The Atlantic ranks "The 50 Greatest Breakthroughs Since the Wheel." Was the moldboard plow really more important than cement? Me-ouch! We're not wading into this hornet's nest!
Crazy Toothbrush Injects You with Caffeine, Medicine as You Brush

In an effort to simplify your morning routine, the inventors at Colgate-Palmolive have filed a patent for technology for regular toothbrushes containing chemicals that would slowly be released into your mouth as you brushed.
Text-Friendly Umbrellas Will Be the Worst Thing to Happen to Sidewalks
As a shared thoroughfare, the city sidewalk works best when its users maintain an acute awareness of their surroundings. This should involve recognition of fellow flaneurs, nearby vehicles, and the general pace of pedestrian traffic. There is an iffy yielding system. While it seems like organized chaos, there are rules
The Creator of Dilbert, the World's Greatest Genius, Has Had Another Brilliant Thought
Scott Adams is the guy who writes Dilbert, a cartoon beloved by suicidal office workers across America. Scott Adams is also, not to brag, the smartest person in America, judging simply by the quantity of thinly-veiled self-regard which drips off of each and every post on Scott Adams' blog, especially the rapey ones.…
'Camel Toe Advocate' Invents Camel-Toe-Proof Panties
As part of Gawker's ongoing effort to keep readers apprised of innovation in the underwear supplement industry (fart-neutralizing undies, penis-enhancing undies, calorie-absorbing undies, sexy period undies) may I now present Camelflage, "the original visual privacy undergarment" for eliminating camel toe with a…
World's Most Expensive Tea: Panda Poop
Just as the world's fanciest coffee is made from the partially digested coffee beans plucked from a Filipino tree rodent's poop, the world's fanciest tea will soon be created from the dung of panda bears.
Can Your Homemade Rockets Do This?
Everybody say hi to Qu8k ("quake"): An artisanal rocket made by Derek Deville that zoomed 121,000 feet above the surface of Planet Earth in only 92 seconds. Deville launched Qu8k on September 30 from Nevada's Black Rock Desert (the same spot where the Burning Man Festival of the One Percent takes place). The 14-foot…
The Poop-Powered Toilet Bike of Japan
Japanese toilet maker Toto has invented the world's first Toilet Bike, which converts human poop "harvested directly from the driver" into biogas, Treehugger reports.* The seat is a toilet, so if you ride it with your pants down, you could theoretically defecate while you ride, thereby fueling it.
This Automated Pizza Vending Machine Has a Built-In TV
Behold, the ne plus ultra of American innovation: Pizzametry, an automated machine capable of making custom pizzas in mere minutes, while you watch TV. Let us marvel at the pneumatic glory of Pizzametry spinning dough, slicing pepperonis, squirting sauce, and sprinkling cheese.
A Fruity, Functional Piano You Can Eat
Fruit is so versatile: You can eat it straight from the store, eat it later, eat it baked in a pie or muffin, or not eat it at all—just let it rot away and feel guilty about wasting food (the fruit flies will console you). You can also use it to make your own Resistor Jeltone: an edible, functional toy piano.
Man Receives Patent to Build 'the Ultimate Snowman'
Back in 2006, Ignacio Marc Asperas sent the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office a 25-page application titled "Apparatus for facilitating the construction of a snow man/woman." Earlier this month the Office finally approved his application, and starting this winter Asperas will begin suing everyone who builds snowmen…
The Bike Repair Vending Machine That Sells Parts, Tools, and Snacks
It's happened to every biker. A flat tire in an inconvenient place on your commute, and the nearest bike shop is a long walk away. Most casual bikers don't carry extra tubes or tools with them; and so any repair work on the road can mean an end to a bike ride, and potentially leaving your bike locked up somewhere…
Airplane of the Future Makes Flying More Needlessly Complex Than Ever
Airbus has unveiled a "plane of the future," which will finally fulfill man's ultimate dream: To fly in a translucent bubble while also playing a golf video game and inhaling vitamin-laced air.
The Navy Will Fight Pirates with Lasers
Welcome to the future, people. The U.S. Navy has perfected a high-energy laser that can be aimed from a ship and can set another boat's engines on fire. The military thinks it will be perfect to prevent attacks by smaller vessels, so pirates being zapped with lasers won't be something you'll just read about in comic…