Bee Shaffer is the daughter of Anna Wintour, Queen of All America. Despite that fact she cannot "find" a "job," allegedly? It's because she keeps it too real, yall.

Teen Vogue is cannily taking advantage of the widespread yearning to work in fashion by publishing a new "Handbook" which says—we're paraphrasing—"You will fail. Fashion sucks." But the NYT digs up one solitary useful piece of advice.

In your picturesque Thursday media column: Journalism used as a tool to obtain sexual satisfaction, WaPo libelously ponders libel, the homeless intern speaks words of hope, and FAIR is cutting writers' pay.

A homeless woman has landed a (coveted?) four-month internship with Elle magazine, proving that unemployed journalists need only fall a *little* farther to get "back in the game."

Do you like to watch TV? Would like to watch TV for us instead of your Twitter account? (The pay is the same, btw.) Well, lucky you: the Gawker Video team is looking for fall interns. Details after the jump.

Surely you've sat around in the midst of your recessionary squalor and thought, "Gee, I'd really love an unpaid internship at the consulting/lobbying firm started by the former head of Homeland Security under President Bush." Well, today's your lucky day!

The Way We Live Now: Standing. There are so many unpaid interns, we can't even find seats for them all. It's good practice. The 2016 Chicago Olympics' hot new sports are "Standing on the unemployment line" and "Standing there, drunk."

Things have gotten so bad that unpaid corporate interns are literally starving. Across America, interns are desperately prostituting their fresh young smiling faces in return for a single box of Little Debbie muffins, so they may live another day.

John Ensign revealed that he had an affair with a married former staffer (her husband, another former staffer, tried to extort Ensign because of his shitty mortgage and Ensign got him two jobs)), and then all his interns quit.

An addition to the Celebrity Media Intern Class of '09: Arielle Zuckerberg, the kid sister of Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg. She's indentured herself to Dan Abrams-affiliated media blog Mediaite.com. It hasn't launched yet, but we have an exclusive preview!

A new summer has blossomed (technically), and with it a new crop of celebrity media interns, riding their family names into coffee-fetching and fact-checking gigs that should rightfully go to miserable, debt-wracked, overqualified J-school graduates. This year's celeb intern class:

In your total ripoff Tuesday media column: the worst media internship offer in at least a couple days, flackery invades the media (moreso), and a J-school student would rather not help solve a murder:

Celebrity spawn news! New York magazine has used a fair and impartial process to hire new interns, and one of them happens to be Steven Spielberg's son! Allow him to introduce himself [UPDATED below]:

Last week we identified Luisa from Rio as the probable lucky future journalist who's the $13,000 high bidder on a (priceless) Huffington Post internship in a charity auction. Then she emailed us! Meet her:

It's New York City's most vacuous feud, maybe! Chuckleworthy fauxcialites Adrien Field and Alexandra Alexis deny they placed a "ridiculously bombastic" internship ad. Is a rival self-worshiping socialgay out to get them [UPDATED]?

Not only are there no real entry-level media jobs; even internship opportunities have come to this: "Do you watch The City, read Gawker and know the names of people like Julia Allison and Kristian Laliberté?"

2009 is a terrible time to be young, if you're the type of young person who wants a job in the media, as opposed to the drug distribution industry. The "entry level" is...closed.

Attention, unemployed young media people: according to what we fear may be a real Craigslist job posting, you may be able to make up to $10 working for a publishing company! If you're not "bitchy."

In your sumptuous Tuesday media feast: Celebrity mags flounder, interns replace reporters, Ron Burkle's steaming mad, the New Yorker has jokes, and more!

The ongoing collapse of the American economy means middle-class college grads must behave like coddled aristocratic twits and secure internships through their parents' largesse.