To those suggesting pissing in bottles, a horrible true tale: years ago I was attending a university in the Deep South (lasted only one year before high-tailing it back to the Midwest) and my brother and his friend decided to drive me back after spring break so they could check out the Joe Namath stuff there, among other things. During this multi-hour event, my brother drank an entire 2-litre bottle of Dr. Pepper. The result is obvious. His solution was simply to "re-fill" the 2-litre bottle. By the time we arrived at our destination (he had refused to get rid of it during and I would not touch it), we had a 2-litre bottle of warm piss rolling around the car. Not only did it look and smell disgusting, I was trapped in a small car with my brother -- my brother, for crying out loud -- peeing in a bottle! All I ask is that if you're going to do this, gentlemen, please don't do it in my company.
If faced with a similar situation, Les Stroud would piss in the cup and used the warmth to heat his core.
Bear Grylls would also piss in the cup, and then (showman that he is), drink it on camera. However, he would also have left the stake-out immediately after the cameras turned off to go to the chicest boutique hotel around.
@resipsaloquacious: yeah, but Les Stroud would piss in the cup and then whine about how hard it is to piss in a cup, and no one in the history of the world has ever had it hard as he has it now. He would then go on to sit and whine about how cold it is, how hungry he is, how dangerous this is, his parents, god and really anything else that might come to mind before walking to a road and picking up his ride.
@ohgee: By now, he would have taken the harmonica apart to make a guillotine trap for a squirrel. Then he would act all surprised when no squirrels were dumb enough to stick their heads in.
@resipsaloquacious: Sorry babe. Bear Grylls all the way. That show is like porn for me. Run up that mountain! Climb that tree! Jump in that frigid water and swim! Take your clothes off and do naked push ups! I can't not watch it.
Hang in there, John. Stalking is a craft. You'll get the hang of it. You need a Scully to make iced tea runs and cover you for those crucial potty breaks.
@cupcakes: Normally I wouldn't be so vain and presumptous (who me?). But Gawker did feature that comment last week on the home page (as one of these things: [gawker.com]). So that's good enough for me ... I'm taking credit.
I lead a fairly lackluster existence, so I need to claim these petty accomplishments wherever I can.
I can't wait until the day Bill O'Reilly dies on the toilet as a result of blood loss from an open, festering, bleeding hemorrhoid. With a loofa in one hand, a coke mirror in the other and his pants around his ankles.
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Thank you for listening.
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[en.wikipedia.org]
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Various wigs
Adult diapers
tear gas in the back
The lady was a friggin scientist so she totally thought the whole thing out. We need to google her steelo to up the stalking game.
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If faced with a similar situation, Les Stroud would piss in the cup and used the warmth to heat his core.
Bear Grylls would also piss in the cup, and then (showman that he is), drink it on camera. However, he would also have left the stake-out immediately after the cameras turned off to go to the chicest boutique hotel around.
So, I put the question to you again, Les or Bear?
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Don't forget, he would also be wailing out on his harmonica.
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How dare you.
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My father always referred to this technique as the "Thunder Jug".
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I lead a fairly lackluster existence, so I need to claim these petty accomplishments wherever I can.
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