God Weighs in on the Election Cycle With One Carefully-Timed Lightning Bolt
The wrath of God is swift and just, and it has chosen the head of Donald Trump.
You Don't Pass a Pool Fencing Law After a Child Drowns, Says Jeb, Who Did Just That
“Stuff happens” was the dumbest and most unfortunate thing Jeb! Bush said Friday in reaction to the mass shooting at an Oregon community college one day earlier, but his fumbling attempt to clean up that mess was nearly as rife with dumbitude and non-fortune.
Artist Murdered While Painting Mural for Peace
Police say a California artist was completing a public art project intended to fight violence in his community when he was murdered mid-painting Tuesday.
A New Ponderous John McPhee Story About the Act of Writing? Fuck Yeah!!
Stop what you are doing right this minute and prepare yourself for the arrival of thoroughly shocking news: John McPhee has written a ponderous New Yorker story about the process of writing itself.
Things To Not Wear To a Confederate Rally: FUBU Sneakers
FUBU, the clothing brand founded by Shark Tank’s fourth most vicious shark, Daymond John, famously stands for, “For us, by us.” The “us” who FUBU was created by and intended for is not, as it turns out, white KKK members from backwater Georgia.
Idiot Man on Facebook: Caitlyn Jenner No Hero, Unlike These Toy Army Men
With Caitlyn Jenner’s public debut dominating the news cycle this week, people who are uncomfortable that Bruce is now Caitlyn are trying to tear her down by claiming she’s not a real American hero, like The Troops. This is a bad and disingenuous argument, which makes it all the more satisfying to see it buried under…
Woman in Wheelchair with No Legs Wins Treadmill on the Price is Right
Life is short and cruel and then you get on the Price is Right.
Agoraphobic Grandma Finally Leaves Home, Immediately Falls Down Manhole
After nearly a decade indoors, agoraphobic grandmother Janet Faal had finally worked up the courage to leave her home and brave the world outside. Her reward? Two black eyes, a broken leg, and a fall down an open manhole.
Chicago Fire Extinguisher Factory Burns in Three-Alarm Blaze
More than 150 firefighters were called to the scene of a fire in Chicago's Archer Heights neighborhood late Thursday night at a factory that manufactures fire extinguishers.
Revenge Porn Sleaze Craig Brittain Wants His Past Deleted from Google
Before it was shuttered by the federal government, IsAnyoneDown.com published naked photos of women without their consent. Now Craig Brittain, the site's former owner, is demanding that Google erase anything that mentions his history of brazen, mass privacy violation. That's so cute.
White Privilege Doesn't Exist, Says Noted Privileged White Man
Oh boy. We've long been aware that there is no room for irony in the vacuum of cable news, but Bill O'Reilly's segment last night on White Privilege™ was really something special. It doesn't exist, the man says! A lie perpetrated by a society of humans too goddamn lazy to overcome the disadvantages they are born…
Fuck These 10 People Wearing Giant Ironic Meme Bullshit Sweatshirts
There are people who want to look like Tumblr grew legs and walked out of ass-town. Look at this guy. Fuck this guy.
George Harrison's Memorial Tree Was Killed by Beetles
Go ahead and email this one to your dad: the George Harrison Tree was killed by beetles. Los Angeles Councilman Tom LaBonge announced over the weekend that the tree, which lived for 10 years in Griffith Observatory Park, died recently of an infestation.
Pamplona Bull Gores Author of How to Survive the Bulls of Pamplona
The guy on the ground in the Associated Press photo above is Bill Hillman, 35, of Chicago, who for more than a decade has run with the bulls in Pamplona, Spain, and just last month helped write the book on how to survive the ritual. Yesterday, the bull won. But it's not as bad as it looks!
Fox News Takes Some Liberties with the BioShock Infinite Logo
BioShock Infinite creator Ken Levine describes the game as a Rorshach test. What you make of Columbia—a sort of alternate-history America with more flying islands and killer George Washington robots—probably says more about you than it does about BioShock Infinite. Do you read the imagery as patriotism or propaganda?
Fox News Reporter Trolls Women's Conference, Is Kicked Out by Police
"Watters' World" is The O'Reilly Factor's Daily Show-esque segment wherein reporter Jesse Watters attempts to skewer issues and ideas capturing/distracting the American conversation. In this edition, Watters crashes the 2014 National Organization for Women conference in Albuquerque to figure out what the hell these…
Suicide Warnings on Antidepressants Led to More Suicide Attempts
A decade ago, everyone was worried about all our kids being on antidepressants. What about the side effects. So the FDA put big warnings on antidepressants about possible increased suicide risks for young people. How did that turn out?
Top Aide Behind U.K.'s Porn Filters Arrested for Child Porn
A top aide to U.K. Prime Minister David Cameron, who helped Cameron draft the legislation behind the county's national Internet porn filters, has been charged with "a potential offense relating to child abuse imagery."
Breaking Bad Fan Who Partied With Show's Stars Arrested on Drug Charges
A Florida man who made headlines after winning a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to watch the Breaking Bad series finale with the show's stars at a private party in a Hollywood cemetery is back in the news this week after being busted on multiple drug charges.
Woman Wearing 'Abusive Wife' Costume Arrested for Beating Up Boyfriend
Police in Michigan say a woman who was arrested last week for assaulting her live-in boyfriend happened to be wearing an "abusive wife" costume at the time.
