Art imitates life; the plot of Revenge of the Nerds is now becoming a reality in Cupertino.

Ryan Collins of Pennsylvania will plead guilty to violating the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act as part of the celebrity iCloud breach known as “The Fappening” or “Celebgate” by the brave men of Reddit and 4chan who masturbated throughout. He faces up to five years in prison.

The Justice Department is seeking court orders that would force Apple to help it bypass the security features on at least twelve other iPhones not connected to terrorism cases, the Wall Street Journal reports.

Instead of waking up this morning to the proprietary echoing blip of the iPhone’s default alarm tone, a bunch of iPhone owners awoke this week to find the alarms they set had been turned off. Why? How? What the fuck happened?

Apple has for many years attempted to project its incoherent definition of decency onto iPhone users, typically when it comes to sex. But as of today, we know that news about killer drone strikes is too hot for the App Store, too.

The new iPhones, Apple announced yesterday, will be set by default to automatically record a constant stream of sound and video whenever the camera app is in use, without the user pressing the shutter button and even if the camera isn’t set to take video.

Most people attend a Broadway show with the understanding that cellphones aren’t allowed, you should turn them off, and you won’t need them for the next couple of hours. Most, but not all. Not the guy who tried to plug his iPhone into the set (which is located on the actual stage, to which the entire audience is…

They took Christ out of the classroom, and now they're coming for your iPhone: the new version of iOS has erased the radiant glory of God from the prayer hands emoji.

Every year, Apple tempts the world with a new, expensive iPhone, hailed as the fastest and best iPhone ever. You buy it. And then, just in time for the next Fastest iPhone Ever to hit stores, the one in your pocket feels crummier and more sluggish than ever. Coincidence? Or conspiracy?

Even if you were unwilling to battle it out in line or pay a homeless person to stand in line for you, you can still have an iPhone 5s right now if you're ready to pay through the nose: New iPhones are currently on Cragislist for $2,000.