are covered by California's shield law for journalists." Ehh. Ehhhhhhh. Oh give em the pictures, man.


The FTC is issuing new "guidelines" that tell bloggers that they have to disclose when they're writing about free crap that companies send them. This is a good rule but mostly unenforceable. Anyone can be a blogger and they're the softest targets for flacks looking for good reviews. But then again the FTC sent me that t-shirt, so don't believe a word I say.

Hello everyone,
We have a new intern starting today:
My name is Theo Spielberg. I am a Los Angeles native but (clearly) I love
New York City. I am a rising senior at Yale University, studying comparative
literature. Since as long as I can remember, my main interest has been music
- playing it, watching it be played, writing about it, thinking about it
etc. In high school I discovered a similar passion for writing, and have
been pursuing creative and journalistic writing ever since. I look forward
to spending an awesome summer here at New York Magazine.
You can reach him at [TOP SECRET CONTACT METHOD]

He starts today! Research on the infallible internet reveals that Theo is the adopted son of Spielberg and Kate Capshaw, and he has six brothers and sisters. Hopefully he will find Manhattan to be more "band-centric" than shitty New Haven, where the music scene sucks. We've emailed Theo to find out more about his internship, and we'll let you know what we hear. Do you know any other celebrity kids doing media internships? Email us immediately.
Non-celebrity students are also free to apply for New York internships!

UPDATE: NY Mag spokesperson extraordinario Serena Torrey responded to our email to Theo, because "Company policy prevents interns from responding to external press inquiries." She says he's an editorial intern and referred us to the job description on their site, which indicates that right this moment, Theo may be engaged in "database production, fact-checking, research, reporting, and writing," for $7.15 per hour. Which is more than Donald Trump's making from the media, hey-o!

[Pic via]

Why did she bid on this blogger-tunity?

Ariana Huffington is my God (should that be Goddess?) and I bow down to her. Writing for free is not enough for me. I would like to pay her to allow me to write. But seriously, The Huffington Post is a good place to be seen and is a good place to start a writing career. And after all, charity is good! I don't know why you're so against it on your website. Perhaps you're forgetting the charity aspect.

What does she do, in the remainder of her time?

What do I do? Right now I'm taking a few classes. I also like to write. Right now I'm a correspondant for The Anti-Green Movement blog.

What is it she loves about Arianna so much?

The Huffington Post is just alright. I don't like it how famous people think they are a knowledgeable source of information when they are not qualified at all. (*Cough* Jim Carrey in his article for Jenny McCarthy *cough*) I do like charity.

So, may we ask how you make your money, given your generous charitable proclivities?

No, you can't ask.

Sadly Luisa has deleted her Twitter page now, but let's be clear: we fully support this outrageous value being attached to a worthless unpaid blog internship. If this thing succeeds there is no limit to the number of internships we personally expect to be auctioning off, on the side. This new revenue stream could save the once-new media. Luisa, we are with you.
[Previously. And it's not too late to bid!]

I warn you up front that this entire post is the most insipid thing imaginable. Okay.


So! We told you this weekend about the laughable 'internship' ad for some poor sap to hold the coats of two aspiring carpet-walkers, for free, which was very sad and rage-inducing. But it was on Craigslist, which means it could be a fake. And the man himself says it is:

Neither I nor Alexandra wrote the Craigslist Ad linked to in the Gawker post. We are looking for interns (something we've been mentioning to several people) but neither of us would ever write anything as ridiculously bombastic as that post. I did get a laugh out of it though. You should be getting an email from Alexandra's publicist tomorrow morning stating the same.
Best, Adrien Field

Who would create such a vile spoof of this dynamic young combo and their quite innocent intern hunt? One tipster believes it was socialgay and lying flack Kristian Laliberte, who could be jealous that Adrien Field is trying to horn in on his title as New York's dumbest whatever:

It was at the Soho House on Tues for the Acria event where Adrien and Alexandra were both in attendance. KL was there as one of the hosts and looked disgusted when he saw them and went over to this guy, I think his name is Brett, and was like, "Ugh, the rat is here." Everyone knows that Kristian is pissed that Adrien has been getting attention for stuff he used to get it for, like the fur wearing and feels threatened by him especially since they are both apparently writing novels about similar things: social climbing.

I heard him mention Craigslist and I wouldn't be surprised at all if he sent it in himself.

There you have it, a big mystery. We emailed Kristian L. but haven't heard back yet. Needless to say—regardless of who did what—everybody involved in this is contemptible, most especially us. [Pic: Guest of a Guest]

UPDATE: Kristian Laliberte emails:

Hey,
Sadly, I have yet to have enough free time in my days to start creating fake ads. I don't even know who the second person is. I'm sure Craig's List will trace the IP address if you are willing to do a lil investigative journalism. This is mine, in case you are wondering.
x
KBL

Here's Adrien Field, a fella who loves bow ties, and here's Alexandra Alexis, a Myspace-quality singer, and we'll be goddamned if we ever heard of either one of them before, but one thing is for sure: if you watch The City, read Gawker, and know the names of people like Julia Allison and Kristian Laliberte, the only place you are fit for employment is right here. God help you.
[Craigslist; Pic via Guest of a Guest]

The Observer today profiles the sad lives and shattered dreams of the NBC pages, who were told that being an NBC page would start you right up the ladder to the Life of Tina Fey, when in fact, these days, it amounts to a bottom-level tour guide job with unlivable pay and far fewer prospects for advancement than ever before. Welcome to the media's recession years.

The combination of factors took a toll on morale. Some pages bristled at a series of disciplinary crackdowns. According to one source, pages were regularly asked to keep an eye on their colleagues for possible infractions. "It's a culture of fear," said the former page.

Those who gave voice to the grievances felt they risked being blacklisted. "You've devoted a year of your life to doing it," said another former page. "You're so expendable that you really can't complain about anything. If you voice feedback that's remotely negative, you don't get recommended for jobs."

Wow, television is even worse than print. Which is not so fantastic itself! Unpaid internships are still around, but where is the payoff? Where is that entry level gig with real promise of advancement? It's been "given away to a nice farm family," that's where. Just getting out of school and dreaming of a fancy magazine job? Instead, why not put that dream on the shelf, in a jar, and show it off as a curio at parties to your friends, who are also drug dealers?

Once upon a time New York Times execs were all former copy boys, New Yorker fact checkers could move up to staff writers, and if you were the assistant to the editor, you were almost guaranteed a decent gig after your indentured servitude.

Now you are not. Budgets are cut. Jobs dry up. Old timers hold onto theirs at the expense of yours. All you have to offer is your cheap, cheap price tag.

There's no real comfort to be offered. Just ride out the bad years, sell your drugs, and bide your time until all the ad money comes flowing back in (6.5 years). At least you're no longer in danger of becoming the pooping intern.

Several people have sent us this ad in the last 24 hours, and while we sincerely hope it's fake, we're just as sure that it very well could be real. Times are tough, bitches. "Wanted: Eager young man (or emotionally stable woman) to intern in an exceptionally fast-paced media office" for 30 hours per week (they even take women, BONUS!). The requirements:

1. A reasonable phone manner. Not saccharine, but not bitchy. Able to command the respect of whomever is on the line.
2. A reasonable understanding of correspondence. Do you end e-mails with "Sincerely" or frequently use the term "LOL"? Not here you don't.
3. A healthy disdain for "the average." We'll put it this way: Don't talk to us about *The Hills*. Ever.
4. A willingness to perform light childcare. Not every day, but as needed, and with aplomb.
5. A unique tolerance for pressure. Please, no tears. It's grating.
6. Experience with French - *Parisian* French.
7. A presentable appearance. What's a "hoodie"?
8. The ability to lift light weights. Never more than 20 pounds.
9. A breadth of cultural knowledge, from Koolhaas to Kant to Klimt.
10. An ability to take direction. Simple enough.

Ha, sounds fair. With aplomb! What's a hoodie? What's the Hills? Let's discuss the categorical imperative!

Pay for this position is a $10 daily stipend, invaluable experience and the occasional byline. Opportunity move up quickly (6-12 months) to a staff editor position.

This job demands confidence and assertiveness. To apply, please send us an email with a CV and a brief description of a scenario in which you were "truly the best." We can't overstate this point: Contact us ONLY if you fulfill the above requirements.

Oh. Shit. Someone please find out if this is real and let us know. Indentured servitude: it's back! [Craigslist]